Evaar'la Burc'yan

[Nephill Kilner]

Neph noted the uptake in enthusiasm caused by the flight, filing that note away for future reference. Finally something the girl liked. "Of course, any time," he said, knowing that flying was something he had always taken for granted even though many beings never learned the skill. He had never taught someone before, but he wouldn't let her know that. It promised future interaction, after all...

He could feel her eyes burning into his face even though they were masked beneath her buy'ce. He flipped the ship on autopilot and swiveled in his pilot's chair to focus on her, his eyes piercing through her T-visor, reading her carefully...and conveying emotion. In his head, he couldn't help but wish to see her face unmasked...the only time he had ever felt this way. His whole life had been around T-visors, and he knew all the tricks to read friends that were almost entirely masked beneath a seemingly impassive helmet. But he felt a strange need to see her youthful face, meet her eyes with his....

Of course he kept all these thoughts bottled safely up inside his head, but without his awareness, some of the passion he was thinking about was conveyed in his eyes - in a very subtle, shy way. Not leery at all.

As he began his tale, his pupils glassed over in the fashion that they always did when Neph was recounting the past...

"We were camped in a forest. It was winter. Snow everywhere...up to the cetare....some days you couldn't feel your hands, even through your beskar'gam...I had just woken up, I had my blade out, shaving the warrior way. Huge explosion on our right flank. Twenty vode gone, all to a missile....I dropped my knife, picked up my rifle, turned to face the aruetiise but it was too late. Son of a barve was on me, scraped me across the cheek with a virborbayonet," he said, clearly playing down the injury. To leave a scar like that, the injury must have "scraped" to bone. "Managed to push his rifle away and wrest it out of his hands, but we both fell back into the trench. I got beat up pretty bad in a grapple. Couldn't get that damned son of a barve off of me, and in committing to an offensive strategy, he pretty much got free reign to mash up my face. Only a vod saving my shebs is the reason I'm still here." He paused, his fingers nervously tapping against his leg. Zara would quickly notice this was one of Neph's nervous habits. He resumed his narrative after several moments. "Anyways....I hate ice worlds. And never take off my buy'ce in the field." A laugh pre-empting his next statement. "I grow some pretty nice beards now," he said, ending on a positive note and giving a wry grin to soften the mood.

 

[Nike]

With some curiosity Zara noted the strange way Neph was looking at her, staring at her, it felt like. She turned away, as if towards a noise only she heard, but looked back at him after a moment. Swallowing some of her unease, she took of her helmet to meet his gaze with a raised eyebrow. Before she could wonder what it meant, or consider confronting him, he started his story, and she’d always been a sucker for a good story. Plus, it was different listening to a warrior explain a scar than listening to her brother talk about a long dead Jedi.

Zara listened with her hands clasped and her elbows resting on the top of her legs as she leaned towards him, completely enraptured. Other thoughts were pushed aside. Halfway through, she whistled shrilly and muttered, “Hell of a scrape, vod.” For the most part, though, she was a good audience. When he finished, she joined his laughter with a small chuckle of her own and her lips had a definite upward turn.

“Impressive,” she said, leaning back in her seat and running her fingers across her face. “I want an impressive scar. But I guess you’ve got to do something impressive to get one.” She mused aloud now, not entirely aware she was actually speaking. “Not under my eye. Maybe over my eye. I could get a cybernetic eye, then.”

 

[Nephill Kilner]

Neph had to smile at her out loud musings. With most, he would have scoffed and treated their comments with derision. A serious man, Neph tended to avoid entertaining any type of war fantasy or over-glamorization.

But Zara seemed to be proving the exception over and over.

"All in good time," was all he said with a small chuckle, his disapproval still showing through despite his efforts to mask it.

After a brief moment of awkward silence, the Mandalorian made the first move by turning back around in his seat. "We are on approach to the Aliit Kilner Homestead!" he said with grandeur and pomp in his voice.

The brief urban landscape of Keldabe had long-faded to dense forest, and was now thinning into rolling plains and flatlands.

The descent of the craft was decidedly less exciting then the takeoff, although Neph did make it more exciting then a programmed approach, initiating a steep dive to lose a few hundred feet before bringing the ship to a rapid stop as a building came into view.

