Ask Yavin IV Chick in the Nest

Laeonas Tannaras

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Ah, history. Besides a bit of reading on Xim the despot and some very basic retellings of the Galactic Civil War, Laeonas' history knowledge was... lacking, to say the least. The gaps he simply managed to fill with intuition and legend-- which was why his view of empires usually amounted to them operating similarly to the gangs of his homeworld, which ruled over star systems instead of neighborhoods. The man might have been interested, but, even after all that had happened so far... the idea of being taught history by Ephiny didn't sound enjoyable.

At all.

But if she was even half as adept at teaching the academics as she was teaching him about the force, she’d still be the best teacher he’d ever had. Maybe he was disparaging her to much; he'd found her initial tendency to spit out facts he couldn't care less about annoying, but she seemed to have dropped the habit. Perhaps she was being mindful, or perhaps his lack of questioning or focus on the topic hadn't given her an opportunity to go off? Whatever it was, she'd proven to be an exceptional teacher so far-- at least, by his standards.

When she mentioned his age, the man felt a pain in his chest. He felt a need to respond, but it felt like there was a rock in his throat as he tried to get the words out.
"Ai mean... Ai might be grown, but Ai ain't got... well, any schoolin'." Laeonas replied, a frown on his lips. "Ai can read, and Ai know 'ow ta count and write... but Ai ain't learned. At all." He explained, a clear reluctance to admit his ignorance with every few words.

Confronting it was one thing, but he hadn't actually suggested anything-- not yet.
"Ai don't think Ai can learn with a bunch of younglin's, even if we're learnin' tha same shite... a tutor would make sense..." He explained, his words motivated in equal parts by the logic of what he'd said, and his pride refusing to let him work alongside children. So far, he'd been honest-- and he would continue to be as he'd add, "...but if Ai'm gonna get a tutor, Ai think ya'd do fine."

He allowed the suggesting to sit there for a few moments. She'd offered to teach him all he wanted, but what he suggested now was a direct request to continue learning from her. He hadn't just accepted her suggestion; he'd insisted on it. At the offer of language classes, he'd nod-- but pause, giving her a confused look. "wh- language? Whaddya mean? Are ya gonna teach me some alien speech?" Asked the man.


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Ephiny Daivand

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Laeonas admitted what Ephiny already knew. Since the day that he asked her how bread was made, the Archivist understood that the older man didn’t have any type of schooling. However, she said nothing, staying silent and listening to what the Brentaalan was saying.

She noticed that talking about it made Laeonas uncomfortable. Perhaps he was starting to trust her enough to reveal these facts about his life. Ephiny would have patience. She was going to wait for him to talk more about his past. The Archivist believed that with time he would tell her more things about how he lived before joining the Order.

Well I can teach you any Language that you want. If I don’t know how to speak it, I can find a tutor for you.” she answered his question, a smile on her lips. “But avoid calling other sentient beings as aliens. For some of them, we humans are also aliens. They can feel offended by it.” maybe she would need to help him stop using some offensive terms. He could easily make someone mad by accident.

Would you like to learn more Galactic Basic, too?” she said reluctantly. Ephiny didn’t wanted her Padawan to think that she thought that he was dumb for having this accent. She only wanted to help him learn more. “Before we start with other languages, it could be good if you learned more about the one that you use. There are things such as the correct grammar and syntax that could help when talking with someone during a mission.” he probably had no idea of what she was talking about, but she hoped that using these difficult terms would make him interested in learning.

When they entered the Jedi Temple, Ephiny guided him through the halls and stopped in front of Laeonas’ room. “Now take a shower. The dinner will be served soon at the Dining Hall. Tomorrow we are going to meet at the Library to start your lessons.” she would say, before turning and walking away.

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Laeonas Tannaras

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Laeonas’ interest was immediately piqued by Ephiny’s offer. He’d spent quite a bit of time in the Outer Rim, and there’d been many situations where he’d found himself unable to communicate effectively with others. Ofcourse, that happened in the core as well… really, he had problems with people understanding him anywhere other than a Brentaali inner city block. Granted, he didn’t really… well, care. Laeonas only ever started conversations when he wanted to get something out of someone, be it as benign as sating his curiosity, or scamming them.

The comment about the term he used left Laeonas a little confused. Even as Ephiny explained her reasoning, the man frowned a little.
“Why? They ain’t ‘uman, so they’re aliens.” He replied, genuinely curious. “Ai call people with gold or yellow ‘air blonde— Ai call people th’at ain’t ‘uman aliens. Ai could call em each by what… well, their… people are called… but if Ai’m just gonna call em laike themselves, Ai’d just call ‘em by name.” The Brentaalan explained. Growing up on a majority human world in the core might’ve fostered xenophobia in some, but living in the slums, surrounded by people of all species, had prevented any such attitude from forming in his case.

“‘Sides, there ain’t nothin’ else ta call em; if they ain’t human they’re alien, and if Ai call ‘em humans they’d usually get pissed.” He explained, adding, “One taime Ai asked mae ma why some twi’lek was green, and Ai said their ‘air was ugly. Th’at guy started goin’ off on us in ‘uttese, mae ma started yellin’ at ‘im. Than Ai used tha force ta knock ‘im on ‘is ass when it looked laike ‘e was about ta try ‘ittin’ Ma.” He went on, smiling a little at the ridiculousness of the situation in hindsight.

