Tabloid Emryc Thorne's Fan Club stages invasion on Mandalorian space

[Jako Kuranabe]

by Jako Kuranabe​

MANDALORE--We are live on the scene as a freighter full of Emryc Thorne fangirls are to touch down on Mandalore. This move comes in the shadow of the latest act of war in a series of dramas surrounding Emryc Thorne's Fan Club. After a Mandalorian bounty hunter stunned the President of the Fan Club, Pootina Thorne, the fans have rallied under their banner, and their ship is just now reaching Mandalorian space so that they may exercise their protest.

[LIVE]

1300 local time: The freighter has landed, and the doors are slowly sliding open. Tensions are high here, with a considerable crowd of armored Mandalorians gathered. Some have set off flares and shot blasters into the air.

1310 local time: A tense first encounter lead to outright chaos as the Mandalorian counter protestors clashed with the Fan Club. Local police have moved in, but they seem relatively uninterested in restoring order.

1330 local time: After a great ridiculing and much insulting, they have managed to slither their way out of combat and are slowly but surely limping to their hotel. Unbeknownst to them, another group of Mandalorians are waiting outside the hotel to dish out some more judgement. More on this story as it develops.

 

[Jako Kuranabe]

1352 local time: Shockingly enough, it appears that Emryc Thorne's fanclub has mobilized. The group, ranging from pre-pubescent girls to middle-aged men, has returned from the hotel with renewed ambitions and a supercharged arsenal. Wielding blaster pistols and replica lightsabers, they are set to stage war on the Mandalorian welcoming parties.

1415 local time: Absolutely fantastic scenes here on Mandalore as the Emryc Thorne Fan Club has engaged in fierce unconventional warfare with the people of Mandalore. Blaster fire and the war cry "WE WILL DIE FOR EMI PIE" ring out across the port as the two groups battle it out.

1446 local time: Another remarkable Battle of Mandalore is coming to and end now as the dust settles over the port to see the Emryc Thorne Fan Club as the unmistakable winners of today. The Mandalorian warriors put up a good fight but were ultimately wiped out, some still laying stunned on the floor. Rumor has it that the Manda are planning to stage a counterattack tomorrow. More to come.

 

[Srucayr]

"Akaan Salyr, you see this? They're not even wearing real beskar." The tech said pulling up the recording.

"So it's fan girls fighting fan girls?" Srucayr would say. "Scramble the stolen vessels and bomb their hovels." He remembered when he first met Thorne at some party. Guy seemed like an eel then. And the impression of him didn't change at all. "I want them to think pirates did it. Then reach out to Roon and have them begin mobilizing their forces. I don't know why his fan club is here, but I want them prepared to strike the ISC in any event. And then contact Solus, tell them to get their dog back on his leash. Hes drawing attention to the Yaim."

 

[Jako Kuranabe]

Tragedy on Mandalore​

MANDALORE--The situation on Mandalore has gone from lighthearted and good fun to an absolute disaster as a Mandalorian ship has opened fire on a freighter making its way to a port. Just as the ship was coming to a landing, it was blasted to shrapnel right before onlookers' eyes.

"We thought it was the Emryc Thorne Fan Club," claim confused squadron members. "But that would only mean someone was planning to shoot a ship full of little girls."

The freighter was indeed carrying Emryc Thorne's Fan Club, and after a brief skirmish with the Mandalorians, the girls and guys had been coming back from the hotel for round two when their ship was blasted, and they died in the ensuing explosion. All but one has perished in the disaster.

Additionally, a Mandalorian has died in the fire, with 2 more severely injured. The flames were not tempered in time due to lax behaviors in the underfunded and mostly non-existent local authorities, and the burning rages on even now. The star port is irreversibly destroyed.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of those affected and with the people of Mandalore.

"We are mortified," says Emryc Thorne Fan Club Treasurer Felina Covax.

Stay tuned for an interview with the only survivor of the Emryc Thorne Fan Club expedition, right after she finishes on-site trauma counseling.

@Rhogar

 

[Srucayr]

Srucayr would be aboard the kom'rk class transport heading for the scene after a pirates vessel made the strafing run. He had ordered some advance Fang fighters to chase off the pirate vessel.

Once the ship landed, he would look around the chaos. "All because of idiots. They never learn to stay off our world.." he mused to himself. Other members of his Clan would gather the dead, injured, and the solitary survivor of the Fan Club. Others would begin to put out the flames.

Hed establish a triage in one of the run down buildings while more warriors arrived to set up a perimeter. "Tend to the wounded and get me a comm line to the main governments."

