Ask Winding Roads

[Darth Tempest]

.

Unsurprisingly, Vahliri hadn’t found much rest since the Imperial ball on Eriadu. Despite expectations, the party had proven to be nothing short of an unmitigated disaster - filled with heartache that still lingered on the half-Annfyn’s mind - despite best attempts to bury herself in research. Out of all the drama, though, Vahliri’s mind unfailingly returned to Altair before long - feeling that distinct pain through the center of her chest. She cared about him - more deeply than perhaps either of them realized until very recently - and wasn’t stupid enough to not realize the rift that had formed since that night.

The party was the first time she’d been able to see him since Korriban, and the Tiefling had hardly been able to look at her. It was a fact that haunted Vahliri far more than she’d like to admit. And it didn’t take more than a day or two to hunker down and reach out to Altair. Everything else aside, they had been the closest friends since both of them joined the Empire - and she loved him deeper than simple romantic attraction and desire. Too much to simply let things lie where they were.

Tracking Altair down, however, was another matter entirely. It seemed that the Tiefling had deliberately thrown himself back into work immediately after. After a moderate amount of digging, the half-Annfyn discovered that he’d been assigned to the warfront of Vrogas Vas - fighting having already broken out now that the ceasefire had been broken. With ruins from both Jedi and Sith, it was consistently contested world. Luckily, it hadn’t taken much for the half-Annfyn to reroute herself to the conflict - her own expertise on the field making her a prime candidate.

Vahliri’s ship touched down on the surface of Vrogas Vas, and was promptly followed by the half-Annfyn marching down the durasteel ramp of the vessel. Unlike previous instances, the half-Annfyn showed up to the planet outfitted for combat - sporting her signature crimson-and-black robes and hood. Her black hair was tied back into a few braids that flowed down to the middle of her back. Despite her desire to speak with Altair, the half-Annfyn didn’t come to Vrogas Vas to merely settle her own personal issues. She was committed to seeing the battle through, regardless of where things stood with Altair.

Her arrival was met with some acknowledgment from Imperial armed forces, nods and salutes reciprocated by the half-Annfyn as she strolled right ahead - head held high and shoulders back. She continued on to wherever the Tiefling was at that particular moment, her first desire to seek him out.

@Sreeya

 

[Altair Din]

The planet would provide a staging point to launch attacks into Alliance territory. Altair set up a base camp with an entire regiment of soldiers. It was surreal to oversee so many troops at once, but it came with his new position. He had learned to delegate, several Captains and Lt.s beneath him to keep him abreast of all information.

Vahliri would be led to the camp with makeshift tents set up everywhere. She would notice right away that no one was dressed in obviously marked Imperial armor. A speeder came by and stopped near her. Altair stepped out, adorned in lighter armor and with a hood up that worked around his horns. The tiefling’s face was difficult to read as he came across Vahliri, giving her a curt nod.

“Hey,” He said quietly, “What brings you here?” Altair asked, checking his chrono. He had a few hours before he had to meet with his men again. They were making slow progress in this territory, but Altair refused to move until he had more intel. He wouldn’t risk striking out without ensuring minimum loss of Imperial life.

@Altaris

 

[Darth Tempest]

As she marched forward, Vahliri allowed her amber gaze to flick around the Imperial camp - taking in the sheer number of troopers that had been assigned under Altair’s command. It was a reminder of just how far the Tiefling had come - how far they’d both come - since that first mission to Zakuul. Additionally, she didn’t miss the low-key armor and lack of signature Imperial livery. While she wore her usual attire, the crimson-and-black robes were nondescript enough to blend in easily enough. Amber eyes flicked to her left - addressing the speeder that approached and came to a stop. She watched as Altair stepped out of the vehicle, almost immediately reaching up to pull down her own crimson hood.

“Hey Altair,” She glanced up at him. They were far enough away from Imperial troopers that Vahliri addressed him personally.

Nevertheless, she didn’t miss the changes in how he addressed her. The Tiefling’s expression and emotions were often difficult to read, and there was none of the tell-tale movements of his tail to indicate how he was feeling at that moment. But she recognized the curt nod he gave her, and the way his eyes almost immediately flicked down to his chrono. It was a stark contrast to the way they had reached each other on the field on M’haeli, and though she said nothing about it, the half-Annfyn’s fluted ears twitched downward ever-so-slightly to betray her.