The craft settled down, repulsorlifts whining as the engines powered down.

"Well, she's an eyesore...but still my home, nonetheless. Come on inside, I'll fix us up some drinks...juice," he said, wagging his eyebrows mischievously after letting a long pause in between the words. He liked when she acted protective.

"Crates later."

He took the lead, humming seemingly absentmindedly as he lowered the ship's landing ramp, stepping into bright daylight as a two story ranch house came into view.

Clearly once magnificent, the building had clearly been neglected in recent years. The wood boards were worn by the elements, and leaves from several trees nearby were left to rot in the gutters. The paint was chipping.

Neph ascended the few steps, which creaked when subjected to weight, and opened the unlocked door, which was unattached at the middle hinge. The interior is better than the exterior. Plain, the walls have retained their plain white paint, and is surprisingly well furnished, with wooden chairs, immaculately carved stone tables, and various souvenirs from all over the galaxy adorning most of the space, including skulls, medallions and other ornaments, pieces of bone, feathers, and even rocks. All were centered around the theme of conquest and adventure.

The first floor was composed of a central hallway which led directly into the kitchen, with two other large rooms: the living room on the left, which was the most decorated, and the dining room on the right, which main fixture was a massive table carved out of Keldabe oak and inlaid with drawings and writing in chronological order, much like a tapestry. There were also three sets of stairs leading up.

In fact, the interior of the house looked as if it was ready to host a party at all times. There wasn't a speck of dust to be seen, and every spot at the thirty something-seat table had a fresh plate setting.

This was all explained when a house droid, two meters tall, and moving on a large wheel as a motor device, wheeled past with dust sweeper arm attachment selected. The droid is a simple one, and does not acknowledge the two's presence in the slightest, fixated only on its programming.

Neph led Zara straight into the kitchen, which had a large enough kitchen to act as a playground for a Core World culinary team. Neph went straight to the bottle cabinet, which he opened to reveal a long and well stocked five by five row of alcoholic beverages of all ages and areas inside. He clearly meant to show it off and briefly terrorize Zara teasingly, as he only stared at the bottles for a few moments before closing the cabinet door with the slightest amounts of reluctance before turning to a refrigeration unit and opening it. Withdrawing a jug of fresh fruit juice, and reaching over to two washed glasses lying upturned on the counter, he poured the orange liquid three quarters high and pushed it over to Zara, holding it up for a toast.

"Homestead's not much, so I hope you won't judge. But to your...health," he said, surprisingly softly, his eyes locking into hers and digging deep once more.

 

[Nike]

Immediately, Zara knew she had done something wrong, she could hear it in Neph’s voice. Something about what she said had upset him, and that felt like a solid punch in the chest. What was worse was that she didn’t know what it was. Her smile faded, she bit her lower lip, and her brow furrowed. Quickly, though, her expression fell completely and she looked impassively at her hands. Was it bad to want a scar? Or to not already have one? She shot a look at Neph, who had turned back around, suddenly she wanted her helmet back on.

Rolling her shoulders, she tired to push the questions from her mind, but they ate away at the back of her thoughts. She looked up when he announced that they were almost there, even forcing a thin smile. He was obviously proud of him home, a glance out the window showed her why. The land was beautiful. Most of her life had been spent in a crowded city, or on a ship. It must have been nice to grow up with space to explore.

Her expression tightened when Neph mentioned the drinks. She crossed her arm and muttered “Not funny,” as she followed him off the ship. Soon, she got her first good look at the building, and raised an eyebrow in surprise. It had once been as beautiful as the land surrounded it, she could tell, but now an air of neglect covered it. Obviously, no one had lived there for a while.

Still silent and a little moody, Zara lagged a few feet behind Neph as she followed him into the house. Inside, things were much different, she probably could’ve spent a good hour examining everything in the living room alone. She ran her fingers over the dining table as they passed it and made a note to ask Neph about the cravings when she wasn’t trying not to care. In the kitchen, she promptly jumped onto one of the counters and sat swinging her legs slightly. When he opened the cabinet, clearly messing with her now, Zara rolled her eyes and looked away, studying the tile floor as he got them drinks. She took her glass when offered it, but still didn’t look at Neph until he proposed the toast. It was his voice that made her stomach twist a little, and when she met his eyes, she saw the same strange looks at before on the ship. She narrowed her eyes, more in confusion than anything, and said without thinking, “Why are you staring at me like that, vod?”

