A Little Bit of Sunshine (Aiden Lightell)

[Green Ranger]

Aiden picked up the towel, then suddenly doubled over as he heaved up the contents of his stomach, a deep crimson laced through the bile. It took him a few moments to recover from the episode, and he winced as pain throbbed through his temples. He looked at his master.

'You think I like doing that?' he said angrily, coughing into the towel again before continuing. 'You think if I had control over it, I'd still be doing it?! It kriffing hurts!'

He paused for a moment in thought, and a sudden realization seemed to come across his face. 'But...maybe...I think I sort of understand, at least a little. I suppose I suffer because the Force is such a crutch to me...even when I don't want it to be. I mean...it really hurts when I do that, and then I get disciplined for doing something wrong, even when I don't have any control over it. I suffer because of the Force, because of how I use it...? And everyone has their own reasons why they suffer, and it's different from one person to another, but everyone suffers in some way. For me, I suppose it's just a lot more obvious than most...'

He hoped he was right. If he failed another lesson, then the backlash from his powers would be the least of his worries...

 

[Ols]

"I don't think you like doing it. I think you know no other way of surviving. If you don't force yourself to stop (no pun intended) then you'll end up being weak. You won't be able to survive at all. You do have control over it. You just don't want to think you do. Perhaps the power you could have scares you. Perhaps you feel you'll lose yourself by embracing it. Maybe you just don't have the confidence to use it. But that is why you must be in control. The more it acts for you, the less you there is to be acted for."

He paused a second to allow his words to sink in. Then, he added, "You are getting the hang of the suffering idea. For now this is your suffering. And once you overcome this hurdle, you'll be suffering something else. Such is the way of the mortal's life. You'll learn to live with your suffering faster than you can learn to live with the force acting like this."

"If you really feel like you cannot control the power you feel, think about the next line of the code. You cannot hope to truly know the force. The Grandmaster of the Jedi doesn't. The Bogan doesn't. I don't. Knowledge is not your goal. But what you can't be doing is listening to your instincts. The force lends advice, so subtley. And even though you should proceed with caution, you should learn to rely on your instincts. You'll find the force much easier to keep in check; much easier to control when you really understand that second line of the code."

 

[Green Ranger]

Aiden nodded silently, looking up at his master attentively and nodding every now or then in thought. He seemed to be taking the advice given seriously enough, though he had nothing to say to add or question his master's words...frankly he was somewhat disappointed in himself that he had nothing to say, but sometimes just listening was the wiser course of action.

 

[Ols]

((For the ease of the training, let's assume that Banik's visit occurred somewhere between bits of the discussion so far))

Nescius continued, almost encouraged by his apprentice's silent assent, "While we're thinking about control, we'll take a short digression from the code and talk about Tahn. You killed him pretty much in cold blood. In your position, I'd probably have done the same. He was a fool and a waste of the title "crusader". If you hadn't killed him he would be cannon fodder when the Bogan made his next play," he paused a second, "But do not underestimate the value and roles of the apparently weak and unimportant. You are truly strong, like a few in this temple. But that does not always mean killing the weak is good for you. A lion, the king of the jungle, does not simply squash insects and kill small animals because it can. It hunts the powerful buffalo, and the leaping gazelles."

"You can kill pathetic excuses for personage such as Tahn, but they also have their uses. Cannon fodder is necessary to win a war, just as the generals who author their slaughter. Everything has it's place, and while I'm not telling you to encourage weakness (in fact, quite the opposite: abhor it) do remember that killing for killing's sake often has the unfortunate result of coming around to bite you back. Lethal diseases are carried by the smallest of mosquitos."

 

[Green Ranger]

Aiden smiled at the memory of killing Tahn. He supposed in other parts of the galaxy someone his age would have secodn thoughts about murder...but it seemed pretty normal to him. A side-effect of his particular upbringing, he supposed. Tahn had proven himself disposable, and so Aiden had disposed of him. He found it curious, however...there was something about the Bogan that had seemed odd in that occasion...but he disregarded the questions. Most likely he was just being paranoid.

