Ask Breaking the Ice

[Ashla Ti]

Somewhere, Mygeeto​

Stepping out of the ship that had dropped her off at the co-ordinates she had received, Ashla stopped halfway down the ramp as the cold breeze hit her. Even wrapped in the fur lined cloak the pilot had handed to her before dropping her off, she could feel the chill begin to sink in as she stepped off the ramp onto the snow covered ground. A cloud of snow rose all around her as the shuttle took off, leaving the acolyte all alone, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. As the wind finally blew away the snow enough to allow her to see more than a foot in front of her, she realized she didn't have any idea where she was, nor could she see any landmark around her that might help her get some sense of where she was supposed to go.

"Alright," she muttered through lips that were already beginning to dry up, wishing the pilot had offered her a chapstick as well, "definitely not Moraband." Her last encounter with a Sith Lord had been on the ruined Sith world, the heat of the desert a stark contrast to the icy world she now found herself on. There was something about the planet, it did not flow with the Dark Side like Moraband had, but there was definitely something there, echoes in the Force that seemed to resonate just beyond the edge of her perception. The cold was making it hard to focus, to think about anything other than the numbness that threatened to consume her.

But then she hadn't really expected a walk in the park. Squaring her shoulders, she wrapped her arms around herself, bowed her head to keep the wind out of her face, picked a direction at random, and began walking. There was a reason she was here, and she wasn't going to find out what it was by just standing around.

@Sreeya

 

[The Storyteller]

As Ashla kept walking, she would come across a figure in the distance. This figure appeared to be a woman, and she was tightly hugging herself. She was shivering in the cold as she looked at Ashla.

“Thank god!” She said through chattering teeth, “My crew and I crash landed nearby! Can you help us?! We are in dire need of assistance!” The woman looked desperate and on the verge of tears. She was human, her eyes pleading with Ashla for help. There was a snowstorm approaching and it was clear this would detract from the forward path the acolyte was given.

The woman was adorned in a very long dress and a fur coat to cover her. She certainly didn’t look as if she could be from the planet, but then again neither was Ashla.

@Wit

 

[Ashla Ti]

Ashla wasn't really a downer by nature, neither was she overly bubbly, but the cold was definitely begining to bring her spirits down. She had been excited about this, receiving a summons from Lord Raze more than made up for the uncertainty regarding where she was going. But she had not been prepared for the cold. She had always been happy to not have to worry about having hair, but in that moment she suddenly found herself contemplating how nice it would be to have thick locks of hair covering her head and montrals, keeping her a little more warm. How comfortable Wookiees must be.

It was this deep introspection that was disturbed by the arrival of the woman asking for her help. Ashla didn't know where she was, but from what she had sensed earlier and the simple reason that she had been brought here, that had to be a reason for her being here. And she had heard more than enough stories to know not to keep a Sith Lord waiting, even if she did not know this one well enough to know if that was the case. Best to err on the side of caution.

"What do you expect me to do?" She answered, stopping for a moment to speak to the woman, taking note of her clothing and wondering why someone from her crew wasn't here asking for help instead. "You and your crew would be better served staying in your ship, burning what you can, and waiting that out." She gestured with a tilt of her head towards the sandstorm that was slowly approaching in the distance. Heading straight for them, and according to Ashla's gut coming right from from the direction where she was headed. Maybe she could help herself by helping this woman and finding shelter in her ship.

"How far is your ship?"

@Sreeya

 

[The Storyteller]

The woman looked taken aback by the response from the acolyte. Her eyes were wide in shock, “We are not from here… One of us is badly injured so I came out here in desperation. We don’t know this place at all,” The woman was wiping at her face, sniffling, “We are just nearby, it won’t be any trouble!”

She perked up slightly at Ashla asking where they were. Her eyes widened and she nodded enthusiastically, “Just this way!” The woman turned and began to shuffle through the snow towards the location of the ship, “Hurry! We want to avoid the storm!”

If Ashla followed, she would follow the woman towards more open space where visibility was poor. After a while, she would be able to make out the outline of a shape in the distance. She had the option to keep going or turn back.

“Just up ahead!” The woman called back hopefully.

