Ask Aftermath

[Ronan Carduel]

Ronan stared down at Hailee. They stood far from the fight and he could feel her own conflict mixing with his. There was a moment where he was silent, and did not say anything. How long had it been? Days had turned into weeks that had turned into months. Before her, he had felt empty. After her, he had felt empty. Now...

Ronan blinked and seemed to be able to speak again. "I don't know," he replied softly. He wanted to be selfish but he could tell part of her wanted to go back and help the Jedi. But then he had ran away with her, and it had been obvious they had history, so it was likely she would have to go in hiding also.

Ronan fell silent once more. Her green eyes held pain and it wasn't just external. He pulled away his gaze and stared at a spot over her shoulder. He couldn't look at her. It hurt too much.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

She was already injured, but this didn't make it any better. The external pain was now mixed with the internal. He had broken her heart, he had betrayed her more than once and on various levels and yet he had just proven that their story was not over yet. When she had first seen him today, she had been convinced to end it once and for all, but she felt completely different now and it was more than painful.

All the conflicts were eating her up from the inside while her body felt like it wouldn't last any longer. Her knees felt weak, the muscles were trembling in shock and she hadn't processed that he had just tried to kill a fellow champion to save her. She opened her mouth but closed it soon after, having this awkward, unexplainably terrible silence spread between them. She shook her head slightly, facing the ground to her feet for a second, trying to collect her thoughts. And then came the realization. They had not only betrayed wach other but also their factions. Not just because they had decided to spare each other's lives, but also because they had just escaped the battle to save one another. Swallowing hard, she finally forced herself to say what needed to be said. "We have to leave this place". This verdict was final. They both knew it. They had to flee. She looked up again, searching for his eyes, even though it was almost impossible to do so. He still avoided eye contact, but she was hoping it would change. She was also hoping that he would understand that they had no other choice.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

Ronan blinked again and managed to nod. They definitely had to leave. He looked towards his ship. He was once more glad that the heater module was fixed, but inexplicably disappointed. He unwittingly pressed an arm against his wound from one side of his torso to the other. The adrenaline was beginning to wear off, and replaced by pain.

He knew they would have to talk but he wasn't looking forward to it. They were likely to fight again. They always seemed teetering on the edge- one second enveloped in each other and the next ready to kill the other.

He headed toward his ship, slower than he would have liked, considering he had used the Force a lot and was injured.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

She was slightly disappointed that she was apparently the brave one right now. He didn't even manage to look at her while she was desperately waiting for him to turn around. But at least he nodded and so she started to move. She was slightly limping, clenching her teeth while walking. She would heal herself. Maybe not just herself. She hadn't decided that yet. It was so ironic that they were both suffering front the pain they had caused each other, physically and mentally both. And yet she was walking towards his ship, boarding it even. One part of her was screaming loudly, trying to resist the urge to follow him, but in the end she succumbed to it.

She was exhausted, not only physically but also mentally. She felt unbelievably drained from the battle and questioning her behavior right now. Her heart followed him inside while her head was running amok. Inside, she immediately placed herself into the co-pilot's seat while all the memories came back at once. What the hell was she doing here? What were they doing here? The silence was depressing, but she wasn't even sure whether talking would be the right thing to do...


@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

Ronan sat down in the pilot's seat, not saying a word when Hailee sat down next to him in the co-pilot's seat. Getting off the planet would be tricky, considering New Alderaan was an open warzone. He let his presence in the Force spread in his ship, covering up Hailee's connection to the light side. Hopefully his Imperial ship and the dark side would be enough to get them past Imperial blockades. They only had to worry about the Jedi now. They would likely fire on his ship as he tried to leave.

He turned to Hailee, speaking finally. "Fly the ship while I man the cannons," he said, not leaving any room for argument. He figured he would be the best one to shoot back at the Jedi considering Hailee was supposed to be on their side.

As soon as they exited the atmosphere, they were immersed in the battle. Immediately they were fired upon, and Ronan wasted no time firing back. His face screwed up in concentration as he shot down a couple small Jedi fighter ships. He hoped they would be in hyperspace soon; he had enough fuel for one jump. He knew Hailee wouldn't want to see some of the fighter ships go down, even if the ones he shot down were manned by droids.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

She stared through the viewport, eyeing the blockade in awe. How could she leave the planet behind? Well, actually she had landed there because of an impulsive, stupid idea. It wasnt planned through at all and now she was hardly able to fight anymore, so maybe retreating was the most intelligent move. But leaving in his ship, probably wasnt.