“Ma always told me ta remember th’at everyone’s different, and th’at Ai oughta be more polite ‘round aliens. They ain’t ‘uman, and judgin’ ‘ow they look laike they’re supposed ta be ‘uman was rude.” The man explained, finally putting the justification behind his point. “…she was real mad at me though. Called me a damn fool, said Ai couldn’t keep mae mouth shut. Said people’d ‘it me when Ai got older.” The man went on, the explanation turning to reminiscing. “Ai told ‘er Ai’d just ‘it ‘em back. She almost laughed, but she smacked me anyways.”

The man’s explanation had diverged far from their original topic of conversation, so when Ephiny chose to reel it back, Laeonas was already caught off guard. That she’d suggested he be taught his own native language caused him to do the hardest double take he’d ever experienced. Stopping in his tracks, the man turned to face her, eyes wide as he stared. “…what?” He’d whisper, blinking a few times. “…Ai’m… sorry, did Ai ‘ear ya wrong? Ai speak basic just fine.” He said, though even he knew more and more that that wasn’t true.

The follow up explanation was as incomprehensible as those first things she’d told him about lightsabers— more so, even. He wondered if she was speaking some higher language with those words, but he didn’t press on it. Whatever she was saying, the meaning, like what she’d said about sabers, still bled through.
“…ya think tha way Ai sound makes it ‘arder fer people ta understand me.” Laeonas declared, a neutral expression worn on his face. He felt a sinking self disgust within him as the words escaped his lips— but that feeling always arrived when he stopped lying to himself.

Honesty had proven a boom to him over these past few weeks. But it also proved to be an extremely painful principle to stick to.
“…it’ll be useful if people don’t mistake what Ai say.” He said dryly, a sigh escaping immediately after. “Ai’ll… learn ‘ow ta talk laike tha lot of ya.” He added, the words once again coming out with great difficulty.

He’d return to his room, silent, only responding to Ephiny with a nod. Today had been his first day learning the ways of the Jedi, and regardless of how his pride was wounded, or how his morals were challenged, he would persist.

————


“…Iiiiiii… Ai- IIII.” The man pronounced, letting out a sigh. Three months of practice, and he was still struggling with even the most basic sounds. Staring into the mirror of his refresher, the man put down his razor, slack jaw tightening up as he stood there. It was early for a change, leaving the man a bit more tired than he usually felt. Still, exhaustion had proven to be as much a part of his training as something as basic as sweating.

Exiting his dorm, Laeonas was clad in his now familiar robes. He still didn’t like them, but after months of exercise and rebuilding his physique, the robes had at least started to fit. He’d also been given the familiar braid of a padawan, which seemed to surprise most who he passed in the hallways. Yet he wasn’t treated like he didn’t belong; they looked at him with surprise to see how old he was for his position, sure, but it wasn’t hostile. Besides, even if they were trying to get under his skin, it wouldn’t work. After all, the man had endured far worse than a few rude glanced.

Arriving at the library, it didn’t take long for him to spy his teacher. A smile spread across his face as he approached, sitting across from the woman.
“Ayy.”


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Ephiny Daivand

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While Laeonas explained the reasons why he uses the term alien for non-humans, Ephiny smiled a bit. His mother seemed to be someone very brave. Her Padawan was also brave, to attack a Twi’lek to protect his mother. The Archivist noticed how the Brentaalan seemed happy when talking about it.

Yes, they aren’t human. However, when we use the word alien, we are trying to say that someone is foreign.” Ephiny said, trying to explain to the man why some individuals thought that these terms were offensive. “Now, imagine that you are visiting Cato Neimoidia as part of a mission of the Order. You call the Neimoidians as aliens, but they are in their homeworld. They could say that you are an alien, since you are a foreign. Us humans are also aliens for other species.

Another example is that you are visiting Chandrila and met a Pantoran, whose family has lived there for centuries. Who would be the alien? The Pantoran or you?”she hoped that her examples would make him understand. “This is why I call all sentients as people or person, because all of them are individuals.

After Laeonas agreed to study Languages, Ephiny left him at his bedroom and walked toward her own room. After the dinner, she spent the rest of the night working in the classes that she was going to give to him. The Archivist was certain that it was going to be a long and difficult journey.

—---------------​

She was right, it was a long and difficult path. Laeonas still had problems with the pronunciation of some words and sometimes it would make him stressed. However, Ephiny would always help him to remain calm. He was making progress with it and with his training to be a Jedi Knight.

Ephiny was waiting for him at the Library. Today they were going to have a History class, her favourite subject. She spent the day before preparing a special class for him, one that hopefully he would not feel bored with. Didn’t took much time for her Padawan to arrive.

Good morning, Padawan! I hope that you are prepared, because today we are going to start a class about the history of the Jedi.” Ephiny smiled at him, herself being excited for this class. “Tell me, Laeonas, how do you think that the Jedi appeared?” she wanted to turn this class into something more dynamic and interesting, as if it was more a conversation than a class.

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Laeonas Tannaras

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It seemed that Ephiny was opening up her response in a way that left Laeonas not further educated... but just confused. Partially by the fact that, if an alien called him an alien, he wouldn’t really care, and partially because he didn’t know what a Cato Neimodia was. They still wouldn’t be human, and to call them such would just be incorrect. Her drawing of the word "alien" to the word "foreigner" didn't ring well with the man however; the non-humans who lived in the neighborhoods he did usually spoke and sounded just like him.

It was only when the woman brought up her second point that Laeonas truly had to take a step back. He was as much an alien to non humans as they were to him. Yet would it really be fair-- he, a person who'd never lived on Chandrilla-- to apparently use terminology that called someone a foreigner, on a planet that they and their family had called home longer than most beings lived? If "alien" really implied that someone wasn't a native to their part of the galaxy, certainly it'd be unfair for him to even consider that the alien in such an interaction was anyone but him?

