Paul Zeku

Ookakiba

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Jedi.jpg

~Basic Information~

"Who am I you ask? Well, inorder to answer that question, you need to believe in what you don't understand."

NAME:

Paul Zeku

FACTION:

Jedi Order

RANK:

Padawan

SPECIES:

Human

AGE:

20

GENDER:

Male

HEIGHT:

6' 0"

WEIGHT:

145 pounds

EYES:

Brown

HAIR:

Black

SKIN:

Dark Brown

CREDITS:

1,000 Credits

FORCE SENSITIVE:

Yes​

~Attributes~


"Somebody once told me that carrying one lightsaber means you're nothing without it. That's why I carry two."

STRENGTH:

His strength can be considered average in comparison to other Jedi. Although, he is rarely at 100 percent strength, due to sleeping only 6 hours a night, which puts him at slight disadvantage when it comes to pure physical combat.

DEXTERITY:

His agility and reflex is considered the most proficient of his qualities for those who know his fighting style. What he lacks in strength, he makes up for in his ability to dodge, block, and perform movements with efficiency and swiftness. In combination with his lightsaber form, it makes him a tough opponent to strike.

CONSTITUTION:

Paul's health is in great shape, despite the lack of sleep. Though, he tends to be slightly more prone to sickness than others.

INTELLIGENCE:

Intelligence can be measured in different forms, though his intelligence can be found in mainly computers and construction. He is quite proficient at hacking and disabling security devices, and can program/reprogram certain droids. He is adept at building random creations and sometimes even improvising with certain materials. Although this may come as a surprise to some, Paul has a vast knowledge of Fauna on certain planets.

WISDOM:

The only sense of wisdom found in Paul, is his patience. Throughout the years he has developed a patience that has astounded even those who knew him closely. To him, patience is the key to success, whether that patience is five minutes or five weeks.

CHARISMA:

Unfortunately, he's not a charmer nor is he an inspiring speaker (so he likes to think). His calm and patient attitude leads him to be mainly a support person, cheering up those who need cheering and encouraging them to carry on.

FORCE POWERS:

(* Stars are out of five)

Telekinesis*
-Force Push: **
-Force Pull: *

SKILLS:

Although this is common for most force users, Paul is skilled at fighting with melee weapons. Taking this a step further, from years of training as a child, he as become adequate in dual-wielding weapons. His hacking skills are impressive as well as his ability to analyze puzzles. Cooking is one of Paul's natural talents.

LIGHTSABER/SWORD FORMS:

(*stars out of five)


~Persona~

"Patience, it's hard to find now-a-days, just stay calm and it'll work out."

APPEARANCE:

Paul's hair is quite plain compared to other's hairstyle. His hair is black, short, and cropped 1/12th of an inch away from the top of his head. If his hair is to ever remain uncut it turns into a short afro standing about one and a half inches away from the top of his head, though he usually cuts it before it gets near that length. His eyes are brown in color (a trait passed down from his mother) and tend to give off a calm aura to those who speak to him. Although it is not proven, it is said that his eyes change to a dark hazel color when meditates or during the night time.

Paul has a dark caramel/brown skin tone which seems to match his brown eyes and black hair quite well. His body is slender, but has an athletic build due to the constant running. His athletic build can be mostly noticeable on his upper body, hamstrings, and calves. A burn scar can be found on Paul's right shoulder, though it's hidden by his clothing. His clothing consist of the classic jedi clothing, though completely black in color.

PERSONALITY:
Friendly, optimistic, and patient are a few words to describe Paul. He has a tendency to mostly be seen with a smirk, grin, or a stoic expression on his face. Ally or foe, he always does the most he can to gain a person's trust or at least their compliance (which normally leads to him smirking or smiling quite often). To him, to understand a person, is to understand their true goals and way of thought. From time to time he will observe people, attempting to gather information on them. This has increased his patience allowing him to gain further knowledge of anything he does.

Patience and optimism has led to a tendency for him to be mostly calm in his mind, body, and soul. He attempts to ignore stress and anger, letting it out through meditation or reading, sometimes resulting to running to relax him. Due to his training, he tends to not show most of his feelings, except towards certain friends and family. Though, one can always tell his emotions through his eyes, despite how calm he is. One should note, that during battle, Paul tends to act more using logic and the force, than his emotions, or so he prefers.

Although subtle, sarcasm is common within his tone. He tends to blend it within his usual calm tone, but from time to time, these sarcastic comments are accompanied with a more emotional tone. Since education is important, he finds learning how people react to sarcasm intriguing and tends to observe their facial expression to learn more about them.

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:

Paul's strength come in many forms, though there are some that are the most noticeable. One of those being his proficiency in agility and reflexes, as well as his skill in dual-wielding. It should be noted that, despite his proficiency at dual-wield, he is still adept at fighting with a single weapon. His patience has allowed him to out-wait his opponents and sometimes wear them down, allowing him to strike. His skills with computers and construction are proficient.

