Dawn of The Republic | The Republic of Zoraav

[Zekec2020]

REPUBLIC OF ZORAAV ​

((Anyone that joins can also help develop/decide stuff while it is still in the making!))
In addition to hefty salaries and fun, you can gain access to the following!

• A Republic of Zoraav made droid of your choice, there are several!
• Team missions on several planets, raids, and great story arcs, rewards and even become a chieftain(King/Emperor)
• Republic Transportation and even your own small ship!
• Zoraav servants and guards!
• Credits, Credits, and More Credits!
• More Coming!

History
(Yes- it kind of focuses on a person, but it is what led to the creation of it, if you need help fitting a character with this backstory I will gladly help)

For years the species of Koraav were subjugated to slavery, hard labor that killed millions. It all started when Koraav was discovered, a Sith ship crash landed on Koraav, and spoke of good intentions. More sith came, build cities, said they were the friends of the people of Koraav. They lived side by side with the races of Koraav for years, trading throughout the galaxy, and helping each other. Then, six years after they colonized Koraav, forces by the millions stormed the villages of the Nortaul and Vaxarn, taking all women, children and men to become slaves in distant worlds and on Koraav. They killed millions that fought back the invasion, including the leaders of the Nortaul. They easily overwhelmed the planet and enslaved everyone, putting them to hard labor. They put them to work in farms, mines, space ports and even executed them for fun. There were many revolts, killing only a few hundred sith, and thousands of Koraavvians.

A Nortaul named Phegoria was born as a slave, to parents that were slaves of the Sith general overseeing everything on Koraav. As a girl Phegoria was made to play with the General's daughter until she was old enough to work outside, and when she did not do something right, she was whipped. Phegoria was talented, at age seven her father could tell she was force-sensitive like he was, therefor he found a secret place and start training her to use her force powers, by the time she was 16 she was an expert at the moves he taught her. The rest of her life she worked hard on the farm, until a small rebel force of slaves raided the General's house and killed his family, and in the crossfire her parents died also, and from that time on she swore to get revenge.

By the time Phegoria was 29 years old she had gathered thousands of slaves in a secret location and started training them to fight. They then coordinated several assaults on sith cities, surprisingly winning. The Nortaul resistance easily conquered their island back with the strong leadership of several Nortauls and the strength of many others. The Nortauls then went to help the Vaxarn, which they got to join their resistance fairly easily, and got more strong soldiers and leaders to help lead the fight. After many years the great leaders and soldiers won their freedom, claiming the world for themselves.

Discussions quickly arose what will happen now with the new technology, the united army and its leaders, and more. The Vaxarn and Nortauls agreed to an uneasy alliance after decades of war, but that alliance did not survive long. Three years after the alliance was made, a massacre in a Nortaul political building, which was supposedly done by a Vaxarn. The Nortauls quickly retaliated with a full-scale invasion of the Vaxarn. The war waged on for another year, with many causalities on both sides.

During a Vaxarn invasion of the Nortaul Island the sith once again returned and bombed, pillaged and killed Koraav Inhabitants. An emergency meeting was held between the racial leaders, and agreeing to put aside their differences, The great leaders and soldiers of Koraav were called upon again to help defend, and defeat the sith once again. It takes them two months to repel the invasion, once again having a victory, but losing many soldiers. After the last invasion, the Vaxarn and Nortual decided to unite, becoming a planet-wide faction, making the founding of The Republic of Zoraav.

