Vetas Malin

Force_In_Balance

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Red like Roses - Cassey Lee Williams
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NAME:Vetas Malin

Titles: "The Returned",
FACTION: Sith Empire
OCCUPATION: Sith
HOMEWORLD: UNKNOWN
FORCE-SENSITIVE: Extremely

SPECIES: Anzat

GENDER: Male
ORIENTATION: Heterosexual
AGE: 129
HEIGHT: 5'7"
WEIGHT: 165 lbs

SKIN: Pale

EYES: Dark Brown fissured red
HAIR: Brown

A cold, calculating Anzat raised on the Sith teachings with only enough memory of his pasts to fuel his hatred and nightmares, Vetas Malin has spent longer honing and perfecting his skills than many other lords of the Sith and keeps his Anzati nature a very private matter, not needing the extra attention for not being human or pure-blood. Though now, now does the new Moff of Vanqor set his sights on the stars once more and move forward with indefatigable purpose and resolve, his cunning mind, century of experience and powerful abilities ready to aid him in crush all opposition to whatever it may be he sets his sights on .


After being taken in by the Sith, his mother slaughtered during his youth and being made to think the Jedi were in fact to blame, Vetas has become a cold individual. Given his Anzat nature and the importance the Sith place on manipulation and ruler-ship of the weak, Vetas conveys a sense of calm, almost persuasive authority about himself and moves with what one could call 'mature grace'. Whereas other Sith move like flowing rivers of raw, unabated passion, Vetas is much more selective, even when it seems his own passions begin to overtake him as well.

Aside form his natural charisma, Vetas is also a very contemplative individual and much more exact than many other Sith. While there are many who throw their brute strength into every heavy-handed strike and force ability, Vetas thinks quick, efficient and dagger-point deadly. To him, the satisfaction between exerting a simple command to crush and detonate a grenade in someone's hand as they draw it is just as exhilarating as the prospect of catching it in mid-air and flinging it back would be to others, and to him, his way is much more effective. After all, as long as his opposition ends up crushed beneath booted heel then he is perfectly willing to forego the difference between raw, impressive displays and small, technical applications of the force in order to choose the more effective approach. Victory, by the smartest means, in his case.


Vetas also takes a lot of pride in his unorthodox thinking. Whether it be in the midst of combat or when maneuvering around the enemy or even allies. From his years of experience and time watching, waiting and striking when others least expect, Vetas often finds people miss rather simple solutions to things because they are not willing to think fluidly enough. They are not bending or submitting to the circumstances, but rather taking advantage of them to effectively exert their power. At least, this is how he sees it anyways.

In addition, Vetas is also very well-spoken and eloquent, and despises a great majority of the unnecessary in-fighting of his brethren. The key to that sentence however, is unnecessary in-fighting, as he is most certainly not the type to put up with disrespect, insurgency, or resistance to his whims.

(Pictured Below: Moff Malin wearing the Robes and Armor his people on Vanqor crafted)


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Shattered Reality


Red petals floated airily on the breeze calmly drifting through the bright blue sky of Vetas' home-world. A child's soft brown eyes gazed up into the peaceful rolling clouds to this planet he would only ever come to know as "home". Standing at the adolescent age of eleven did the young Anzati boy sprint through the field of his home planet, his family home always within sight no matter how far he dared to go. He could remember his mother, an Anzat woman who he obviously favored in showing the features of, working calmly from their home as he grew. Their lives simple, yet happy, and despite the implied insidious nature of their heritage his mother had always taught him restraint against feeding on someone. Little did the young boy know his mother's repentant, cautious and tranquil manner had come from her turning her back on the Sith, on the Dark Side, the moment he was born. As her eyes had fallen upon her newborn child her heart of cold, apathetic hatred had melted like glacial ice beneath the summer sun and she had left the Sith, the darkness, behind and taken up a tranquil, solitary life in order to not only try and repent for her past crimes, but to give her son a chance at a more normal existence.

