Ask Yavin IV The Sun Will Shine On Us Again

[Maiko Sigur]

♫​

The Force had been unheeding of his pleas for clarity and help the moment he'd heard word that Master Alex and Master Tionson have finally returned from their journey to Ajan Kloss.

Maiko never liked making assumptions, but when his Master dropped him off to the Jedi Temple on Yavin-IV with only a word about herself traveling to Ajan Kloss the young Padawan's mind jumped from one harrowing thought to another. What was Master Alex's business on that moon? Had the Sith returned to the corrupted temple and she was sent to fight them off? Was she sent back there to do something about the Darkness that now corrupted the place he had called his second home?

His ever growing concern for his Master had made him aloof. For the whole duration of her absence Maiko had withdrawn to himself, for once turning away the thought of company and spending his time either wandering alone down the hallways, hiding in the library, and pleading for the Force to keep his Master safe. The young Padawan had also actively avoided Grandpa Rupert's usual routes in the Temple, knowing full well that the old Morellian Knight would be concerned about Maiko's behaviour. No, he couldn't be a burden. Not to Grandpa Rupert, not to his friends, and most certainly not to his Master.

Master Alex instructed him to train and meditate while she was away, but his worry for her kept distracting him. It was rather unbecoming of the Padawan she expected him to be, and for that he felt ashamed. Maybe it was one of the reasons why he kept on putting off with visiting her when she finally returned to Yavin-IV.

He'd heard of the injuries Master Tionson received after their mission to Ajan Kloss. And Maiko feared that he would see the same injuries on Master Alex – regardless if said injuries were physical or not.

Maybe he should've expressed his desire to accompany her to that mission. With two fully trained Jedi – one a Knight and the other a Master – Maiko knew that his presence would not change nor contribute to anything. Heck, he knew he would be a liability to them, even. But he still couldn't stop the guilt and the worry that was starting to fester in his heart. It was unbecoming of him, aspiring to be a great healer and all, but he was also young and wore his heart on his sleeve. He had already lost Master Atuvrak, and while Master Alex had returned from Ajan Kloss he could not help but fear that whatever she had experienced there would also end up with Maiko losing her.

The fear that ate at him during and after the tragedy on Ajan Kloss reared its ugly head as he stepped out into the sunlit courtyard to meet Master Alex. He knew that she hated the feeling of being trapped within the Temple, and so he followed her presence through the Force until it led him outside. The courtyard was mercifully empty, save for his Master who stood from a distance. His heart pounded against his sternum at the sight of her, and once more guilt rose in his chest.

What kind of a Padawan was he for not even coming to his Master's side when she returned from a dangerous mission? What kind of a Padawan was he for avoiding visiting her, for even excusing his worries and fears with something as laughable as giving his Master time and space to herself?

He had made a promise to walk by her side, and what was he doing now?

Tears filled Maiko's eyes as he mustered the courage to take a step forward, then another, closing the distance between him and Master Alex. He felt silly for wanting to cry, so he blinked the tears away until his vision was not clouded anymore. But it was only a matter of time before the tears would show once again, and he could only try to hold them off even just for a little bit.

"Master?" he called out to her hesitantly, his hands finding purchase with one another, fingers twisting and twining against one another to somehow redirect his anxiety.

@Valen Pelora

 

[Alexandria Voran]

Sleep. Why couldn’t she sleep. Flashes of Ajan Kloss whipped through Alex’s mind each night. They contained the curse, cleansed the Temple, and Max had survived. She had poured her soul into keeping the Jedi Master upright during their return to the Yavin Temple. Max’s connection to the Force had been altered in some way, but he assured her he would be fine. Alex could admit that was beyond her skills. The curse had lingered in her mind. Yet, she should have been free the moment they locked the Darkness in the kyber. Still, she was plagued by nightmares.

Deep seeded fears had been brought forth by tricks played on her mind. Fears she thought long defeated. Fears there were merely suppressed. The curse had ripped through every insecurity she felt upon her return to the Order. She shook her head. They should have been more careful. Max had his arm withered and Alex’s mind twisted with anxiety. They had only been home a short time, she just needed time. There was bound to be cost they had to pay. She would be fine. She always was.

