Bury Her With Her People

[Darth Tagus]

Naboo.

Until a short while ago, Naboo had owed it's allegiance to the Galactic Alliance and the Jedi. More recently it had become an Imperial territory. Between these two regime changes, the settlers who had come to Naboo had decided that if they were going to settle here they had literally no excuse for not taking advantage of the "rock bottom" land prices.

The lovely, almost stately, home he was waiting in now was actually a local hotel that was going to be opening it's doors in the next year. Right now it was empty, which meant it was actually rather a good place to meet someone who knew how to find the planet.

But also didn't want to be seen.

Arda was, according to what he knew from Nikka, a Jedi Master and perhaps one of the best in the entire Jedi Order. He wasn't sure how true that was. All he knew was that he had managed to convince Nikka's droid to transmit a request to meet to Arda since Nikka had told the droid he was to go to her.

Which was hard to do when you were a droid stuck on the wrong planet.

So Tagus had come along - not to kill Arda or fight her or anything like that at all. He came to meet the woman Nikka had truly believed was a worthy Jedi Master, unlike others who held the rank. Tagus had set aside his mask as he waited, looking at the three tables he had pushed together.

And the white sheet-wrapped form that rested upon it.

He just stared at it as he waited for Arda to arrive, musing as he idly played with the new leather cord around his neck.

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

There were credits to be made and lots of land for those who wanted to start a new life out here. Thought what many individuals did not realize how the Empire gained such a place and how they drove the locals back into their underwater world while the galactics took their land. It reminded Arda much of what the Empire did to her home and to her people, they wanted what they had and would do anything to get it. At times she wished they would have left the world be, not bothering to settle, to protect its inhabitants from outside influence until they were ready, but that was not the case as she landed on Naboo, disguised as one of those settlers ready to make a new life here. Her heart mourned for the death of her friend, she had felt something off, and it was later confirmed when Nikka's droid arrived to deliver her message as well as one by the name of Darth Tagus.

She meditated at length, trying to decide if she should go or to leave the man in his final request for the Knight. There was no clear response, there were pros and cons to it all, and the risk was phenomenally high, and yet it was the one thing she was sure of and the one thing she could surely work with if it turned out to be a trap. She walked to the edge of town, her presence muted, her face hidden from curious onlookers as she followed the instructions to the hotel in which the Sith requested.

It was clearly empty, on the verge of being ready to open to the public soon and seemed like an appropriate spot for the Darth to meet with the Jedi Master. The door was unlocked as she entered, still on edge, cautious and ready for anything that would try to take advantaged of her solo expedition of a most curious request to meet. But nothing out of the ordinary did happen as she found the darth in a large room, white sheets wrapped around a figure on a long table before him. Arda stood quietly in the door way, uncertain on how to process what was she was witnessing.

Eventually, she pulled down the hood that covered her face and walked inside, her eyes rested on the body before following to the face of the man who killed her.

"There was always another way."

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

The Jedi Master was here.

Tagus looked over his shoulder at her when she approached but, for a moment, he didn't say anything. Then he knew that he couldn't stand it any longer. He knew that he had to speak, had to accept what he had done to her and hopefully move past it before it became an issue. It was... well it was wishful thinking really. He knew that this was going to be with him for the long haul, he knew that it was going to affect him for the rest of his life.

But he could do without it draining his strength of will in such a setting.

He slowly worked his wedding ring off of his finger and set it down on the stone of the railing so that Arda would be able to see it clearly for what it was. He looked down at it for a moment before turning to face the Jedi Master Arda Breaux.

"She spoke of you, you know." he told the woman quietly, glancing at Nikka's still form, "Said you were the only Jedi she understood - the only Jedi worth fighting for, with, in the Jedi Order. Others were flaky at best apparently."

He tapped his wedding ring.

"To you she was a comrade. To me she is... was... my wife." he revealed to Arda with a thick swallow, "There was no other way, Breaux. Our paths were set long before the day came - fate demands it's price."

