Ask Yavin IV A Lesson In Retrospection

[Nyx Otsana]

Ruins, West Of The Temple​

Stepping amongst the ruins, Nyx couldn’t help but wonder what once stood there. Though the temple itself remained, in its vicinity were scattered, skeletal clusters of pillars and passageways, crumbled walls, and half-standing statues. This area was of particular interest, having a great stone mouth, its tunnel leading deep within the earth; the Jedi were discovering something new each day, further confirming their choice of settlement. Perhaps in time, with further efforts, this area too could be restored for purpose.

But the Kiffar wasn’t there for a tour. Unfortunately, she was there awaiting another padawan. Sev Creed. Honestly, at first, she couldn’t place a face to the name, not that she was really one to talk, given her cloth and veil. But try as she might, she couldn’t recall much of the person; had she passed him once in the labyrinth of hallways? Possibly, but up until now, there certainly wasn’t much in the way of interaction. Not surprising though, given the Nyx’s own reclusive tendency.

She wouldn’t have even sought him out had the masters not encouraged it. They were hell-bent on pushing Nyx out of her comfort zone, try as she might to resist. First the escort mission with Padawan Lurel, and now a training session with Creed. To make matters worse, the focus was on psychometry.

Ugh. Just the very prospect made her flinch.

Whilst a revered skill amongst her Kiffar clan, the ability itself was (for Nyx) a source of pain. Which begs the question, how did a padawan like Sev garner such skill? Curiosity was getting the better of her, for once overshadowing her usual reservations. But only time will tell how long her willingness will last.

Who knows. Maybe I’ll get lucky…Maybe he won’t show up.

 

[Severus Creed]

Severus Creed had a lot of experience on his hands for such a young Jedi. Though he was just a Padawan, he had made it pretty audible to the other masters that he wanted to begin preparation for his Jedi Knight trials. As a bit of a joke one Master suggested giving a lesson or two to an inexperienced Padawan as most Jedi Knights and even Masters take up an apprentice, but then after careful consideration and to Sev's dismay- they actually went through with the idea as a way for Sev to increase his social skills.

It was absolutely absurd and such a ridiculous idea, but Sev decided to go along with the idea if it meant he'd be one step closer to participating in the trials. His "apprentice" was a Padawan that the black-clad Padawan had never met before; Nyx Otsana. Apparently, he was to enlighten the Kiffar on the ability of Psychometry, which was luckily one of Sev's favorite Force abilities that he liked to use and practice as a pass time activity. Hopefully, Nyx wouldn't prove to be too difficult for him and they could just get this lesson over and done with so Sev could go back to his, recently deemed, more important practices.

He arrived at the temple ruins as instructed, and greeted his fellow Padawan with a formal bow. Severus had his ambitious and cold glare about him and his scar made him a little more uneasy to look at, but Sev couldn't help the way his resting face formed over time. "Hello, Padawan Otsana. I, as you probably already know, am Severus Creed. The masters wanted me to show you how psychometry works. So, I prepared a short lesson that'll get us done quickly if you comply accordingly. The quicker we're in this, the sooner we're out of it. So please pay attention." He said in his trademark cynical tone.

In his left hand he held a tooth to a Nexu, and his right was his crossguard lightsaber. Sev was planning on showing Nyx the duality of the galaxy. The Nexu's tooth would relay memories of a young juvenile growing up with it's siblings, while his lightsaber would show it's many adventures with Sev, most importantly the Sith Severus faced and defeated on the battle of Taris.

"Take your pick." He taunted dryly.

@Pam0wl

 

[Nyx Otsana]

If Nyx was taken aback by Sev’s persona, it didn’t show. Younglings may have trembled at the sight of him but Nyx had seen her fair share of horrors, both human and otherwise. If anything, she seemed relieved with his forwardness. No beating around the bush, it was straight to business. There was nothing more awkward than feigned pleasantries. Other Jedi were not so...genuine.

“Fine with me.”

She couldn’t judge him on his face alone, given the state of her own, hidden under garb and veil. Besides, amongst her people, scars were medals of honor, wounds turned into records of the flesh. The only thing that did annoy her (so far) was the fact that he was a good few inches taller than her, despite her being the older of the two.