It was a lot to consider; perhaps there was some implicit xenophobia in the term he was using. From how Ephiny spoke, she even made it sound easier to just ignore the distinction. The man had never harbored ill will towards non humans (except for hutts), but he'd never put much consideration into language regarding how they ought to be addressed. That was mostly related to him caring very little as to how he was viewed socially, but as time went on, that was changing. The brutish criminal who broke thumbs on Tuesdays and clubbed on Fridays wasn't the man he wished to be anymore.

For the most part, anyways.

--------

History was, to put it mildly, not Laeonas' favorite subject. He couldn't care less about the internal conflicts of some systems he'd never heard of half place across the galaxy thousands of years from when he'd been born. Only a few topics were an exception to this bored apathy he held, with the Jedi being the only topic he'd truly felt engaged in-- mostly because it concerned him, on some level. That didn't mean he had the answer to Ephiny's question, ofcourse. At least, not the correct one.

"...huh. Th'at's... kinda tricky." He admitted, pursing his lips at the thought. "They've been around fer laike... aidunno, thirty thousand years? Ai think tha draoi were still around back than." He'd joke, pointing to the obviously fictitious priests he'd heard about in old myths passed around while doing spice.

"But if Ai 'ad ta guess... there were obviously force sensitive people before tha Jedi showed up. They were prolly scattered all over tha place, and since tha Jedi are older than tha republic... well, that'd mean th'at it'd be 'ard fer a bunch of forcies ta all get tagether, meet up, and figure out their own philosophy." He went on, drawing on the very basic knowledge (the stuff he hadn't forgotten or ignored) to set up his framing. However, the gears seemed to come to a halt after he finished his description.

"...um... shite, 'ow would they be able ta meet up?" The man muttered, scratching the back of his head. "It took me laike... near most of mae laife ta even meet someone else th'at can use tha force. Ai ain't even plannin' on startin' a galaxy wide order either." He continued, frowning a little.

"...it'd have ta start small if it were gonna start at all." He'd finally conclude. "Prolly a couple blokes figurin' out a philosophy t'gether, than runnin' around tha galaxy laike mad lookin' fer others laike 'em." the man declared, imagining an almost comical image of a few sagely old men traveling from world to world in search of force sensitives "It'd take... a really long taime fer tha Jedi ta spread their teachin's around, and by tha taime they did they'd probably change a lot... right?" He'd ask, finally turning to the woman who actually knew how the Jedi had... well, happened.


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Ephiny Daivand

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Ephiny smiled while Laeonas' answered her question. She was satisfied that he was formulating interesting hypotheses. The formation of the Jedi Order was still surrounded by many mysteries, but at some point Force sensitives of different species had come together to discover the secrets of the Force. It was like how the man was describing.

"The question that I asked you still doesn't have an answer. It's still a mystery how the Jedi Order came to be." she said to him. "However, we are right when you said that there were already other groups studying the Force. The historians believe that the Dai Bendu, an ancient religious order, could be the precursor of the Jedi." Ephiny didn't want to enter in much detail because it would probably make him bored. She expected to visit a museum with him soon. There he could see what she was teaching him.

"Even the place where the first Jedi Temple was built is surrounded in controversy. The planets of Ahch-To, Tython, Ossus, Coruscant and Jedha are candidates to it.” Ephiny passed to Laeonas her Datapad. There he would be able to see pictures of the planets and their temples. He would also be able to see their location on the Galaxy.

She would continue the class by explaining to Laeonas the early history of the Jedi Order. How it became allied with the Republic and for centuries maintained the peace on the Galaxy. Ephiny only briefly mentioned the birth of the Sith Order. She still avoided talking too much about them, due to fear of the Brentaalan having another mental breakdown.

After some hours, the class would finally come to an end. “I think that we finished the theory for today, now is time for the practice.” Ephiny smiled at him, she hoped that he would like it. “When I teach to the other Padawans, I have field trips to the places that we were studying. What do you think if we go visit the Jedi Temple of Tython?” she knew that he hadn't left the Temple in several months, so this could be a good opportunity for him to open himself to the Galaxy again. “There I could even teach you another Force ability.

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Laeonas Tannaras

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The look of approval on his teacher's face sent relief through the Padawan, letting out a sharp exhale. Whether or not Laeo was correct, Ephiny seemed please by his answer all the same. To get an answer to a question he'd barely pondered wrong didn't matter much to the man. Failing to impress, or even disappointing his teacher did mean something to him.

Despite his lack of interest in whether or not he'd gotten the answer right, Laeonas was still left surprised when Ephiny revealed that there wasn't actually a clear answer to the question she'd posed. That the Jedi didn't know their own origins was a surprise to the man, especially considering how well documented his homeworld's early history was. The houses of Brentaal often boasted about their venerated ancestors who'd been dead for millennia, yet this ancient order of thousands of force wielders didn't know where it had even started?

Besides that, the man struggled to find a point in the exercise itself.
"Why'd she ask me tha question if she didn't know if Ai was right or not?" The padawan mused, silent as he listened to his teacher's approximation of an origin. Perhaps it was simply to gauge his thought process? To see if he was even capable of pretending to know what she was talking about?

Despite his own thoughts distracting him, the man managed to spare a glance at the datapad. The distance between the marked planets was quite severe in some cases. The man couldn't imagine how Ossus and Tython, so far away from each other, could both play host to the first Jedi temple. How far back could the founding of the order be for such distant worlds to both have structures that claimed to be the first of their kind on them? That time of the galaxy in his mind was when myth was written-- what could come before?