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

He didn't respond to her right away as he looked over his shoulder; Arda walked further into the room, she could feel the tormoil that rolled inside him, sorrow, regret, pain, all that he fought to keep below the surface. When he finally spoke, she stood next to the table, reaching out to rest her hand on the body that once held the soul of the Order's best healer; this was entirely odd to her, Arda would admit to herself, but listened to the Sith as he spoke, reflecting on what Nikka had thought of her and the given opinion of those who were also in the Order.

However, she looked at the ring that he had removed and then it all made sense as he spoke of her as his wife. Thousands of questions swarmed the Jedi's mind, mainly that of if the Order was compromised along with the Rebellion, or if she missed all the signs of Nikka falling to the dark side. However, there was something about this that didn't speak of enemies. She trusted Nikka, she fought side by side with the Healer and knew she wasn't corrupted, but it was difficult to understand how and why, and the fate that has become of these star-crossed lovers.

"No path is ever set, she had a gentle soul, she was admired by many, even by you, a disciple of the dark side and yet you took her life. For what? Power? Control? What is the reward of this? Everyone's fate is death, but the path you chose to get there is but your own and this was the only one you could see?" she questioned, finding it hard at the moment to sympathize with him.

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

Come to think of it, Tagus didn't think he had ever really had a conversation like this with a Jedi. Nikka had been a Jedi and they had had their debates but, for the most part, they had agreed to keep those parts of themselves separate from the relationship that they had developed, cultivated, between the two of them.

It was rather annoying to be honest.

"Are all Jedi so dense as to ignore the basic patterns of the Galaxy when they don't fit into their narrow views of the Galaxy and the Force in general?" he asked her bluntly, "Fate exists, Breaux. We can run from it or we can fight it but it doesn't matter; it will take what it is due in the end."

He turned to face her fully.

His eyes were red, evidence of the weakness that Nikka had inspired within him still lingering despite his attempts to merely cut it out of himself with the red-hot blade of hatred and anger.

"I killed my wife because I could not be both her husband and the Sith I am." he told her with a scowl, "There was no reward for this. No joy in it. I hated this and I always will; but it had to be done. You wouldn't understand what it means to sacrifice what you want for what needs to be done, Jedi."

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

He spoke like a Sith who have read 500 years of lies about the Jedi, someone who thought knew more than her, knew more about the Force than any being that came before him. It reminded Arda of the cruelty from the Imperials early in her life, it reminded her of why she fought the ignorance and arrogance that came with it. Clearly Nikka didn't see this, or perhaps she did and pitied him, leading to a spiraling outcome she could no longer escape; regardless, she was dead and by the hand of someone she thought loved her back. There was nothing that was going to bring her back and that was all that Arda needed to know to accept; she wondered why the Sith had even called her here, to judge her perhaps? Or to see where to move his next piece on the game board, she doubted it was as simply come get the body.

"Please, sith-splain to me more about how to be a Jedi." Arda said folding her arms and holding back an eyeroll, but she continued, her tone a bit less sarcastic, "I didn't come to be lectured to like a child, I came here to get answers as to why she was murdered. There was no sacrifice, it was a selfish act, an act of power, dominance, control, but I didn't come to debate it, what ever you done, what ever reasons you chose to tell yourself for this, no husband-no good husband would have ever hurt his wife."

The Jedi turned away and looked down at her Knight, "She didn't deserve it and you didn't deserve to make that choice for her." Arda said shaking her head, "You could at least honor her," she glanced at him, "Create her pyre, finally lay her body to rest."

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

Such a somber mood - broken by one phrase.

"Sith-splain..." he noted with a chuckle, a genuine spark of mirth actually bubbling forth unbidden at that remark, "I like that. Nikka never mentioned that you had a wit about you, Breaux."

He let the mirth leave him and his face became stormy once again, no sign of the earlier lightness that had come and gone quickly. There was a moment where he just mused on what she had said.

"I never claimed to be a good husband - I was an awful one. Never even claimed to be a good man. She claimed to know otherwise and I... proved her wrong quite spectacularly didn't I?" Tagus' mouth twitched slightly, "Even now I know she would claim I could change. I... enjoyed her outlook. Her company."