@Wit

 

[Ashla Ti]

Ashla wondered if the woman would be desperate for her help if she knew the Togruta knew just as little about this place as she did, but sharing that piece of information with her would serve no purpose so the acolyte said nothing.

Giving one last glance towards the storm, she would begin moving after the woman, letting her lead the way till she could finally just about make out the outline of something, which she assumed was the downed ship. As the woman looked back at her, Ashla gave her a nod, but the moment she turned back Ashla darted off to the side. She knew that there was not much chance that this was a trap, but her years of training had beaten a sense of paranoia into her, and if this was a trap then approaching behind the woman might be just what they expected. If there even was a they.

Still, being cautious she would circle around to the left, taking a slightly arcing path to approach what she assumed was the ship from a different direction than the woman. Her hand slipping under her cloak to pull out her blaster, best not to reveal who she was by brandishing a lightsaber, she walked on till things starting coming into focus.

@Sreeya

 

[The Storyteller]

Ashla would come upon what looked like the wreckage of an old ship. It barely looked like it could fly, and it had crash landed on the surface of the planet. She would be able to make out a few figures. The woman from earlier ushered Ashla closer to the site. She was led towards a man that was laying on the ground with burns on his arms.

“Can you help him?” The woman asked.

If Ashla peered closer, she would see the man had a familiar tattoo on the side of his neck. There was another man and woman at the site, both of them sporting similar tattoos. The man was a twi’lek, the woman was a pantoran.

@Wit

 

[Ashla Ti]

Ashla gave the ship a momentary glance before making her way to the man on the ground, kneeling besides him more out of politeness and curiosity than any genuine need to see if she could help him. She already knew the answer to that question, she was no healer, maybe with a proper field medical kit she could have done something, but out in the middle of nowhere with nothing on hand she was helpless.

But when she did look at him she was glad that she did, because she noticed something she had not hoped to find. Her eyes were glued to the tattoo, and immediately her mind was transported to a moment over two years ago, her sister lying in her arms, bleeding out from a wound she could not fix. Cradling her frail figure till she was still, drawing her hand over her lifeless eyes, fingers lingering over the small tattoo under her eye. The same tattoo as she saw on the man's neck, and as she looked up, the same tattoo as on two others present there. Her left hand instinctively went to her right wrist, gripping tightly, hiding the very same tattoo that marked her own skin. Her mouth opened, eager to greet them, to tell them she knew, to offer whatever help she could. But then her training took over, if they were here they might be on a mission, and she could easily blow their cover.

"We should move him into cover," Her eyes moved from the man with the tattoo to the Twi'lek, and stayed there as she slowly got to her feet, completely ignoring the woman who had brought her here, "behind the ship, it will provide some protection from the winds." Suddenly it wasn't a simple matter of getting sanctuary from the storm, now she had a reason to offer help.

If they agreed she would help move the injured man as thoughts ran through her mind, remembering the ball on Serenno. Greeting Lord Raze, his eyes lingering on her wrist, a look of something on his face. Did he know? Was this why he had brought her here? Left with more questions than answers, she turned her focus to questions she could find answers to. As she helped move the man, she would lean in close to the Twi'lek and whisper in a voice too soft for anyone else to hear.

"What business does the Cadre have here?"

@Sreeya

 

[The Storyteller]

The man recoiled slightly from her touch when she went to help him. His eyes were slightly wide as he gazed at Ashla.

“Cadre has business everywhere, does it not?” The woman that originally brought Ashla over asked, overhearing the whisper. The twi’lek eyed Ashla for a moment.

“You are one of us, we are your kin,” The woman smiled, “You will save us all, won’t you?”

They began to move the injured man, but they wouldn’t let Ashla near him. They began to move towards the back of the ship, the snowstorm picking up speed. The twi’lek kept glancing at Ashla.

“The Cadre exists everywhere. Our brethren is forever. We were sent to recruit more to our cause,” The twi’lek smiled at Ashla, “It is good you believe in the cause. The cause is what drives us and gives us purpose. It puts us on a path and shapes our destiny. It was that destiny that led you here today. Do you feel it?”