Shrugging her thoughts aside, she approached, her kohl-eyed gaze surveying the items held in offer. Admittedly, she was curious about the lightsaber, having only a training tool herself. The design was interesting too. Crossguards? She hadn’t seen that sort of style before. That alone made her reach for it, even if just for a closer look.

But it soon became clear that the closer her hand got, the more reluctant she became. She had always been sensitive to these sorts of things, and given her past, she was now downright wary. Though it was the weapon of a Jedi it had touched something...tainted.

Glancing up at Sev, Nyx then abruptly took the tooth instead. As always, she went for the safe option.

...As usual. Coward.

Huffing at herself, Nyx tried to focus on the tooth, at first inspecting it before trying to attune herself. Truthfully, she’d never even seen a nexu before, so when she caught a glimpse, she struggled to actually picture it. “I see...an animal?”

Well, obviously, given it was a tooth. She didn’t even need to look at Sev to know it was a less than impressive answer.

Trying again, she delved further. “It was young...I don’t recognize the species though.”

Feeling it was safe, Nyx reached out, really attempting to ‘read’ the object itself. She was pleasantly surprised to find the emotions attached to the fang were actually quite pleasant.

“It seemed happy….”

The Kiffar couldn’t help it. She glanced at Sev, now wondering how he came to possess the fang in the first place. He didn’t seem like the hunter type.

@Charles

 

[Severus Creed]

Severus raised an eyebrow as the girl reached for his saber. Was she ready to see the fight as vividly as it had happened? Was she ready to face the Dark Side the way he had through the same experience? Was she ready to feel every back-breaking emotion he felt when he faced the Sith Champion alone?

Nope.

She chose the baby tooth to the Nexu and began focusing upon it. A slight smile appeared on his face as he watched her slowly but surely get the just of how the ability worked. For this lesson to work, she needed to clearly explain the memory that belonged to the animal.

It was a cub growing up with two other siblings, taken care of by one very monstrously sized mother. Nyx needed to explain the event that was happening, not just the emotion- It was feeding time and the mother had dropped a huge chunk of meat for the strange family to feast upon, but when the Nexu got to a specific bone, one of it's siblings had grabbed the other end, and they began play fighting with the original Nexu being the victor, but at the loss of it's baby canine tooth.

"Good. You're catching on quickly- not surprised. Now...look deeper. It's not a tooth- it's a tool. It used to be a living tool, apart of a living thing, that had a living family. Feel it. See it." He instructed blatantly. Those were the instructions that had been given to him- Feeling the emotion, and then seeing what had given the emotion. It was a very valuable and important technique. You could learn the history of a forgotten civilization of the, once mighty and now petty, Zeffo, from what you thought was just a simple rock. You could uncover the secrets of Order 66 by touching a centuries old rusted piece of metal that you wouldn't have known that it belonged to the same Venator Star Destroyer that the infamous EX-Jedi Commander Ahsoka Tano and clone trooper Captain Rex had fled from.

All of these things could be seen by feeling the emotions and searching them for their origin. Thoroughly feeling and thoroughly seeing. "Don't focus on what animal it is- that doesn't matter. See the event and recite to me like you, yourself, just lived through the experience."

@Pam0wl

 

[Nyx Otsana]

Feeling confident, Nyx decided she could delve deeper. Closing her eyes, she tried to focus on nothing else but the tooth in her hand. At first, it was difficult; rich in the Force, the planet’s jungle was teeming with life, tuning it out wasn’t an easy feat. Every little thing was a distraction, from the soaring whisper birds to the treads of runyips. Even Severus’ presence was an obstacle, his signature like a beacon within the Force itself. This is why Nyx avoided meditation sessions. Yes, she was able to deepen her connection, but sometimes it was just too much, especially given the Kiffar’s natural sensitivity.

The elders…I remember them saying something about this. When it gets too much just...breathe...

Exhaling deeply, Nyx pictured the jungle vanishing from sight. The trees receded, along with the swampy earth. Next fell away all the structures, temple or otherwise, and lastly, Severus and the rest of life around her.

In this fictitious void, there was only Nyx and the tooth.

