- Joined
- Feb 7, 2024
- Messages
- 57
- Reaction score
- 34
___"Hello, Nar Shadda, and welcome to Huttball Season 4!" a perhaps too enthusiastic male announcer bellowed over the loudspeakers. When he finished, the crowd turned into a cacophony of cheers, yells, and wailing for excitement. "We're back with more of your favourite bloodsport, sponsored by our favourite Hutts from seasons past: Dex, Dabba, and Trex! Take it away!"
___"Thank you, thank you, and welcome everyone to Season 4 of Huttball," Dex stated, raising his arms to bask in the crowd's excitement and, of course, make himself look like the immaculate and beneficent Hutt he was!
___"It's great to have everyone here today!" Dabba followed suit.
___"We can't wait to get the games underway. How about you?" Trex inquired, to which the crowd erupted into more screeching and caterwauling.
___"Before we get the game underway, allow us to explain the rules of Huttball! Trex?"
___"In the centre of the arena is the Huttball," the Hutt began, gesturing towards the arena where a much-too-bright spotlight clicked on and cast its blazing light on the ball. "The object for each team is to seize control of the Huttball and carry it to the opposing team's goal. However—"
___"WEAPONS!" Dabba interrupted, flecks of spit slinging from the corners of his slavering lips. "LIVE WEAPONS! Blasters, bowcasters, grenades, handfuls of sand, and FISH!" he continued, banging his hands enthusiastically on the console before him. The other two seemed content to let Dabba enjoy his morally and ethically questionable rambling. "Physical pain! Emotional damage! GRINDING CARTILAGE! MEAT CHUNKS! PUNCTURES, BROKEN TEETH, AND POUNDS! OF! FLESH!"
___Behind the gathered Hutts, an assortment of pyrotechnics ignited and sailed through the air. Sparks showered some viewers. The planet over, the graveyard of safety and health administrators cartwheeled in their shallow dirt recesses. The crowd cheered again, or were those cries of pain from the people whose hair and clothes were now on fire? It didn't matter. This was HUTTBALL! There was no collateral damage, only acceptable casualties.
___"Now, to introduce the teams!" Dex stated, assuming control again to let Dabba's enthusiastic hyperventilating and tachycardia return to medically acceptable levels. An extra set of unnecessary spotlights shed each side of the arena in almost blinding light as the contests filed out, and more fireworks burned like the recently-glassed Korda Six to signal their entries. Dex held up a sheet of slimy paper in the booth to squint at the names.
___"First up, Team Beekmonkey, marked with yellow!" Dex declared. "We have a returning Huttball winnder! More pale than a brothel's favourite call-girl in a confessionary, we have'Hell on Heels' !" he announced. "Flanking her is 'Azure Devil' ! It seems Team Beekmonkey enjoys their motif of horrors! Sounds about right for a Sith," Trex commented. "And last but not least, 'Gears' ! You had ONE JOB, greased-up pretty boy! You ruined the THEME!" Dabba bellowed. "Surely he has fire or devil tattooed somewhere, Dabba! Don't lament!" Dex attempted to soothe the agitated Hutt.
___"Then, starting with Team Gutterguppy, marked with red, we have 'Blaster' ! 'Blaster?' Really? You're up to your brains in cybernetics and you name yourself 'Blaster?'" Trex cackled, placing his hands on his considerable gut. "Coming behind is 'Demagol' ! Two people with more synthetics than skin, one team! Our lottery system sure knows how to pick 'em!" Dex chuckled. "Then the boring ANTITHESIS of that! The last one always RUINS it!" Dabba spat. "'The Rock'! There's no punchline here! He's just a ROCK! At least he'll be easy to sweep up off the floor later!"
___Now, the contestants were in the limelight, free to introduce and swagger however they saw fit and within the dubious constraints outlined in the Hutts' Release of Liability waiver. They could see the entire arena from behind the thin grey veil of a ray shield from their starting positions. They could plot, scheme, bicker, or completely ignore each other! The crowd didn't care what they did, nor did the commentators. The only thing that mattered was HUTTBALL.
___"Everyone, GET READY...!"
Last edited by a moderator: