Ask Onderon Room Service!

[Pootalina]

Pootalina is approaching @Altaris ...​

The Senate was in session, which meant a couple of things. One, there was heavy security centered around the Senate building. Two, if they weren’t protestors or activists, citizens were at home watching the assembly. There were few wandering eyes about, but many distracted ones.

Pootalina, along with a few members of the fan club's secret infiltration crew, had located the hotel Emryc Thorne had been staying in. They posed as patrons wanting to rent a room before attending a naked yoga convention the next day and then struck when the time was right. Pootalina and the rest of the group ended up in the security room, flipping through old camera footage in an attempt to figure out which room the half-Sephi had been staying with incapacitated employees in the closet. Between her own practiced investigative skills and the skills of her crew, it didn't take them long to locate it.

Now came the hard part. They weren't sure how difficult breaking the locks on the doors would be, so Pootalina was going to pose as a maid ("room cleaning") to get access to the man's vacant suite. Her crew was going to cut the cameras where she went, hiding her presence should her breaking in be discovered later on. So the wermal dawned a frilly maid outfit, replaced her blonde wig with a short black bob, slipped the keys taken from an unsuspecting maid into her pocket, and quickly made her way to the room.

Everyone was glued to their holoscreens, so Pootalina didn’t encounter a single soul on her trek up to Emryc’s room. When she finally reached it--room 348--she stopped and glanced towards the camera in the hallway and blinked twice with her one eye. The red light disappeared; her signal had been sent.

Pootalina pulled a keycard out from the pocket of her frilly skirt and pressed it against the lock on the door. She paid no mind to the “Do Not Disturb” tag flipped around. With a quiet click, the door unlocked.

 

[Jaikus Thorne]

While Pootalina might’ve thought the room to be empty, that could’ve have been farther from the truth. Just as he had been for hours, Jaikus was curled up on the couch of Emryc’s hotel room, legs curled underneath him while emerald eyes focused entirely upon the HoloScreen ahead. The Axxilan had arrived on the planet a few days prior to the Senate session, coordinating with his partner to spend the past few days on Onderon together. And now, the Axxilan was happily watching the half-Sephi at work.

Jaikus nursed a small cup of caf in his hands, gingerly taking small sips as he watched at live Senate session. Lounging within the comfort – and privacy – of the hotel room, the Axxilan had forwent his usual stylish way of dressing, instead opting for something far more comfortable. He wore a pair of grey sweatpants and slippers, alongside an oversized, baggy hoodie – the logo of the ‘Ryloth Rancor’s’ plastered across the front. It was a hoodie that very clearly belonged to Emryc, the half-Sephi’s familiar cologne still clinging to the fabric.

The Axxilan had discovered the demonstrators outside only a few minutes prior, very cautiously glancing through the window blinds at the quite literally hundreds of supporters that had gathered. Even from the high floor of the hotel room, their chants and voices could be heard. As such, Jaikus had naturally cranked the volume of the HoloScreen all the way up.

While it had successfully served the purpose of drowning out the demonstrators outside, it also – unfortunately – meant that Jaikus didn’t hear the door unlocking when Pootalina pressed the keycard to the panel. His back was facing the room entrance, and due to his attention being on what he was watching entirely, the Axxilan didn’t immediately sense the Wermal maid through the Force.

Pootalina was approaching, and for the moment, Jaikus remained blissfully unaware.

@lizziie

 

[Pootalina]

The giant wermal pushed her way into the room, taking in a long and full breath as she did so. She wanted to savor the aroma of the room, to find and pick out any notes of the man's delectable scent, and to relish in the smell of it. So that she did.

The fragrance of a very specific brand of cologne hung in the air near the door, sending a flurry of dizziness up into Pootalina's head. She threw her stubby hands to her chest and nearly sighed aloud imagining how good that cologne would smell if she were wrapped up in his arms. She fluttered her eyelashes and gazed up to the ceiling as she pictured Emryc looking down at her with those gorgeous silver eyes of his. 'Ooh, Emryc! My dearest beloved! 'Oh, Pootalina, my wermy-woo!'

The wermal's eye fell down to observe the room before her and was immediately drawn to the glow of the tv farther in the room. It drifted left until it landed on a man sitting on the couch across from it. She observed two things: one, he looked incredibly similar to the gunman at the figurine sale, and he was wearing an oversized sweatshirt. 'THAT LOOKS LIKE IT BELONGS TO MY BELOVED!"