'So...you mean it's like Dejarik, right? No pawns, no victory?' he said somewhat innocently, looking up at his mentor expectedly, hoping desperately he'd said something right for a change.

 

[Ols]

"Very much so, Aiden," Nescius replied with a smile, "pawns are essential to win the game, whether you use them to distract, to weaken, to simply facilitate your own opportunities or even just to test your enemy's capabilities," he paused. He was tempted to share with Aiden his own insights as to where he felt, perhaps, the Bogan had made a misjudgement, but it was not for him to foster such thoughts in his apprentice. Not yet anyway. He continued, "if you had not killed Tahn, I am sure the universe would have righted the wrong that was his life. Even so, be wary in future, as I have said, killing for killing's sake serves no purpose, and is more detrimental to your cause than anything else. If you're going to take life, make sure you have reason to do so."

 

[Green Ranger]

'So...the others, the Acolytes I mean...they've got it wrong? Senseless slaughter achieves nothing. They always talk about murder and how evil they are and being darkness incarnate. Sir, why are there so many idiots in our ranks these days?'

Aiden blinked innocently at Nescius. Coming from anyone else, one would presume that Aiden was being arrogant...but with him, it was just an innocent observation derived from a simple observation. The boy's mind was so simplistic at times...but he was hardly dull-minded. It was his perspective on everything that was so unsettling.

 

[Ols]

Nescius smiled genuinely and a small laugh escaped his lips, "There are so many idiots in our ranks because most people are idiots. Unfortunately, only so many people are force sensitive, and only so many of those are available for recruitment. The Bogan doesn't pick and choose between those with advanced cognitive function, and yes men," he paused, "The Bogan's purpose is to wipe out the Jedi. Once he's done that, he'll aim to cause chaos throughout the galaxy. He has no plan for expansion, for conquering, for enslaving, for investing. There's no future with him. Slaughtering morons are ideal for a group unconcerned with the outcome of their success. But that doesn't mean we all have to be bland yes men."

 

[Green Ranger]

'Hm. I guess it also gives me a few pawns right at home, too,' Aiden said thoughtfully. He burst into a grin at the thought.

'So what am I learning next, sir? I mean, not that I don't mind talking lessons through and all...but I'd rather be doing something. Plus wearing nothing but a towel in front of an older man is a bit wierd, you know.'

 

[Ols]

"Point taken, go dry off, get dressed, get something to eat and come to my training chamber when your done. Don't take too long," Nescius had seemingly softened towards the boy. But he was not teaching him anything right now. Intensity was good, but he had only recently slain a Knight. The boy could do with an hour or two without having lessons thrown at him.

 

[Green Ranger]

Aiden seemed to suddenly start fidgeting a little, a frown crossing his features as he shivered in the cold. He said nothing, walking off quietly. It was almost as if he had been scolded, and the sudden change of demeanor was somewhat startling. Still, most of the other acolytes of the Bogan were a lot stranger, so it was hardly noteworthy.

Not ten minutes had passed, however, before Aiden found himself inside Nescius' private training chamber. Shunning all comforts save his clothing, and without any real idea of what else to do, he had wandered into the chamber, towel around his shoulders, his hair still damp from his venture into the well. He shivered slightly - it was colder in here than most of the other rooms. His teeth chattering, he suppressed an eager smile.

 

[Ols]

Nescius strode forwards from the shadows. He had not changed. In fact, he had barely moved in the time his apprentice had left the room and returned. He looked at the boy, standing and shivering in the dark. In one of his hands, Nescius held a simple metal cylinder, similar to the one that hung on his own belt. He tossed the hilt in his hand to Aiden.

"Given you were walking around with one of these clipped to your belt, I'm assuming you've got an idea of how to swing one of these without chopping your own ears off," he said, taking his own lightsaber hilt from his belt and holding it in his right hand, "so we're going to play a game. Force me to switch my lightsaber on. And stay in control, above all else."