When he ordered her to fly his ship, it took her a few moments to break out of her paralyzation. He was already on the run and so she couldn't argue at all. However, she had never flown a ship on her own and in addition to that, she wouldn't let him shoot the Jedi. She figured the latter was the bigger problem, and so she glanced over her shoulder, frowning. "If you kill someone, I'll kill us!",she hollered warningly and she was dead serious. He could try to shake them off and ot would be acceptable if he would hit a droid manned ship, but if he would start shooting at pilots she would interfere. There had been enough bloodshed today. Neither of them would add more to it.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

And just like that, they were fighting again. "I'm not going to kill anyone, it's just droids," he hissed through his teeth. "Do you plan on getting us out here any time soon?" he didn't look at her, just kept firing. Despite giving her a snarky reply, he did feel with the Force to make sure there was no one living in any of the ships he shot down.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

She concentrated as hard as she could, trying to remember what she had learned from co-piloting. His response made her roll her eyes immediately. "What do you think I'm doing?", she hissed loudly. Wasn't it obvious that she was trying to maneuver them out of this warzone. The pain was constantly distracting her but in the end it seemed like they have made it for now. For a moment, they had passed the blockage unnoticed and it seemed like they were all clear to jump to hyperspace soon. She dreaded this moment, as this would mean that they would have to talk, but they had to escape. And better soon.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

Ronan grit his teeth but didn't say anything more. When they had left the majority of the battle behind them, he reached across Hailee and flipped the switch for hyperspace. His heart rate finally slowed down. He fell back in his seat again and released a breath. He remembered another scenario like this one where they had had to work together to stay alive. This time, there was much less happiness afterwards.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

When he reached over her, she held her breath, since this sudden closeness was too much too handle right now. She was kind of relieved that they made their jump to hyperspace bit at the same time they were leaving behind New Alderaan and it was probably lost. She was aware of that and it made her swallow hard.

However she leaned back a little, finally letting out a breath. Slowly and maybe still a little reluctantly she turned her head back in his direction. What was next. Where were they even going. She wawas searching for eye contact, wanting to finally confront her emotions. Better sooner than later. Yet she was still speechless like never before. This was just like last time when they had been on his ship on his way to Moraband. She was hoping that he would do the first step and say something but she was afraid of what would come. The tension between them was immense and time felt frozen.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

Ronan turned to Hailee and his eyes found hers. There was a moment of silence and something that might've been guilt filled his stomach. He opened his mouth as if to say sorry but he couldn't seem to get the words out. He half expected her to accuse him of everything he had done to hurt her and he almost wanted her to. Maybe it would actually sink in for once.

"Hailee," he managed to say. He was likely just speaking first, breaking the dam before a screaming match would ensue.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

When he finally reciprocated the eye contact the blood froze in her veins yet another time. She wanted to have this intense talk now. She knew that things would probably become extremely heated and all that had happened since Moraband would probably boil up again. She opened her mouth and closed it againz contemplating how to begin, but fortunately, he started by simply saying her name. Her stomach was upset and all the feelings seemed to fill her all at once. She felt guilt, maybe even shame, immense pain and yet the positive memories came also up. It was all oddly confusing, but she managed to bring her first word forward. "Ronan" she replied softly, more tenderly than she had intended while she got up. The spell was seemingly broken, the silence destroyed. Was this yet another mistake she was about to commit?

@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

When Hailee said his name he was sorely tempted to pull her into his arms. His hand did jerk out towards her but he stopped, figuring she probably did not like him very much right now. He hadn't exactly been thoughtful and caring. He retracted his arm, albeit slowly. "I'm sorry," he managed to say. The words seemed to lift a massive weight off his chest.

The way she was looking at him only made him want to hold her more but he had learned, perhaps the hard way, that he did not deserve her. At all. He may be stronger in the Force, but she was a much better person than he would ever be.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

His reaction did clearly not go unnoticed and she had to admit that maybe closing the distance between them would help for the moment. Her heart was still pounding and she felt so desperate while the tension was still high between them. She wondered whether they would start to argue now, but he did something she had never expected. He apologized to her and even if it were just two words, there was such a gravity inside them. She knew he was sorry for a thousand things, but they didn't have to discuss this no. She could not only see but feel his pain and it made her extremely sad. So sad that she couldn't resist this sudden urge to close the distance between them. Despite the pain and the desperation she leaned forward, halfway sliding carefully into his lap while shshe placed her lips on his. She had to. It felt like she had to do it right now, trying to push the broken pieces inside her back together. Immediately, a familiar, pleasant warmth spread through her body while she tried to shut her thoughts off. This was not the time to contemplate bad life choices...she didn't even know what was good or bad at all.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

Ronan expected a million different things from Hailee but what happened was not it. She leaned forward, sitting in his lap and kissing him. He practically melted against her. He fell back into the old rhythm and wrapped his arms around her back, deepening the kiss. After a moment Ronan pulled away, and buried his head in Hailee's shoulder. Even after only a few seconds, he was breathing hard and his heart was racing. How did she do this to him? One look, one touch, one word, and he was broken and she was the glue holding him together. He tilted his head a little and pressed his mouth to the side of her neck, breathing her in. She smelled like sweat and blood and dirt but there was something under that that was familiar. He couldn't define it but he felt safer.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

It was so wrong and felt yet so right. All of her doubts and worries were forgotten in this exact moment and she couldn't even feel the pain. Her body had grown numb and she was only concentrating on this wonderful feeling that spread inside her body.

