So long story short, someone royally ****ed up at work and I am left doing damage control. I'm in for a really long weekend, so I may not be around much until after Monday or Tuesday.
If you ever do want to seek revenge: give them poppy seed (and other co-workers non-poppy seed equivalents so they don't realize what you're doing) then orchestrate a drug test to be run.
Revenge takes nothing more than a handful of alluring Gummy Bears. These are made with some hellish sugar substitute which has side effects opposite what anyone would believe capable of sweet little gummy wummy bears. Try them at the upcoming Christmas party. I recommend the five pound bag.