Growing up into adolescence Vetas' strength in the force became readily apparent to his mother, even while still of the age as to be considered a child by human standards. Fearing for her son's enslavement by the Sith should they come seeking her out, she quickly decided that the best way to avoid this was to train him just enough to learn to hide his abilities and fend for himself should he ever need to. With most of her own knowledge being of the Dark Side, it was incredibly difficult for her to train him without the use of negative emotions. Anger, rage, without these familiar conduits of power the training was slow, but also fruitful thanks to her son's prodigious strength in the force. In a year's time, young Vetas had learned enough to be considered an equal to a Padawan or Acolyte. It was also at this time, that this peaceful reality of his shattered into a million pieces, and scattered to the wind, like the petals of the roses that surrounded their home. After all, none leave the Sith without consequences.

Fire, fire was brought to that beautiful world in the form of merciless bombing runs. The Sith had tracked his mother down, and now sought recompense for their betrayal. Vetas had no way of knowing who these people were, no inkling as to what was truly going on. His memory of that day remains blurred, distorted almost to the point of it being beyond recognition. However he does remember the anger, the seething, boiling anger as a lone Sith warrior slew his mother before his own cowering, hiding eyes. A deep, cold hatred gripped him then and due not only to the element of surprise, but the warrior in question being significantly exhausted, did Vetas grip the man by the throat through the Force and with a sickening crack and twist of his neck at an impossible angle, end his life.

The Sith who found him, in lieu of slaying a child who had seemingly killed one of their warriors, took him to become a Sith Acolyte. They took him to Korriban, and with tears still burning his eyes, did he forever say goodbye to that burning world of roses and sky. Being as trained as he was, Vetas found it incredibly easy to slaughter the untrained slaves and other 'acolytes' they all but fed to his burgeoning wrath. His sense of self and restraint going cold and numb as the young boy became apathetic to the galaxy, viewing it all with a detached apathy. Over time however, the ideals of the then Sith brotherhood and the more refined, calculating nature he is now known for began to ingrain themselves into him as he approached adulthood. Decades of training, honing his skills and study of dark secrets and techniques come to full fruition as he finally set foot out into the wider galaxy.




Skills, Equipment and Abilities

Skills

Vetas is a Masterful practitioner of NIman and Jar-Kai dual-blade combat and often keeps his second lightsaber in reserve to call forth whenever he wishes to use it. Often only doing so when an opponent pushes him especially hard or to further press an advantage he has already gained on his adversaries. In addition to this, since his seclusion on Vanqor Vetas has further personalized his style of combat, weaving in key aspects of other lightsaber forms into his wider Niman base. Crafting a style virtually all his own in it's adaptability. A special note can be made, however, of his knowledge of Makashi. Due to it's rising prevalence among both orders as the war intensifies, Vetas has made it a point to study the dueling form's ins and outs meticulously.



Equipment
  • Medium MK 5 Inquisition Combat Armor
  • Two dual-phase red lightsabers
  • One short-blade red lightsaber
  • Sith-Encrypted Comlink

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Abilities

Vetas is skilled in many Dark Side techniques of varying different stripes, from draining the life force of his enemies to unleash powerful screams of raw force energy. He has become a masterful practitioner of a few key areas worthy of note however. His most recently mastered areas of study are telepathy; backed by his Anzati heritage and their natural inclination for such attacks, Vetas found perfecting his telepathic skills in his five years on Vanqor to be easier than most other abilities he has learned; and Force Sight. The ability to perceive objects distinctly and clearly through the Force. Vetas is also a prodigiously gifted telekinetic, and can use this skill in a huge variety of ways, from increasing his speed and agility to lifting massive objects and groups of individual smaller objects. Finally, Vetas' most powerful and attuned areas of study are by far his trials in Sith Sorcery and his energy manipulation. With Sith Sorcery he is capable of calling upon the Dark Side for a litany of unnatural and spectacular uses, whether they are more focused on the battlefield or even Sith Alchemy. Relatively recently, Vetas has improved his ability to call upon Sith lightning to such a degree that it now takes on a red coloration when called upon, in addition to this, Vetas has honed his skill to the point he can call upon a Force Storm.




Template made by MARF.
 
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Force_In_Balance

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Updated! Edited in a comprehensive explanation of the character's (As of now) general fighting style and approach to combat. As well as giving an actual armor reference and other small tweaks such as making him post-pubescent for an Anzati and adjusting his backstory accordingly.

Any and all feedback is appreciated guys! ^^
 

Dark child

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Oooooo I love it.