“Not the only one committed to the war effort,” She said after a moment, arms folded together against the small of her back as she gazed up at Altair. She smiled a bit, though it wasn't an expression that reached her eyes. “Vrogas Vas is an important staging ground. I’m here to help make sure it succeeds.” Regardless of how things went between them personally, she was committed to seeing the objective through. Her gaze flicked out towards the rest of the camp for a moment, exhaling through her nostrils before settling back onto Altair.

“And.. Because I needed to talk to you,” She said finally, her gaze unyielding as she fixed upon those familiar amethyst. The half-Annfyn gestured for Altair to walk with her, hoping to have a bit more space than right out in the open. Assuming he entertained as much, Vahliri glanced over to him after a few moments, wringing her fingers together slightly before she spoke. “We haven’t spoken since Korriban or that party.. But I know you’re angry with me. That I upset you,” The simple truth was that Vahliri wasn’t entirely sure why. Much had happened that night - and both of them were in the dark about the worst of each other's drama.

“You couldn’t even look at me..” She said quietly.

@Sreeya

 

[Altair Din]

Altair gave her a blank look as she stated her commitment to the war effort. His own posture wasn’t as formal as hers. After a moment, he smirked, “Is that why you’re the only one dressed obviously Sith here?” He asked with a quirked brow. However, that was when she delved into the real reason for her arrival, the one he expected. Altair’s jaw tightened as she reminded him that he couldn’t look at her. It wasn’t like him, and they both knew it. A part of him wanted to play it off and pretend everything was fine and that she imagined his reaction. However, he knew that would go nowhere and he was done with old gaslighting tricks - intentional or otherwise.

The tiefling sighed as he reached up to lower his hood, “I ain’t angry with you,” He stated after a long moment. He started to walk and gestured for her to walk with him. He had no intention of discussing this in the middle of the camp. His path took him up an incline and towards a cliff that overlooked the endless arid valleys. There were no known lifeforms on the planet for a long time, but that was exactly what made it the perfect place for the resistance and Jedi to set up shop.

“I’m more annoyed at myself for bein’ annoyed at all…” He muttered as he looked over the valleys below, “I know that doesn’t make sense,” Altair shrugged vaguely. He glanced at her then, meeting her gaze, “You ain’t done nothing wrong.”

@Altaris

 

[Darth Tempest]

Vahliri couldn’t help but roll her eyes a bit when Altair mentioned her attire - amber eyes flicking down to the crimson-and-black robes that had progressively become her signature. “Might’ve missed a memo or two..” She grumbled under her breath, a smirk slowly tugging at the corners of her lips. “I’ve been successful enough in the past.” She quipped, glancing up to meet his gaze. Of course, Vahliri didn’t miss the way that Altair’s jaw set into a firm line when the topic shifted - broaching the one that had been on her mind for days at this point.

She didn’t know where the conversation would lead, or where they would be at the end of it. But Vahliri refused to allow herself to spiral, or do anything but address her problems head-on - regardless of the result.

The half-Annfyn blinked a few times when Altair declared that he wasn’t angry with her - amber eyes lingering on his own for a long, quiet moment. She followed as their path took them up towards the steep, rocky cliffs - providing a perfect vantage to the craggy valleys below. Ruins from ancient Sith Empires, Jedi Temples and Republic settlements littered the surface. It was a testament to the storied past of the planet and how history almost seemed to repeat itself with the most current conflict.

It would only be a matter of hours before they would be trudging through those same valleys to engage the enemy - and yet Vahliri’s mind was frozen to that moment. Frozen to the Tiefling’s words that swirled within her mind. He had historically been difficult to understand - and his assertion that his statement didn’t fully make sense wasn’t far from the truth. But one thing was clear.

“Annoyed because I showed up with someone else,” She said, keeping her gaze fixed on him the entire time. It was the only real explanation that made sense, and the one that Vahliri knew was almost certainly the truth based on his reaction - even if she didn’t fully understand him. They’d come to a crossroads multiple times in the past, and it always ended where Altair wanted it to. Hell, the Tiefling himself had shown up with someone else that night.

And yet his reaction had manifested all the same.

