Ask Raxus We Always Make It Through

Jonathen Baize

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Raydo
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His head sank down into the pillow as she crawled into bed. It was an odd sensation, being so comfortable, so safe, and still being so on edge. A few minutes passed, and even the thought of sleep scared him.

He had pulled her closer, her steady breathing helping him relax some. He craved the familiarity he felt in her, the scent of hair, the slight numbness in his arm as she lay on it. It was all perfect. She was perfect. He knew how he should feel, and he did, but it all felt muffled to him, like hearing it from behind a thick door.

He stared at the ceiling for a long while, thoughts, people, and places running through his mind. Slowly but surely, he drifted into a semi-sound sleep. The nightmares were there, but so was she. Images of her on Serenno, on the balcony of New Alderaan. It was enough to hold on to.

He woke up every once in a while to a noise outside or even subtle changes in the room, it was all enough to make him jump but he calmed down eventually.

The night wasn't easy, but he made it through because of her.

@LadyRen
 

Kalique Baize

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He slowly winded down, yet she could feel how on edge he still was. She was restless, too, but actively fought against it. It took quite some time for her to start feeling tired in the first place, but laying in his arms still felt great. His familiar smell and warmth eased her to some extent, but it worried her that his presence was still so...dim.

He wasn't just on edge, he was deeply traumatized by the events. She drifted into a light sleep at some point, but every time he woke, she did the same. She softly stroked his arm or closed the distance that had been build up between them. In the end, when the alarm rang, she felt still somewhat rested from the hours spend laying, but as he realized he wasn't much better, she did let out a little sigh.

"Good morning" she gently whispered as she turnt, then held him close for a moment before she pressed a kiss onto his forehead. "Give yourself time to wake up". She did get up then and prepared coffee, knowing he'd need it, before she delivered a cup back to bed.

"Do you want something to eat as well?" she hesitantly asked, fearing she knew the answer already. They both had to leave soon, but he wasn't even in the condition to work. "I know you've got plenty of work still...but is there any chance you can avoid working all day today and take some time for yourself?".

@Raydo
 

Jonathen Baize

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His eyes shot open with the alarm, sunlight leaking into the from beyond the curtains. He stirred slightly, feeling the grogginess of a half night's amount of sleep, but it had been more than before. "Good Morning." he replied.

After she got up, he wanted to lie back down to rest a bit longer, but there was too much to do. He could take time for himself afterward; this one night would be enough to keep him going long enough to take care of his regiment. He pushed himself out of bed, sitting with both feet planted on the ground, taking several breaths before.

He could hear here in the other room, the sounds of the old coffee maker he had starting up. "You're an angel." he whispered so he only he could hear. Whatever he had gone through, whatever he was going to go through, that wouldn't change. He forced himself to stand and head into the bathroom, cutting the water on before he peeled the old uniform off. The garment was certainly not made for sleeping in, but he hadn't even noticed it last night.

Jon looked at himself in the mirror, dark circles around his slightly bloodshot eyes. He felt like an imposter in his own body. A minute later, he stepped into the shower, hot water running down him as he leaned against the wall. He quickly showered, cutting the water off as she stepped back into the bedroom. He dried off and wrapped a towel around himself. She approached with coffee in hand, "You're perfect, you know that?" he asked with a faint smile taking the cup. It was fantastic, its warmth spreading across his body. "This is more than enough." he said, holding up the cup.

He wasn't too far gone to know this wasn't easy for her. He didn't need the force to see her worried looks, the way she walked around him as if the wrong move may break him. "I need to go in. There is too much to do, and I am needed," he said.

He took a step up to her, putting the cup down on the bathroom counter and holding her waist. "Hey, I am here," he said, trying to reassure her. "I am not going to pretend like its all alright, but it will be, ok?" he said, lifting her chin up and kissing her.

In reality, he wasn't positive it would be, but he would let himself believe the lie just for a little bit.

@LadyRen
 

Kalique Baize

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The old coffee grinder did act up a bit, which was why she was already deciding that her coffee machine would get a prime position in the new kitchen to come. Hers was simply faster, and even though his came with a certain charm, she preferred the more pragmatic choice.

After pouring him a cup, she walked back, already hearing the shower as she entered the bedroom but he seemed about to be done. "You're unbelievably sweet" even now he was. The shower, just like some sleep seemed to have helped a little and thus a soft smile was planted on her lips as he took a sip.

The room was filled with steamed and relatively heated, yet from the inside, she still felt a little cold. His deep rooted trauma wasn't going anywhere, especially not if he kept insisting on keeping all emotions bottled up like he was doing it right now.

"Okay...I've got to be in the training's center in an hour, so I'll drive with you". The Knights weren't too far off the barracks where he was currently stationed in and so she'd walk from there, change in the center and get going from there.

His reply didn't surprise her at all as she knew all about his stubbornness and strong sense of duty, but she could still hear how difficult it would be for him to work through the day today. He then placed down his cup and held her by the waist, trying to convince her that he'd be fine soon, but as he simply wasn't fully convinced himself, it didn't soothe her either.

"Just don't forget that you're not alone..." she gently replied, reaching up to cup his cheek. He looked so tired, so exhausted...so desperate even about this situation. "I'm training the squires today, feel free to message me tonight". She phrased it as normal as she could, but it was still a plea for 'do go to bed at some point'.

@Raydo
 

Jonathen Baize

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He took another breath, hands lingering around her waist a bit longer. It almost felt like things could be okay here in the steamed-filled bathroom, but he knew everything would be waiting for him when he walked out. The unbearable weight of the days to come loomed over both of them.

He leaned down, leaning his forehead against hers. "Like you would ever let me forget it." he whispered. He was glad for that fact too. There was comfort in knowing she wouldn't let him go through this alone, even if he had wanted to. Seeing her hurt because of him was painful, but he leaned on her and would likely need to do that more over the next few days.

"I will," he promised. He would have a busy day reorganizing companies and platoons, checking in on the wounded, filing reports, and a myriad of other things that needed doing.

"Give em' hell," he said with a small grin before turning to get ready. He wiped the mirror clean and set about trimming his beard until it was its usual regulation length, finished in the bathroom, and put on a fresh, pressed uniform. Even in his state, even in his soldier's state, they were going to be exemplary. Jon would settle for nothing less.

He picked his hat up, tucking it under his arm. He gave himself one more look in the bedroom mirror and moved to the door. Jone paused several feet from the door, seeing the discarded bag still on the floor. It represent something, he had tried to drop whatever he could at the door the night before, but now he had to face all of it. The thought terrified him.

@LadyRen
 
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