Rage filled her like a fire fueled by gasoline, broiling underneath the surface of her sticky, leathery skin. The pressure that built up inside of her collected in her intestines and quickly expelled itself from her in a mist of gas that fluttered out from underneath her frilly skirt. It began as a quiet whooshing of air, then began to whine as it came out with increasing pressure, then ended wet and rhythmic. The sound would surely catch Jaikus' attention, even over the tv, and her single blue eye would make quick contact with his.

After several moments of silence, the wermal would widen her mouth hole to a smile, showcasing her one tooth, and squeal, "ROOM SERVICE!" She pulled a feather duster from her skirt pocket as she began to hobble further into the room, dusting random objects as she passed by and grew closer to the man who was not Emryc. She stopped before she came within six feet of him, her attention caught by a pair of handcuffs which were seated on a dresser right next to... well...

tag: @Altaris

 

[Jaikus Thorne]

With his back turned to the door, Jaikus was – for a few more moments, at least – blissfully unaware of Pootalina’s sinister approach. While the devil herself crossed the threshold into the hotel room, Jaikus kept his eyes upon the HoloScreen in front of him – seeming to brighten up significantly when the camera briefly panned to his partner.

Naturally, as the wermal took a steps into the room, she would be able to get a better look Jaikus. Within the comfort and privacy of the room, the Axxilan had forwent the contacts that he usually wore and sported a pair of dark framed, dorky glasses that rested gently on the bridge of his nose. His hair, rather than being straightened and styled into place, took on the natural curls he had been born with – tumbling over his forehead in loose ringlets and peaking out around the brim of his hood.

Axxila was exceptionally warm planet, and it was no secret that Jaikus was a complete wimp about the cold. Rather than adjusting the thermostat, however, he staved off the chill by bundling up with multiple layers. The Rancor’s hoodie, sweats and fuzzy slippers were accompanied with a blanket pulled over the Axxilan’s knees, a bowl of veggie snacks resting between his legs.

There was genuine happiness on the Axxilan’s face as he watched the screen in front of him, frumpy as one could be. Of course, his giddiness and sense of comfort were completely dashed as a sudden, low whine began to fill the air – the sickening wet sound causing a bit of color to drain from the Axxilan’s bronzed face. His attention was finally drawn away from the HoloScreen, and Jaikus could feel the presence looming behind him through the Force.

Immediately, the Axxilan whipped around on the couch – emerald eyes fixating onto the exceptionally large intruder. There were so, so many questions that flashed across Jaikus’ mind at that moment – his thoughts moving a million miles an hour.

Who was she?

What was she?

What horrific genetic mutation had resulted in this particular wermal – a naturally stocky race - being as large for quite literally no good reason? What ancient Sith spirit had Jaikus pissed off that justified sending this woman to haunt him? Jaikus found himself spiraling into his thoughts, leaving a mixture of pure terror and sick fascination contorting across his features. Nothing but silence would pass between them, and the Axxilan could do nothing but stare at that single, devilish blue eye.

And then the smell hit him.

It was as the pits of hell had opened up within the comfort of his hotel room – flooding the interior with noxious gas. It smelt as if rotting flesh, bantha dung and mold had been blended together and vaporized, manifesting as the mist that sprayed out from beneath that frilly skirt. It was wrong. It went against the very laws of nature. It was biological warfare, and it had been cruelly unleashed upon Jaikus when the man was at his most vulnerable.

It took everything Jaikus had not to gag, though he could not control the way his eyes began to water from the gas. He watched, in stunned silence, as Pootalina pulled out a feather duster and waddled her way into the room, dusting random objects as she went.

It was at that precise moment that Jaikus remembered the emergency beacon positioned on the table to his left. While Emryc never elaborated on what it actually did, the half-Sephi had left it with Jaikus all the same – to use in case of some emergency – knowing full well that, in his public persona, the Axxilan was entirely helpless and unable to utilize the Force.

He blinked a few times, watching as Pootalina got a bit closer. Emerald eyes followed her single blue, and there was a brief flush of red against his cheeks when the Wermal made eye-contact with the pair of handcuffs left on the dresser. Jaikus finally pushed himself the couch just then – making it clear that he was not going to tolerate her coming any closer or perusing through their belongings.

“No, thank you.” He said smoothly, doing his damnedest to maintain a straight, mostly polite expression. He subtly reached down to the side table, snatching up the emergency beacon and keeping it tucked into his palm. He didn’t use it, yet, hoping to handle the situation quietly.