Interested in doing a PvP sometime?
 

Force_In_Balance

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Finally finished! With my pending return to the glorious Sith Empire I have a re-worked Vetas' CS to account for the time-skip, as well as tweaked his backstory to something much more fitting for his theme song in a way so that it doesn't clash with how he already acts. Special thanks to the lovely night-owl @Marf for the wonderfully designed template used in this endeavor! I look forward to role-playing here again very soon.
 

Logan

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Hello there @Force_In_Balance,

It's been brought to my attention that there might be some.. inconsistencies in what this profile contains, and what is realistically acceptable for a character to know/do. The first thing that jumps to my eye is the fact that he hasn't mastered one, not two, but five lightsasber forms? While realistically this holds no bearing on the character's ability to fight in a pvp scenario, I think that's a little excessive and that you need to dial it back. Regardless of his age this character is still only a B-tier sith in terms of rank. He would probably have only mastered one form and have intimate knowledge of a second, with relative working knowledge of the rest.

Something else that is a straight no-no is having cortosis weaved into your breast plate. The site rules state you can only have minor pieces of armor laced with cortosis or phrik, such as arm guards/gauntlets or a gorget. You'll for sure need to remedy that.

His force skills also seem more more akin to a Dark Lord or Emperor than to a sith Marauder. "Force Destruction" for instance is an insane legends power that was only practiced by some of the most prolific sith in the entire galaxy -- seems a little over the top for this character here. I'd also caution you to remember that despite what a character can do in a PvE setting (calling force storms without getting exhausted, for example) you most assuredly will not be able to do such things against another player. Something to keep in mind.
 

Force_In_Balance

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Hello there @Force_In_Balance,

It's been brought to my attention that there might be some.. inconsistencies in what this profile contains, and what is realistically acceptable for a character to know/do. The first thing that jumps to my eye is the fact that he hasn't mastered one, not two, but five lightsasber forms? While realistically this holds no bearing on the character's ability to fight in a pvp scenario, I think that's a little excessive and that you need to dial it back. Regardless of his age this character is still only a B-tier sith in terms of rank. He would probably have only mastered one form and have intimate knowledge of a second, with relative working knowledge of the rest.

Something else that is a straight no-no is having cortosis weaved into your breast plate. The site rules state you can only have minor pieces of armor laced with cortosis or phrik, such as arm guards/gauntlets or a gorget. You'll for sure need to remedy that.

His force skills also seem more more akin to a Dark Lord or Emperor than to a sith Marauder. "Force Destruction" for instance is an insane legends power that was only practiced by some of the most prolific sith in the entire galaxy -- seems a little over the top for this character here. I'd also caution you to remember that despite what a character can do in a PvE setting (calling force storms without getting exhausted, for example) you most assuredly will not be able to do such things against another player. Something to keep in mind.

Hey there Relent! Good to hear from you. So then, let me get the easiest part of this out of the way and say that the armor part of your message I wholly misinterpreted when reading over the rules for it, and thought the rules just stated one PIECE of armor could be resistant. Apologies, that will be changed post haste.

Now, onto the lightsaber forms. Realistically, you're right, it does not actually affect his abilities to fight lightsaber V lightsaber because the variable of combat is on the role-player and not the character knowledge detailed. I would however point out a mistake I made, which will be rectified, as well as a misunderstanding on your part. While it's a matter of debate whether Jar-Kai and Niman (as one is a sub-sect of the other) could be considered two completely separate fighting styles, I'm more inclined to think they're two takes on the same style, ala Djem-So and Shien. As for the others, and the mistake on my part, was the inclusion of the word 'Mastery' when describing the other styles and for that I apologize. I was merely denoting an advancement in his respective skill towards becoming a Master of those styles. (AKA his mastery of them) but as the word seem problematic I can rewrite the descriptions of them. This is of course, ignoring the fact that Niman holds forms and strikes from styles I - VI within it and would likely make learning them a bit easier due to familiarity.