Their reunion had taken an interesting turn. This wasn't about survival or killing each other right now. They were back at where they had been before things had escalated on Moraband. This strange, unexplainable pull towards him was back and it felt great to give in. Her pieces were finally back together and while he buried his head first in her shoulder, than on the side of her neck. Her eyes were closed, her body had began to tremble a little again but tears started to run down her cheeks. Somehow it felt like this was all she had been waiting for. Nothing else but them mattered in this exact moment. There was no war, no Jedi, no Sith. Just them in the middle of a seemingly endless galaxy.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

Ronan's arms tightened around her. He didn't know whether he was holding her together if he was holding her to hold himself together. He pulled his head back slightly and then rested his forehead on hers. His right hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb right next to her nose. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't know what to say. He had piled so much into those two words, he didn't think there was anything else he could say.

In this moment... he felt different. A warmth he hadn't felt since before he was six filled him and all his muscles relaxed, and he sagged a little against Hailee. Suddenly his torso lit up with pain and he jerked back, sucking in a breath as he tentatively placed a hand on his still bleeding wound. He yanked his hand away when it stung.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

If the galaxy had been going down right next to them in this exact moment, she still wouldn't even have noticed. She was completely lost in this moment, their foreheads pressed against one another, eyes still closed and al, the pain and all the devastating memories were replaced with a warm, comfortable feeling. The moment was so intense that she winced when he pulled back, slightly startled by this sudden movement. The feeling was gone and she was left with both, his pain and her own pain once again. She had found herself back in reality and she knew that even if they had escaped the battlefield, everything was far from perfect.

She glaced at him frowning, her mimic a mixture of painful sympathy and sorrow. She had caused him this injuries and he had caused her own. Yet she still found herself reaching out to him, placing her hand just above his, closing her eyes again. She was still exhausted like crazy, but her pounding heart kept her awake enough to maintain her focus. She may have forsaken her Jedi on New Alderaan, but she wouldn't forget their Code. Forgiveness was a difficult virtue, but she was convinced that she would heal him before she would try to heal herself. She was more concerned about his injuries anyway and so shutting off her own pain wasn't even that hard, but the conflict was still raging in her head. She had not only spared if life, but she had also realized that their story wasn't over. While she had been convinced that she was over him, she now had the certainty that she had been lying to herself all along, which was an immensely painful realization. She still hadn't said another word, but she was collecting the Force to close his bleeding wound and to ease the pain. If she couldn't treat the mental troubles she had caused him, she could at least try to make up for the physical pain, even if it was still hard to grasp that she had even managed to hurt him in the first place.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

Ronan opened his eyes and watched Hailee as she healed him for the second time. He didn't know what he had done to deserve this. Most of his anger was gone now, and was replaced by self-hatred and pain that flared when they were apart. The physical pain eased greatly, and Ronan let out an unconscious sigh. He didn't have to thank Hailee for her to know he was grateful.

He couldn't think about what had happened on New Alderaan, or what he had seen on Serenno. He had a feeling she knew what he had done and this made him even more confused. How could she forgive him when he couldn't forgive himself? He wrapped his arms around her again. He was not as skilled at Force Healing as she was, but he placed a gentle hand on her exposed and bloody back, and willed it to heal. It seemed to be the source of the most physical pain for her. He thought it was ironic; they were so keen to hurt each other fifteen minutes earlier and now they were wrapped in each other, trying to mend what they broke.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

Once she was done, she let out a slight sigh. How could she do that. She was still confused, a thousands thoughts in her head that were either accusations, painful memories or hard facts. Wasn' what they were doing toxic? At least they had both behaved in the worst way possible. They had injured one another a few moments ago, both had even wanted to kill the other as quickly as possible and now they were trying to reduce the damage. The ironic thing was that he had taken her down into the darkness, at least to some extent. However, he was now the Sith that was able to channel the Light sided power of healing which was not only interesting, but also prove that her influence on him wasn't ineffective. However, this wasn't even the thing that confused her most. She was completely irritated that all the anger, all the hate, all the stupid feelings of revenge were dissolved right now.

It didn't feel like he was messing with her at all right now, but itvwas hard for her to understand why she did that or why she could even bear being near him again. It was like they had never left his ship in the first place. It rather like they had picked up where they had left right before things started to go downhill. But one hard truth still remained: They had both betrayed their factions, sacrificing all for each other and she knew that he didn't understand that either. Whatever was between them, it was seemingly stronger than everything.

Re-opening her eyes, she looked at him while grabbing him by the wirst of the arm that was at her back. "I appreciate the effort, but try to collect your strength. We don't know if we will need it again and I can fix myself later" she explained softy. His hand touching her bare skin had sent a tingly sensation through her whole body which was way to intense to handle right now. In addition to that, it was true. They were still fleeing and they should both pace themselves because of that. She could tend to the wounds step by step while it would be for the best if he would be ready to fight if necessary.

@Reylo4evr



@Reylo4evr