Some minutes later, he would be sitting aboard his ship, clad in his ancient beskar and winged helm. "Leaders of the New Republic, F.W.A, and the ISC.. what happened here is a great tragedy for your people. We have a survivor from the attack and we invite each of you to send a small transport so that you may collect your dead. I have people hunting for the pirates who attacked and once we find them, I will try to let each of you get your pound of flesh."

He would then lean back. "I must strive to remind you.. we are a world at war. My kind fight pirates and warlords daily. Though we try to patrol and keep things like this from happening, I cannot be everywhere. That said, this is not a request for aid, nor an agreement to allow you to marshall forces on our world. You can notify me at this signal to alert me to when you land. In the meantime, we will look after your dead and wounded. I look forward to meeting the envoys who arrive to represent you." He would then end the transmission.

@vamp

 

[Kotii Solus]

Kotii had a full schedule and this latest series of events was another obstacle added to his life. More importantly, this fiasco could hurt the Mandalorians as a whole simply because some armed outsiders came to Mandalore to protest and engage in combat with Mandalorians. Kotii had been watching and knew the face of @Jako Kuranabe well by now. His face had been on the tabloids and fueling the emotions of the easily manipulated just as well as he did reporting on the actual events taking place.

Taking out his commlink he began reaching out to the other Clan and House leaders he was on good terms with. The local authoirities that were leading Mandalore were not fully up to the tastk to even take on armed aruetiise. War had come back to Mandalorian space or was well on its way.

What's more, it appeared the Orary Dyn Yar did not do nearly as good of a job taking out pirates in the area. They began attacking and fighting the locals which in Kotii's mind was only going to make things worse. The Alor cursed under his breath and doned the jaig eye emblazoned helmet. The Werda Kom'rk headed towards Mandalorian space.

 

[Claudias Tannaras]

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no..." Claudias kept repeating in his own head, scrambling to his commlink. He'd just finished the report, and sweat absolutely coated his forehead. Scrambling through his contacts, he made his way to his brother's in a flash. Clicking on it, the ringing would grate against his ears, and his fear was temporarily overwhelmed by frustration. "P-pick up you son of a c-c-cruel DESPO-" he almost screamed, before the figure of Andronikas Tannaras materialized on his screen.

Lounging backwards in an office chair, the virtual figure of his brother in such a state caught him off guard, considering the circumstances. He actually felt the need to do a double take, gripping his own hair with a trembling hand. "M-my lord-" He began, before the figure of his brother raised his hand. "Titles are unnecessary, Claud. Is there an issue I've been left unaware of?" the man asked, just a slight hint of concern in that bored, drawn voice of his. Claudias blinked again, and his mouth hung open in a display of shock.

"Issue? ISSUE?! An ent-t-tire ship on M-m-mandalore just got b-blown up," Claudias began, waving his hand around like an absolute madman. "How c-c-can you n-n-nOOOOOOT be the slightest b-bit concerned ab-" Claudias tried to continue, but he was cut off again. Despite his aggressive tone, the expression on his face was one of pure fear. Andronikas shared that same bored frown he had for twenty-eight years, and let out a long sigh.

"Brother, why should I concern myself with Mandalorians blowing up ships on the other side of the galaxy? It's their own space, on their world. We possess no investments there, no-" Andronikas tried to explain, but this time, it was his brother that cut him off. "ANDY, it w-w-waaasn't just any ship! It was a ship b-b-belonging to the EMRYC THORNE OFFICIAL FANCLUB!" He exclaimed, practically screaming in his own ship at this point. His brother's eyes were wide on the other end, and his jaw temporarily hung slack.

Taking an audibly deep breathe, Andronikas Tannaras Pterygas Filias Primas at Cormondas Archaen Agoricas Prostitas at Polemistis pursed his lips.

"...and why should I be made aware of a number of teenage girls and middle aged men who have a degenerate obsession dying?" He'd ask, blinking once, with the slightest hint of a twitch in his left eye. Claudias stared at him for a few seconds longer, it being his turn to have his mouth hang agape.

"...b-because, brother, your third d-d-dAAAAUUUGHter is VICE P-PRESIDENT of that CLUB!" He exclaimed. Andronikas' expression shifted from barely contained anger to one of absolute confusion. "...my daughter runs a fanclub?" He muttered to himself, before repeating, much louder, "My daughter runs a FAN CLUB?!"

Claudias barely had time to react before Andronikas hopped out of his seat so quickly that his holo projector fell, hitting the floor. He could vaguely hear Andronikas shout "INSUBORDINA-" before he heard a shrill voice scream "BUT DAAAADDYYYYYYYY-" before the transmission was cut off.

"...my f-family is k-kriffed." was all Claudias said, wheeling himself off to the refresher.
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