Now, onto the biggest issue I have with what you posted, which I believe hints at something against site rules. Which is along the lines of Power=Rank and if I recall was an issue in older timelines due to some 'fights' degrading into 'I outrank you and are thus more powerful' arguments. With respect to where you mention him being a B-tier (implying the ranks are a tier-ing system and thus a judge of how much power your character is ALLOWED to have) Sith AND how his power seem more appropriate for someone of higher rank. Suggesting that, once again, power only equals rank. Which, unless I am incredibly mistaken, is not the case of how the site runs on judging character abilities and is thus not a 'straight no-no'. IF that has changed, I will change him, but I don't think it has.

(Also as a note: I was under the distinct impression from how they were written up, that being a Marauder just meant you were up for PvP whereas a Sorceror favored PvE more. NOT that it was some limiting RPG-like class as you seem to suggest)

Moving on to the specific example cited: Force Destruction and the criteria for what I have been using for gauging his advancement over the half-a-decade skip in time.; what is feasible by what has been established in role-play. So to start off, just to get Force Destruction 'out of the way' let's look at it subjectively as to whether or not he could actually learn it. Given that the character was not only not addressed during my initial posting of him but also accepted into the Sith when you ran it and he was noted as being highly skilled in both energy manipulation and TK (Which are the two more prevalent aspects used when using Force Destruction)... well... yeah it's incredibly feasible. But okay let's move on to the research and resources necessary. Well, it's rather obvious he spent decades on Korriban, learning and practicing and this part of his story is approved, and then on top of that he is a Moff with a planet's worth of resources (relatively) at his disposal for rituals, research, training, etc. Looking at all this together... along with the time-span we are given for the skip, it doesn't seem unlikely he could learn it. This is, of course, ever keeping in mind that an ability like this could only be used with Mod permission. I'm completely aware of that.

All-in-All, his Force powers are not only plausible but justifiable and in the case of the wording you have an issue with for his lightsaber skills when not considering the Rank=Power argument (unless that is how things are done now) then to put it more plainly. He is great at Niman and Jar-Kai and good-enough at Soresu, Djem-So and Makashi to weave them into his style reliably. Which is the whole point of Niman, it's fluidity and adaptability. I'll correct the breast-plate part later on tonight, and clean up the wording of his light-saber forms as I am just detailing my thought process here. As can be seen in my only PvP thread up to this point, I don't play himas an OP character, or even attempt to. I whole-heartedly acknowledge the strengths of my adversaries, and just sought to make him adaptable.

But for now, I am off.
Cheers!

Force_In_Balance
 

Logan

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Hey there Relent! Good to hear from you. So then, let me get the easiest part of this out of the way and say that the armor part of your message I wholly misinterpreted when reading over the rules for it, and thought the rules just stated one PIECE of armor could be resistant. Apologies, that will be changed post haste.

Okay, great. I may look at seeking for that rule to be made more clear as it has caused some confusion before, so no harm no foul there.

Now, onto the lightsaber forms. Realistically, you're right, it does not actually affect his abilities to fight lightsaber V lightsaber because the variable of combat is on the role-player and not the character knowledge detailed. I would however point out a mistake I made, which will be rectified, as well as a misunderstanding on your part. While it's a matter of debate whether Jar-Kai and Niman (as one is a sub-sect of the other) could be considered two completely separate fighting styles, I'm more inclined to think they're two takes on the same style, ala Djem-So and Shien. As for the others, and the mistake on my part, was the inclusion of the word 'Mastery' when describing the other styles and for that I apologize. I was merely denoting an advancement in his respective skill towards becoming a Master of those styles. (AKA his mastery of them) but as the word seem problematic I can rewrite the descriptions of them. This is of course, ignoring the fact that Niman holds forms and strikes from styles I - VI within it and would likely make learning them a bit easier due to familiarity.[/color]

Regardless of your personal opinion on the intricacies of the lightsaber forms and their connections to each other (I'm not saying you're wrong), you can still only have one mastered form at maximum with advanced knowledge of a second and working knowledge of the rest. Which you choose is up to you.

Now, onto the biggest issue I have with what you posted, which I believe hints at something against site rules. Which is along the lines of Power=Rank and if I recall was an issue in older timelines due to some 'fights' degrading into 'I outrank you and are thus more powerful' arguments. With respect to where you mention him being a B-tier (implying the ranks are a tier-ing system and thus a judge of how much power your character is ALLOWED to have) Sith AND how his power seem more appropriate for someone of higher rank. Suggesting that, once again, power only equals rank. Which, unless I am incredibly mistaken, is not the case of how the site runs on judging character abilities and is thus not a 'straight no-no'. IF that has changed, I will change him, but I don't think it has.