“There is no need for room service. You can come back later.” That was a lie. There was no chance in hell that Jaikus was going to allow Pootalina to come anywhere near this room again.

@lizziie

 

[Pootalina]

If Jaikus was a bit flushed, Pootalina was outright blushing. Her sticky, leathery skin reddened and became just as red as the blush on her cheeks. Those were toys! Images flashed through the wermal's head, scenes starring her and Emryc, up until the stranger suddenly stood up and approached her. Her eye, that singular blue orb, slowly rotated to fixate on the man's face. Her entire demeanor changed at that moment, though her body language was likely uninterpretable to the human. Though she stood facing the dresser, her head turned a perfect ninety degrees, centering her gaze on the dark-haired man.

"No need for room service?" repeated the wermal in her high-pitched, raspy voice. Her eye panned across the room once before settling back on the man. What was he doing here? Why was he wearing a hoodie that was so obviously not his size? That was her Emy-poo's hoodie. Pootalina kept staring at him for a few more moments, silent as a mouse, then turned her body to face him. She had an absolute death grip on that feather duster.

'My Beloved has a secret man.' Slowly her eye looked Jaikus up and down, then blinked. She was insanely jealous, but the more she looked at this man, the less angry she grew. He was actually quite good-looking himself. '...if Emryc likes him, then...'

Well, Pootlina had certainly never considered polygamy before this moment. Oh, the thought of it! The flushed skin had just disappeared from her face, but it swiftly returned. 'Is it just me, or is it a bit warm in here?'

"No need for room service. Of course, my bad! I will absolutely, one-hundred percent, come back later!" Pootalina made no attempt to move quite yet. 'Damnit! She had come here for a reason and now her plans were stumped! This man was certainly fine--if Emryc liked him then he must be attractive--but he was also certainly a nuisance at this moment! 'Is there anything I could nab without him seeing?'

tag: @Altaris

 

[Jaikus Thorne]

Why?

Just why? Jaikus couldn’t help but ask himself that same question silently in his mind, repeating over and over again as he stared at Pootalina. It was a desperate cry to the heavens that had cruelly gone unanswered. A search for an answer as to why this was happening to him. Analytical by his very nature, Jaikus’ frequent spiraling thoughts worked against him – each horrifying thought passing across his psyche one after the other.

Where did she come from?

From the pits of hell? Judging purely upon the smell, perhaps an Iziz sewer? Or maybe she had escaped from Dathomir – one of the Empress’ Sith abominations gone horribly wrong? They were all possibilities in Jaikus’ mind. Perhaps most terrifying was that, just as likely, Pootalina’s mere existence wasn’t some vile perversion of the laws of nature. That somehow, someway, the woman was perfectly normal. Moving beyond the where, Jaikus shifted to an equally horrifying question.

What does she want?

What was Pootalina’s purpose? What motivated her to be what she was? In the days prior to the Senate session, Jaikus had gotten his first up-close-and-personal interactions with Emryc’s fanatical fanclub. He had seen them huddled around their speeder, and he had seen them only a few minutes ago – swarming like locusts at the base of the hotel. Was she a member of the fan club – so fanatical as to ignore as to ignore all boundaries of privacy? Or was she something else entire? Was there deeper, sinister purpose behind her mysterious appearance?

Jaikus stared for several long seconds, unable to mask the thoroughly uncomfortable and horrified expression that cracked through his polite mask. There were few places that the Axxilan was ever so comfortable – so vulnerable – as when he was around his partner, and to have his privacy invaded in such a way was deeply unsettling.

Almost as unsettling as the way her head rotated towards him like some kind of demonic Convor.

His gaze followed Pootalina’s, settling upon the pair of handcuffs that had been left on the dresser, alongside several other items that had been left out. It was clear that neither Jaikus nor Emryc had expected company, and hadn’t actually gone through the trouble of putting things out of sight. Emeralds eventually flicked over to one of the draws that had been left open, fixating upon the remnants of an ‘outfit’ which had been placed inside. It was far too small to be anything Emryc had worn.

The flush of red against Jaikus cheeks spread across the rest of his face, suddenly feeling the intense urge to get the woman out of the room as quickly as physically possible. This urge was only intensified when he clearly noted the redness on the wermals face, panic immediately flashing across his features. Rather than interpreting it as the woman blushing, Jaikus was suddenly convinced that the change in color was a warning of her damn-near-lethal gastrointestinal difficulties.