She exhaled quietly. “I didn’t lie to you, when I said that I wasn’t with Varyn.” It was a topic that had been floated in the past, even if Vahliri had always fallen short of wanting anything deeper there. “We weren’t together then, and.. We aren’t now.” Her mine briefly returned to that entire exchange between herself and Varyn - feeling the familiar pinprick in her chest. Even if she didn’t have deeper feelings for the man, the way things ended that night - the knowledge she had hurt him - lingered with her all the same. “We didn’t leave together.”

Vahliri sighed, shifting a bit to face him directly. “I don’t.. Want you to be annoyed with me. Or to shut me out.” She nudged him a bit. “I just.. Sometimes I don’t know what you want.”

 

[Altair Din]

Altair visibly bristled as she mentioned that he was angry because she showed with someone else. He wanted to argue against it, to interject, to tell her that wasn’t true. He hated that he came across like some jealous boyfriend, when they never crossed any kind of bridge in that direction. His gaze remained fixed ahead and over the horizon. The tiefling said nothing as she began to explain herself, delving into whatever she had with Varyn.

“You don’t owe me any explanation, Vahl,” Altair cut in. Over the years they had known each other, he had changed bit by bit. While he still let loose and had his jovial demeanor here and there, he was much calmer and more reserved these days. She would begin to see that she was not standing next to that teen, goofy farmer boy anymore. He had grown rigid over the years for better or worse, and it bled into his mannerisms and the way he carried himself.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Altair said as he also looked at her, “You remember when I avoided things like this and how I hesitated even with Aadya? You see all the drama play out at the party? It’s all shit that ultimately makes me weak,” He paused before he continued, “Makes you weak,” His gaze remained locked with hers, “It creates distractions and gets in our way. It’s done nothing good for me and I don’t think it ever will.”

Altair closed his eyes and exhaled softly, “I’m gonna focus on my new title and serving the Empire. I want to forge it into somethin’ I actually believe in. If I’m gonna do that, I can’t keep lettin’ myself get wrecked the way I have been,” He shook his head, “I’m sorry Vahl,” Altair kept his gaze fixed on hers, “I’m sorry you feel about me the way you do. And I’m sorry for how I acted..which I can’t explain…” He admitted, “All I do is hurt people. I dunno what’s wrong with me…but I figured if I started keepin’ my distance it wouldn’t keep happening. Varyn is a good guy, Vahl, and I don’t wanna come between that.”

@Altaris

 

[Darth Tempest]

For a brief moment or two, Vahliri was silent after the Tiefling cut in - her amber gaze locked onto him unyieldingly. She didn’t glance out over the horizon or valleys below, and instead couldn’t help but appraise the man that Altair had become over the years, forged by every experience - positive and negative. He was harsher and more rigid than the Acolyte she’d met on Indupar, reflected in his tone and his very posture. There was the smallest part of the half-Annfyn that wondered if the change was for better or worse - even if they’d all grown and changed since those days.

“No,” She finally broke the silence, exhaling through her nostrils. “But I’m not here talking with you because I owe you something, Altair. I want you to hear it from me.” She wasn’t going to allow any misconception to linger between them, knowing of Altair and Varyn’s own friendship and least of all after her own drama with Varyn in the aftermath of the party.

Vahliri listened to the Tiefling for a long while as he spoke. While not aware of all the details, she knew perfectly well much of the Tiefling’s love life and drama - not least of all due to her own involvement in it over the years. She knew the ways he had been hurt and the ways that he always hesitated to make himself vulnerable again. Her fluted ears twitched ever-so-slightly when he proclaimed it both made them weak, and she couldn’t help but exhale through her nostrils in response.

“Running from that shit makes me weak.” She cut in flatly, her gaze finally flicking out to take in the horizon. There was none of the emotional outburst or anger in her tone - far more calm and collected than the half-Annfyn had been in her early days. “Burying my head in the sand.. Distracting myself from it.. Pretending it ain't there cause I don't want to get hurt,” She shook her head. “Doing anything but embracing exactly what I am - every good and fucked up part of myself and how I feel - makes me weak.” It didn’t matter how much it cut and wounded her in the end. It didn’t matter how it distracted her. The half-Annfyn was done running and fighting with herself on how she felt.

