"Yes Sir", "No Ma'am"

[TweedPawn]

So, I was sitting in a bar the other day and I managed to strike up a conversation with the locals in downtown. I learned about where there were art clubs, places to go eat, drag show and I got to get a peek into the lives of the area I had just moved into.

Well, I am from the south and I instinctively say "sir" and "ma'am" without too much of a thought. I've been teased about it a few times, but it was always in a good-natured jest. I usually just joke right on back and keep on truckin'.

However, at this bar someone told me the rudest thing that I've heard about my habit since I moved up to Pennsylvania.

"The south needs to evolve like the rest of us and stop using words designed to reinforce slavehood."

My mouth dropped and I was honestly shocked that 1.) using sir and ma'am would be seen as "primitive" and 2.) that it had anything to reinforcing hierarchy in this day and age when most southern folk will call the guy who bags groceries "sir". After giving the gentleman a piece of my mind, I informed him that he probably never thought it was rude to say "please" and "thank you", yet those words had also been used in the past as part of a class system.

So, how do you feel about saying "sir" and "ma'am"? Does it come naturally to you was drinking water? Or is there something about it that seems vile to you?

 

[Cassanova]

I use those terms when I have no idea of a person's rank, title, or name. Police officers, are a perfect example. Outside of that, I don't use them often... then again - here in australia 'mate' is a solid substitute for almost anything.

 

[Matt]

I say sir and Madam nearly everyday with my work but I'd never say it to someone out of work.

 

[Shiuzu]

Sir and ma'am is a thing a lot of us do in Eastern Canada, the person who said this is obviously an idiot, also I'm assuming this person is white.

And with us it's pretty informal, usually along the lines of, "How's it goin today sir." Just to a friend, or something like that.

 

[MoreThanSane]

After giving the gentleman a piece of my mind, I informed him that he probably never thought it was rude to say "please" and "thank you", yet those words had also been used in the past as part of a class system.

Good for you. Those who use society's so-called "advancement" as an excuse for being rude annoy me to no end. And they're everywhere here.

 

[Kit]

Never used them, except for sir at school, where it was mandatory. I tend to be pretty informal with people, so it feels alien to use words like that. I don't see how they could be considered bad, but if someone used them to/at/on me, I would be more amused than anything else.

 

[Wing]

I call officers sir or ma'am.

 

[Johnnysaurus Rex]

I agree with your sentiment Tweed. I also throw in the occasional "miss".

 

[Kaeb]

Words change their meaning all the time, especially their connotations.

Words only have power when we give them power.

 

[Brandon Rhea]

I have no problem with "sir" or "ma'am." It's not like calling someone "boy." It's just a polite thing to do. And if someone's idea of societal advancement is to be a dick, then obviously they have no ground to comment on enlightenment.

 

[Tribunal Power]

I try not to use gender-specific terms when talking to strangers because when you're wrong, things can get ugly fast (no pun intended). /:

Being polite comes naturally to me though and it's a must in my profession. An appropriate response to the man that said that to you would have been "you, sir, are a dumbass." That's still pretty polite, right?

 

[Padmé]

Completely second Tweedy, MoreThanS, and Johnny. I grew up in the south as well....
Besides, my mother would be livid if she catches me doing otherwise.

courtesy is one thing that I know for certain will never be obsolete.

 

[MoreThanSane]

An appropriate response to the man that said that to you would have been "you, sir, are a dumbass." That's still pretty polite, right?

I prefer something slightly more eloquent. Enough so that the person's laughably simple mind is still tumbling about desperately in its attempt to work out your meaning for minutes after you leave. Occasionally--if you haven't anywhere to be--it's fun to stick around and time them.

 

[Lavi]

That Pennsylvannian is a douchebag. There's nothing wrong with using "sir" or "ma'am" at all.

 

[Solaris]

So, how do you feel about saying "sir" and "ma'am"? Does it come naturally to you was drinking water? Or is there something about it that seems vile to you?

I did it long before I enlisted (and I'm a damn Yankee, too! Ha!), and now I have to struggle to not call civilians I don't know very well 'sir' or 'ma'am'. Typical exchange goes something like this:
"-, sir."
"I'm not a 'sir'."
"Sorry, sir. Dammit. Sorry."

There are words for the type of character you encountered. They're not nice words.

 

[BLADE]

Colorado's a Western state, through and through. Half of our transplants are from California or Hawaii. Lots of 'dudes' and shakas. A few howdys mixed in.

It's awesome.

 

[Brandon Rhea]

That Pennsylvannian is a douchebag. There's nothing wrong with using "sir" or "ma'am" at all.

You know you've done something wrong when Lavi calls you a douchebag.

 

[Black Noise]

I have no problem with "sir" or "ma'am." It's not like calling someone "boy." It's just a polite thing to do. And if someone's idea of societal advancement is to be a dick, then obviously they have no ground to comment on enlightenment.

Tis this.

I will say 'sir' and 'ma'am' to anyone 4-5+ years older than me(that has never been in or is not in military service) or is in any position of rank above me at work.

Also, Tweed, good going on the piece of mind!

EDIT: in addition, strangers of any age near or older than me I refer to as 'sir' and 'ma'am.' As tweed said, it's flowing water. To not say it and to hear other people say 'what' to strangers, bosses, parents, ect. Is quite disrespectful to me.

 

[Skyway]

pff, you all east coasters...JK somewhat.

I have never use sir nor ma'am in the right nice term. Only time I think I use them is if it there name. I see no point to it. Just use their name, but what if i dont know it then ask for it. I will use last names with Mr or Miss when they are older then me "sometimes". There is some polite I will use like pls and thx but depends I may mumbler them or give a nod. I am also not fan of hand shakes, I will if I most but bowing or nodding is better.

 

[jpchewy01]

Colorado's a Western state, through and through. Half of our transplants are from California or Hawaii. Lots of 'dudes' and shakas. A few howdys mixed in.

It's awesome.

I'll admit that 'dude' is a term used QUITE often in California.