 

[Nephill Kilner]

Neph noted her narrowed eyes and sudden question. He let out an easy laugh and let the moment go as he tipped his glass back to take a hearty swig of the drink.

"Nothing," he said with a playful shrug.

He abruptly changed the subject.

"Do you want to see the house? Not much of its that exciting...s' been empty for a good few years now..." his voice trailed off. He truly was lost on what to do next, and he felt the moment reverting back to awkwardness.

Saved by the commlink.

His buy'ce began beeping its incoming call tone, and he unclipped it from his belt and slipped it over his face like a second skin, his facial features disappearing behind the flat and impassive T visor. No sound came out of the Mandalorian for several minutes as he engaged in conversation with the hailer.

Midway through the call, Neph moved away from the counter, juice abandoned, and began to pace in clear agitation, the juice forgotten.

 

[Nike]

Zara's eyes narrowed further, this time in anger, when Neph laughed off her question. Obviously, it was something. Before she could argue, though, he changed the subject. For half a moment, she glared at him, but eventually rolled her eyes and shrugged. If he didn't want to tell her, fine. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of chasing down the answer. Besides, what he had said about the house being empty sparked her curiosity. “I was wondering about that,” she started to say, “I expected—”

Suddenly, Neph’s comlink beeped and Zara faded into polite silence. Juice in hand, she jumped off the counter and casually explored the kitchen, leaving the other to his call. After she had walked completely around, opening a few drawers and throwing a glance at Neph occasionally, she made her way towards the dining room. Before she left though, she gave him one more look and stopped short. Apparently, his conversation wasn’t going well.

Setting her juice on the counter, she walked up beside where he paced and studied him with her brow furrowed and her head cocked. “What’s the matter?” she asked empathetically. “How can I help?”

 

[Nephill Kilner]

Neph was completely unaware of Zara's exploring, and only when she approached did he take notice of her and trigger his buy'ce's voice system.

"Trouble. I've been called for a deployment. It seems I will finally enter the war effort," he said, his voice tight and guarded, clearly hiding mixed feelings about the call.

"I...I don't have to leave immediately, I have some time before I have to get my things together...." he said, his tone and body language hopeless as he struggled with what he should be doing, which was to make preparations for a possibly lengthy deployment and possible death, and maximizing these peaceful moments for as long as he could with Zara.

"I'm sorry Zar'ika...Osik! The only time I try something like this, this has to happen," he said, anger seeping into his voice as he turned away, clearly referring to additional things besides the problem at hand - although the nature of those "things" probably went clear over Zara's head - to Neph's benefit.

 

[Nike]

Initially, Zara was a little startled by the tone in his voice, and then confused. Her eye brow rose and she crossed her arms as she studied him. "It had to happen sometime," she said, a little harsher than she intended. He was lucky. Being on the front was an honor she hadn't had yet. After a moment of thought, though, her stomach sank. That meant he had to leave. Strange and irritating as he was, she had enjoyed her time with Neph. He was good natured, even when she wasn't, and with plenty of interesting stories to tell. Even drunk, he had a vibrancy to him. There was a darkness in him, too, a mystery she wanted to figure out. And now it was too late.

He seemed upset as well, though she wondered if her just didn't want to join the war. She was sure there were some who didn't support the imperial cause, but he didn't strike her as the kind. The slight pressing of her lips together was the only outward sound of her own disappointment. She shrugged her shoulders. "I can help, if you want. We've still got to unload the crates." She tried to keep her voice casual, and for the most part thought it worked.

The anger in his voice confused her again. "Don't apologize. I understand... Why are you mad, vod? What were you trying to do?"

 

[Nephill Kilner]

"Nothing, nothing," Neph said, forcing his tone to return calm. "Yeah, why don't we get to those crates," he said after a moment, his new voice overly cheerful.

