JOY-100 Public Presence Oberver

Cisco

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Snacks_Vending_Machine_by_Splayn.jpg

"Be Wary of the one on the left there, it's a bit shifty."

Affiliation: The Republic of Stienghast

Ownership: N/A

Intent: For the sake of a note, All hilarity aside, this is a serious submission. The rough intent of creating this droid is to provide a plot piece for The Republic of Stienghast rather than to serve an on the field combat role or any other supportive role for that matter. In a story situation, we are using these inconspicuous homicidal vending machines as spying devices both around or own territory and as sold to various foreign influences (Mostly NPC's for story purpose once again) such as small corporations, governments, and NGO's through a seemingly unaffiliated puppet company.

Model/Name: JOY-100 PPO Vending Machine

Class: Combat Droid

Locomotion: The JOY-100 Vending Machine rolls itself along on a set of four small wheels along its base ran by four separate electrical motors, these wheels being mounted on hydraulicly actuated pegs to change the machines height and adjust to steep inclinations. When the need to traverse rough terrain such as stairs, shag carpeting, or crapilly laid tiling comes into play the machine is equipped with a weak repulsorlift system, allowing it to hover at a slow rate. In terms of mobility it is able to wheel itself along propelled to a maximum speed of 30 kilometres an hour, taking approximately thirty seconds to build up that speed on a flat smooth plane. The Respulsor system is capable of lifting the Vending machine approximately fifteen centimetres per second to a maximum height of up to approximately 50 meters above whatever is directly below it.

Power Supply: Aside from childrens tears of insufficient change and stuck candy bars the JOY-100 draws is power from a large Lithium sulfur battery mounted on its bottom side, approximately as wide and deep as the machine itself is. Normally this is kept plugged in, or in an outdoor scenario fitted with solar panels atop it. When completely devoid of external charge it is capable of maintaining basic operational capacity for several weeks before running out of power. With all components at peak load, it is capable of maintaining operation for seven hours from a full charge.

Sensors: Mostly the standard set one would expect. Regular photoreceptors are mounted, alongside a pair sensitive to IR Radiation for night operations, are mounted on the front of the machine. Sets of microphones are mounted within its interior on each side, given small sets of holes to listed out of. Internally it is also mounted with a geiger counter, a general purpose communications array setup to communicate on a wide number of frequencies ranging from basic radio to internet based communications and nearfields. Despite public opinion, the Joy-100 is completely incapable of sensing fear, these allegations are completely false.

Size: 2 Meters tall, 1 Meter Wide, 0.9 Meters deep, 575 Kg

Composition: Durasteel, Polycarbonate, laminated glass, thermoplastic. ASBESTOS

Weapons:
- 65mm High Velocity Vending Cannon
Mounted within the regular vending receptacle the JOY-100 is equipped with the first of its weapons, a 65mm air powered cannon. Fed with an internal compressor, contents stored within the machines vending chamber be they soda cans or even something such as a grenade, can be chambered into the gun and launched at high velocity with a blast of air. These velocities, depending on the weight of the object being fired, average around 40 meters per second and holds a maximum effective range of approximately 130 meters. Most often used against unruly drunk customers. Requires about four seconds to reload.

- Magnetic Coin Accelerator
The Steinghast do not appreciate foreign currency, but having spare ammunition is something they can live with. Coins deposited within the machine are fed into a heavily scaled down rail gun system and fired violently from the machine. With a relatively slow rate of fire of one per second and a fairly high velocity of 750 meters per second, it is capable of doing serious damage to unarmoured targets if fired at full force. Much like the Vending cannon, a primarily 'Innocent' weapon for driving away machine rockers.

- Hyrdaulic Tipping Device
Not so much a weapon per se as it is a features. Affixed to the rear of the vending machine, and out of sight, is a pair of hydraulically powered pegs that can be ejected downwards to lift the rear end of the machine up and cause it to conveniently tip over onto unsuspecting people. Extremely dangerous and extremely lethal to those wearing soft armour or no armour at all though fairly easy to avoid. Weighing in at 475Kg, few are lucky enough to survive a good crushing when it happens.

- 10Kg Penthrite Charge[Uncommon]
In some cases, the JOY-100 is used for a bit more than just watching people. Should the Steinghast utterly and truely need something to dissappear, certain vending machines may be occasionally, albeit extremely rarely, equipped with an option 10Kg Pentaerythritol tetranitrate high explosive charge, effectively turning the machine into a 575Kg grenade capable of death and destruction. It has a Primary explosion radius of approximately 25 Meters (Shock wave) and a secondary explosive radius of nearly 75 meters (Shrapnel). Most units such as moderately armoured vehicles and appropriately armoured indviduals are generally safe within the secondary blast radius, within the primary blast radius an armoured vehicle can be expected to sustain heavy damage though remain functional, most indvidvuals unless wearing specialised gear are unlikely to survive the shockwave. Because of its stable nature, it is extremely difficult to set off through attacks.

