The Progenitor

[Bastilo Marshall]

The Progenitor
"A giant firaxan shark? can it be..."
"Impossible! it's only a legend."
"But he said he killed it... didn't he"
-Court on Manaan

Site Lore
History
The Progenitor was a large female firaxan shark that lived in the waters of Manaan but mostly at the Hrakert rift. She was believed to be somehow responsible for producing kolto and was the center of the importance and creation of the Selkath who believed her to be the ancestor of their species. The Selkath also believed her to be the guardian of kolto.The Progenitor is important to the Selkath for its ability to make kolto that they harvest and the Progenitor created them.

(From what I know) After a was dropped into an object radiating unstable energy (not force energy) a female firaxan shark came in contact with the object and from it's overwhelming energy it mutated the firaxan shark into a large one which then over the years created the Selkath species. It has capabilities of creating a flock of sharks to protect her when she needed and protection and living longer as well.
Home
The firaxan shark roam's the water's around Manaan bust mostly appears around facilities and factories. She also appears around force sensitives on top or under the water. Especially Hrakert Rift.
Appearance
A Proto-firaxan shark that's 5 times larger than other shark's with orange skin and female.
Abilities​

• Control over Firaxan sharks to form flocks.
• Produces Kolto.
• Feed's off Kolto to live longer.
• Can telepathically send a signal that makes Selkath go insane and sharks more agrresive.

Weaknesses​

• Sonic pulses

Intent
Since from what I know that the Progenitor of Firaxan sharks in general aren't well known I wanted to promote it. It may also add a problem or a new interest in manaan as well as adding more variety to what you can do there. Plus the Progenitor is an awesome animal.​

 

[Darasuum]

that font color...it hurts. please change it to something more...pleasant.

 

[Bastilo Marshall]

:L ok then I guess I'll change it... maybe.

 

[Darasuum]

:L ok then I guess I'll change it... maybe.

>:-( ... it's worse now.

 

[Bastilo Marshall]

I was fiddling with it I thought it would be perty.

 

[Bastilo Marshall]

Its fixed now.

 

[Outlander]

Just wanted to point out that Revan, Malak, the Star Forge, and the Star Map aren't canon currently.

 

[Malon]

I am conflicted about approving this. There is going to have to be a few (rather sizable) changes before my mind is made up. The most serious of these is that you've copied Wookieepedia's entry on this creature for the History, which is not okay. The creature's abilities are also trouble. The Progenitor in Legends has no power to use the Force, no ability to sense those who use the Force, and no ability to control others of its species. They flock to her and defend her, yes, and the Selkath suspect her of being able to control the other sharks, but there's no really evidence of it.

As to your Intent, as others have indicated: Revan, Malak, and the Star Forge aren't (currently) canon anymore. So I can't really approve this on that basis.

 

[Bastilo Marshall]

I improved it, thanks for telling me.

 

[Malon]

You still need to get rid of references to a Rakata Star Map. Those don't exist in canon (yet), and not on our site either. I'm also still noticing parts of this taken directly from Wookieepedia. If this article is going to reflect Mythology, and not a species, then I would really change the direction away from what the whale is to why it is important to the Selkath. It's a mythological figure, right? Explore that and I think you'll fix most of the issues with this submission.

 

[Bastilo Marshall]

Can I mention just the star map for its history?

 

[Malon]

Can I mention just the star map for its history?

I wouldn't, no. The star maps simply aren't a thing anymore, so their supernatural effect on a creature is a moot point.

 

[Bastilo Marshall]

It's been improved

 

[Outlander]

It's been improved

It still directly mentions the Star Map.

 

[Bastilo Marshall]

Improved.

 

[Wit]

Might I suggest taking a break from all these faction/tech/lore write-ups and simply RPing with your characters for a bit? You've not had any of them approved from what I can see, often because you don't have enough info or are using things that aren't allowed. It might be better to get more familiar with how things work here before trying your hands at trickier things.

 

[Bastilo Marshall]

At the moment I'm working in my workshop so usually I don't have time to do RP's and some RP's don't catch my interest and I'm waiting for Malon to look at my Sith again.

 

[Wit]

At the moment I'm working in my workshop so usually I don't have time to do RP's and some RP's don't catch my interest and I'm waiting for Malon to look at my Sith again.

If you're not RPing then what's the point of working in the workshop? This is a RP site after all, take advantage of that.

 

[Bastilo Marshall]

Well I am RPing you actually caught at the time when I'm about to be done with the workshop for now.

 

[Malon]

Unfortunately, I have to agree with Wit here. I think you need to spend a bit of time accustoming yourself to the site and the RP before you hop into the Lore/Species/Planet boards. I think your heart is in the right place, but your ideas are all over the place—scattered, and not very well thought-out. That concerns me and makes me less-inclined to approve them.

I am going to archive your present entries for now. What I would like you to do is go and gather examples of other Lore articles/Planet articles/Species articles and flesh out your ideas in the workshop. While you're doing that, hop into a healthy number of RPs and figure out how things work here; get involved with the community.

Then, when you are done, come back and give this another go and I promise it'll turn out a lot better.