As with many great strengths, comes weaknesses. The most noticeable would be his tiredness, which leads to a lack of strength, which can be detrimental when facing an opponent with a high physical power. He has a love for canine-like creatures and will not fight if it means harming these poor defenseless animals. His patience has been known to be a weakness from time to time, by him missing critical opportunities to strike while he waits for a greater opening. Although not really a major weakness, due to his height and wielding two lightsabers, he has not fully adjusted to his fighting style, causing him to stumble from time to time when performing difficult movements.​

~History~

"The past, well it's an experience that we all have to learn from, and sometimes...enjoy."

Chapter 1~The force begins

There is a place so cold inside all of us, that in the end, it takes a true man to overcome it. Maybe, that's what could be said about some of the inhabitants (as few as they are) on Hoth. Nikon Zeku and Lena Zeku left to Hoth with a few smugglers to avoid the oncoming war, from there, Lena gave birth to two children, Paul and his younger sister Kia. The first years of childhood, were like normal, running around and playing, though to the live on Hoth, was a nightmare come to life.

Nikon had died four years after Paul's birth, due to hypothermia. The -60 degree celcius weather, could no longer be ignored. Lena took Paul and his younger sister and left hoth, moving to a planet far away. Unfortunately, there ship landed in an asteroid belt and crash landed. It was unsure of how his sister and mother survived, but he was rescued by a middle-aged women, a corellian. A born fighter, and as Paul grew older, she would teach him how to fight.

At the age of eight, Paul began to learn how to fight with a sword, under his new mentor. Two years later, he took up dual-wielding after losing to his friend, who had practice with dual-wielding. So, both boys trained together, as they improved their skills. It would be soon, when his foster mother, Chleria, stated that Paul would begin his jedi training. Although Chlera had become an exile, she had managed to built herself a lightsaber, though she had lost most of her connection with the force.

So, Paul became her apprentice and began to learn the basic ways of the Jedi. Training, wasn't easy, as day by day, Paul had to solve puzzles, exercise, and thoroughly practice sword-fighting. Puzzle-solving had lead to an increase patience, as well as observing his master fight, to improve his own style. It would be around the age of 14, where he would gain his first lightsaber. His fascination with training had lead to a decline in sleep, which later on would become a problem.

Although, his master's schedule was busy, due to her becoming a smuggler, she was often away. Therefore, Paul would mostly train himself, though that wasn't enough. For the next 3 years, he would train and hone his skills, learning force push and pull through his master, though it was only enough to push a small human or bring his lightsaber to him. Unfortunately, the price of a smuggler caught up to his master, as she fell to the hands of a bounty hunter.

The door would swing open as a figure stepped through the door. The red light emerged from the metal object in the figure's hand as it streamed its way towards Paul, slamming him right in the shoulder. He fell forward, face down on his face as he cringed in pain. A silver beam shot up in the air Chleria attempted to bring down the Bounty hunter, but two sonic blast and the women was out. Paul watched as a tear streamed down his cheek while he watched his beloved master dragged away, the only thing left was her lightsaber and a burn on his right shoulder.

He would awake during the night time, silence covered the air, and the pain of being able to do nothing, stung the deepest part of his heart. He remembered his former master being dragged away and now the place was completely empty, with the exception of his master's lightsaber, a note, and his jedi robes. With a heavy sigh, he picked up his master's lightsaber and dawned his black jedi robes. The note itself, was a message as to his master's kidnapping, though there was no way he could save her at this moment.

So, he did the only thing he could do, run. He ran throughout the city to calm himself down, to avoid letting the anger control him. The meanings of a jedi were to stay calm and be one with the force, but what could he do without such advance knowledge. All he knew how, was to stay calm, be patient, and if it came down to it, fight with all he had. As he came to a stop on a corner of a street, he placed a hand on the wall, as sweat dropped at the side of his face. He spent a few days searching for his mother and sister, who after years of not knowing if they were alive, finally found them through the Corellian militia.

He spent a few weeks with them, catching up on past events, and had discovered that his mother remarried. It was a joyous occasion with lots of laughter, tears, and food. Unfortunately, as much as he wished to stay, Paul had other matters to attend to. His awakening to the force and the small jedi training he had, made him want to learn more about the ways of the force and his new lightsaber form, Soresu. So, he left his mother and sister, along with gaining some credits, departed to learn more about the force and search for his former master.

Chapter 2~Jedi and Felines

~Other Information~

"A jedi's best weapon is their lightsaber, but when that doesn't work, there's always grenades."

GEAR:

Paul carries two lightsabers, one orange, found on his left side, and the other lightsaber is silver(found on his right side). He also carries two sonic grenades, one ion grenade, and credits.

SHIP:

None.

PETS:

None.

KILLS:

None.

DUELING RING MATCHES:

None

GRAND TOURNAMENT MATCHES:

None

ROLE-PLAYS:

Current Rp:

Once more, its training time.

Completed Rps:

Amusing, you are.
 
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Ookakiba

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A little side note, but a main reason for making him without a faction is so there's a number of different paths he could join. Hence, pretty much any organization that can persuade him to join, which I thought would be interesting to see (makes for great character interaction and development). Anyways, thoughts, opinions, criticisms, cookies?
 

