Ask Iron Kowak

Davik Lorso

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New Alderaan: Six days ago

From within the pool of the Kowakian Refuge House, Davik could just glimpse over the railing of the roof terrace and see his beloved Catscratch parked on the landing pad. The iced cocktail in his hand was being closely watched by a Kowakian Monkey Lizard that seemed very interested to give the sweet drink a try, but so far it hadn't left Davik's hands long enough for it to try and nick it. Beside him in the pool sat Meera, lead-singer of the Furry Fantastics, and she looked at Davik with a look of utter dumbfounded amazement. But why? Oh right, "Let me get this right, you got millions from kidnapping the president of the Independent Systems Consortium,-" Davik ignored her. That part was old news and allowed the entire band to record a new album here on New Alderaan, that wasn't something worth her current outrage, "-got a one-hundred thousand credits bounty on your name-" with the added identifier of the Catscratch as his personal ship, something he didn't have the heart to remedy. You didn't just change the name of a ship with a storied history like that Lethisk-class Armed Freighter. "-and you decide to buy blasters in bulk because selling them to the cartel while they're at war with the Consortium is a good hussle!?"

Davik moved the cocktail to his lips and took a lazy indifferent sip, "Nor'baal was just elected ISC Governor of Kessel. He'll protect me from ISC prosecution while I move the blasters in Hutt space." Meera almost dropped her own drink in the pool when she heard her second string's careless plan, "Are you trusting a Hutt!?"

"Yes, listen-" Davik finally turned his gaze away from his ship and looked at the soaking Cathar, "Nor'baal and I have worked together before. On Quesh and even here on New Alderaan. He wouldn't do me like that. I trust him." for a little less of distance than he could throw a Hutt that was four times his size, meaning he didn't. At all. There was however one much more important factor in all of this to consider and that one he didn't really want to share with Meera or the other members of their band. He was bored. He was utterly kriffing bored.

"You got shit for brains, Davik Lorso-" Meera sighed and shook her head as she placed her glass down and let herself sink under the surface. She hadn't been out of sight for a second when two Kowakian Monkey Lizards ran forward to try and take a sip from her drink. They collided with each other near the straw, started fighting and as they wrestled each other away from the drink a third monkey lizard appeared and took a refreshing sip.

Davik watched Meera swim away from him and then returned his gaze towards his ship. It was already filled to the brim with blasters and all fueled up and ready to go. Just waiting for him to play a last song and spend a last night in a spice-filled boozed up haze of bandmembers, groupies and Kowakian Monkey Lizards. His life wasn't so bad.. but by that rodian gunslinger was it boring.
____________________________

Kessel: now

The "Wet Kitty" Lethisk-class Armed Freighter exited the Kessel Run in what was early morning on New Alderaan. For Kessel it was more like afternoon, scrambling up Davik's internal clock for the third time in four days as he started his descent to the planet proper. "Kessel Control, this is cargo freighter 'Wet Kitty' approaching pre-arranged landing pad thirteen-dash-Bantha," he said into the intership communicator as he rechecked the fake identification papers he had stickied to his cockpit console. The Catscratch had become the "Wet Kitty" and Davik Lorso had become... Lavik "Iron Kowak" Dorso. The perfect name change for the perfect con.

His landing pad was attached to the commercial palace instead of the governor's residence, which fueled some doubt and reminded the smuggler of Meera's words from a week ago. Still, he had faith in his friend. Nor'baal hadn't betrayed him yet and he could have. He was one of few people that knew Davik owned the Kowakian Refuge House on New Alderaan.

@Nor'baal

 

Nor'baal Desilijic

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Since becoming the ‘democratically elected’ governor of Kessel, Nor’baal had spent a great deal of his time brushing up on his image. He had also spent a considerable amount of time when he was not doing this, keeping a close eye on his ‘business interests’, beast breeding, racketeering, spice production and - of course, smuggling.

As such, when one of his old business associates has contacted him to request a meeting, the gargantuan Hutt simple couldn’t bring himself to say no. Sure, the man was one of the most wanted men in the ISC - but, the Hutt thought, was it a bounty or a commercial reputation score?

Yes, that sounds a lot better, Nor’baal wallowed in the radiance of his own staggering genius, as his Majordomo informed him of the arrival of one ‘Lavik Dorso’, the ‘Iron Kowak’. The man and his assistant would be escorted into the throne room by a pair of forlorn-looking Gamorreans, one of whom Davik Lavik would almost certainly recognise from a con pulled with the Hutt some time ago.