Alex leaned against the courtyard all. The fresh air did her good. Her robes were freshly pressed, but dark circles hung around her eyes. Her auburn hair an oddly tangled mess. She looked a little worse for the wear. Rest and time. That was all she needed. Max and Alex had accomplished a truly great working of the Force. The recovery would be arduous. The Morellian Jedi had of course left a note for Maiko upon her return. She knew her student had wished to accompany her, but that was not a risk she had been willing to take. There were some things Maiko was not ready to see. Part her responsibilities were know that truth. She lifted her eyes as she sensed her Padawan approach. Alex pushed off the wall to stand straight. She smiled softly even as she saw the budding tears in Maiko’s eyes.

“Maiko…” Her voice was soft. “I am fine.” Max’s condition was quickly spreading through the Temple. Her smile widened. “Look at me…not a scratch.” None that could be seen. “There is nothing to fear young one, but I sense…conflict.” Oh, she knew that feels. The guilt creeping up inside.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Maiko Sigur]

Any other time that she would call him, acknowledge him and speak his name with the familiar embrace of her soft voice that reminded him of his Mother's, Maiko would have responded with a smile brighter than a newborn star. But the exhaustion on his Master's face that was a stark contrast to the pristine neatness of her robes only served to make the young Padawan feel all the more guilty for putting off this meeting for as long as he could. She could assure him with her words, but instead of the intended effect it only made him feel worse.

No, he was not angry with his Master for trying to assure him when she did not physically look fine. A healer should always know that injuries and pain did not always have to be physical. He did not know what kind of horrors Master Alex had faced on Ajan Kloss, but he could see and feel that they lingered with her – more so when, one night, he first felt her pain and fears through their growing bond through the Force.

He was far from being angry, nor was he disappointed. But there was something that was gnawing in his heart, and his Master had just supplied him with the emotion he was feeling ever since she returned to Yavin IV.

Conflict.

Master Alex was smiling at him, and yet Maiko could not find the strength to return it. He was progressively feeling worse that she had to be the one to offer him comfort when it had to be the other way around, and the tears that fell freely down his cheeks did not help.

"Y-You say that now," he told her with mounting defiance, gaze avoiding hers and instead fixing on the ground before them. "But it's okay if you tell me t-that you're not, Master! I felt you! I feel you! It's okay to not be okay, Master, because I'm here for you!"

He took a step forward, and his hands would reach out to clutch the hem of the sleeves of her robes. Like a child who wanted to make things right for his parents – he was loud, a little demanding, and almost sounding irrational as hot tears spilled from his eyes. His concern and fear for his Master's well-being, amplified by his guilt for not being there for her, pulsing with increasing intensity through the Force. What had his parents told him about bottling up negative emotions? He had been doing exactly that these past few days, and he knew it would not do him good to keep those emotions locked in. The young Padawan needed to get them out, because it would only spell trouble and danger for someone like him who felt too much and too deeply.

"I should've been there with you, I should be sharing the burden you're carrying! Please don't tell me that there is nothing to fear, because there is something! I'm—"

The massacre on Ajan Kloss flashed in his mind, and Maiko winced at the memory through his tears. The day he lost Master Atuvrak, and the younglings who called him brother. Master Alex's return to that desecrated place, fighting off with Master Tionson whatever horrors the Sith left behind. Master Tionson, losing an arm on the process, and while the young Padawan's Master returned whole, who knew what that mission did to her mind? She was physically whole, yes, but what about her heart?

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you! I'm sorry for avoiding you, for letting my fears get the better of me! The day I met you, Master, I promised myself that I would always be there for you... but–"

A heartbroken sob slipped past his lips and Maiko would rush forward, his forehead resting on her left shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Master Alex... I'm so, so sorry..."

@Valen Pelora

 

[Alexandria Voran]

Maiko’s emotions battered against Alex’s sense in the Force. They dove deep into her soul, amplifying her own feelings of sadness. That would not do. She gently removed her Force presence from the tangle of Maiko’s pain. She withdrew quietly into herself, placing her mental walls high. Maiko would sense nothing of the torrent raging beneath the surface. He would feel only the placid lake on top. Alex was supposed to protect him…she would. The Jedi Knight wrapped her arms around him. The Order had long since put aside their fear of emotion. There was no need to bury everything you felt. Ironic.

“I’m safe Maiko…I’m home.” She gently patted his head. “Master Tionson was with me and we had each other.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I was not alone.” Sobs wracked her young student. “You have done nothing wrong.” Alex grimaced slightly. She must really look worse than she thought. “I am exhausted from working the Force in a way I never thought possible, but I am here.” She took a small step back so that she could look at Maiko’s face. “There are some things you are not ready for and you must accept that truth.” She looked him directly in the eyes, putting her right hand under his chin to lift it up.