Paths
Paths are the different things you can do in the Republic, what path will you choose?​

• The Soldiers - The thriving most active part of the republic, Soldiers are the backbone of the republic, defending and fighting for our cause. They make a lot of money and end up becoming leaders, using guns and swords. They can conquer, go on missions, and fill bounties against criminals of the Republic. {High Access}
• The Quara - The men and women use "magic" to fight against our enemies, using the force to control and use fire to damage enemies as well as making things freeze. These are considered royals and elites of the Republic, and do anything to protect the republic and their beliefs. {Limited Access}

Ranks and Positions
There are several ranks and positions in the Republic, influenced by the path you choose when joining. More ranks will be added.
​

Military Ranks (Soldier Path)

The Grand Nahagel - Leader of the Republic.
Council of Jahaga - A council of Chieftains of the multiple kingdoms and other groups in the Republic.
Ambassador - Politicians that are sent to other worlds for long-term meetings or permanently, unless ordered to leave.
Diplomat - Politicians that are sent off-world to negotiate with other factions for short-term.​

Jahaga - Jahaga's are chieftains, which each have their own private armies.
Grand Corporal - Lead battles and are the second highest military rank
Captain - Expert of the battlefield, can lead large squads on missions
Cadet - New to the armed forces, fights for the military.​

Force Ranks (Quara Path)
High Council- Elders and masters at the art of Quara(The Force)
General- Skilled with the force and lead armies into battles
Warrior - Disciple of The Force, basic guards and soldiers of Quara
Vadalen - Students of The Force, being taught their ways by a General or higher.
New One- Young student with an affinity for the force

Products
Although private and new fairly new to technology, Zoraav has made and is making many wonders with it, as you can see below. Only government officials and soldiers know about these, and can get some for themselves.
Droids
KAT-01 Series Combat Droid
Speeders

Other Vehicles

Utilities

Firearms

Land & Assets
Along with their capitol of Zoraav, The Republic has other planets and buildings on other planets. All are listed below.
Land/Planets
Zoraav - Capitol with many cities and factories.
Facilities
Personnel
10,000 Civilians
600 Manufacturers/Factory Workers(Should I just combine this with civilians?)
4,000 Primitive Soldiers(Swords, Spears, Bows)
250 Soldiers(With Advanced Weapons)
25 Quara(Force Users)
Ships & Tech
2 Corvettes


Roster (Interested or Confirmed Joining)
I had to be inactive for a while, need to reconfirm these
Isabella Rae Jarrus
Xakthul
Jaylor
Sverina Varm
Seiya​

 

[Zekec2020]

Reserved comment in case I need it. :)

 

[Outlander]

Currently writing some Critique. Should be up in a little while.

 

[Zekec2020]

Currently writing some Critique. Should be up in a little while.

Ok! Thanks...kind of nervous.

 

[Outlander]

Ok! Thanks...kind of nervous.

Nah, don't worry. I actually think this is significantly better than some of your old writeups, which is good.

 

[Outlander]

OK! here it goes:

First thing's first, I like the backstory It creates it's own setting, characters, and story within the Star Wars Universe. However, this is also my first critique; you put of emphasis on one character. You even state that fact yourself. While it's OK to have a leading figure behind a faction, I do it with my own faction to a degree, it's generally good to put more emphasis on the group as a whole. The more focus falls on a single character, the less it feels like others can carve out their own path.

Next; Paths. You have too many; it seems like you're trying to do too many things at once, and it'll lead to an incredibly unfocused group. When it comes down to you, you need to decide what things your group will focus on, generally. As of now, you have an army, a force order, a manufacturing group, and a diplomacy group. Ideally, you would remove the diplomats, and then pick two of the remaining three. Now, this doesn't mean other groups can be present in backstories and such. But the only way you could really pull off something of this scale is with major player backing, and even then it's very risky.

Somewhat connected to the previous issues, just have one ranking system. Two is just unnecessary, and can get a bit confusing.

I don't believe you're allowed to have a whole planet from the start? Don't quote me on that, but I think that's how it works.

Finally, I believe your NPC numbers are a bit off. Like, 10k civilians is small even for a small city. And 4,000 warriors is waaaaaay too many.

I believe that's everything. I may go back later and make sure I covered it all, but this should get you going in the right direction.

 

[Zekec2020]

Thanks, and I was not sure on the territory or anything...since it is revolved/made by an alliance of the two species living on the planet.