Calgar Talon

Niner

Veteran Member
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jan 9, 2008
Messages
10,340
Reaction score
7
009STT_Chris_Hemsworth_001.jpg


NAME:
Calgar Talon
FACTION: Jedi
RANK:
SPECIES: Human
AGE: 20
GENDER: Male
HEIGHT: 6 feet tall
WEIGHT: 190
EYES: Blue
HAIR: Short blonde hair
SKIN: Fair
CREDITS: 1000
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Tribal tattoos along the right side of his body.
FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes

STRENGTH: 8/10
DEXTERITY: 7/10
CONSTITUTION: 8/10
INTELLIGENCE: 6/10
WISDOM: 6/10
CHARISMA: 8/10

FORCE POWERS:


SKILLS:
Hunting, tracking, knife fighting, skinning, sharpshooting

LIGHTSABER/SWORD FORMS:


STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:
Calgar was never the smartest of his family, but what he lacked in intelligence he makes up for in strength and toughness. He is very slow to get angry and has incredible patience and a generally likeable personality.

GEAR:
Leather pants and tunic, simple hunting rifle and hunting knife.
SHIP:
N/A

DROIDS:
N/A

PETS:
A small brown sandmouse named Blaster

PERSONALITY:
Despite having been raised as a hunter, a man who makes his living killing creatures for their skin and meat. Calgar has always had a fascination with the wonders of life. He was content to sit in the jungles and simply watch the course of nature go by, watching animals scurry about their lives and get killed by other animals living their lives. When his brother Varnius revealed his true nature it shattered Calgar’s spirit and sent him into a depressed spiral.
He is now a more sullen man though his old jovial personality still shines through at times. He is slowly recuperating from the betrayal.

BIOGRAPHY:
(Following the events of Varnius Talon’s Bigraphy: http://www.thestarwarsrp.com/forum/showthread.php?41437-Varnius-Talon)
19 year old Calgar Talon returned home from his hunting trip early due to a sprained ankle to find a police cordon around his families home. Pushing through the bystanders he was immediately assaulted by the sheer smell that emenated from the area. It was in that moment he sensed that something was deeply wrong. His head started swimming and he could barely stand up. The closer he moved to the house the more his vision blurred. When he finally reached the doorway, seemingly unaware of the police officers trying to hold him back he simply stood staring at the corpses of his sibling still hanging from the ceiling…..his twin brother was gone, fled far away now. The police were telling him that there was no way they could know where he had gone…but Calgar barely listened. All he felt was anger, a deep seated anger that started to eat at his heart, mind, and soul. Now he intends to find his brother and settle this matter….for better or worse.
KILLS:

BOUNTIES COLLECTED:

DUELING RING MATCHES:

GRAND TOURNAMENT MATCHES:

ROLE-PLAYS:
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Teynara

Jedi Healer
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jun 19, 2012
Messages
738
Reaction score
0
Hmm...not a bad start, bit I'd flesh out the story more from his point of view - you've got it as a follow on from another profile, but I'd write those events from his perspective. Start with the basics, and look at this as a completely fresh character, independent of any others. Who is he? Where was he born? What was his family like? How'd he hook up with the Jedi (since you're aiming for that faction). It'd read better, I think.
 

Niner

Veteran Member
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jan 9, 2008
Messages
10,340
Reaction score
7
Hmm...not a bad start, bit I'd flesh out the story more from his point of view - you've got it as a follow on from another profile, but I'd write those events from his perspective. Start with the basics, and look at this as a completely fresh character, independent of any others. Who is he? Where was he born? What was his family like? How'd he hook up with the Jedi (since you're aiming for that faction). It'd read better, I think.
Padme was pushing me or a quick profile so I had to skip some steps....I'll be fleshing it out a bit and hopefully roleplaying how he's picked up by the jedi.
 

Teynara

Jedi Healer
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jun 19, 2012
Messages
738
Reaction score
0
Don't let her push you around, friend. Bite back. You can do it ;)
 

Niner

Veteran Member
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jan 9, 2008
Messages
10,340
Reaction score
7
Don't let her push you around, friend. Bite back. You can do it ;)
Yeah :P I'm also just psyched to get back into the role playing around here. I just came back from a *long* hiatus and am super excited so I might have rushed things a bit with this one.
What's your opinion on the other profile though? Varnius?
 

Teynara

Jedi Healer
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jun 19, 2012
Messages
738
Reaction score
0
Better stat spread (Calgar's are higher across the board), and a very interesting, albeit morbid personality type. I would say that he needs his personality fleshing out more - fascinated by death is an interesting quirk, but it doesn't tell us about him. Quick to anger? Always cheerful? Morbid by nature? Good sense of humour? It's the little details that I usually find interesting, but that might just be me.

What I will say is that, reading that, I definitely think the two characters need a separate history - Varnius is the older brother, so his experiences would be very different to that of the younger brother. Older siblings often have more responsibility and so tend to be more sensible and thoughtful, for example (note: that's just an archetype). What effect did having an older sibling have on Calgar? How about parental deprivation, with the mother and father away for such long periods?

Just food for thought, but they both definitely have some interesting points to them :)
 

Niner

Veteran Member
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jan 9, 2008
Messages
10,340
Reaction score
7
Better stat spread (Calgar's are higher across the board), and a very interesting, albeit morbid personality type. I would say that he needs his personality fleshing out more - fascinated by death is an interesting quirk, but it doesn't tell us about him. Quick to anger? Always cheerful? Morbid by nature? Good sense of humour? It's the little details that I usually find interesting, but that might just be me.

What I will say is that, reading that, I definitely think the two characters need a separate history - Varnius is the older brother, so his experiences would be very different to that of the younger brother. Older siblings often have more responsibility and so tend to be more sensible and thoughtful, for example (note: that's just an archetype). What effect did having an older sibling have on Calgar? How about parental deprivation, with the mother and father away for such long periods?

Just food for thought, but they both definitely have some interesting points to them :)
They are twins actually. Same age born at the same time. Nearly identical. Calgar wasn't separated as much from his parents as he went with them on their hunting trips. I thought I put that in there....or maybe I'm going crazy.....
 

Teynara

Jedi Healer
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jun 19, 2012
Messages
738
Reaction score
0
Ah, see, I hadn't realised they were twins. My bad.
 

GABA

Legendary Fun Killer
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jun 17, 2008
Messages
12,716
Reaction score
2,490
So why does he want to join the Jedi Order besides Padme wanting him too? xD

Also he has a gender of 20.
 

Niner

Veteran Member
SWRP Writer
Joined
Jan 9, 2008
Messages
10,340
Reaction score
7
So why does he want to join the Jedi Order besides Padme wanting him too? xD

Also he has a gender of 20.
fixed that......

And he wants to join the Jedi order to find some modicum of inner peace, to be able to do something good and just and hopefully find his brother.
 

Padmé

niminy-piminy
SWRP Writer
Joined
May 15, 2011
Messages
10,312
Reaction score
2,037
Don't let her push you around, friend. Bite back. You can do it ;)

Afraid not- Teynara. tehehehe

Niner owes me a post in Calgar's training thread.
*cracks the whip*




So why does he want to join the Jedi Order besides Padme wanting him too? xD

Also he has a gender of 20.

*clears throat and puts on a smile*

Because it is the noble thing to do.
 
Top