@Wit

 

[Ashla Ti]

The way the man pulled away from her, how the others kept her from approaching him as he was moved, and just a general sense of unease that she got from the group, made Ashla wonder what they were hiding from her. If not for that she might have fallen in line with them, despite the betrayal she had felt at the hands of her own cadre master. But it was enough to break the hold the past was trying to take on her, and let the sense of paranoia that had kept her alive for so long take hold.

As the group moved towards the back of the ship, Ashla tapped into the Force, trying to be as subtle as she could, and grabbed hold of a piece of equipment that was lying on the floor. As they went deeper into the ship, she kept hold of it, till they were out of sight, at which point she slammed it into the ship as hard as she dared.

The noise drew everyone's attention, and Ashla followed suit by acting surprised by the sound. Unlike the howling of the storm that came from outside the wrecked ship, this had clearly been from within the ship. "Everyone stay here," she said before pointing at the Twi'lek and gesturing for her to follow as she began walking back towards the source of the sound, "you're with me."

If the Twi'lek complied Ashla would lead her back towards the hole in the ship they had entered from, and once there come to a stop, acting like she was investigating their surroundings, before suddenly darting towards the Twi'lek and slamming her hand over her mouth. At the same time her other hand pulled out her lightsaber from within her cloak and pressed the unlit blade against the Twi'lek's side.

"Scream, or call to anyone and I cut you down right here. Explain what you're doing here, and nothing else. Understood?"

If the Twi'lek seemed to comply Ashla would slowly lift her hand from her mouth, ready to slam it back in place or cut her down if the Twi'lek resisted.

@Sreeya

 

[The Storyteller]

The twi’lek appeared unfazed by Ashla’s actions. On the contrary, as soon as she removed her hand from the woman’s mouth, the twi’lek smiled. For a moment, the twi’lek’s face flashed to reflect Ashla’s Cadre sister.

“Are you going to watch me die again?” The voice echoed as Ashla would be left wondering if she had misheard or if it were a trick of the light. The twi’lek was back in front of her, staring at her quietly with eyes slightly wide. Ashla’s mind would be assailed by the days she saw the deaths of her Cadre kin. She would see the twi’lek’s face splattered with blood.

In the distance behind her, she would hear humming and soft singing. Ashla would recognize it as a a song one of her Cadre sisters used to think. One that had died when they were still very young. One that had been one of Ashla’s first 'friends'.

“Are you going to watch me die again?” The soft voice echoed, the voice of a child that came from the very adult woman that had led her to the ship. But Ashla had stepped in and suddenly there were no doors in sight. The hole they crawled in through no longer existed.

“Are you going to watch me die again?”

She would stand amidst it all, the last one standing. She would feel the weight of her choices.

@Wit

 

[Ashla Ti]

"Are you going to watch me die again?"

Ashla blinked, instinctively pulling back from the Twi'lek, wondering if she had seen what she thought she had. As images flashed before her eyes, Ashla let go of the Twi'lek as her vision cleared to find blood spattered across the Twi'lek's face. She took a step back, but then the humming reached her and she stopped, recognition freezing her where she stood.

"Are you going to watch me die again?"

The Togruta's eyes widened as she tried to make sense of what she saw and what she heard, body whipping around as she desperately searched for a way out, a way to get away from the words, the singing, the blood. But there was no way out, and in desperation her blade sprang to life in her hand, but the words kept coming as it passed through empty air as she was left alone.

"Are you going to watch me die again?"

Fear gnawed at her, as did guilt, and regret, and a whole wave of emotions that she could not control. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind she knew this was not real, not true. But the words echoing around her wouldn't let her realize that, and she fell to her knees as they overwhelmed her, letting her blade fizzle away. She knew she had to find out what was happening, but she couldn't focus, couldn't clear her mind.

So she did the one thing she could do. Slowly, clumsily, she removed the glove that covered her right hand and slammed the still hot tip of her unlit lightsaber hilt into her palm. Hot, shearing pain pierced through her psyche, and for a moment it cleared her mind, and in that moment she grabbed the pain, and let it bring her focus, to push away everything else. It was clumsy, and someone else could have thought of a better way to get out of whatever trick she had fallen into, but it was the best she could do, and hopefully it was enough.