“Failure is not weakness, it is growth. Yet, it would have been terribly wrong of me to put you in a situation when you are not yet ready.” Time for some truth. “I was not ready.” Both her eyebrows shot up as she gave him a short nod. “I would have failed alone.” There was no galaxy where she could have contained the curse without Max. “There is nothing for you to apologize for…you are here for me now…and these are my choices.” She pulled Maiko into a hug. “We are team but we both must accept there are some paths we walk alone.” Alex new this was not easy on Maiko. Kriff, it was hard on her.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Maiko Sigur]

He knew his sadness was amplifying his Master's, knew full well that it was unfair of him to just keep it out in the open and through the Force instead of blocking it out to spare her. She had just recently dealt with something terrible and yet here Maiko was, being a burden exactly just as he had feared. The young Padawan withdrew into himself in time with Master Alex but not as gentle nor as careful as she did.

But what was the point of finally meeting her for the first time in days if he chose to put a wall between them? To hide from her what he felt? Wouldn't withdrawing to himself, to keep his fears and worry hidden from her, diminish the growing bond between them?

Maiko grounded himself on Master Alex's presence in the Force. Kept his emotions in check but not to the point of blocking her out. People connected because they felt, his Dad always told him the moment they discovered that Maiko was Force-sensitive. The teen could connect to other people in more ways than one, more profoundly than his own family could ever fathom because of the Force. The Jedi were now allowed to feel, to embrace their emotions, unlike the Order of old. The young Padawan leaned into his Master's embrace, unable to control his tears as he listened to her speak.

He believed in her.

When she stepped back to look at him, Maiko hesitantly met her gaze. Her words held truth. There were still things that went beyond his understanding, nor his capacity to accept and move on from. He was still learning about a lot of different things, from being a Jedi, building connections, and above all a good healer. The right thing to do was to understand and accept the truth to his Master's words, and yet Maiko did not because it was the right thing to do. He understood, he accepted, because it was the truth. He was still young by any and all standards, he still had a lot to learn, and he would graciously accept this truth.

"I understand, Master," he told her, quiet but sincere in his words. Maiko lifted a hand to wipe his tears away with the sleeve of his robe. There was no shame in crying, but he would stop. For now. There was no need to add to the burden his Master was carrying. He was her student, not another problem to add to her own. "You're right. There are things that I... I'm not ready for. Not yet. B-But I promise to work hard, to learn, so that one day you may not have to go without me. Until then... U-Until then, I will always wait upon your return." A watery smile crossed his face. "I will wait and be there for you when you return home."

Brown eyes widened with a mix of surprise and disbelief at Master Alex's admission. To hear that she wasn't ready – had the temple on Ajan Kloss been so steeped with the Sith's curse that she felt as if was now carrying a piece of it with her? For her to sound so certain that she wouldn't have been able to succeed without help almost brought his fears bubbling back up on the surface again. What if she had been alone? What if there was no one to help her? There was no time to dwell on what ifs, however, and perhaps he should pay Master Tionson a visit. To thank the Jedi Master for being there for Master Alex – for being someone who stood beside her in the face of the evil that had been left on the temple they used to call home.

Ever accepting and understanding, Maiko wrapped his arms around her Master's shoulder to reciprocate her embrace. He laid his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes, his sadness receding and being replaced by gratitude, understanding, and peace.

"I respect your choices, Master, and I understand." His arms tightened around her briefly, eyes falling shut as he tried to live up to the words he had just uttered. It was hard for him, just as Master Alex had expected. He'd promised to be there with her, for her, and to watch her take a path he couldn't follow and wait anxiously for her return felt painful. But it was also his promise that gave him reassurance. One day, he will be strong enough to follow and walk beside her – not now, at least not yet. But one day...

He looked forward to it.

"I'm sorry for making you worry, Master," he apologized nonetheless. Maiko opened his eyes and lifted his gaze to meet hers, gently extricating himself from her embrace but still holding her at arm's length. She had just told him that there were things he didn't understand and weren't ready for yet, and he would begin to learn now by taking the first step.

"Master Alex... please tell me what you and Master Tionson faced on Ajan Kloss. I need to know, so that I may understand. So that I'll know how to be of help to you and to others in the future."