Honouring her?

There was no honour.

Honour didn't exist except to serve the egos of those who claimed to have it, those who claimed to act in it's name. But if honour did exist? Well he supposed Arda had a point in that Nikka deserved it.

"Honestly?" he looked at the Jedi Master with his bright yellow eyes, "I thought about burying her on Korriban, within the tomb that will be my own one day. Of selfishly claiming her as my own for eternity but I... no. She deserves to be buried or burned as a Jedi. So. How do we do that then, Jedi?"

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

There was the briefest moment that Arda could possibly see the man that Nikka had fallen in love with, to see the mortal beneath the shells of armor he had built in order to protect himself from the harshness of the dark side. He chuckled at her phrase, but the moment of vulnerability disappeared as he fell back into the melodramatic speech that defined him, like the rest of his Order that seemed to revel in such theatrics. Internally, she was analyzing him, trying to figure out what the point of all this was. She was still confused why he called her here, why he was still so keen that she would be recognized as a Jedi and why he was so quick to devalue anything she had suggested to him, reverting to dichotomous definitions that left her in the least bit amused.

He explained how he wanted to bury her on Korriban, where he would be buried, but he thought of it as selfish, Arda didn't agree, but didn't argue. In fact, she remained quiet for a long time, reflecting on her own inner pain from realizing the loss of her Knight was true. Her eyes still feel on the body, but they looked past what she was seeing while she mulled on her thoughts, digging on the reasons she felt as she did, turning her perspective to the Sith. Slowly she turned away from the tables and walked over to the railing to where Tagus stood.

"Traditionally, the bodies are cremated on a pyre: wood, stone..." she explained, "What do you think she would have like though, Tagus?" she asked him softly.

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

Tagus moved from where he had been stood, approaching Nikka's body. He reached out with his left hand and almost scowled at how it shook for a moment before he forced himself to control it more directly. Reaching out, he took the covering and drew it back so that he was able to look upon her face. Despite the fact that she was dead and gone, she looked peaceful. She looked more peaceful than anyone had any right to be in his opinion.

His hand lingered and his fingertips brushed against her cheek without any conscious decision on his hand. For a second he was lost in the suddenly spike of emotion that shattered his calm. It came from the realization of just how... wrong it felt to touch her and find her so cold. He closed his eyes for a second to assist him in regaining his calm.

"I think she would have wanted to be close to me." he admitted to Arda even as he reached under his wife and picked her up, carrying her gently, "But the person she would have wanted to be close to was Zeven Visz and I... I won't die that man so I would be laying her down to rest beside someone she didn't love."

He nodded towards the exit.

"Let's set the pyre on the beach beside the river." he suggested quietly, "Set her to rest under the sun, where she belongs."

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

He approached her body, but Arda stayed where she was as she felt the tormented waves of the Force rile as he fought for some control over his self. Arda found herself more interested in his composure, how he struggled to remain the Darth that he wished for everyone to see, this vulnerabilities buried, but there were cracks, perhaps those made by the love of Nikka that those more gentle features of him spilled through. However, Arda knew as far as he was on the path of the Dark Side, those cracks would eventually forever seal, they will torment him for ages, or at least until he found another love to replace, if he could ever do such a thing. He believed he would not die as Zeven and only as his Darth counterpart and how curious Arda found this to be.

She knew the Sith took on names to disassociate from who they once were, to pass it off onto the accountability of this separate persona when rather, they were one in the same, and intertwined path of personalities that manifest for survival. As much as he did not recognize or at least did not want to, that he and Tagus would die as the same people: Zeven was as responsible for Tagus' own choices as Tagus was responsible for the choices of Zeven. Regardless, he would make his decision, deciding on the pyre. The Jedi Master unfolded her arms, "Very well." nodding in agreement to his choice, it would be at least with this, he could finally set her to rest, to hopefully have some closure. She exited through the patio doors, her boots tapping softly as the stone staircase lead to the sandy beach below where the pyre would be built.