The rest of the lesson went on without Laeonas saying a thing, listening to the rest as his interest was refocused. The image of a galaxy with nothing but a republic and a Jedi order to protect it almost seemed cartoonishly simple, considering how there were nearly half a dozen galaxy spanning political or economic entities that existed these days. That there was a time before the Sith even existed seemed almost impossible, considering how pervasive they seemed in the modern day.

He didn't react beyond a frown at the mention of the Sith. Ephiny's description seemed deliberately short, and it didn't take long for Laeonas to figure why. His frown faded as he recognized the act of kindness, with the woman trying to spare him the anguish that had come the last time she'd brought up the Sith. Both time and the training he'd been given was, increasingly, helping the man heal from the horror he'd experienced at their hands.

Than came an offer that he would've never anticipated. "Visit? Offworld?" He repeated aloud, almost as if he were searching for confirmation. The familiar building around him stood, and as he looked around, his brow furrowed. His childhood had been defined by he and his mother moving every few months-- sometimes weeks, and later in life he scarcely stayed in a single system for more than a few days. "Ai've been comfy 'ere... but Ai guess it couldn't 'urt ta stretch mae legs." He teased, sitting up a bit in his chair.

At the last suggestion, Laeonas' face shifted from amusement to genuine excitement. "Aight, Ai'm sold. We takin' mae ship, or yers?" He'd ask, hopping to his feet.


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Ephiny Daivand

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Ephiny knew that Laeonas there was a great possibility of Laeonas refusing to go on this field trip. The Archivist still remembers how he reacted when she mentioned that he could go with her on one of her trips to collect knowledge to the Archives. The Brentaalan was afraid, still suffering from what happened to him in Firrerre.

She smiled when her Padawan agreed, believing that he was starting to recover from his trauma. The Archivist had noticed how he seemed unsure at first. If he had refused, Ephiny wasn’t going to try to convince him. She wanted him to be comfortable with the idea and to accept it in his own time, without being forced.

Good! We can go with your ship. If you are comfortable enough with it.” there been months since he piloted for the last time. It was important for his recovery that he did things that used to do before Firrerre. Making Laeonas use his ship would also be important for him to overcome his trauma.

After all, it was there that he suffered his breakdown, being at this place again could cause some type of negative reaction on him. However, it would not be healthy for him to hide it. If Laeonas reacted in some way to being back at his ship, Ephiny would be there to help him.

I need to pick some things for our trip. We can meet in one hour in front of your ship.” after saying that, Ephiny got up from her seat. “You can use this time to get the things that you want to bring to Tython.” then, she would walk out of the library.

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Laeonas Tannaras

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His ship?

He hadn't really been serious when he'd suggested it, yet in spite of that, Ephiny had accepted.
"Oh... cool. Yeah. I'm comfy with th'at." He answered, even if he weren't totally sure if that was an honest answer or not. He hadn't stepped foot on his ship in months, after all. Was he really ready to start galivanting around in it on an adventure?

The question weighed on him as he returned to his dorm. It weighed on him as he packed his bags. It weighed on him as he walked to the main hangar, and it almost crushed him when he was greeted by the sight of his ship's chromium hull. The ship he'd stolen from Mataou, the ship he'd had refitted on Zeltros-- the ship he'd experienced the worst horror of his life on. He'd spent so much of his life traveling on that ship so far, and yet it looked both familiar, and utterly foreign to him.

Walking towards the ship, it was almost like his pants were lined with lead. It took all his strength to take a single step forward-- than another, and another. Soon, he was standing a few meters away, the hulking freighter taking up everything in his field of vision. It was like a monolithic structure, sitting there, light glaring off the chromium plated exterior.

Why was he so troubled by this thing?!


"Ya used ta live in it!" He told himself, chewing on his lower lip as he turned his gaze away. "Ya ate in their, drank in their, kriffed in there-- don't make sense fer ya ta be tremblin' laike a leaf at tha sight of this thing!" Laeonas whispered, breathing growing heavier as he stood there. He'd survived so much over the years, and yet a ship was putting fear in him? It was ridiculous on the face of it.

But it didn't matter; the weight didn't let up, the fear in him didn't dissipate. When Ephiny arrived in the hangar, the ship would still be closed, and it's owner would be standing outside like a figure of marble. The only hint of life in him was the ragged, quick breaths that escaped his lips, and the wide, occasionally blinking aquamarines that sat in his eye sockets. The past few months of progress-- of normalization, returning to routine-- it all seemed to disappear. Standing before his ship was a terrified man, held in place by what he'd gone through in the past.


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After she arrived at her room, Ephiny started to collect everything that they would need for the trip to Tython. She would bring holobooks and other items that could be useful in the field class. After placing everything inside a bag, she picked a vase that was over a table. Inside it there was a plant, which had a bud.

With everything necessary for the trip inside her bag, Ephiny left her room. Before going to the spaceport, the Archivist stopped at the kitchen to pick food and water. The Knight didn’t know for how much time they would be there, so it would be good for them to be prepared.

When she arrived at the spaceport, Ephiny noticed that her Padawan was already there. Smiling, the Knight walked toward him. “Laeonas, I thought that you would be preparing the ship.” being close to him, she was able to see how the Brentaalan was. His ragged breath and wide eyes made her understand that the effects of the trauma were returning.

She took a deep breath and placed the vase on the floor. Then she placed hand on his shoulder, sending feelings of calmness and comfort to him through the Force. “I’m here now.” Ephiny said. She regretted having said that they should go with his ship. He wasn’t prepared for that. “Follow me, I know a place where you calm down.” she would pick the vase from the floor and hold Laeonas’ hand, wanting him to go with her. In these moments, he couldn’t stay alone.