As they arrived into the throne room, Nor’baal snored, grumbled, and absently licked his lips.

He was fast asleep.
 

Davik Lorso

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For some reason Davik himself hadn't quite understood yet he had bought a protocol droid that now accompanied him into the palace. It held one of the rifles he was planning to sell to the Hutt clans for their scoundrels and slaves to wield against the ISC aggressors. The second the "Iron Kowak" recognized his good friend Dirk he started grinning from ear to ear and gave the big man a hug. "Dirk, it's been ages-" the Gamorrean seemed to recognize him as well and snort-laughed, "-we should play some Dejarik again. I assume you've practised?" Davik and Dirk had been living on the Catscratch for weeks while trying to find the Onderon Crown Jewels on Quesh and had often played Dejarik. Dirk had been awful at it. He seemed incapable of learning the rules and Davik had always felt bad for beating him, preferring to try and convince Dirk that it was a challenge by dragging the game out. His brother Durk had been much smarter -for a Gamorrean- but unfortunately he had ended up with a ship's laser canon to his face. Nor'baal's canon, to be clear.

The majordomo coughed and on they went to the throneroom where Davik saw his old friend just in the middle of a nap. The Majordomo hesitated, but Davik reassured him with a nudge and a nod, "Iron Kowak, just introduce me." The two of them went back since before the Hutt even had a majordomo and a position of power, so surely if he did have an aftersleep tantrum than it'd be directed at his own employees and not 'Lavik "Iron Kowak" Dorso'.

"Your Excellency, Mighty Governor and Supreme Being of Kessel. Your guest, the Iron Kowak as arrived."

@Nor'baal
 

Nor'baal Desilijic

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With what could only be described as a gutteral slurping noise, Nor'baals tongue lolled out of his drool crusted mouth, as his majordomo nudged him awake. With a growl, he slammd a pudgy arm into the mans chest, booming an obscenity in Huttese as the dimutive alien went spinning to floor. Scowling at the affrontery of being awoken from his slumber, the Hutt glowered at the newcomer, and then rubbed his eyes.

Seeing the man, and recognising him behind his lacklustre disguise, the Hutts face tranformed into a grin, and he boomed a deep laugh, welcoming the man. "The Iron Kowak eh? -" the Hutt did his utmost to sound even slightly convinced "- what brings you to this great jewel?" he asked, seeking to cut directly to the heart of just why his business associate had chosen to come here.
 

Davik Lorso

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As the Hutt boomed in laughter, Davik joined in with the same enthusiasm. Ofcourse the Hutt -his friend- had seen right through his disguise. "Why, you ask? Oh magnificient Nor'baal, supreme businessbeing of the Outer Rim, head-honcho of the spice mines," when one needed to sell the ruse of coming for an audience for the first time in your life, one must oversell it so make sure no one suspects the existing bonds of friendship. "To do business, ofcourse."

and when you do business with a Hutt you don't threaten or swing your own titles around. No, there's only one way to do business with a long-lived an greedy opportunistic species like the Hutt and it doesn't matter if the particular Hutt regards you as a friend or not. Always make your friendship worth his while. So as the Iron Kowak nudged to his protocol droid it was revealed that aside from the rifle it had been seen to carry he also produced a much rarer blaster from a secret compartment inside its chassis. It was a typical smuggler's trick and probably the most elaborate in Davik's arsenal. "Many years ago I heard there was a great war in which all our current intergalactic struggles pale in comparison," the smuggler and artist began with a flair of theatrics, "On the forest-planet of Kashyyyk fighting was perhaps hardest. Wookiees were seriously outnumbered and yet massacred wave on wave of enemies that were literally born and bred for battle," the aspiring arms dealing grabbed the blaster from its display in his protocol droid's chassis and showed it to the supremebing of Kessel, "The Wookiee sidearm is no longer being manufactored, but this one here was the personal sidearm of the Chief of Middle-Treetop-Village" he the blaster up so Nor'baal and everyone present could see it in all its splendor. It was polished nicely, for an old gun, and Davik hoped that everyone was now imagining this very blaster killing dozens of clones. "It is my gift to you, glorious Nor'baal."

"and I would ask you to put in a good word for me as I try and sell these rifles-" he motioned for the rifle the droid was carrying, "-to your associates-" meaning the Hutt Cartel, "-and acquintances, hoping your blessing will get me passed Independent Systems Consortium blockades if needed."