He hastily exited the house and opened up the ship's cargo ramp, dashing a little bit ahead of Zara. Once inside of his beloved new ship, his temper swelled and he lashed out, slamming the shiny hull with a neat two hit convo that reverberated throughout the metal and made his knuckles sore.

He muted his buy'ce's vocal unit and let out a steady stream of harsh curses within the confines of the helmet as he agitatedly began loading crates onto repulsorlifts in the cargo haul, and then grunting under the weight as he moved them outside. Neph then moved them into a sizable shed standing separate from the homestead, his frustration only showing in his body language. He doesn't even take stock of Zara any more, stepping around as if he was about to explode at any moment.

 

[Nike]

Zara watched Neph leave with her arms crossed tightly over her chest. She stood in the kitchen by herself for a minute, chewing on her lip. What was his problem? Was it something she'd done? All day he had laughed off or waved away her questions, and it was starting to grate on her nerves. With a heavy sigh, she followed him out, debating whether she should confront him. No. If he wanted to talk to her, he would. She bit her lip harder. That didn't seem right. But what could she do?

Several of the crates were already stacked on the lift when she walked into the ship. His movements were stiff and angry and he was silent. With concern, Zara noted the dent in the hull that hadn't been there before. She let him walk away again, her chest heavy. She had to at least try and do something. Finally, pulling back her shoulders, she stormed towards the shed with purpose.

"Enough is enough, Nephill." He voice was low and intense and she added a small shove for emphasis. She tried to make herself look angry and fed up, but some of her concern seemed to leak through. "Listen di'kut. You're acting like a child. Stop your temper tantrum and talk to me, or else..." she trailed off, swallowing hard. What would she do? "Or else...I'll leave you to it. I'm not dealing this." Maybe. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to just walk away, but that was for him to find out.

 

[Nephill Kilner]

As soon as Zara entered the cargo hold, he whirled around to face her, hands held limply at his sides, whole body seemingly held up by a string. With the completion of her words, Nephill seemed to wilt.

Gently removing his buy'ce, all aggressiveness faded, he set the "bucket" on a nearby cargo crate and sank onto an adjacent one, using it to support his weight - although not fully sitting on it.

"Ni ceta..." he said softly, each word bitter and full of emotion. The second work crumpled a bit leaving his mouth, and it was clear Nephill was not a man accustomed to apologizing to anything because of pride - let alone this most groveling of apologies.

"I offer no excuse. I will not blame you if you wish to leave and have nothing to do with me," he said simply in Mando'a, his accent complex, with a mix of both urban and rural roots mixed with some sort, if not several sorts, of offworld influence. His tone was monotone, and he met her eyes solidly with a masked expression as he intoned the words. It seemed he was settling into an almost...pre-designed routine at this point. Her words and his realization of his actions had clearly struck a chord - and a chord that was not new to being struck, as well.

It was becoming clearer that Nephill was not the "dead husk" that some soldiers became - but a conflicted, overemotional warrior whose passions could range from benefit to detriment, but nonetheless seemed to be amounting to a fair share of trouble for the man unintentionally. It was clear that war and his experiences had made him into this, and that he was not like this originally - and also that this was the repressed version of an earlier self. In fact, in his merc days, Neph was the type of gun that would kill without blinking, worrying only when the next hit, toke, drink, and easy girl was, getting by day by day only and relying on aggressiveness to survive. This was as civilized as he had been in several years, and it was clear being amongst so many conflicting memories was causing him issues even as he struggled courageously to put his life back together. This understanding and knowledge, if interpreted correctly, could provide an eye-opening explanation for his seemingly irrational and immature actions.

 

[Nike]

All anger fell from Zara's face, she couldn't help it. Her brow furrowed intently and her lips parted slightly. At her side, her arms hung and her fingers flexed and unflexed. The apology was almost shocking. Every time she expected him to push back against her, fight her, defend himself, he...didn't. She wasn't use to that. More than that, the pain in his voice, it broke something inside her. Her heart, maybe, she couldn’t be sure. Whatever it was, it made her want to reach out to him, embrace him, comfort him. She took a step back. “Fine.” There was a slight stutter in her voice. She swallowed hard and looked over her shoulder. “Okay. I’ll…I’ll leave…”

Except she couldn’t do it anymore then she could abandon an injured bird. He needed her. A slight sigh escaped her lips and she closed the gap between them. Silently, she perched herself on the crate beside him, so close their thighs almost touched. “Fine,” she said again, very softly. Her hand reached over and hovered awkwardly over his knee. “You…don’t have to say anything.” She paused, looking at him from the corner of her eye. “You don’t…you’ll never…have to explain yourself to me. I’m here.