If her Padawan accepted being guided, she would go with him to a greenhouse that the younglings and padawans used to have classes of xenobotanic. The place had been modeled after the Room of a Thousand Fountains, which existed in the Jedi Temple of Coruscant. It was a the perfect place for them to talk.

After arriving there, she would sit in the grass, placing the vase in front her. Ephiny would gesture for her Padawan to sit in front of her. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

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A familiar presence, and with it, came calm. The man didn't turn his head to face the woman; he didn't need to in order to know she was there. That presence alone was enough to calm him slightly-- it might have even calmed him down fully, if she didn't do what came next. As she placed her hand on his shoulder, and began forcing a feeling of calm into his mind, the man recoiled.

Eyes widened, mouth agape, and a gaspy-screech escaped it as he threw himself back, hitting the ground and crawling backwards. If he'd been breathing hard before, he was hyperventilating now. The sudden attempt at forcing emotion into his mind, with the force-- it was all to similar to his experiences. At any other time, she might've been able to do such a thing. But the terrified creature before her was not one she could so casually manipulate with the force.

Usually, the man's breathe would slow as he looked up at her, the visual sight of his teacher inherently calming. But as he stared at who'd just slipped into his mind, he felt fear as well, conflicting with the feelings of trust and calm that had been built up over the past few months. Everything was confused; his instincts were twisted between calming, fleeing, and fighting. His emotions somersaulted around, mixing together in a confused mess that burned his heart. His mind was racing, trying it's best to make sense of what had happened, and what to do.

She was his teacher, his friend. Ephiny had taught him the ways of the force, helped him become a Jedi. This was what he knew, this was what was true-- and yet she'd just invaded his mind? So casually and flippantly-- but it wasn't like she hadn't done it before? Right? Right?

The questions came, but the longer he looked at her, his mind slowly made up. As... unpleasant as the last few seconds had been, the man wouldn't-- couldn't let it override months of trust and growing friendship. It was shaken, but it was not shattered. Rising from where he'd sat, the man stood on wobbly legs, nodding and following after his teacher. It was a long, long walk over.

When they finally arrived on the grass, he would sit across, knees hugged to his chest as he did so. His eyes were still wide, and they didn't focus on her, instead wildly looking around, as if following a sound-- a whisper-- and trying to find it's source. As he looked at the vase, he didn't wait for the water to be offered to him, as he'd slowly been taught to do-- but he aggressively seized it, and poured the contents down his throat, wrists violently shaking before he set it down. Her question came, and for awhile, it just hung. Than, he spoke.


"...Ai... Ai couldn't get on." He began, speaking in a very shaky tone. "Ai just... Ai saw it all, again. It flashed 'fore mae eyes, laike... laike Ai was still there." he confessed, his volume dropping to a whisper. "...Ai don't... Ai don't understand why... it don't make any sense..." He added, completely aware of how it made no rational sense. "...but Ai can't care. All Ai'm brought back ta... is... was..." he tried to speak, but failed to articulate.

"...but... Ai wanna try again." He whispered, before looking up at his teacher. He felt uneasy-- the uncertainty of how he felt towards her twisting up his heart. "...will ya 'elp me?"


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Ephiny patiently waited for Laeonas to calm down. When she had used the Force to calm him down early, the Archivist felt how his fear increased. She shouldn’t have done it. He was having another breakdown and it probably made things worse. Now the Knight could only hope that the months of recovery weren’t jeopardized.

Hearing Laeonas talk with a shaky voice made Ephiny’s heart break. It was like they were back to the day when he woke up, with all his trauma returning. The Archivist said nothing, remaining in silence while the man explained what happened. She felt guilty because of it, he wasn’t prepared to face it and she had forced him.

The Knight started to doubt her abilities as a teacher, she was incapable to notice how her Padawan was still affected by his traumas. “I’m sorry, Laeonas. I shouldn’t have proposed that we go with your ship.” Ephiny hoped that he would understand that she didn’t want to hurt him. “I thought that you had recovered enough to use it. As your Master, I should have noticed that you weren't prepared. I failed with you.

When Laeonas said that he wanted to try again, Ephiny nodded. “I’ll help you. I promised you that.” then she pointed at the plant in the vase. “This is a gift to you. This plant is called the dark red orchid. Generally, the color red is associated with the Dark side, but it isn’t the case with this plant. It has a Force presence and the bud can open early if a calm mind, one full of Light, aligns with it. This can help you meditate.” she moved the vase toward him. “Do you want to try it before we go to the spaceport again?

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Her apology came quickly, but the man aggressively refuted it. "'Ow could ya 'ave known it'd go down laike it did?" He'd ask, tone as shaky as ever, but volume increasing all the same. "Even Ai couldn't 'ave guessed th'at what 'appened 'appened. Till ya know me better than Ai know maeself, it wasn't yer fault." He'd declare, ending that part of the discussion immediately. He already felt terrible enough; the guilt of having hurt his teacher wouldn't be on his mind.

After reiterating her promise, the man felt a twinge of relief. Even just hearing words of support from the woman he'd come to regard as one of his only real friends worked wonders on his psyche. Curiosity naturally followed when he was presented with the gift, and it only grew as Ephiny explained the process by which he'd have to go about making it bloom.
"Ai... th'at's real kind of ya." He added, still incapable of the simple "thank you."

At the suggestion of meditation, Laeonas pondered for a long minute. Meditation could calm him further... but to simply sit here, while the source of his fear sat out there, unconquered? It might have been the more wise course of action-- it might've been the Jedi course of action, but it was not Laeonas' course of action.
"Ai'm not gonna break down and than meditate till Ai feel better again." the man declared, though he scooped up the vase regardless.