As her mind cleared she looked up, back towards where the Twi'lek had been, unsure of whether she would find her there or just empty air. "Stay out of my head!" She curled her right hand into a fist, bringing forth more pain, pain that she latched onto as she got back to her feet.

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

“But you are the one that let me in,” A deep, modulated voice responded to Ashla’s shout.

When she opened her eyes, she would realize none of the figures she saw earlier were there. The ship was old and had been abandoned for centuries. The storms raged outside, but there was a single figure standing before her. She would recognize it immediately as Raze.

The tall Sith Lord stood in silence for a moment, adorned in his trademark armor. His visor was tilted in the direction of her palm which still had the lingering redness of a burn in it. Pain was a rare anchor others used, and it had been his own method of anchoring. To see it from an acolyte was interesting, and it made him curious enough to stop playing the game.

“Your duty was to find me, acolyte,” The voice cut in harshly. The Force coiled around her and she was maneuvered to stand up straight, spine aligned, chin high, gaze meeting the visor.

“The Cadre was a means to an end,” He said icily, “You were the end result. You take what you can from it, and you leave the rest behind.”

@Wit

 

[Ashla Ti]

Ashla had near about jumped out of her skin on hearing the voice, one that she hadn't expected, one she knew, and one that she had no doubt was real. As her eyes fell on none other than Darth Raze himself. for a moment her heart was gripped by a pang of longing, wanting to hear that song one last time, at whatever cost it might have been. But that thought didn't linger as the Sith Lord spoke once more and she felt the Force coil around her as she got back to her feet.

His voice, the icy severity behind it, scared her, making her wonder if she had failed a test she hadn't even known she was taking. With the moment behind her, she was glad to have had the opportunity to hear those voices again, even if they had only been in her mind. But at the same time she realized that if it had all been Raze, and that she had shown him much more of herself than she had ever intended to show anyone. Her past was her shame, and now he knew.

"The pain is all that is left to me." She replied after a moment, glancing at her palm, and at the mark hidden below her sleeve. "The pain of my failures, my mistakes, the lies I lived, they drive me. How do I know what to leave behind?" She hesitated, but he had seen what she feared, and what was there to hide from him. "What if there is nothing left, what if that is all I ever was."

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

The Sith Lord was silent as she spoke. If there was sympathy or acknowledgement of any kind, none of it manifested. A few moments of silence lingered after she was done speaking. There was nothing but the sound of the howling winds outside. Without warning, the Force coiled around her bodily and she was hoisted up into the air. She was then slammed back against the opposite wall of the ship across from him, pinned near the ceiling. She didn’t feel a pressure around her throat, but she would feel the Force coiling around her entire torso. It felt as if a speeder were slowly rolling over her.

“Is that so?” The modulated voice queried, “Is that all you are?” He strode towards her, “And you thought that by seeking me out I would fashion for you an identity? A sense of purpose? Because you are too worthless to find meaning beyond the guilt of your sad little upbringing?” He released her abruptly, which would cause her to fall into a heap on the ground.

“Your survival was no accident, acolyte,” He spat the words out, “Just like mine wasn’t. The lies, the deaths of your brothers and sisters, all of it shaped us. All of it prepared us. To survive.”

The Sith Lord crossed his arms over his chest, “Your guilt clouded your judgment. You strayed instead of coming to me as I commanded,” He looked out through the hole in the ship and towards the storm outside, “Once the storm passes, you will be scaling the mountain in the distance to find a cave at the cliff near the summit," There was a pause before he continued, "I would have teleported us had you come to me directly," Even through the mask the fact that he was grinning was abundantly clear in the tone.

@Wit

 

[Ashla Ti]

As Ashla made her way up the mountain, feeling the cold bitting into her skin even through her cloak, her mind was still on what had transpired in the ship not too long ago. His words brought shame, guilt, and more than a little anger. But at the time she had clamped down on it, focusing once more on the pain to clear her mind, to keep herself from saying something that she might regret. As she had started her ascent, the cold biting into her had help latched onto the pain, and she had used it to drive her as she trudged up the mountain. But where it had first brought pain, the cold soon washed it away, numbing her body to it. The burn on her palm, the pain of slamming her elbow after she had fallen from the ceiling, it was all gone. All that was left was the pain of her loss, of what he had made her see.