“Besides, it’s a long walk back to Keldabe.”

 

[Nephill Kilner]

At that, he let out a small chuckle. His expression remained the same, and it was clear even though Zara had let him off the hook, he hadn't let himself off the hook.

"Must you leave so soon? I mean...this doesn't speak well at all for my hospitality..." he said, voice trailing off as his hand placed itself hesitantly over hers, and then enveloping it into hers if she let him.

Looking into her eyes with guarded, but clearly present emotions, he carefully gauged her reaction to his actions, his face revealing nothing and letting the moment be ambiguous - the hand-holding could be clearly platonic, or it could be romantic, depending on where she took it next, although his face clearly allowed for an invitation for her to show how she felt either way...

"Of course, if you want, I can take you back right now. It's not far," he added, letting all the possibilities hang thick in the air.

 

[Nike]

With a crooked grin, Zara bumped her shoulder against his. "You're a terrible host, actually. I didn't even get to finish my drink." She didn't even try to check her soft smile, didn't even think about doing it. Neph was still sad, and comforting him made her forget her image, at least for the moment.

Still, it surprised her when he placed his hand on her's. Instinctively she flinched, as if to pull away, but stopped herself. Her expression was soft, almost empty. He'd held her hand earlier, she remembered as she studied their gloves over top each other. Heat crept into her face as she met his gaze. The expression in his eyes reminded her of the look her father gave her mother after a fight. Biting her lip, she turned away while both her heart and her thoughts sped up. Oh. The smiles, the strange looks, it was all starting to come together. Unsure of what to do with this revelation, she looked back at their hands. It was strange. She was use to smiles from strangers when she went without her buy'ce, but this was different. He was different.

Hesitantly, she slowly turned her hand over and intertwined their fingers together. A small smile formed on her lips, but it didn't quite touch her eyes. She studied him, searching his face to see that she'd interpreted him the right way. "If you want me to go. I'm sure you have stuff to do before deployment..." she trailed off. "I mean...I want to stay. If you want me to."

Energy pricked at her legs, like insects crawling under her armor. She'd been still too long. Abruptly, she stood, but left her hand in his hands if he'd let her. "Besides, is this Kilner hospitality? You haven't even showed me around the house."

 

[Nephill Kilner]

Little electric shocks were running through Neph's body, and he was reacting almost instinctively now, all rational thoughts disappearing. How he missed these feelings...

"I want you to stay. And the house isn't going anywhere," he said softly, clutching her hand gently. Suddenly, his other hand moved to pull her in closer to him by the waist. He could see it in her eyes, and he now could do what he longed to do with confidence that it wouldn't damage what relationship they had now...

His hand then unlatching itself from hers, he grasped her cheek tenderly and pulled her in, pausing before he pushed his lips forward onto hers, to allow her one last chance to back out. If she did not, then he kissed her solidly on the lips, and gently, and with obvious experience, moved to push his tongue forward, all the while caressing her face while his other hand moved to envelop her entire waist and pull her into his body...

 

[Nike]

A fire started in Zara’s chest and spread across her whole body, tingling in her fingers and flushing her cheeks a bright pink. Eyes wide, she looked at Neph and bit her lip. “T-t-then I’ll st-tay. And we c-can stay…here…” Her voice trailed off and she looked down at the very little distance between them. One of his hands still held hers, while the other rested on her waist, pulling her closer still. She hadn’t been so physically close to someone since, well, she couldn’t remember. Feeling obligated to say something, anything, she opened her mouth. “I…” Whatever she’d thought to say was quickly forgotten as Neph placed a gently covered her burning cheek with his hand. Probably wasn’t important, anyways.

Then he kissed her.

