Clove's life had been going well; between her first kiss, creating her own little sanctionary on Yavin 8, and getting her first few nights of sleep without nightmares, it was safe to say she was on the right path.
She'd just returned from a trip to the Melodies, which she made regularly to befriend some of the singing wonders. She swirled in the small wooden diamond-shaped cabinet with light and airy steps, a candle light covering the cottage in a warm red. It wasn't much, but it had everything she needed and wanted: some comfortable chairs, a small but functional kitchen, a closet for all her clothes, and a cozy bed right beneath the windows on the second floor, allowing her to see the endless night sky above.
It was going so well that for the first time in Force knew how long, Clove dared to open her comlink and browse the messages her friends had sent her. Many people were supportive, wishing her well in her recovery, respecting her for taking the oath and cheering her on. She answered each one individually, moving down the list until she had addressed them all. Then there was the Padawan group chat. Although she was no longer a Padawan, many of her friends still were! So they kept her in the chat for the time being, even if she was quiet.
Idly Clove began scrolling through the chatlog, giggling at the jokes and good news—the classes seemed to be doing quite well!—and frowning at the sadder news—one of the kids broke their leg during a sparring session. But then she noticed something: they were discussing a news article while sounding rather panicked. It read;
"New Alderaan has fallen"
New Alderaan had fallen? What? That had to be a lie, New Alderaan was a prime Jedi location. Clove opened the article in confusion and started to skim it, hoping that it was just some type of prank. But the further she got the paler her skin became, her stomach dropping deeper and deeper. Panic began to wash over her mind and body as her fingers danced across the screen, looking for a time stamp. Surely it was recent; she couldn't have missed the news of New Alderaan's demise. Surely it hadn't happened after the Sith broke out Altair, right? But it had. Only a few days had passed since the breakout when the article was released. The Sith stormed the planet, burning everything in their path, clearly out for revenge. An entire temple, bombed.
All because she had to imprison Altair to be a good Jedi.
She wasn't sure how long she'd been staring at her commlink in disbelief, but the stars had climbed their way up into the nightsky by the time the first scream escaped her mouth. Clove's knees buckled as the commlink flew through the air, colliding with one of the wooden walls and shattering on impact. Why? Hadn't she done everything correctly? She followed the protocols and even followed the unspoken rule of not killing unarmed prisoners. Kriff! She even tried to help Altair in escaping so that the Sith could leave sooner and with fewer casualties. So why did it turn out this way? Why did it always have to be this way?!
She knelt on the ground with her hands covering her face as if she were trying to hide from the galaxy, her shoulders shaking as sobs and screams rolled over her lips. Memories she desperately wanted to forget rushed back to her, the boulder smashing into a child and the mother screaming until her vocal cords shattered, Padawans screaming as they are carried away, corpses scattered left and right in a bloody hallway. Raze's visor and Aadya's predatory gaze, Altair's lifeless body.
She couldn't do this anymore.