The emptiness didn’t last, however. The silence was interrupted by something. It sounded like...purring? And it was coming from her! Opening her eyes, Nyx was no longer Nyx. Through her mind’s eye, she had become some sort of beast. She knew this because the eyes she looked through were not that of her own, they were that of a nexu. Apparently, the predator species had two sets of eyes, and experiencing them was incredibly disorientating. And yet, Nyx quickly grew accustomed to it, almost as if it were the most natural thing to her. She wasn’t alone either. In a wide, open pasture, there was another cub, just like her, barreling at her in play.

Brother...

The thought shocked her. She recognized this cub as her own kin. A littermate. How strange. Was this the effect of retrospection? Was its influence meant to be this strong? All previous experiences were so harrowing, yet this seemed so innocent. So playful.

So immersed in the experience, Nyx almost forgot it wasn’t real. She frolicked in the pasture, like any wild beast, till an aroma hit her. Food. Their mother had returned with food, a large dismembered limb of some sorts, from some unrecognizable prey. Nyx, compelled by ravenous hunger, moved in ready to devour the entire thing. She had the meaty chunk, within her toothy when suddenly... YANK!

The padawan flinched and gave a hearty cry. She felt it, felt the pain of a fang tugged loose. It felt so real, her hand reached up to inspect her own mouth. To her relief, and surprise, her teeth were all in their usual place, and she no longer occupied the animal’s memory. She was back in her own body, on Yavin IV with an awaiting Severus.

“I saw it…” She both looked and sounded dumbstruck, though her facial garb hid most of her expression. Still, there was no hiding her bewilderment, her eyes wide as she relaid the memory, “I was a cub. With a brother, and, and we were eating. He snatched the meat! Then my tooth...no, its tooth…”

She trailed off before growing completely quiet. Fatigue had hit her. Was that normal? Or had she delved too deeply? Growing unsteady, she lowered herself down, taking a moment to regain her strength. “It is always this...tiring?”

@Charles

 

[Severus Creed]

Severus raised an eyebrow in surprise- she was really catching on quite fast. "Emotionally...sometimes. It shouldn't be draining at all, really, but it can strain you if there's too much for you to handle. Practice will help you become more attune to the process and it will be less intense. Speaking of which..." He used the force to bring the tooth into his hand and then he offered his lightsaber.

It was going to be much more intense than the tooth. The tooth was practice for actually using psychometry and now that she understood the basics, she needed to know how to handle the emotional toll it can take if not prepared when using it. His saber would show the fight with the Sith Champion, Rha'go Dominus, on the Battle of Taris. It was going to be grueling for her if she hadn't experienced the Dark Side yet as he had. Severus could almost feel the pull to use the caged monster inside him as he thought of the fight.

"This one will be much harder to handle. Now that you understand how Force Echoes work, you will need to understand how to manage the emotions that you'll be flooded with. Think like a...needle through water. Let the darkness pass around you but press forward undeterred by the current." He explained briefly before handing her Severus's beloved tool, weapon, and companion. If it looked like she was struggling, Sev was prepared to pull the saber from her with the Force as he did with the tooth. However, if she failed, he was going to have her do it again and again until she got this right.

If there was a murder and only the weapon was found from the scene, one could use the ability to solve the crime- but you needed to be able to push through the dark emotions and vile intent that would pulse from the memory like a grenade going off in your head. You needed to be able to let it pass over you and not through you. "This will be much harder. So...good luck."

@Pam0wl

 

[Nyx Otsana]

"No..."

Nyx refused. She simply refused. Though reserved, the Kiffar could, at times, be read as easily as an open book. She had grown tense, intent on disengaging from the situation. It was a common response for those with trauma, as Severus himself might know. The averting gaze, the closed of body language, and if that wasn't enough, the very aura around Nyx just became grey and diminished. Survival instincts were taking hold of her, just as they had done previously. She was, quite literally, trying to make herself 'small'. Her presence in the force became weaker and weaker, till all that remained was a tiny trickle. Nothing at all like it was before.

She didn't need to 'read' the saber to know of its past. There was a taint to it, one that Severus seemed to live with. Why? Why cling to something like that? It didn't make sense. Though Nyx couldn't yet decipher the actual events, the truth of the matter remained; that saber had touched the dark side, and interacting with it would therefore mean she'd experience the same. Just the thought made her anxious. Air left her lungs, and for a moment she couldn't even breathe. The specter of fear had taken ahold of her.