Tools:
- Electroactive Actuators
The Vending machine, in addition to its other features, also comes equipped with a pair of rope like tendrils fashioned from densly packed electroactive polymer strands. By finely controlling voltage throughout various strands the actuator is capable of free movement, bending and curving at various locations with accurate control. At the very tip the rop divides out into four smaller strands to be used to grab and interact with objects. The two are mounted the far left and right of the machines front. Whether it's stealing your credit card, actively trying you strangle you, or reading incriminating text messages on your phone, you can rest assured knowing Alien threat is being suppressed.

- Wireless Uplink
For the sake of transfering data, and making sure that the Stienghast are perfectly aware of how much of your personal information is being stolen, the JOY-100 comes further equipped with wireless capabilities, allowing it to transmit data over longer distances making use of existing communications infrastructure.

- Nearfield Communicator
Internally the Joy-100 also comes equipped with another communications device, a Near Field Communications transfer array. Operating on the 10-20 MHz spectrum it has an exceedingly low transmission range, less than 15cm. Standard communications over a single line is exceedingly slow, transferring only 500 kilobits of data per second, however, using the 10-20MHz spectrum and overlaying various wave patterns it multiplexes its transmissions, increasing both speed and interception difficulty. Overall it manages 10Mbits/s not enough for expansive files but enough for a disguised individual passing by to buy a drink and covertly download various images and audio files without so much as looking suspicious.

- RF Interception Systems
In addition to sending data, it is also capable of receiving it. With numerous attenae and storage devices within it is capable of listening in on broadcasted frequencies all over the Radio spectrum at once and record them. This ranges from simple citizen band systems, local news reports, radio, police transmissions. Though incapable of directly unencrypting anything itself, cryptologists working for the Steinghast can take such recordings and attempt to read them though this is not always possible, especially on heavily encrypted systems.

- RF Disruptor Systems
In the event of necessary total communications blackout, the interception system previously mentioned has another feature, a 10,000 Watt radio broadcaster. Though one alone isn't really able to do more than create incredible noise for a few blocks, several dozen of these machines are capable of completely putting the entire Steinghast capital and a portion of the surrounding area in a state of communications blackout.

Armour: This vending machine, as far as vending machines go, is highly armoured with a variety of armoured layerings. The outter skeleton is primarily constructed of durasteel, immune to most regular melee weapons short of vibroswords, guns though are expected to easily penetrate. Further on the front is a heavily reinforced pane of Polycarbonate, thermosplastic, and tempered glass which is extremely strong and effectively bullet proof for the most part against a majority of small arms in the assault rifle and lower range (7.62 Nato and Below). More than one or two shots to the rough same location will usually penetrate that location.

Internally the machine holds another set of armour, Asbestos. Using an adhesive substance powdered asbestos was mixed into effectively a paste much like concrete is. This Asbestos laden paste was poured into a cavity along each of the Joy-100's six sides, and even along the internal walls, and left to cure. The result was solid sheets of chalky asbestos inside of the machine. Asbestos, with a melting point of 2750 degrees, and its exceedingly high specific heat capacity makes it one of the most fire resistant materials to ever exist, and inexpensive to boot. Even if the outer layer is breached, the second layer is virtually immune to a majority flame weaponry, shrugging off napalm, white phosphorous, flame throwers, small lasers.

The third interior layer is built out of 10mm Durasteel armour plates, internally these are both bolted to the internal structure, and floating in a gel layer that, in the event of breakage, keeps plates from becoming entirely useless. Overall this layer is heavily resistant against assault rifle and lower weapons (<=7.62) but focused fire will break though chinks in the armour through repeated strikes. The most heavily armoured locations exist internally in two places. The bottom Plate below the battery, and the one above it are 25mm plates, designed to withstand explosions from below such as anti-personnel mines and a majority of small arms fire short of high powered rifles and larger armour penetrating rounds. A similar set of plates covers the droid brain that runs the machine, positioned far behind the dispensary and above the battery.

Other than that, the machine can easily be disabled as its wheels, though small, are relatively fragile, along with the weapons it has at its disposal. However, it's true toughness doesn't come from simple armour, but rather open space. The machine having mostly an empty cavity in the centre is effective at drawing fire. If one were to only fire center of body shots at the machine, nothing short of a high explosive weapon could kill it. Effectively it could have the entire top three quarters of the machine chopped off through machinegun fire and still be operational, though a majority of secondary equipment and some sensors would be disconnected at that point. Unless someone is able to specifically aim for its critical components, or disable it, it will be moving.

Description: The JOY-100 Public Presence Observer, initially suggested as a joke between a pair of engineers, plenty of alcohol, and a bet to see how ridiculous a machine they could come up with. However, what the Joy-100 is 'not' is a homicidal battle droid fashioned to look like a Vending Machine so that the Stienghast can spy on both its own citizens and those Abroad. It is quite clearly a normal vending droid that has developed some odd tendencies. That is all.