Dread

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If you don't want to go Light or Dark Jedi you could join my Grey Jedi Order. Pentacle Athame Order.
 

Jerek Odres

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Style: 3/10 - You attempted to make the profile template look different by adding spaces and centering. While that is fine usually, here it kind of failed. The return key is not your friend, and it shows with the spaces in between every line. Some of them double spaced, and it is frankly annoying. Also the rainbow coloring is less appealing than regular white.

Character Traits: 6/10 - While better than average, unfortunately this profile suffers from common cliches: Non-physical dump stats, unfortunate past leading to Jedi, tall character not fully matured, and lightsabers with one random item thrown in.

Profile Specifications: 4/10 - Not good with all the mistakes. You forgot to put in exactly how much he weighs, but I assume it is pounds. You also have relatively inconsistent marks; N/A or None. While not the same, they are definitely interchangeable. You also have nothing put down for some. I am also not exactly sure if you are using the star system with your force powers/lightsaber form or if you are just putting those there by mistake. If there is a star system, is it out of something? Like five or three? Your profile does have it's good points though.

Overall Profile: 4/10

Additional Comments: As a Padawan you are not technically able to utilize two styles without permission; reserved for masters. Jar'kai is part of niman making it a second style. While this may be just you using two, it can't be officially stated.

@Radzkie: The advertising in every new Force Sensitive character is getting annoying and is very repetitive.
 
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Dread

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@Radzkie: The advertising in every new Force Sensitive character is getting annoying and is very repetitive.

Lawl what? This is the first time I brought it up in a character profile. I'm not sure why you always try to jump down my throat everytime you find/make up a excuse too.

He also said:

Hence, pretty much any organization that can persuade him to join, which I thought would be interesting to see (makes for great character interaction and development). Anyways, thoughts, opinions, criticisms, cookies?

So I gave him a offer.
 

Jerek Odres

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Oh, maybe that was that other guy. Also what do you mean jump down your throat? I've barely been in the same topic and interacted with you for the past two weeks...
 

Jake

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Since Jerek completely failed to capitalize on your excellent grammar and general writing skill, I'll go ahead and tell you that the points he mentioned are not necessarily cliches and are more standard fair for someone's first character. The only really valid thing he mentioned is charisma being everybody's dump stat, and that's not going to change.

Awesome first profile, ignore Jerek for focusing on the superficial areas rather than the relevant ones that make your character enjoyable to RP with.

:D

EDIT: And Jerek, do me a favor and don't defend yourself pointlessly like you usually do. I'm not insulting you, just making sure Ookakiba knows that your shallow review isn't a reflection of what the forum considers up to par. You should never post a critique in that format again.
 

Jerek Odres

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I was just doing a review and all flaws were going to be mentioned, not just the superficial ones lol. It's an average profile. Forgive me for just stating stuff...
 

Ookakiba

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Thanks for all the reviews and comments, your thoughts are appreciated.

@Radzkie: Hmm, I'll look into it, it looks cool.

@Jerek: Honestly, I like the color scheme, though I've changed it to a bit more uniform so its much easier to read. Personally, adding color to a profile is nice, so its not a wall of white text. As for the character traits, I tend to prefer weaker physical characters and more proficient in other areas (to create a balance), since in my experience of Rping a lot of people tend to either make strong physical characters or extremely smart character. Plus, my character is still young so, there's room for change and development.

As to your comment for height, that's actually normal. 16 years of age and 6 feet, yea highly common, though I guess it's somewhat cliche, but there's a weakness due to his height. Also, he's pretty much a wanderer at the moment, how much items can he carry? o_0

@Never: Thanks for the comment on my grammar, though don't worry about Jerek, we're all entitled to our own opinions. Though as stated above, I didn't really dump anything into Charisma (I could be misunderstanding the statement), since really he's not that much of a charismatic person.

Once again, thanks for the comments/reviews/etc, look forward to more?
 

Gambler

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Pokakaa, aesthetics are the smallest fraction of the tiniest percentile of importance when it comes to character creation. When you critique a profile you look at how it is written, not how it looks or compares to your views.

By "charisma dump" they mean that you have everything else above average and then leave charisma empty to compensate as a weakness.
 

Will

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I quite like the profile, and, unlike Pookakka, I don't find the physical traits unrealistic, I was six feet one inch at sixteen.

It's very well written all in all, I'm looking forward to what picture you use for him. I look forward to seeing you in the jedi, If you choose that path.
 

Ookakiba

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I quite like the profile, and, unlike Pookakka, I don't find the physical traits unrealistic, I was six feet one inch at sixteen.

It's very well written all in all, I'm looking forward to what picture you use for him. I look forward to seeing you in the jedi, If you choose that path.

So was I, and thanks. Well, we'll see what path I choose, I'm just going to let my character decide. :CSly

Btw, your sig will, is just so epic.

Update: Made a few changed in the history so it's more of a happy ending and added his first role play XD.
 

Ookakiba

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March Updates:

3/11/11: Changed personality a bit. (yes he's growing, it makes me proud).
 
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