- Joined
- Aug 10, 2009
- Messages
- 2,528
- Reaction score
- 55
Decades on.
PERSONAL LOG: ENTRY: 6492
It’s raining outside. Rain on Rhen Var, who’d have thought it possible... Certainly not me. In my younger years I would have taken little notice, consumed with burning passion as I was. It’s an irony of the universe that we spend our days rushing through everything when we’re young as if we have no time, only to slow down and enjoy the journey once we have little of it left. I was such a fool.
The Great Destroyer. Nothing. Shade. Edahs. I gave myself so many names, and did a great many things with each of them. I am ashamed of some, they were atrocities that had no right to exist. Others were admirable. Some even awe inspiring, or so I like to think. I never lost my belief in Nothing, it fuelled my every breath. It was the voice in my head at times, telling me to commit the acts my heart so screamed against. It was the blade in my hand at others. I’ve made the Jedi rue the day I ran away from them a thousand times, and given them hope a thousand more. It has been a dangerous game... One that I was destined to lose.
Everybody does.
I came so close. It rankles that I failed, even decades on. It wasn’t even out of my hands, I could have made my dream a reality in one glorious moment... But it was not to be. I was weak when I left the Jedi, weak when I wandered and weak when I decided to take to the Galactic stage. It is here and now that I feel strongest, which is ironic. I failed in the moment of my triumph and diminished, like a firework in the rain. I fled like a coward and have remained here since. I have had time to think in the long hours of the night.
Time to think about all those I killed, all those I saved and those few I loved. I will miss those that still live, and probably never again see the dead. If there is an afterlife I am destined to one so full of suffering I have no doubt I will be isolated and alone for eternity. If not... I may yet see Belial and the others one more time. Even now I can hope.
I wonder how the galaxy will cope without me. I kept her in check, I pruned the parts that were unworthy of life... I don’t know of any who will continue the work in my stead. No one would want this life, it’s hell. Regardless, I have left clues in the off-chance that one does eventually step up. Should they follow them to their conclusion they will be led here, and they will take up my mantle, should they wish to. It is, I think, optimism to assume that anyone will ever sink to my level of thought again. Time will tell.
It doesn’t matter any more, anyway. I have set my affairs in order, and that’s an end to it. I know what the future holds for me, but for my family it is unreadable… There are a great many things that could happen tomorrow. I hope the word is spread throughout the ages, but it is likely it will fade along with me. There will be no legacy for the Destroyer. I was only ever Nothing.
It ends here.
END LOG: CAUTION: LOG FULL
A data pad fell from cold withered fingers, clattering onto a frosty stone floor. Memories pulsated through a brain at a speed long forgotten by age: The Fool, Death, Dread, countless others all spinning through time in a waltz that had to be joined. A Master appeared before delirious eyes, hand outstretched in friendship. The shadows lengthened, the room grew colder. Someone smiled.
He took the hand. Peace.
“It was a dark place in which the Destroyer of all went to his final rest, a place full of magnificent splendour and beauty. It was a place He built with His own hands as a final proof of His divinity that all among His flock should remember. He was and is our example, and we live by His Creed.”
All: “Hallowed be his name. Law is His Creed.”
“It falls to us to spread the word, to bring about the End of Ends. He has created us in His image so that we might follow in His footsteps, that we might become Nothing ourselves. We must linger, although He passed on to greater things.”
All: “We are Nothing.”
“It is told to us by She Who Predicts that the day His resting place is discovered all will fade to Nothing. Events will be set in motion that will lead to the End of Ends, the Destruction of all. His tomb is not for the unworthy to find, we must keep its secret between us few until the Next One steps forward. They will become Him reborn, a second coming.”
All: “We keep the flame, awaiting the End of Ends.”
“Be at peace, brethren. Be with Nothing.”
ALL: “Amen.”
++++
++++
++++
PERSONAL LOG: ENTRY: 6492
It’s raining outside. Rain on Rhen Var, who’d have thought it possible... Certainly not me. In my younger years I would have taken little notice, consumed with burning passion as I was. It’s an irony of the universe that we spend our days rushing through everything when we’re young as if we have no time, only to slow down and enjoy the journey once we have little of it left. I was such a fool.
The Great Destroyer. Nothing. Shade. Edahs. I gave myself so many names, and did a great many things with each of them. I am ashamed of some, they were atrocities that had no right to exist. Others were admirable. Some even awe inspiring, or so I like to think. I never lost my belief in Nothing, it fuelled my every breath. It was the voice in my head at times, telling me to commit the acts my heart so screamed against. It was the blade in my hand at others. I’ve made the Jedi rue the day I ran away from them a thousand times, and given them hope a thousand more. It has been a dangerous game... One that I was destined to lose.
Everybody does.
I came so close. It rankles that I failed, even decades on. It wasn’t even out of my hands, I could have made my dream a reality in one glorious moment... But it was not to be. I was weak when I left the Jedi, weak when I wandered and weak when I decided to take to the Galactic stage. It is here and now that I feel strongest, which is ironic. I failed in the moment of my triumph and diminished, like a firework in the rain. I fled like a coward and have remained here since. I have had time to think in the long hours of the night.
Time to think about all those I killed, all those I saved and those few I loved. I will miss those that still live, and probably never again see the dead. If there is an afterlife I am destined to one so full of suffering I have no doubt I will be isolated and alone for eternity. If not... I may yet see Belial and the others one more time. Even now I can hope.
I wonder how the galaxy will cope without me. I kept her in check, I pruned the parts that were unworthy of life... I don’t know of any who will continue the work in my stead. No one would want this life, it’s hell. Regardless, I have left clues in the off-chance that one does eventually step up. Should they follow them to their conclusion they will be led here, and they will take up my mantle, should they wish to. It is, I think, optimism to assume that anyone will ever sink to my level of thought again. Time will tell.
It doesn’t matter any more, anyway. I have set my affairs in order, and that’s an end to it. I know what the future holds for me, but for my family it is unreadable… There are a great many things that could happen tomorrow. I hope the word is spread throughout the ages, but it is likely it will fade along with me. There will be no legacy for the Destroyer. I was only ever Nothing.
It ends here.
END LOG: CAUTION: LOG FULL
A data pad fell from cold withered fingers, clattering onto a frosty stone floor. Memories pulsated through a brain at a speed long forgotten by age: The Fool, Death, Dread, countless others all spinning through time in a waltz that had to be joined. A Master appeared before delirious eyes, hand outstretched in friendship. The shadows lengthened, the room grew colder. Someone smiled.
He took the hand. Peace.
++++
++++
++++
“It was a dark place in which the Destroyer of all went to his final rest, a place full of magnificent splendour and beauty. It was a place He built with His own hands as a final proof of His divinity that all among His flock should remember. He was and is our example, and we live by His Creed.”
All: “Hallowed be his name. Law is His Creed.”
“It falls to us to spread the word, to bring about the End of Ends. He has created us in His image so that we might follow in His footsteps, that we might become Nothing ourselves. We must linger, although He passed on to greater things.”
All: “We are Nothing.”
“It is told to us by She Who Predicts that the day His resting place is discovered all will fade to Nothing. Events will be set in motion that will lead to the End of Ends, the Destruction of all. His tomb is not for the unworthy to find, we must keep its secret between us few until the Next One steps forward. They will become Him reborn, a second coming.”
All: “We keep the flame, awaiting the End of Ends.”
“Be at peace, brethren. Be with Nothing.”
ALL: “Amen.”
The Tome, book fourteen, chapter thirty-eight, excerpt nine.
Last edited by a moderator: