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I posted an awesome return post (as I was formerly known by the name Livgardist here, and bwcause I can't remember my password and the password reminder currently won't work for me, probably because of Gmail, I registerred a new account) in the Personal Notifications forum. Alas, I then read...

...there was a royal guardsman. His name was Loxley (Not really) but he went by the name of Livgardist. Trouble seemed to follow in his wake (or perhaps he followed trouble in its wake. Hmmm...) and busy was his life, for he had recently abandoned his post as a royal guardsman to cross the Great...