@Valen Pelora

 

[Alexandria Voran]

Alex’s pain bubbled softly beneath the surface. She knew she could only ignore her scars for so much longer. They would show if she was not careful, but her mind was disciplined. Six decades as a Jedi made it easy for her to calm her surface thoughts. These battles were her own. She did not need to burden her young apprentice. Still, his concern was heartwarming. A piece of Alex felt her bond with Maiko growing. The young Jedi was talented. Her own failure could not disrupt his path. She knew she was not in this along, but Alex could not bring herself to burden the Padawan.


“We care for each other…it is only natural to worry.” She smiled softly again. “But we also must trust each other. I trust you will make the right choices as you must trust me.” It was not her job to make Maiko a perfect Jedi. Rather, she would give him the tools to stand on his own. “I should have told you where I was going and why, so that you could better understand.” The Jedi Knight still would not have allowed Maiko to join her, but it may have eased his mind. “I am far from perfect.” The Curse had reminded her of that over and over again. That whisper would not leave her mind.


“Truthfully Maiko…I am uncertain what we faced.” Her eyes shifted downward. She struggled to put into words the war they had fought in their mind. “The Sith left something terrible behind, a horrible scar on the Force…” Her mind froze for a second. “A scar on the Temple.” Alex shook her head slowly. “I still do not fully understand what we faced. It was like a piece of the Darkside itself, feeding on our minds.” A shiver raced up her mind. “It was a Curse designed to taint any who arrived and it nearly took me.” Her mind did not want to remember. She did not want to remember. “We were able to trap it within broken kyber but the Curse still lives.” She shuddered again. A terrible feeling in her heart.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Maiko Sigur]

With each soft smile she sent his way Maiko felt his fears and worry diminish, more so his previous guilt. He wiped the remnants of his tears with his sleeve and returned Master Alex's smile, now resembling his usual sunshine ones.

The young Padawan, truthfully so, trusted his Master the moment she accepted him as her student. He'd trusted her even if he had no idea where she went and what she did at Ajan Kloss. But he couldn't say the same for himself – unable to put his trust inwards, to himself, as he spent their time apart worrying and fearing the worst. He had faith in his Master, just... not much with himself. It was why he worried so much, why he let the fear of losing someone important haunt him when he and his Master were apart.

Perhaps he should start trusting himself not to overthink, to not let his fear get the better of him. Fear was healthy, his Dad reminded him once. It made you cautious and protective of those you keep in your heart. But too much fear, Jeritt also said, could be debilitating. Being afraid was normal, but to let it consume you?

"We're all far from perfect," he gently consoled her, with a warmth to his smile and acceptance in his words. "No one is. But I think that's what makes you strong. What makes you good. It means we're all continuously making choices and decisions that keeps us on the right path. Master Atuvrak told me that there will always be no such thing as perfection, and..."

His cheeks turned red at his own words, surprising himself that he sounded like he was lecturing a fully trained and experienced Jedi. The young Padawan's expression turned sheepish and apologetic, hoping (but already knowing) that Master Alex would not take offense. Maiko mustered an apologetic smile to offer to his Master, feeling that he had used up all of his "I'm sorry!" cards and saying the words one more time within the span of time of their ongoing conversation felt very awkward. He still wasn't done apologizing today, but still...

Maiko let his Master talk and share what she had experienced on Ajan Kloss. It made his chest hurt, the way she seemed to struggle with her words as she told him what happened. There was an uncertainty as to what she and Master Tionson faced on their desecrated home. Only then did Maiko fully understand the gravity of theo two Masters' mission and while a part of him still wished that he could have been there, the fact that he wouldn't be just a liability but a casualty became crystal clear.

Taking one of Master Alex's hands in his, Maiko took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He sent calm and peace through their connection to the Force, hoping to alleviate the negative feelings that he could feel stirring in her mind and heart. He did promise her that he would be there for her, and he was more than ready to renew that now.

"Maybe one day the Curse can be fully banished," he said softly. "Not now, maybe not even tomorrow or the following weeks, months, or years after."

He reopened his eyes and gazed at his Master with renewed determination and admiration.

"I promise to do my best to learn under your tutelage, and maybe someday I can..." Maiko's smile was hopeful and resolute. "Maybe someday I'll be able to help you cleanse or banish it. Maybe someday... no. One day, I will be a healer you can be proud of, Master. This isn't a promise, because I aim to fulfill it."