As he walked out to his ship, Laeonas would glance behind him, making sure that Ephiny was in view. The determination that carried him out so quickly would grind against the growing fear that he felt as he'd approach the ship. It was as if the air, previously weightless and without form, began to thicken, a resistance pushing against him as he moved forward. As meters turned to feet, it'd feel like he was swimming down to the bottom of a pool. As those feet turned to centimeters, it felt like he was pressing against a solid wall.

His physical reaction was similarly intense. Though he'd begun moving steadily towards the ship, a light shaking would prompt him to place the vase on the ground-- he didn't want to risk dropping it. His judgement was confirmed correct with every following step, as the light tremble shifted into an ever more intense rattle. His eyes were wide, his breaths rose and fell, and sweat practically poured down from that long hair of his. For a moment it might have looked like he would break down again-- that was, until his arm moved to the control panel.

His fingers shook as he'd reach out to type in the code, uncontrollable rattling not coming to a stop now that he was trying to put them to use. He stood only for a moment in contemplation, as his second hand shot up to seize his other wrist. With added control, he slowly typed out the passcode with each passing moment. Finally, after several minutes of struggling, the loading ramp began to open for the first time in
months. Gripping the walls, Laeonas would slump to his knees, mind in a haze from near hyperventilation.

He should've just meditated.


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Even what Laeonas had said, Ephiny still felt guilty about what happened. She was his Master, it was her responsibility to secure the well being of her Padawan. The Archivist should have noticed that he wasn’t feeling comfortable using the ship. She could have used the Force to notice it.

When the Brentaalan refused to meditate, Ephiny wanted to argue with him. He should calm himself before facing his trauma again. The Archivist didn’t want to see her Padawan having another mental breakdown. It made him look so fragile and afraid, both were feelings that didn’t match Laeonas.

However, she said nothing. Ephiny was going to respect his decision and help him deal with it. “I understand, but remember that you can always use meditation to help at these moments.” the Archivist got up from where she was sitting and followed her Padawan toward the spaceport.

While they walked toward the ship, Ephiny noticed that the Brentaalan would occasionally turn to look at her. Probably he was trying to certify that she was really there with him. When it happened , the Archivist would give him a smile. The Knight had promised that she would help him. She would never let him down.

Ephiny saw Laeonas’ panic increase while they approached the ship. It was obvious that he was struggling to not have a panic attack. However, after he opened the loading ramp, the Archivist saw her Padawan strength end and he fell to his knees.

Without saying a word, the Knight kneeled beside the Brentaalan and enveloped him in a hug. Through it, Ephiny wanted her Padawan to understand that he wasn’t alone. She was there for him and she wasn’t going away. "I'm here with you." she said while soothing Laeonas like a mother would do to her child. She would wait for him to be calm enough to talk.

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Her arms were wrapped over his neck, and the man's breathing would slow, her words working wonders to set the shaking Padawan's nerves at ease. Dealing with his emotions, confronting his fears, it had always been something he'd struggled with-- and almost always, he had struggled alone. Only a few had ever helped him in those struggles, and fewer still had remained close. But here one of those few was, reminding him that he wasn't alone. It was such a simple breath of kindness, and it worked wonders.

"...Ai... Ai ain't gonna let this 'appen t'me again."
He whispered, not looking up at his teacher as she embraced him. "Ai'm... Ai'm a Jedi. Ai've gotta be strong..." He started, an air of defiance in his voice, and only when he added, "...fear won't break me anymore, and if it ever comes close... Ai'll just remember this." The Padawan finished; it was but another promise he'd made, but it was one he fully intended to keep.

Reaching up, a trembling hand would wrap around hers, uncut fingernails digging into skin. The other would grab the rim of the hull, and slowly, the man rose. Laeonas took a deep breathe before his foot met the loading ramp, climbing up, stopping when it came time to move further into the ship. His lower lip was met by his upper teeth, and for a moment it seemed he would fall back into the terrified paralysis he had been in before-- but only for a moment. It would pass, and with it, Laeonas would slowly slip from Ephiny's embrace. He didn't go to far from her however, only moving so much that she was just a few feet away.

In his absence, a thin layer of dust had accumulated on every surface. As the both of them would breathe, the stale air would remind them both of how the ventilation had been shut off for the past few months. Everything had been left as it had when the sector rangers had rescued him, and it hadn't changed after the Jedi had brought it back to Yavin, along with him. Crates in the cargo hold were still tossed around, their edges marred in dents after being tossed around against the walls. Dishes that had been left out during the crash were still shattered in corners. His bedroom was an absolute mess, and the man didn't even bother to look at what had happened to the bathroom.

Worst were the rec room and the kitchen. All of his equipment had been tossed around, the walls covered in massive, impressionable dents that made the one he'd made with Senin look tame by comparison. The kitchen's furniture was tossed up and around, and the fridge had slid out of it's place and smashed into the opposite cabinets, it's now moldy and rotten contents strewn over the floor. Were his mother to see the state of his ship, he could've easily expected an hours long tirade about how he "LIVED LAIKE A KARKIN ZUKKA PIG!" Comparatively, the scolding he expected from Ephiny seemed like a slap on the wrist.

By the time he reached the cockpit, he was... mortified, to say the least. That this would be the first his teacher saw of the place he'd lived in for several years left him embarrassed, but also, worried. As he stared at the console, and looked around the walls, his eyes eventually rested on the captain's chair. Slowly, he walked over, slipping into the seat. Of all things he'd changed when it was retrofitted, he'd left the chair in it's place. Before he'd gotten a proper bed, he'd slept most of his nights in it, the cot being even more uncomfortable. Now, here it was-- and here he was. Home.