"Not again...I won't go through that again." It was a slip of the tongue, a minor one, spoke more to herself than anyone else.

Leave. She had to leave.

"We're done." Nyx decided, "Your lesson, it helped. Really. But I think I can manage now on my own." Though she spoke with some finality, there was no presence to her, even now, her gaze had become glassy.

She was doing it again, shutting herself off. It was like a learned response, her body acting on impulse rather than thought. This lack of fortitude is what concerned the masters most, especially as Nyx was unwilling to challenge it. All that mattered right now was leaving the situation, rude as it may be. The padawan wasn't lying though. Severus' earlier instructions were straightforward and clear, none too cryptic either; she appreciated that sort of approach. No riddles or mind games, just unhindered guidance; what else could Severus help in?

Regardless, now was not the time to find out. Nyx turned to leave, believing she was free to do so. And why not? Many had been lenient with her already, being understanding of her sensitivity. Did she take advantage of this? Admittedly, yes. And because of this, Nyx had developed some bad habits; she routinely avoided meditation sessions, instead opting for physical training instead. Despite being older than most of her peers, Nyx was childish in her approach to discomfort. If she didn't like something, she chose to avoid it, much like now, at this very moment.

 

[Severus Creed]

"Pathetic." Severus muttered, rolling his eyes as the fellow Padawan stood up to leave.

He gripped his lightsaber hilt through the Force, activating the blade and sending it spinning in front of her where it stopped, the orange blade pointing to the sky in front of her path so she had no choice but to stop. Well, she could've simply walked around it, but the small theatrics Severus used would've gotten her to at least think about what she was doing.

Severus didn't even turn to face Nyx and chuckled a bit. "Are you this fragile? Or is the whole 'Masked-Mystery' thing just a big façade? Do you realize who you are, Nyx Otsana?" He asked, closing his eyes so he could better focus on his lightsaber that still hovered in front of her.

"You...are a Jedi." He stated blatantly. "You made a promise to stand against the Dark Side- unless you're just a freeloader who lives on Yavin IV to run away from the pending war. The Sith are real, Padawan Otsana. As real as the lightsaber in front of you. Will you simply walk away and hope someone else deals with threat if they decide to march on our front doors?" He challenged, every word dripping with venom.

Severus was quite intrigued by the amount of Padawans that had Post Traumatic Stress but didn't know how to cope with it. Was he seriously the only teenager here who understood how to live on? Sure, he kept his past mostly hidden, but that was because he didn't trust other teenagers to keep secrets that he thought were quite embarrassing. Still, he did his best to not just try and forget his past, but to learn from it and move forward enlightened and a greater Jedi than he once was.

Severus chuckled at a sudden thought of realization; This was what the masters had intended the lesson to truly be about.
Long-Suffering.
Enduring to the end, whether it was during a lightsaber fight with a Lord of the Sith or a memory of such a fight. Nyx needed this lesson more than Severus had originally thought she did.

"You are afraid. That's okay, I think. I've been afraid my whole life, actually. Not of the Dark Side, but of the monster that comes with it. But now...It's different somehow. I don't let that fear control my actions or thoughts. I bridle it with self-discipline and get my shit together because one day I will have to fight the Dark Side again, and when that day comes...not if that day comes...I need to be prepared to do what's necessary for the Jedi Order- for you and the masters that instructed us to meet." He said, a little less intense and cold than how he started.

For Jacata, and Elidan, and Master Voran...and Clove. That last thought filled him with an overwhelming sense of determination yet...peace. That beautiful Half-Sephi had no idea about his feelings of deep felt admiration, but hopefully there would be a day for him to show it through action and not words.

But for now, he needed to focus back on Nyx and her lesson. "You are not a coward, Nyx. But you don't need to prove that to me- you need to prove that to yourself, or you'll never make it as a Jedi. You'll get someone killed or worse, and you don't need that added stress on top of what you already fear. The past is just the past...so move forward. Or stay in the mud. I don't care." He opened his eyes, craning her neck to look at the older Padawan, deactivating his lightsaber and gently bringing it into her hands. "But I think you do."

@Pam0wl