But soon enough anger had taken its place. Anger at herself for having failed, failing to save her kin, failing at his test. Anger at him for testing her in the manner he had, anger at him for making her climb up this mountain, and most fresh was the anger she felt against him for taking joy in making her endure this hell. But most of all she felt anger at the bloody mountain for being there in the first place.

But by the time she neared the top, the anger was also gone, having slowly mellowed out as she had worked through it all. In some corner of her mind she had always known his words to be true, she had survived. Maybe it was because no one else had, or maybe because she hadn't made the mistakes others had, but survive she had. And even though she had finally consciously acknowledged that truth, she still hadn't pushed away the guilt that came with it. But it was a step in the right direction. And that was all she could hope for, to keep on taking the next step, to keep moving forward.

It was a few hours later that she finally pulled herself up one last ledge, and collapsed onto the snow with a sigh of relief as her eyes fell on a cave. Taking a few moments to catch her breath, she ultimately pushed herself back to her feet, and made her way into the cave. More sensing him than seeing, she dropped to a knee and bowed her head.

"My Lord."

Despite her exhaustion, and the hint of frost bite that she thought she felt on the tips of her fingers and montrals, there was a certainty to her voice that hadn't been there before the ascent. She hadn't unlocked every puzzle that her mind had in store for her, but she had acknowledged them, and even that small victory had brought about some change in the young acolyte.

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

The cave was cool and illuminated with the reflective light of the ice and crystals within it. It was a sight to behold. The pristine image was slightly ruined by the presence of Raze, who was seated and meditating in his intimidating armor. As Ashla huffed and puffed her way in, the Sith Lord remained silent, withdrawn into the recesses of his mind. He was here for hours, and he found the environment oddly comforting despite the chill.

A few seconds passed before he finally moved, the visor turning to face Ashla, “If you were so concerned with saving the lives of others,” The modulated voice spoke quietly, “Why did you not seek out the Jedi in the past?” He always wanted to understand the reasoning a Sith had for despising Jedi. It informed him of what they knew and their line of thinking. Both were critical to defining how he would teach.

@Wit

 

[Ashla Ti]

Breath still labored and ragged, Ashla took a few moments to catch her breath as she pondered the question. She was quiet for a while, thinking on the answer. She had heard others talk about their hatred for the Jedi, for one reason or another, some simple, some more convoluted than a Catharese Love Knot, whatever that was. And though her thoughts had wandered this way on occasion, she had never put it to words. Never shared it with anyone.

"I was kidnapped when I was four years old, stolen from I don't know where by slavers who sold me to my first Master. Zygerrian slavers, part of the mighty Zygerrian Slave Empire." A soft, condescending grunt escaped her lips, her feelings for the Zyegrrians momentarily getting the better of her. "The Jedi claim to respect life, and yet slavery runs rampant across the Galaxy. Even the great Anakin Skywalker was a slave on Tatooine. And what did he do about the Hutt overlords who enslaved him? Nothing, because revenge was not the Jedi way." The strain of the climb, kneeling on the cold floor started, along with racking up old memories made her feel more tired than she had fought, and it made her forget where she was as she shuffled from her kneeled position to drop to the floor, settling down in a cross-legged meditative position as well before continuing, eyes locked on the floor before her.

"I wondered about that, why men like the Zygerrian lordling who stole my life from me are allowed to live, yet those I cared for died. One answer was simple, I wasn't strong enough to save those I loved. And I do want to protect them, those I care for, those who mean something to me. And at the same time I want to rid the Galaxy of scum like those slavers, like my own Master who bought me and my Cadre-kin for loose change. But the Jedi fear such thoughts. They say they are above fear, but they fear their very emotions. They love but don't want that love to drive them. They want to protect but not at the expense of their own moral code. Sometimes you have to make the hard choices to do what is right, and the Jedi cannot do that. Maybe that was the answer, I wasn't strong enough, but neither were the Jedi. And sure, the Sith might not be perfect, but the way I see it they're hell of a lot better than the Jedi."

