The galaxy is a chaotic place. A whorl of emotion and memory, action and reaction, all mixed up and competing for a single gasp of relevance and always unable to breathe. However, there are some places where the rush of life slows to a crawl, where even the busiest mind can find some measure of relief.
Yavin IV is such a place, and in the jungles outside the Jedi Temple a grey robed figure sits in a narrow clearing among the undergrowth, having traded the hum of a hyperdrive for birdsong, and the adventure of setting foot on new planets for the simple crunch of familiar foliage. Here, he tries to slow his mind enough to grant him the self-evident wisdom of simple contemplation. Here, he fails.
“It happened again.”
He saw flashes, mere impressions of fragments of memories. A pair of small, empty beds, their owners never to be seen again.
“You weren’t there.”
The scorched scent of ozone on a nearly abandoned outer rim world.
“It was easier not to be there, wasn’t it?”
A friend’s grief, shouldered entirely alone.
“It was your choice.”
A temple, burning, defiled.
Vahn Berand, Jedi Knight cracked one eye open as droidspeak chirped beside him, breaking him from his meditative repose. A squat BG unit, blazened in green and black rolled around on the stone floor before him in a small, anxious orbit.
“No, Ralta. I don’t need you to fetch a medical droid.”
Ralta replied with a short series of inquisitive beeps.
“I know what my face must have looked like. I’m fine, really, just some bad memories.”
Vahn rose to his feet, leathered boots creaking as he turned back towards the temple. Ralta quickly circled around in front of him to block his path. She started chirping accusingly.
“No, this isn’t like when I ate that moongl- don’t you have a stabilizer to prod or something!?” Vahn spat.
He stormed past the little droid, cursing in several different languages. A soft, dejected digital bleat in his wake stopped him cold. Vahn sighed, and slowly turned to face her.
“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. I know you’re just doing your best. Come on, we still have a lot to learn now that we’re back, it seems,” Vahn said, leaning one arm against a nearby tree. “There’s just a lot going on.”
Ralta chirped at him in concern, and Vahn let his response die in awkward silence before turning back towards the temple. It was a short hike back, and he followed a path he was intimately familiar with. He remembered running this same path when he was a young learner; hardly even a padawan training under Master Aeva Vetan. Every tree, every turn around jutting rocks, even some of the vines were the same. There were many times he wished he could return to those days, when Arias would brag about how far ahead he was in his training, but yet still unable to hide the look of anxiety as Vahn caught up. Things were simpler then, when he could count on Master Vetan solving every trouble with a lesson and a mug of some exotic tea. He ran his hand over the still-warm canister sloshing at his hip. It was full of his own attempts to replicate her skill. He was almost there. Almost. Almost and never.
His thoughts dwelled on those times as he started running, and somehow by the time he made it before the yawning hanger of the Jedi Temple he had actually collected his thoughts, somehow calmed himself in some fractional way. At least enough to slow his pace to a light jog and not humiliate himself by running full tilt back into the temple.
The hanger was busy with the few Jedi starcraft there were being serviced, while others ran about their own administrative or practical tasks to keep the Order afloat in a thousand separate ways. A microcosm of the galaxy at large; many hands working in their own ways towards the proper function of the whole.
He could see his own X-wing as he approached, an old grey and blue T-70, dinged and weathered in all the right places. Vahn felt it gave the ship character; made it feel more like an individual than a factory piece. The service crew surrounding it seemed less than enamored; bickering with one another, barking and cussing about how to even start.
“Life is meaningless without complications, friends. Just think of the story you’ll have to tell when you’re done with her!” Vahn said, not even slowing down as he strode past with a grin on his face.
Vahn paused as he opened a door that lead back into the temple proper, his thoughts betraying him, running back to his earlier meditations despite himself.
No matter how uncomfortable it was, every accusation was true, wasn’t it?
Yavin IV is such a place, and in the jungles outside the Jedi Temple a grey robed figure sits in a narrow clearing among the undergrowth, having traded the hum of a hyperdrive for birdsong, and the adventure of setting foot on new planets for the simple crunch of familiar foliage. Here, he tries to slow his mind enough to grant him the self-evident wisdom of simple contemplation. Here, he fails.
“It happened again.”
He saw flashes, mere impressions of fragments of memories. A pair of small, empty beds, their owners never to be seen again.
“You weren’t there.”
The scorched scent of ozone on a nearly abandoned outer rim world.
“It was easier not to be there, wasn’t it?”
A friend’s grief, shouldered entirely alone.
“It was your choice.”
A temple, burning, defiled.
Vahn Berand, Jedi Knight cracked one eye open as droidspeak chirped beside him, breaking him from his meditative repose. A squat BG unit, blazened in green and black rolled around on the stone floor before him in a small, anxious orbit.
“No, Ralta. I don’t need you to fetch a medical droid.”
Ralta replied with a short series of inquisitive beeps.
“I know what my face must have looked like. I’m fine, really, just some bad memories.”
Vahn rose to his feet, leathered boots creaking as he turned back towards the temple. Ralta quickly circled around in front of him to block his path. She started chirping accusingly.
“No, this isn’t like when I ate that moongl- don’t you have a stabilizer to prod or something!?” Vahn spat.
He stormed past the little droid, cursing in several different languages. A soft, dejected digital bleat in his wake stopped him cold. Vahn sighed, and slowly turned to face her.
“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. I know you’re just doing your best. Come on, we still have a lot to learn now that we’re back, it seems,” Vahn said, leaning one arm against a nearby tree. “There’s just a lot going on.”
Ralta chirped at him in concern, and Vahn let his response die in awkward silence before turning back towards the temple. It was a short hike back, and he followed a path he was intimately familiar with. He remembered running this same path when he was a young learner; hardly even a padawan training under Master Aeva Vetan. Every tree, every turn around jutting rocks, even some of the vines were the same. There were many times he wished he could return to those days, when Arias would brag about how far ahead he was in his training, but yet still unable to hide the look of anxiety as Vahn caught up. Things were simpler then, when he could count on Master Vetan solving every trouble with a lesson and a mug of some exotic tea. He ran his hand over the still-warm canister sloshing at his hip. It was full of his own attempts to replicate her skill. He was almost there. Almost. Almost and never.
His thoughts dwelled on those times as he started running, and somehow by the time he made it before the yawning hanger of the Jedi Temple he had actually collected his thoughts, somehow calmed himself in some fractional way. At least enough to slow his pace to a light jog and not humiliate himself by running full tilt back into the temple.
The hanger was busy with the few Jedi starcraft there were being serviced, while others ran about their own administrative or practical tasks to keep the Order afloat in a thousand separate ways. A microcosm of the galaxy at large; many hands working in their own ways towards the proper function of the whole.
He could see his own X-wing as he approached, an old grey and blue T-70, dinged and weathered in all the right places. Vahn felt it gave the ship character; made it feel more like an individual than a factory piece. The service crew surrounding it seemed less than enamored; bickering with one another, barking and cussing about how to even start.
“Life is meaningless without complications, friends. Just think of the story you’ll have to tell when you’re done with her!” Vahn said, not even slowing down as he strode past with a grin on his face.
Vahn paused as he opened a door that lead back into the temple proper, his thoughts betraying him, running back to his earlier meditations despite himself.
No matter how uncomfortable it was, every accusation was true, wasn’t it?