On a functional Level the JOY-100 spends most of its time selling things to passers by, chocolate bars, soda cans, and bags of chips. It watches though, listening in to conversations as people pass by, taking information off of credit chits as they are swiped, salami slicing small fractions of extra bits off. Scanning faces, Eyes, looking for anything that might match something be it a bounty, a famous person, or even someone of possible importance to the Steinghast cause. It reads the eyes of those who look at its delicious options and collected the thumb prints of those naive enough to press its buttons. Unless ordered to do anything drastic, that is typically the only thing it will do, watch, and occasionally defend itself.

By its appearance, It is simply a standard black vending machine and boxy in appearance. A dispensary is located near the floor on the front plate, a coin return slot not too far too the right of it. Dead centre is a huge Polycarbonate, thermoplastic, and tempered glass pane that allows one to see inside at the items they crave. Off to the right side of that is a selection system complete with credit chit scanner and coin receptacle. Internally it is loaded with a huge number of items, ranging from chocolate bars, gummies with Amelleous' face on them, and drinks. Depending on the setup, alternative items may be served such as weapons, ammunition, and even explosive devices. This largely depends on where it's being run and the needs of those it will serve.

Internally it has an array of communications equipment, radio antennae, interceptors, all things the better to listen to you with. On the sensory front is has a number of microphones and photoreceptor, even some designed to deal in IR radiation for use in the dark where it otherwise may not be able to see. For weaponry it is packing few things, the convient ability to tip over, an internally mounted railgun to fire coins at high velocity, and a 65mm Air cannon sitting behind the dispensary in order to fire appropriately sized objects at high velocity, grenades, explosives, cans of soda, and other devices should they be of proper width to fill its gun.

Further it has only a few critical components stored within it, a lithium Sulfate Battery mounted atop the floorplate to power the device, approximately as wide and deep as the machine itself is, and a 20cm by 20cm metal case which contains the machines droid brain, allowing it to operate and take orders, both of its superiors and the famished. As Strange as it may appear, the JOY-100 is a surprisingly effective spying device.

 
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Nor'baal

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I'm Autarch Amelleous, and I approve this message.
 

Clayton

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Vending Machine: "SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY DETECTED. NO PATRON SELECTS HEALTHY SNACK OPTION. TERMINATING TARGET."

Patron: "Wait-wha OH GOD HEL *splat*

This is an awesome creation.
 

Galavant

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[video=youtube;nkgQFOOr7ug]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkgQFOOr7ug[/video]
 

Rizzo

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I was just laughing so hard. I would love nothing more than for one of my characters to have a scene where his food gets stuck.
 

Intratec

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So it's a floating, and rolling cancer (ASBESTOS) death machine that will forever taunt me with those delicious doritos inside of its casing. I'm starting to believe this thing is actually some ploy of Skynet's to destroy all humans. And I still like it.
 

Dmitri

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So it's a floating, and rolling cancer (ASBESTOS) death machine that will forever taunt me with those delicious doritos inside of its casing. I'm starting to believe this thing is actually some ploy of Skynet's to destroy all humans. And I still like it.

Everyone's liked it. No one's disliked it. Mainly because they're killed before they can begin to dislike it.
 

Vulpes

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The big question everyone is missing: Is it possible to ride into combat?
 

Dmitri

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The big question everyone is missing: Is it possible to ride into combat?

It does not need to ride into combat. It starts combat wherever it is.
 

Intratec

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Everyone's liked it. No one's disliked it. Mainly because they're killed before they can begin to dislike it.

Well. It is the personification of the War on Hunger. Hungry? Then you die. Problem solved.
 

Nor'baal

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Well. It is the personification of the War on Hunger. Hungry? Then you die. Problem solved.

Have you considered in career in Stienghast State Arm's sale branch?
 

Nor'baal

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A sense of duty and belonging to the state, combined with the knowledge that one day you will die gloriously for the furtherance of the nation?
 

Saul

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This is just so full of win.
 

Intratec

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A sense of duty and belonging to the state, combined with the knowledge that one day you will die gloriously for the furtherance of the nation?

Does that include executions of any radicals, Commissariat-style? (WH40K)
 

The Kyzer

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The Public Presence Observer:
Vending death since 1,023 ABY.

The Public Presence Observer:
Because **** You Hippies

The Public Presence Observer:
Vending Death at a mall near you!

The Public Presence Observer:
Eats your money, then eats your soul.

The Public Presence Observer:
Begun the Time of the Machines has.
 

Jiang Winters

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Now that I've finally reviewed this - and stopped laughing my ass off - I can give you an Approval.

Go have fun, try not to wreck too many faces.
 
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