Within a few hours time, it would be completed, Nikka's body laid to rest upon the rock and wood, while Arda finished adding the kindling for Zeven to complete the ceremony.

Stepping back and joining by the Darth's side, she looked upon the Knight who served her Order and silently glanced at the Sith.

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

Some things in life required the strength to do what was needed despite every fibre of your being telling you to do the opposite.

Some things in life required that you replace your heart with an automaton and go through with the action regardless of what your traitorous thoughts screamed in your ear.

Laying Nikka to rest needed to be done and he fought against it with everything he was worth. Almost mechanically he helped Arda assemble the pyre and he placed his departed wife atop of it. No... departed was the wrong word. Departed made it sound like she was only gone away for now, as though she could return.

It made it sound like he hadn't killed her.

Seeing her laid there atop of the pyre, Tagus felt his insides writhing. He hated himself with more clarity, more certainty, than he had ever felt for anything in his life. She had been something, someone, in his life unlike any other. Tagus had always known, even as Zeven, that he was... not capable of true love, not in the same way others were. Others were able to experience a whole, all-encompassing, love and he never had been.

The Dark Side had always been there and he had always allowed it a place inside of himself that remained unchanged. How could he ever love like the Jedi, like the Mandos, like the civilians of the Galaxy when a large part of his heart would always be closed off to them?

He swallowed thickly.

"... I can't."

It was weakness!

It was such sour, disgusting, abhorrent weakness!

"Damn me for this... this cowardice but I... I can't do it." he told Arda quietly as he allowed himself his tears again, "Please Jedi... Arda... can you do it? Give her peace I just... I can't burn her... I can't."

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

He was rather blunted while assisting her creating the pyre, however, when the time came, all those walls shattered as the realization that his love was gone. His voice cracked as he protested, and Arda felt a moment of shock to realize someone who was so dedicated to the darkside to be still capable of feeling, the humane characteristics one is born and raised on. Perhaps, it wasn't always what it seemed, after all, they were mortal as much as she was and like all mortals, they had emotions. Tears ran down his face as he asked her to start the pyre instead. She studied him for a moment, her brow furrowed, a frown of concern formed, a contradiction of how he could no longer harm her, but it was he who took her life, that debate though was reserved for a different time.

"Zeven," she spoke softly, "Zeven, she is at peace, no more harm can come to her." she explained, stepping to the small fire that burned and pulled them a torch to light the pyre, however, she would not do it just herself, "Who lies there is just a shell, she lives on inside you, and me, and everyone else she has touched, a cosmic essence that has shaped our thoughts and actions. She is not gone..." she glanced at the pyre, "No one is ever really gone."

Arda took his hand and placed on her own that held the torch and together they would light the pyre, "We are all connected in some way or another through the weaves of the Force, in a manner of balance, as there is life, there is death, but from death, there can always be life." she continued, "And what life has she given you in return?" her question was meant to be rhetorical; Arda glanced at Zeven while gently rubbing his back with her palm in comfort as the pyre quickly caught fire.

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

Gods be damned but why did the Jedi have to know that name? It stung that she knew his name. It stung because it was the name that Nikka had used for him even after he ascended to the rank of Sith Lord. It was the name his wife had insisted she use and the name he hadn't had the heart to forbid her from using.

When she had finally referred to him as Tagus it had almost physically hurt.

"She is at peace because of my violence - I've done enough to her." he reasoned quietly but he was... almost unresistant as she picked up the torch, "I'm sure I will carry her with me."

Left unsaid was that it would never be a comfort for him. Whereas Arda would be able to hold onto a part of Nikka and find solace in it, Tagus would never feel that. He would hold a part of her to him and it would weigh him down. He flinched ever so slightly when she took his hand.

But he didn't pull away.

"... I suppose she gave me life." he admitted as he slowly helped Arda light the pyre, "A life where someone wasn't afraid of me or busy hating me. A life I could feel free to just live."

The flames caught.

Tagus watched as they quickly began to consume her.