"...tha ship... doesn't normally look laike this." He began, swiveling the chair around so he could face his teacher-- though, he didn't make direct eye contact. "...we can... try cleanin' it before we leave." He said. As much as he hated the idea of going through the ship, and cleaning every single room out of the mess he was in, he refused to spend the next few weeks in such awful living conditions.



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After some minutes with her only hugging him, Laeonas finally was calm enough to talk. While he talked, making a promise about how it would not happen again, Ephiny said nothing. She continued holding the man with a hug, trying to comfort and give him strength to understand that he was capable of making this promise become reality.

Promises. It’s interesting how their Master-Padawan relationship started with her promise of helping him to become a good Jedi. Now, Laeonas promised that he would not allow his traumas to overcome him. Ephiny wondered how many others would be made until the Brentaalan would become a Knight.

Ephiny patiently watched getting up from the floor, not helping him at any moment. She believed that this was something that he needed to do alone, without her interference. As soon as Laeonas entered the ship, she followed him. After all, the Archivist had promised that she would not leave him alone.

The place was covered with dust and the air was stale due to months without the ventilation being turned down. While she followed the man through the ship, never staying away from him, Ephiny also noticed how the furniture was tossed around and there was rotten food in the kitchen.

Don't be mad. We will organize everything.” she said, trying to comfort the man. She had felt that Laeonas was uncomfortable with what he was seeing. His home looking like a dump ground probably was a shocking sight to anyone. “I’ll help you with it.

When they arrived at the cockpit, Ephiny watched Laeonas seat on the pilot chair and turn toward her. “I believe in that. This is only because you spend so much time out of your home. It happened with my family when I was a child.” she said, notalgia filling her voice. “One day, all my family, including my grandmother, went on a two month vacation to visit some relatives in Lantiles. When we returned our house was this way too, full of dust and with some rotten food.

Of course we can clean it before going to Tython.” she smiled at him, one of the objectives of this trip was to make him comfortable while also learning. If having a clean ship would help with it, then they would do it. “Where do you think that we should start?

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Her reassurances and offer of aid were, as usual, a welcome ease on his burdens. Standing up, he'd walk over to the threshold where the woman was standing, stepping over it and past her. "Thank ya-- good thing th'at ya will, cus we'll be 'ere fer tha 'ole day if it's just me." He declared, smirking a little bit. There was a lot of work to do-- it was a pretty big ship, after all.

Her story brought him a little more amusement, a chuckle escaping hips lips as he started flicking on the lights, rather than the emergency power that had automatically flipped on months ago, and never been turned off. The whole ship was a lot brighter, which revealed how well it had previously been refurbished, and how disgusting the interior truly was. "Mae ma didn't grow up as poor as Ai did, so 'er da taught 'er all about keepin' a clean 'ouse. Ai never bothered listenin' ta 'er though, and so she'd always be furious whenever Ai left a mess."

"One taime, Ai'd brought a guy 'ome, and after a couple hours of fun, mae ma got 'ome and saw 'ow banged up tha place was. When she burst inta mae room, she acted laike tha guy wasn't even there, and just started goin' off 'bout 'ow Ai'd knocked some dishes ont'a tha floor."
He went on, completely oblivious to how very inappropriate the story was. She'd taught him plenty about polite social interactions, but verbal modesty wasn't something he'd grasped yet. "Anyways, Ai'll go get a couple bags; we'll start in tha kitchen, and make our way back from there."

The next few hours, which would've otherwise been exceedingly unpleasant for the man, were made bearable by the presence of his teacher. While working, the two would continue to talk, making their way from room to room and continuing their conversation, only stopping when it took a degree of focus. They'd only really stopped for a long period when they'd had to clean the rec room, which took a heavy amount of force use to put everything back into place. Laeonas had insisted that he could put it all back with his strength alone, but that became an issue when he had to stand the rowing machine back up.

By the time they were done, the ship was in full working order, with only the dents on the walls being left completely unfixed. Even the dust was cleared up, thanks to an additional hour spent between them going through the ship with a bottle of andust. "Karkin' 'ell, th'at took awhile!" He exclaimed, letting out a sigh as he leaned against the hull, sliding down until he was sitting. "Feels good ta be back. Now, let's get this show on tha-- oh, wait." Laeonas went on, stopping before he abruptly stood up. He arrived back in seconds, his luggage in hand. "Just dropped this earlier when Ai 'ad mae... episode. So, uh, Ai'll get us airborne!"



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Ephiny smiled with Laeonas comment. "Well, if I'm going as the hitchhiker, the best that I could do is help you clean this place." they were going to stay on this shuttle for some time until they reached the Deep Core. Staying in a place covered in dust and with rotten food would not be good for their health. It was another good reason for them to clean it as fast as possible.

She followed him out of the cockpit, thinking about where they should start cleaning. When Laeonas turned the light on, Ephiny was able to see how really desolate the ship was. It was like a herd of banthas had walked through there after a bunch of Zeltrons did a full party. Everything was out of place and there was so much dust that it looked like this place was abandoned for years rather than some months. They had much work to do.

Her musings were interrupted by Laeonas telling his story. She only nodded when he went to pick some bags in the kitchen. She really needed to work with him on the entire concept of modesty. Ephiny became red with shame. Her Padawan really needed to learn that some things shouldn't be done or said at some moments.