For a moment, Zara didn’t know what to do. Pressed against his chest, she stood completely still, her arms hanging by her sides. Just the smell of him, warm and clean, overwhelmed her. She couldn’t think, so she stopped trying to. Slowly, her eyes closed and a crooked smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as she kissed him back. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she stretched up on her toes to make up the height difference. Soon, one of her arms looped completely around his neck while the other hand rested on the back of his head. It wouldn’t have surprised her if he felt her heart beating through both their armor.

She was the first to break this kiss, slowly lowering herself back from off her toes. Not a soft smile or a smirk hidden behind her hand, but a real, beaming grin stretched across her face as she looked up at Neph. On impulsive, she took a hand and placed on the side of his face, tracing his scar with her thumb. Bit by bit, her brain started to work again and the realization of what she’d done sank in. Her face fell. Unable to even pretend to be in control of her emotions, she began to speak very fast, tripping over the words and never getting a full sentence out. “I…That…Was that…okay? I m-mean…Are we allowed...Wayii.” She groaned softly. Her face burned so hotly she was sure it glowed.

Fully come to her senses, she couldn’t look him in the eyes as she put her hands on his chest and tried to gently push him away. She knew he was stronger than her, though, and if he didn’t want to let her go she wasn’t sure she could break free. Not without hurting him, at least. She wasn’t sure if she could do that. Then again, she wasn’t even sure she wanted him to let her go.

 

[Nephill Kilner]

Neph lost himself for a moment in the feeling of the kiss, and in those seconds, he felt that he could kiss her forever...

Time seemed to stretch into years, and he felt like a lifetime had past when their lips finally separated. He opened his eyes to stare into hers, full with emotion. His heart was pounding, and he felt...alive, more of a man, more of feeling human being once again...

The regret hit him the same time it hit her. What in haran?

All he knew were that these...rediscovered, reexperienced emotions were far from good. He refused to remember last time...

Although it was already fading away, he still clutched on to it, albeit futilely, for a few last seconds...as soon as Zara tugged to gently free herself from the embrace, his arms melted like jelly and he separated away from her as smoothly as she disengaged herself from him.

"No idea. But it felt right as anything ever done in this galaxy..." he said softly, trailing off - there was a sense of what could loosely be described as 'awe' in his tone. He hadn't had an actual emotional kiss since...

"It doesn't matter," he said abruptly, somewhat angrily - but it was more frustrated than impassioned or violent. Sad.

"Not much time...not much time," he muttered loudly under his breath, and he began to move at the crates.

What just happened...? He had just...done it. And here he was, feeling as foolish as a schoolboy with his crush. And she had kissed him back. He stopped at his silly gesture at lifting at a crate and just stared at her, reliving the fading moment and the emotions in the air, and looked to see if there was any indicator at all as to how she was feeling in return now that the moment had passed.

 

[Nike]

Just stepping away from him wasn’t enough to clear her head. She retreated several feet away, finding a wall to lean against and slide down, but his scent still lingered in the air, clinging to her, she supposed. It seemed somewhere along the way from Keldabe to here she had stopped being a verd. Now all that was left was a young woman with her knees pulled up to her chest, and her face burrowed in them to hide her wavering smile. Because someone had kissed her. A stranger, really, but like he said, it felt right. She felt ridiculous, and most of her didn’t care.

He seemed upset. At this point, Zara had given up on trying to decipher or even bother asking him about his emotions. But his words sparked something inside her and she responded softly, with cautious passion. “It mattered. Matters. To me.” Maybe it wasn’t special to him, but her own romantic experience was obviously less than his was. Even that thought couldn’t kill the warmth in her stomach.

As he began messing with the crates again, she stayed up against the wall. Her thoughts alternated between the memories of the kiss, and all the reasons it was a bad idea. For one, she hardly knew him. She stole a quick glance at him. Two, he was a fellow cabur. There had to be a rule against that. And…three…She couldn’t think. He was staring at her.

From the corner of her eyes, she could see it, and she could feel his gaze pricking at her skin. Another blush spread across her face and she let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Ne’pa…” she started to say, but she didn’t know what she was apologizing for. “I…I’ve only kissed one person before, and you seem to have more…experience…and that was…incredible…and…” She got to her feet abruptly. “Where did I put my helmet,” she muttered to herself, walking away.