(Also as a note: I was under the distinct impression from how they were written up, that being a Marauder just meant you were up for PvP whereas a Sorceror favored PvE more. NOT that it was some limiting RPG-like class as you seem to suggest)

You're misconstruing my intentions. By labeling him as a b-tier sith (probably poor choice of words on my part), I was more implying that knowing a legends power only known by (pretty much) mary sue characters is not only (relatively) completely unrealistic, I'm also not inclined to approve the power in general at all. With our shift from legends to nucanon, we've also moved away from a lot of the nonesense of legends. Force destruction seems to fall in line with that nonsense.

Moving on to the specific example cited: Force Destruction and the criteria for what I have been using for gauging his advancement over the half-a-decade skip in time.; what is feasible by what has been established in role-play. So to start off, just to get Force Destruction 'out of the way' let's look at it subjectively as to whether or not he could actually learn it. Given that the character was not only not addressed during my initial posting of him but also accepted into the Sith when you ran it and he was noted as being highly skilled in both energy manipulation and TK (Which are the two more prevalent aspects used when using Force Destruction)... well... yeah it's incredibly feasible. But okay let's move on to the research and resources necessary. Well, it's rather obvious he spent decades on Korriban, learning and practicing and this part of his story is approved, and then on top of that he is a Moff with a planet's worth of resources (relatively) at his disposal for rituals, research, training, etc. Looking at all this together... along with the time-span we are given for the skip, it doesn't seem unlikely he could learn it. This is, of course, ever keeping in mind that an ability like this could only be used with Mod permission. I'm completely aware of that.

All-in-All, his Force powers are not only plausible but justifiable and in the case of the wording you have an issue with for his lightsaber skills when not considering the Rank=Power argument (unless that is how things are done now) then to put it more plainly. He is great at Niman and Jar-Kai and good-enough at Soresu, Djem-So and Makashi to weave them into his style reliably. Which is the whole point of Niman, it's fluidity and adaptability. I'll correct the breast-plate part later on tonight, and clean up the wording of his light-saber forms as I am just detailing my thought process here. As can be seen in my only PvP thread up to this point, I don't play himas an OP character, or even attempt to. I whole-heartedly acknowledge the strengths of my adversaries, and just sought to make him adaptable.

But for now, I am off.
Cheers!

Force_In_Balance

Regardless of whether or not you acknowledge the strength of your opponents is moot. What matters is what's contained inside the profile. With the way its presented, your character comes across as completely over powered relative to his actual investment into the faction as well as most of his "training" occurring during a timeskip which required no effort in RP on your part. It doesn't sit well with me at all, to be honest. And whether or not this character was approved previously is of no matter also. Any character can be re-critiqued at any time and be requested to make changes. Having abilities that can only be used with "mod permission" I also find quite odd for a regular run of the mill sith.

My advice would be to dial back his abilities until you hit a milestone where such abilities would be realistic and feasible, such as darth.
 

Malon

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So, as Sith FL and a Content Admin, I have to echo Logan's concerns with this character.

Since @Relent has covered the majority of my concerns, I will address the two major things that jump out at me as being in need of fixing:
  1. The lightsaber forms need to be toned down. Mastering five forms of lightsaber combat is virtually unheard of in Star Wars. Mastering certain aspects of each is one thing, but mastering them in their totality is something that would take far too long. If you're going to have him be a master of one style or another, you need to pick one—maybe a second he can be an "expert" or "adept" at, with only the fundamentals in the others, but that's it.
  2. Force powers need to be nerfed. Miraluka have a very special connection to the Force Sight ability and telepathic training, no matter how intensive, would not give a Marauder-class Sith similar skills. Furthermore, Force Destruction is no longer a nuCanon power. I would recommend reading this guide to help you develop your character's Force abilities.
Regardless of approval status, I'm going to ask you to heed the rest of Relent's suggestions as he makes some very astute observations that need addressing in your profile. As always, if you have any further questions, you can PM myself, Relent, or both of us and we can get this issue worked out, but it does need to be worked out.
 
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