She listened to plan moving forward, and couldn’t help but note his proclamation of changing the Empire to fit what he believed in. As the topic turned to her and Varyn, however, she couldn’t help the way her lips tugged downward in response. “Varyn is,” She began, exhaling softly. “Which is why he deserves better than me. Better than someone whose in love with someone else.” Her gaze finally returned to meet his own, unwavering as she made that statement. It had existed for years even if neither of them knew it, but it was the reality. “Because that is the truth of it. And it doesn’t have anything to do with yours or his actions, only my own."

“But I didn’t.. Come here expecting something from you, Altair.” She said slowly, chewing the bottom of her lip a bit. “I don’t want to hurt you like you’d been hurt. And I know something deeper isn’t what you want right now, and haven’t in the past.” The words stung as they left her lips, but they did anyway. “But it doesn’t change how I feel. And I don’t want to see you distance yourself because of it - trying to keep either of us from getting hurt.” She gazed up at him, silent for a moment.

“Because I’d rather take a million cuts than see you walk away from me.”

@Sreeya

 

[Altair Din]

Altair scoffed to himself as Vahliri all but launched thinly veiled slashes at him because he did intend to run from it. The tiefling heard parallels in what she said with what he said to Tiamat, “So who does deserve us?” He mused aloud at that, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He bristled again when she used his own words. His entire body tensed at that, his tail twitching almost erratically. He had put the cave away in the far recesses of his mind, compartmentalizing it all.

“How would you play it out, Vahl?” Altair asked, a line of questioning he hadn’t ventured into before, “We date and then you wanna settle down and get married or some shit? Is that how it’d go?” He stared at her, “Or we date and then we break up. How’s that gonna go? How would we pick up bein’ friends like we are now? Already…already shit’s different,” He mumbled quietly, “Already you’re different…and I’m different.”

They weren’t the aco squad anymore. Cairo was likely dead, he hardly saw Ashla and things had gotten more complicated than ever with Vahliri. They weren’t those clueless kids but future leaders within the Empire. And he knew they had divergent paths.

“Where would it go if we were to just…throw caution to the wind and get together right now?”

@Altaris

 

[Darth Tempest]

As she stared back at Altair, Vahliri didn’t miss the way that he visibly bristled at her words. Mere inches away, she saw every shift in his expression and the clear ways that his tail flicked back and forth. It was all she needed to know that her words got under his skin, and she couldn’t help but exhale through her nostrils when he mused his question. “Maybe each other.” She shrugged. “Or maybe no one does.” It wasn’t really a question she had much of an answer to. Her gaze briefly broke from Altair, glancing out over the arid valleys below.

She couldn’t help but blink a few times when Altair shot back with his questions - her honeyed eyes locking back onto him. It was a train of thought they’d never discussed and never seemed likely, no matter how much the half-Annfyn had wished for it. It was a train of thought that didn’t come with clear answers or guarantees. It was uncertain by its very definition, and Vahliri refused to run from it.

“It’d go in whatever direction made us both happy.” She said after a moment, staring up at him as she broke the silence. “I don’t think either of us are the type to settle down and let the Galaxy pass us by,” They both had their ambitions. He’d clearly begun to rise up within the Empire, and her own sights were set on greater things. The half-Annfyn had her own vision for herself and the Empire. “Whatever we determine ‘happy’ is.” She shifted a bit. “I know that I care about you more than just wanting a relationship, Altair. You know that - and it isn’t going to change if we break up down the line. We aren’t kids anymore, and I believe we’d be able to make it work and still be friends.” It was impossible to predict what the future held, but Vahliri knew how she felt about the Tiefling. She loved him like few others in the world - and it was an affection that went beyond romantic feelings. They weren’t AcoSquad anymore, but those bonds had been forged and were difficult to break now.

“Is that a bad thing?” She asked, firing back in response to his declaration that they’d changed. They were both different people than the Acolyte’s they’d been on Zakuul - and it was almost certain they would be different people in the years to come. Whether it was for better or worse - or if Vahliri quite liked the person she herself was becoming - was less clear. And there was a part of her that wondered if Altair did either.

She finally sighed after a long moment. “I don’t have all the answers, Altair. I can’t see the future, and I don’t know what will happen with us. Quite frankly the best that either of us can do is guess on that front,” Vahliri took a single step closer to him, gaze failing to break away. “But I know that I love you enough to try. That I want to be with you - and that we’d make each other happy. That I am willing to throw caution to the wind, and see where it carries us.”

