Ask Coruscant Awkwardness and Desperation

Talak Rand

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Jedi Order
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He didn't expect her to be so... emotional about this. Or for her to have her own anger about this. She was the one who had picked this, and she was angry about him reacting to it? What the kark?!

He spun around and looked at her with a piercing gaze as she was getting ready to leave. He wanted to slap the door controls, but he was still thinking clearly enough to understand the potential implications of such an action.

What?! he asked, not quite shouting. He didn't care who outside the ship heard at this point. No, no, no, no, you don't get to throw that back in my face, he said. You just sat there and told me that you didn't want to belong to anyone. That I can't have you and now it's "oh you kind of can," he said. Whether she would decide the fire in his eyes was better than emptiness was up for debate, but he overrode the urge he had to march over closer to her unless she started to actually walk away. He knew there was a part of her that was afraid of him. He could feel it even now, and he didn't want it to grow.

And while we're on the topic of me "controlling you," he said, referring to what she'd said about him. I've never even had a chance with you, have I? You've already put me into a box with the psychopaths because of what I was born. You already decided what you thought about me regardless of what I've ever done or said. I've never done anything to you, he said. Well, maybe that wasn't true, but the whole drugging thing had been... before he fully understood. And that hadn't been him who had drugged her. He'd never once abused his powers with her, he meant.

The one thing that resounded in his mind were her words about not regretting it or wanting to change it. They pierced through the anger and began to work on him. He put his hands against his face, steepled over his nose as he took a deep breath. She would have seen him do this before when calming himself down. It was a tic when he was frustrated, and when he spoke again his voice was softer.

Trys... he didn't even know what to say to her. Half of what he'd said up until this point probably didn't even make sense, but it was spoken in his same impulsive fashion.

What do you want from me? he finally asked, only now closing the distance between the two of them. The flash of anger that had been there seemed to have subsided ever so slightly, but the pain was still present. She was baffling and insanely frustrating at times, but he also knew that he liked himself better when she was in his life. He liked being around her. There was... something there that was real.
 

Trys Aran

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Sreeya
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Trys was already down the exit ramp and had pulled out a smoke, taking a puff from it. She was once again surprised when he emerged at the doorway to continue their...conversation. Trys turned to look at him, quirking an eyebrow. She had to look around to see if anyone else were watching because it felt like a strange lovers’ spat, and she couldn’t remember the last time she had engaged in one. Trys drew in from the cigarra, smoke pluming through her nostrils as she listened to him.

“Honestly?” She was easing back into her usual reserved self, “I don’t know. I liked the simplicity of it. Maybe I just wanted to do some jobs together, we could keep kriffing here and there and not put any labels on it,” She shrugged, drawing from the cigarra again, “But you come at me left field with feelings and that has always thrown me off. I’m a grown ass woman, Talak,” She shook her head, “I know you’re in love with me. Even if you’re in denial about it yourself. And honestly, maybe the fault is mine - I led you to think I was in the same headspace, I let my own impulses get in the way. But that’s not what you need.”

She sighed, running her fingers through her hair and looking away. He would see the cloud of smoke releasing from her nose and mouth, “You deserve way better than damaged goods like me. I shut those doors a long time ago. It’s been my boy and I and I don’t want that to change. You on the other hand have a lot to offer and a lot more life to live with nothing tying you down.”

Trys looked at him again, managing a faint grin, “So I guess I want nothing from you, Talak. But we can certainly be friends like you always say. I won’t say I don’t care about you, because I do. I just can’t give you everything you want me to give you and it’s not fair to keep letting you think it’ll become something more when it might never go that way.”
 

Talak Rand

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Jedi Order
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Jedi Knight

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Nothing could ever be simple, could it? Talak would have killed to have a day of simplicity in his life that didn't involve him feeling completely lost and confused about what was going on. That illusive, mysterious clarity... surely it was out there somewhere.

Her words... weren't helpful either. He wondered if perhaps someday she would change her mind on these things. He didn't know where he fell on it. He debated whether he should budge on his opinions. He didn't want her to walk out of his life, but his joke wasn't a joke either... he wasn't just some hooker for her to toss aside.

He said nothing for a moment as he thought about what she said. After a moment, he looked up at her and his gaze was as convicted and unwavering as she was familiar with from him.

Trys... I don't need the Force to see through you. You have feelings for me, too... but you're a rule follower. You created rule number three because you think it'll protect you and make you stronger. The whole damaged goods argument... he just snorted and shook his head.

I just hope I'm still around when you realize rule number three... is a dumb rule, and it doesn't help anyone, he said with a shake of his head.

And if you do... you know how to find me, he said and stepped back inside. He hoped she would realize it. He hoped she would realize that she had created a set of rules for herself to follow that did nothing but restrain her potential. He hoped his words would stick in her mind in the days and weeks to come, and if she did... she had his number.
 
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