@Nor'baal
 

Nor'baal Desilijic

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Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuurp - another hygene standards violation wriggled as Nor'baals pustulent lips clamped down, soliciting a squeel from the hapless creature. The Hutt always like the discussion of business, it made him hungry, for food, credits, and blood. As the 'Iron Kowak' lavished praise upon him, Nor'baal chuckled with a low rumble. His mirth was not shared by his guards, who erupted into a tsunami of angry snorts when the mans droid opened up a hidden compartment to reveal another weapon. <Beuanka!> he raised a dirty hand, covered in the film of slime from his snackquariam, calming his guards.

"It is my gift to you, glorious Nor'baal."

<Ho! Ho! Ho!> the guards calmed as their master laughed. Not too bright, the Gamorreans were retained for their combat skill and love of violence, not their keen wit and intelligence. <Wa sanog! Wonkee, uba doth mah dan see kung.> he chuckled, before his face fell to an impassive expression as the ‘Iron Kowak’ made his petition known.

With the gift-giving out of the way, Nor’baal now had to hear what the man wanted, and he didn’t like it. The Independent Systems Consortium and the Desilijic had a complex relationship, one that mostly consisted of them ignoring his activities and him not causing any trouble. Whilst arms dealing was a most noble pursuit in Hutt society, and it could not be denied that the Cartel could always do with more weapons, helping the ‘Iron Kowak’ run a blockade of ISC ship was not something he was keen on.

But what if the ISC never found out?

Nor’baals mind whirred, a scheme forming as he contemplated the appropriate cost of taking this risk. The Hutt already had plans to bring in stims from Kessel, and the black market - when paired with some of the Nar Shaddaa pit-fighters, the combination would make for a terrifying stim-enhanced guard under the command of the Desilijic. A steady supply of weapons would only make the maintenance of that force more cost effective.

Yet the Hutt knew who this ‘Iron Kowak’ was. A man wanted for kidnapping the ISC President, a man Nor’baal thought it best to avoid crossing.

Credits. Credits would make his worries go away.

<Kuna kee saconba mi bai couet mah kulle rah dah tah ukawa? Uba saconba kiuke, Way Paahoa. Bu lhonu peekasa see mah sae gee doth pantkhee bimhee bimay gankgoy. Bai couet fa tytung dah ba can, bo da whao fa kahe koumhoiag caiot patka bu Desilijic poy... nobata nobata nobata.> he shook his head in an exaggerated expression of shock <Doth uba uai bankop bai, kabaheu tah metpa cay heee see wa cahla du tah metpa? Sey, dokeecha cay ganba, um baw wah Yih?>

@Eccles
 

Davik Lorso

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As always, the Hutt wanted more than half on an investment that would cost him nothing. He expected Nor'baal to ask too big of a cut despite the gift, but Davik had also spend enough time among Hutts to know that they didn't respect anyone that didn't at least try to haggle.

"Forty percent if your associates buy at least eighty percent of my cargo," Davik smiled. Giving away a forty percent cut just to be able to sell on worlds that were still controlled by the Hutt Cartel seemed ridiculously steep, but flatter a Hutt with a good deal and he might be less inclined to double-cross you in hope of future equally-profitable business.

"But I will further mitigate those risks, oh magnificient one, for I shall not sell my goods to factions the ISC would not allow me to sell to. Like those terrible Zaa Fenn." There, that would make sure the Hutt's clan won't actually risk anything as selling weapons -not unlike all the megacorporations do- is perfectly legal. In fact, the weapons Davik wanted to sell were also perfectly legally acquired.. from a dump store in the Core, but for the Rim they'd still be desirable equipment.

@Nor'baal
 

Nor'baal Desilijic

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Nor’baals eyes flashed with anger as the ‘Iron Kowak’ dared to haggle with him. This petulant pup! I should feed him to the Acklays. He should be honoured to be given the chance to do business with the Hutts! he shuffled on his throne, his thick tail slapping up and down in irritation.

No. Take the long view. Nor’baal reminded himself of the mantra of his species, and of his Clan, as he absent-mindedly fiddled with the signet ring on his right hand. <Uba whoma wa dan bargon, Paahoa. Fa doth bashodue bai Nor'baal.> he boomed, referring to himself in third person as he basked in his own deal-making prowess.

The plan was a good one, ensuring that even if the trades could be linked back to him, technically no laws had been broken. Nor’baal liked it. He liked it even more when the Zaa Fenn were cut out of the bargain entirely.

<Beeska mu-moolee noa-a bauban mee samou vee gepua.> the Hutt noted, as if it was obvious, before clicking his fingers and shouting <Spotchka che tee lotka, nobata, yanee- cohkamhanonka.>
 
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