Vahliri didn’t move back from him, lingering just a few inches away. “After everything that happened at that party, I don't want us to grow apart. I told you that I didn’t come here expecting anything from you right now, or if you even want that to begin with.." She sighed a bit. "But if we got together right now, I'd face it all head-on. I'm not going to run from it just 'cause I don't know where it'll take us."

@Sreeya

 

[Altair Din]

He didn’t say anything as she spoke. He had expected her to shy away from the question or the topic, but she stood her ground. Altair was the one now having to fight against the urge to bolt. After she finished speaking, he could only manage a smile as he gazed at her.

“You’ve come a long way from when I thought you’d throw me over the smallest fights,” Altair said quietly after a few seconds. He wanted to argue with her and reiterate that he was bad news, but she knew all that. She was grown and she made her own choices now. It was never as clear as it was just now. He admired it in many ways and he considered her braver than he knew he was. For whatever reason he bristled at the sight of her with anyone else even though he had no business feeling that way.

The tiefling gazed ahead of himself and looked over the valley again, feeling the cool winds of vast fields brush against him.

“I said yeah when Tia asked me out,” Altair said quietly, “I thought she wanted something casual. It ended up shatterin’ her to pieces,” He exhaled, “On Korriban, Aadya was more hurt than when we broke up,” Altair finally turned to look at her, “I’d just end up hurting you and destroying our friendship. You ain’t afraid to try, but I am,” He admitted. She could call him a coward and he would call himself the same.

Altair turned to face her, lifting his hand to rest against the side of her face, “You ain’t stupid. You know this new you…the way you are now is someone I’m startin' to fall for. You knew that before you even came here. It scares the shit outta me. It’s easier for me to keep my distance than to embrace it ‘cause I know how it ends.”

@Altaris

 

[Darth Tempest]

Vahliri cracked a small smile when Altair spoke, gazing up at him for a long while. “Yeah, you’d have to properly piss me off now,” She said playfully, following up the statement by nudging Altair affectionately in the arm. In hindsight, even the half-Annfyn could see how temperamental and volatile she’d been in her Acolyte days, and it was only after years of experience and maturing that she’d become the woman she was now. The half-Annfyn didn’t flinch from where she stood - facing down the Tiefling with only inches between them. Whatever the outcome of their conversation - no matter where they stood in the end, Vahliri wouldn’t shy away from it. She’d stubbornly and bravenly face it head on - as it went against her very nature to do otherwise.

Her gaze flicked back to the camp behind them for just a moment, allowing her amber eyes to drift across the makeshift tents and fortifications. It was clear from the commotion below that troopers were preparing themselves, and it wouldn’t be terribly long before their actual duties on the planet called. She her gaze returned to Altair when he began to speak again, listening to every word. The half-Annfyn heard the Tiefling mention every way that he’d hurt those around him before, and couldn’t help but consider their own past. How it always left her longing and hurt in the end, and yet the distance between them had done exactly that.

There was a part of the half-Annfyn that wanted to call him a coward. To call out his bullshit, and all the ways that the Tiefling closed out the people around him. In the end, though, she merely stared back at him - amber eyes locked onto his own. “And what happens to our friendship if you can’t even look at me with some other guy?” The party had been the most recent example of it, but Vahliri didn’t miss the way that the Tiefling had similarly reacted at his own birthday party years ago. “Or if you’re keeping yourself across the Galaxy and distant?”

She brought her hand to rest over the top of Altair’s own, silent only a brief moment. Even then, he would be able to see the way that her fluted ears flicked and swiveled from the touch. Vahliri finally exhaled after a moment. “How I feel about you ain’t going to change regardless, Altair. But I’m not asking for a relationship that terrifies you, or to start moving in a direction you don’t want.”

“But don’t shut me out, or keep me at arm’s length.” Her hand squeezed his own a bit, “Let me be there for you, without you putting’ up walls and distance. Continue exactly like we’ve been for years,” They’d always been more than just friends in a traditional sense, even if they’d never gone further. “It doesn’t need to be more than that.” She lingered for a few moments, waiting for his answer.

@Sreeya