@Valen Pelora

 

[Alexandria Voran]

Alex listened carefully as her young student spoke. It was far too easy to play the role of Wise Master, untouched by the fear gripping her heart. That was a false choice. Teaching was about more than being a sterling example. It was about more than being a shinning pillar of greatness. She had faults. She had failures she wished to correct. Those were teaching moments. Alex could not bring herself to allow Maiko to see the extent of her failure, of the darkness growing in her mind, but she could show him a piece. She trusted her Padawan. “I do not know that I will ever overcome what I saw in the ruined Temple.” The Knight patted Maiko’s hand fondly. “But I understand now more than ever before what you saw when the world fell apart.” If there was one silver lining, it was that she finally could begin to understand just what Maiko had been through.

“It can feel so lonely…as if we fight these battles on our own.” She shook her head slowly. “But we don’t. You and I must both remember we are never alone.” Her right hand gestured all around them. “We have each other and we have the Order…we are family.” Alex was not herself. Not completely. But seeing how far Maiko had come. Seeing her young pupil lend his strength to her. It restored a piece of who she was. She felt just a little more herself. She squeezed his hand again. “You have come so far.”

“I am so proud of you.” This was a battle they would wage together. She could feel the Force shifting into place. She knew exactly what was next. “The curse is contained but I do not know how long it will last.” Her face scrunched as she spoke. “The bond of Master and student is unique in the Force.” Hmmmm. “Perhaps that is what Max and I were missing.” She could not know for sure. “We are healers, and the curse is a sickness.” Her mind began quickly rotating through ideas. “We have work to do Maiko, a path to finding a cure.” The Force hummed again. Yes, this was the right path. She could feel the Force bond between them strengthening.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Maiko Sigur]

The honesty with which they shared their thoughts and feelings was a thing of beauty, a circumstance brought about by his previous apprehension, and their bond as Master and student was made stronger for it. Maiko was grateful, and while he saw his fear as a failure these past few days he was also made aware that he would not have found this newfound strength he now held in his hands if he never felt afraid in the first place.

His expression softened, a flash of pain for losing his friends and former Master and guilt for not being able to help gleamed in his eyes but only briefly. The young Padawan – if he was being honest – was still on the path to acceptance as to why the Order had to suffer such devastating loss. It wasn't easy, and there was no shortcuts to end the pain. Despite not wanting to have her experience what he felt (he would never wish it upon anyone, friend or foe alike) her understanding lifted a weight off of his chest.

"We're never alone, no matter how far apart we will be," he added in assurance – for his Master first and foremost, and for himself. Maiko gently squeezed Master Alex's hand in return, another smile appearing on his face.

There was a calm shifting into the Force, like a puzzle piece falling perfectly into place. It hummed pleasantly around them, a tone of approval making the Padawan's eyes widen with pleasant surprise. Perhaps his Master's mission and his fear for her safety were the pieces that made the picture complete – the pieces that heralded the strength with which their bond grew. And if the Force itself approved of their bond, then was it safe to feel hope that he and Master Alex could achieve their goals, one step at a time?

Feeling emboldened by his Master's determination, Maiko nodded his head in agreement and gave her another smile. "Yes, Master," he said, resolved. "I won't falter anymore... We'll find the cure and end the curse. Together."

@Valen Pelora

 

[Alexandria Voran]

Alex was not yet whole. She was uncertain she would ever feel whole again. She was healing from the scars left by the curse…but healing was slow. She nodded slowly. “Never alone, young one.” Alex took a deep breath and put her best Jedi Master mask on. There was work to be done, she could not ignore the shifting of the Force. “We might fail…we may falter.” Her voice was serious. “And that is okay.” She looked into Maiko’s eyes again. “But it is how we keep on that matters. I will never fault you for failing but we will not accept giving in.” No Jedi was perfect. She knew that and often she failed to take her own advice. That did not matter. Her failings would not become the failings of her student.

“Get your things and meet me in the hangar in 30 minutes.” She squeezed his hand one last time before pulling away. “We will not solve this problem within these Temple walls.” The Order had centuries of knowledge, but nothing could compare to the curse on Ajan Kloss. She had felt that terror in her mind. It was unlike anything she had ever faced. No…the library would not help them. The healer who may have had the insight they sought gave his life at that Temple. The answers they needed lay elsewhere. “Hurry.” She shooed Maiko away and went to back her own thing.

Her mind was still twisted from the curse. She was uncertain if she was strong enough for the path ahead. But Maiko was ready, and she had Max. For now, that would be enough. They would be the strength she did not yet have. Alex was certain she would find herself again. She always did. It was just a matter of time…right?

OOC: End Thread