A nuclear weapon about to go off, and Jaikus needed to act quickly. He took a step forward, extending his hand towards the door, kindly – yet firmly – gesturing Pootalina towards the door – kind of shooing her along without ever actually touching her.

“I am sure you will.” And he was. Jaikus was convinced that the woman would attempt to come back later – even if she had to spider-crawl up to their window with her large, sticky hands. It was a thought that sent a chill down his spine.

“Okaaaayyyyyy time to go now goodbye...” He kept that beacon tucked in his left hand. Just in case.

@lizziie

 

[Pootalina]

He was shooing her out! She had to act now!

"On my way~!" chirped the wermal as she turned around to leave. She would leave, but not yet. As soon as her back was turned, Pootalina took advantage of her large frame to hide her hand as she motioned with it. There was a vase in the far corner of the room that she had noticed, and with a quick flick of her wrist, it would shatter into a thousand pieces. The noise was much louder than she would've expected, but it was a welcome surprise.

As soon as she saw Jaikus turn around to see what had made such a noise, Pootalina would quickly snatch an item off the table and hurry her stinky ass toward the door. The adrenaline which filled her veins also filled the air around her, and as the wermal made her escape the air was filled with a foul scent once again. If rot had a son with mold, he would be like the smell she had just released.

The door was flung open and Pootalina ran out into the hallway. Her eye checked to make sure the camera was watching, and it was. She signaled, and when the door behind her closed, it shut with a click! of the lock being activated by the building security system. Jaikus would still be able to get out, but it would give her time to skedaddle before he could manually unlock it.

If he even followed that was. Pootalina wasn't worried though. She had her prize in her hand, a team in the security room to mask her escape.

tag: @Altaris

 

[Jaikus Thorne]

Jaikus couldn’t deny feeling some sense of relief when Pootalina – finally - began to make her way out of the room. The Axxilan was thoroughly convinced at this point that the wermal was not a hotel employee, and her presence was thoroughly unsettling at this point. There were so many questions that still lingered in Jaikus mind – about the very nature of Pootalina, who she was, and what she wanted.

Quite frankly, the Axxilan really wasn’t sure he wanted the answers. What he was positive on, though, was his desire to see the wermal vacate as quickly as physically possible.

His momentary relief was abruptly cut short by the faintest ripples through the Force – echoing against his psyche and causing him to narrow his eyes harshly upon the wermal, the faintest tinges of citrine molting his otherwise emerald gaze.

The mere concept that Pootalina was a Force user was horrifying, but her application of it was far from refined. Jaikus had spent the better part his adult life refining his skills as a Sith, and it meant that he immediately sensed what the wermal was doing – even before she shattered the vase.

As a result, Jaikus never actually turned around to look for the source of the noise. He knew exactly what had just happened, and he kept his eyes fixated solely upon the woman who caused it. Of course, this meant that he had a full view of her swiping the handcuffs from the dresser.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing!?” He snapped, his polite demeanor vanishing in an instant as his eyes narrowed harshly upon the wermal. While Pootalina hadn’t taken anything valuable, per say, the fact that she’d taken anything that belonged to him and Emryc – and in this case, something intimate - was enough to make Jaikus’ blood boil.

He immediately began to step after the woman, but was stopped dead in his tracks when the smell hit him once more. While it wasn’t the first time the Axxilan had been subjected to the biological warfare that was Pootalina’s ass-fumes, Jaikus was at significant closer range this time – and the scent alone was enough to stagger him for several seconds.

While Pootalina made her escape with her prize, Jaikus could do nothing but double over while bracing himself against the wall, dry heaving as the smell assaulted his nostrils and likely melted every nosehair he had. By the time he recovered, Pootalina had already made it out the door and the lock had engaged.

Jaikus briefly considered running after the wermal before glancing down to his hands, emeralds fixating onto the security beacon he’d been hauling around since she arrived. The Axxilan had no doubt that Emryc’s private security detail could apprehend the wermal even if she'd made it out of the room, but he also knew that the woman wouldn't go down quietly.

She would be tackled, arrested, and would cause a scene while doing so. And the last thing Jaikus needed was anything about this incident leaking to the tabloids.

Weighing his options, Jaikus finally tucked the security beacon back into his pocket - cursing under his breath. For a solid minute, the Axxilan remained exactly where he was standing, staring at the door - as if looking for an explanation of what had just occurred. He blinked a few times, mumbling under his breath.

"What the fuck just happened.."

/endthread(..?)

@lizziie