"Goodbye."

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

He didn't resist when she had taken his hand and they both looked on as the former Knight's body was returned to ash; she listened as the Sith spoke and finally speaking softly, telling Nikka goodbye. Arda frowned and glanced at the Sith, understanding his pain and the conflict that stirred within him, though she was certain she would never understand the extent of his pain, she knew it was love that had freed him from the burdens of what he was molded to be by the Empire. In a different life, he could have possibly made a great Jedi and a loyal husband, but in this one, that was not the case and now he would have to live with the guilt of having to take the life of an innocent, a life that gave him meaning, a life he loved in order to achieve something that not even Arda could fully understand.

Destiny for their fates was not enough for the Jedi Master, but she was certain she would not have any further answer than that. Perhaps it wasn't something to delve further into as what has been done was complete and Nikka had to suffer for it.

The wind blew over the lake, stirring the smoke and ash as it carried it back over the waters, finding a final resting spot for the Knight, it could be somewhere too where Zeven could visit, remember where his wife would be finally resting even if carried the invisible pieces of her in his heart.

It would be hours before the pyre would burn thoroughly, leaving the smoldering ash pile, but Arda stayed the entire time, to see it through, "Would there be anything else you wish to speak to me about before I leave." she asked him quietly, she was uncertain why she felt obligated to ask, the Jedi inside her pressed to heal the broken and the lost. Zeven seemed to fit from both categories and this situation proved the grey qualities of war and those who carried their promise with the light or dark.

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

And it was over, it was done.

It took hours for it to be truly over but through it all, Tagus... Tagus held Arda's hand and allowed his mind to wander as he thought about the time he had spent with Nikka. As he thought about the future he had dreamed of having with her before the Dark Side called for him to make a sacrifice of what he truly cared about most. It wasn't something that brought him any joy but he kept it up, he continued to think about it.

Because soon he knew he would not think about her again.

He knew that he would wall up his memories of her, his thoughts and feelings of her, to better keep himself from sliding into despair to begin with. And after that threat passed, it would be because it was easier. Because it would be comfortably familiar to forget her and move on by that stage.

For today he grieved but tomorrow he would forget.

Looking at the Jedi, Tagus noticed that he was still holding her hand. He stared down at their hands for a moment before shaking his head a little bit and letting go with no small amount of reluctance.

"You're a good Jedi, Arda Breaux."

He smirked ever so slightly.

"That's usually kind of an insult from a Sith, I imagine, but it's the truth." he allowed his smirk to linger, "In another life we could have been friends. Maybe we still will be as close to friends as a Jedi and Sith can be - I don't know. Is there anything you want to say?"

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

This entire ordeal did not go the way she had expected to go, though she was never too sure how it would have gone down as when she first arrived, she expected this whole thing to be trap, but instead it turned out something quite different. Almost humbling as they were seemingly both brought back down to the realities of who they really are and how they have been divided by an entity that was more powerful than the both of them combined. She felt Tagus release her hand following her question as though he was suddenly remembering who he was supposed to be and who she was to him. Though what he would say next took her aback, her brow flinched in a moment of confusion as the compliment came from a Sith.

He explained, emphasizing the legitimacy of his comment, even suggesting in a different life, they could have been friends. Arda's face of contorted confusion reflected his smirk with one of her own, "You are a baffling one," or perhaps it was more baffling how long she saw the Sith as the monsters that hid under the bed at night and how much that idea still lingered regardless of how much she convinced herself they were just trying to survive in a galaxy as much as she was, "Thank you, I can see how Nikka could have liked you."

She fell quiet for a moment glancing at the pyre, "Though, yes, perhaps in another life, if things were different, we could have been friends." however, she wondered how quickly this pageant would fade by morning, "You have heart though, you will not be the last Sith I would meet who does and I hope that our last meeting will not be between our sabers." Arda patted the side of his arm as she spoke, before giving a gentle squeeze of reassurance in her words. She stepped back and bowed, "I will take my leave then, Tagus, may the Force be with you."

@Nefieslab