Having made his way through the streets of the surrounding city, Cardin entered the Bouncy Bantha Casino. A symbol of Cartel power and influence, the Bouncy Bantha was a steady stream of legal income for the Cartel, and that made it very important. Despite it's dealings, the Hutt Cartel still...
"Good Man! Follow me, and ill grab those papers for you." He had to hold back a small chuckle at the 'Good Man!' bit, that was a little overboard. After he spoke, he led the human into his ship where the other guards were offloading his crates filled with... honestly, he had forgotten what he...
Okay here's my list of things.
1. You can say your Sith before you apply. Just be sure you do.
2. I like the statistics l, balanced with an interesting strength.
3. If you want an image to show on the page without having to follow a link put the images URL between this code: [.IMG][/IMG]...
This biography feels like it should be in first person. Unless that's not his personality. I think the attributes should be detailed a little more. Other than that, i think this is a pretty cool character.
You might want to change the thread title to match the characters name. In personality where you say he's an above average slicer, who was rebuked for slicing into unauthorized info, that would fit more in strengths because it really says nothing about his personality. You could probably just...
He heard a knocking on the hull before hearing a muffled voice ask for entry. "Open up." the voice demanded. "Lets get this over with.". Cardin smirked as he lowered the exit ramp, and stepped out. "Hello, gentlemen. He said, shoddily adopting the tone of some military types he once worked with...
Cardin let loose a sigh of relief as Skyye let him know which hangar to dock in. He coasted into bay 5 with relative ease as he realized they would be separated for a moment. On top of that, they would most likely be greeted separately as well. Cardin called to mind one of his many lies he used...
After shrugging off Skyye's giggle, Cardin scanned the hangar they were in. That man could literally be going on about anything. He tried to pick out some important looking people, but other than some rather expensive ships, he couldn't pick out their targets. He decided to keep at the groups...
Following his orders, Cardin set up just to the left of the door; just out of sight, but ready to breach at a single word. He cringed as the stench of the cantina mingled with the tension he felt in the air. This could get bloody quickly. He looked back at Yuri, and Samael before sliding a...
Okay since that image was a no-go, I found three more that should work for a Nelvaanian. Especially since the helmets on. Although, I didn't check to see if these images were already in use on the site yet so that might be a problem.
At first it seemed like the second image was of a mando...
HAHA! I CAUGHT THAT NAME THIS TIME!
Now on to the profile. That wisdom score seems a little odd, the way you described it he seems more like a 3, or 4. 1 is like stereotypical gamorean guard level wisdom, especially after saying he can form complex plans that, and sort of manipulate emotions...
The main thing is i didn't catch the name sooner lol. When i did it basically sent me on a witch hunt through all your characters family members names trying to find another name like that.
And your welcome. I'm sure some other people will drop by to divvy out their two cents.
Edit: Ninja'd
Also if you want the image to appear on the page just put the images URL between the code [.IMG][/IMG] except remove the period and don't put any spaces.
Talking about the profile itself. The other guys nailed everything on the head. I was just really bothered by the link at the top lol.
Well personally i'm seeing too many 9s on his skills. I think a few of them should be brought down, not saying that through training you couldn't bring them up, but I doubt a padawan would start with these level of skills. Tutanimis MAY be a no-go for padawans as well, but i'd wait for a jedi...