During the next few hours, the two would clean the ship. Ephiny had calmed down after hearing Laeonas' story and would be talking with him about other things, while they went from room to room removing the dust and taking the garbage. The Archivist was always someone very organized that always cared for cleaning and during this entire time she was trying to spark on her Padawan the interest for it. Only time would tell if she was successful.

After some time, they would finally finish cleaning the ship. "Yes, but now it is a habitable place and we will not have problems due to the dirt." she answered her Padawan. Even if they lost so much time with it, the Archivist believed that the results are still worth it. Now they could go to Tython without the foul odor of rotten food and the dust making them sneeze.

Seeing Laeonas pick his luggage, Ephiny nodded. "Yes. Now we can go. It'll be a long trip to the Deep Core." when he went to the cockpit, the Archivist would follow him. While Laeonas made the ship fly, the Knight would continue talking with him. "Now that it is clean, I can see that your ship is very nice. By the way, I left the vase with the orchid on a table in your bedroom. I thought that it would be good there."

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Laeonas slowly turned his head when he heard his teacher's reply, a smile tugging at his lips. "Was th'at a joke, teach? From Ephiny Daivand?" He'd ask, taking special care to pronounce her name in proper basic. "Maybe ya should do stand up routines in tha mess once we get back; Ai can give ya a few Ai've been cookin' up about tha other instructors." He went on, spending the next half hour telling her all sorts of jokes about their fellow Jedi. Some were good, most were mediocre, and only about half a dozen were appropriate enough to be told to a general audience.

With everything settled on the cleaning front, and all their luggage stowed, there was nothing left to keep them. Taking hold of the controls, the man would take a few extra seconds to fit into the grips, adjust himself, and do a once over of the control panel. Everything was as it had been, and now, after so long, he was in his chair again. Flipping on the ignition, he'd do his customary checks, finding all systems green. Than, like that, he took off.

--------

Laeonas was silent for the entirety of their ascent. The man was rusty, and he needed the extra focus to make sure he didn't wind up crashing them into the forest below. However, there was also a part of him that simply wanted to enjoy this. The feeling of his hands gripped around the controls, the flashing of lights in his periphery, the sky fading to a black canvas dotted with the pinpricks of light that were entire stars. All before the finale, as he pulled the handle for the hyperdrive controls back, and those pinpricks were stretched to streaks as they shot into hyperspace.

When he finally finished, the man would let out a sigh, relaxing into his seat. The whole time, Ephiny had been sitting alongside him. While it wasn't a remarkable takeoff, it felt incredible to be off world again, in his own ship, headed someplace he'd never been. When she commented on the travel time, he smirked, giving her a nod. "Ai got an auto-rerouter th'at can predict 'yperlane collapses in tha core. Upside's th'at Ai don't gotta sit 'ere manually pilotin' ta avoid collapses, but it'll take at least two days-- at best." He declared, explaining how the already long trip was going to be even longer.

"We'll 'ave places ta stop fer most of tha journey, but once we cross int'a tha deep core, we'll be on our own fer awhile." He declared. Ephiny would know all of this already; it was she who'd further educated him about astrography and interstellar travel, after all. The whole explanation was really just a quick way to score brownie points, and the dumb pride on his face showed just how shameless he was about it.

The compliments towards his ship left him a little surprised when he first heard them, eyebrows arching and lips tugging up into a genuine smile. "Ya think so? Ai kriffin' knew ya'd laike it, even a little bit!" He declared, abruptly standing up. "Thanks fer settin' up tha orchid's to! Nightstand'll be a great place fer 'em." The man added. His demeanor was uncharacteristically friendly, and even he wasn't sure why. Was it the simple thrill of being offworld? Time would tell if the upbeat persona would stick.

"Ayy, wanna watch somethin' on tha 'olo? Ai'd offer drinks, but we cleaned all th'at outta tha carpet a few hours ago." He joked, referencing the fact that his entire liquor cabinet had shattered months ago, and the significant amount of time they'd spent cleaning the alcohol out of the rug. "Ai've got an 'ole bunch'f channels, even a few streamin' services. 'Eard this new flick called drift just came out."



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Ephiny smiled while she watched Laeonas making the ship leave the spaceport. Even with the breakdown from early, her Padawan was showing progress on his recovery. However, the Brentaalan was showing progress in other things beyond his traumas. The Archivist noticed how he had pronounced her full name perfectly. It made her proud of him.

After they jumped into hyperspace, she paid close attention to Laeonas’ explanation about how much time would take for them to reach Tython. Ephiny only nodded in agreement. She already suspected that it would take days for them to arrive there, but 5 or 6 were less than she had thought. Normally the ships of the Temple would take at least 12 days to reach the Deep Core, probably because most of them are old.

When her Padawan said that they would need to stop on some planets before reaching the Deep Core, Ephiny had an idea. “Maybe we could stop on Uyter in the Mid Rim, I could show you my family’s farm. It has been a long time since I saw them.” she thought about what they were doing right now. Probably preparing for the harvest. “If we arrive at the right time, we can see the Agri fair on Visdic and eat some seasonal food. You would love my grandmother’s prized fruit pie.

We could also stop on Brentaal, if you want. Perhaps we could visit your mother.” if Laeonas refused, she would not pressure him to do it. She didn’t know the circumstances that made him leave his homeworld, so returning there could be difficult for him. However, the Archivist believed that it could be a good opportunity for him to see his mother again.

Since they would have much time before their first stop, Ephiny agreed that they could watch something on the holonet. “Since the ship is yours, you can choose what we are going to watch.” she would follow him to the holoroom. While they walked, the Knight would continue talking with her Padawan. “This ship probably saw many things. Do you have any interesting adventures to tell? I love a good story.

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