She finally raised her eyes to look at the armored figure before her, a small sad smile on her face. "Who says Sith can't protect lives, maybe we're just willing to pay the price, no matter who steep. Besides, I doubt the Jedi would have approved of me hunting down my Master and killing him."

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc was silent as she spoke, the mask as cold and frosty as his tone. He patiently heard the entire story and all the nuances. He watched her body language and studied her inflection, picking up where she was angry. Seconds passed by after she finished.

“So you believe there is more power in being a slave to your petty emotions and being caught up in vengeance than to rise above it and act fully in control?” The modulated voice asked calmly after a while, “When you are operated on by a surgeon, would you pick someone fraught with emotion at the sight of your mangled body with trembling fingers or someone with a steady hand mentally undeterred?”

It was clear the Sith Lord was largely unimpressed with her answer. He stood up then, barely fitting his full height in the cave. The visor gazed towards her still, his imposing height likely making her feel small.

“My method of teaching is closely aligned with certain Jedi principles in many ways,” He said harshly, “If you have a problem with that, feel free to climb back down and get lost.”

With that, he spun on his heel and began to venture deeper into the cave. It was her choice whether to follow or not.

@Wit

 

[Ashla Ti]

Ashla sat for a moment as Raze rose and started walking deeper into the cave. She thought on what he had said, about being a slave to her emotions. There were echoes of what little she knew about the Jedi in what he said, as he claimed were his teaching methods. But then she remembered the incident on Muunilinst with Vizim, when she had spotted the Zygerrian princeling, how the desire to cut him down then and there had almost blown the mission. She had brought herself under control for the better of the mission, and though it had been hard it had been right. The planet was now under Sith control, and it was because she had been able to put aside her desire for vengeance and do what was right.

She got to her feet, having made up her mind. All this time she had been looking for an answer, a path forward. So far he hadn't told her anything that wasn't true, not here, not on Serenno. And if she had to walk a path similar to a Jedi's to discover her own path as a Sith, then so be it. Her own fallen master had proved that there were rotten apples among the Sith, so why could there not be something worth learning from the Jedi?

She started moving after Raze, taking quick steps till she caught up with him, slowing down and keeping pace a few steps behind him. "My emotions made me who I am, brought me this far. I will not throw them away like the Jedi, but I have been a slave to them." She spoke as she walked, words soft but sincere. "I will do everything in my power to master them, to not be a slave to them. I will follow your teachings Master, whatever path they may lead me down."

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

The Sith Lord walked in silence for a while, the only sounds in the cave echoes of their footsteps. Despite his size, Emryc didn’t move like a lumbering oaf, each step practiced and measured. It was clear he always had a methodical way of moving that was trained over many years.

“The greatest weapon a Sith has is their mind,” The modulated voice spoke after a while, “It is a weapon that can turn on the Sith or be manipulated to unleash on others. However, to have clarity, the mind must be tempered and calm. When you bring a paintbrush to stroke along the canvas, do you want to pile atop a painting already smeared with colors? Or do you want the canvas to be blank to craft the picture exactly how you please?”

Emryc arrived at a ledge, the drop off beyond the ledge revealing a sea of crystals. The Sith Lord sat down on the ledge, motioning for Ashla to do the same.

“Peaceful and calm meditation is a practice of the Jedi,” He explained quietly, “True meditation. True focus. Where you slow down every part of your body and withdraw entirely into your mind.”

Emryc paused for a moment, “Open your mind to me. We will explore the sources of conflict within you,” It was not a request, but a command.

If Ashla began to meditate, nothing would happen for a while. After a few moments, she would start to see a world beginning to materialize before her. The world was crafted from her memories, so she would recognize it at once. However, she would notice movement next to her and realize the Sith Lord was right there with her. To her surprise, she would see two figures. Emryc couldn’t hide the split of his personas in the Force, but he was powerful enough to mask them both. Both Raze and Emryc appeared as tall, shadowy wraiths.

“Walk me through your chaos,” Only one of the voices said simply. One of the shadowy figures was more imposing than the other, and that one stayed silent. There was something exceptionally dark about that presence. Emryc didn’t bother explaining about the split, focusing on her instead. This was her world to navigate.

@Wit