Alex Hope

Reven Vargas

Man or Beast?
SWRP Writer
Joined
Apr 10, 2016
Messages
240
Reaction score
25
NAME: Alex Hope
FACTION: ADI
RANK:
Squad Leader
SPECIES: Human
AGE: 21
GENDER:
Male
FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes

APPEARANCE: black hair, light brown eyes, tanned weighs 170, about 6 foot 1, and has a robotic right hand.

ATTRIBUTES: Has a good amount of strength physically and mentally. But uses his stamina in big bursts then tires and wait to get his stamina back up he used to work in a old shop fixing ships and was taught a lot by the people he knew growing up without parents. Often has a bad habit of getting in trouble. Never thinks plans through. And is often has trust issues witch hurts him a lot is emotional about it when it happens.

PERSONALITY: kind caring a real go getter loves to be active a real flirt most of the time but can be serious and mysterious in a lot of ways love to get to know people and can be really sarcastic. But never the less a true gentleman at heart will give the respect people deserve and is not one to forgive easy one of his flas is he can hold a real grudge. due to having trust issues so if some one has his trust they better keep it.

BIOGRAPHY: was born on a dessert planet long forgotten having been abomdoned Alex never stayed anywhere long until he was found by a women when he was about 6 years old and was alone she saw potential in him the energy of the force ran strong with him. So since no one cared for him she took him in she was a sith and thought she needed an apprentice so using an old sith holocron she possessed she taught him the ways of the dark side. As they stayed on a remote planet she taught him how to use his pain and anger to win no matter what and no matter what the cost. He young and reckless followed her she had giving him her old masters light saber and trained him for years until he was 19 she thought he was ready so they went to find a Jedi in the sector so he could be come a full sith but during the fight he saw what she had made him a monster. So he refused to do her bidding and turned of her and escaped from the siths grasp. Now once again he was alone being hunted by Jedi and Sith. Now the only person he has is Jack Verjeck a some one just as reckless as he is although he's a bounty hunter he's still a friend to him. Then he found his home with the ADI he now is a squad leader and love to see combat action anytime. But never refuses an offer from Jack to help with a bounty. But let's not forget he must be careful the sith search for him including his old master wanting only to use him as a weapon. As well as the Jedi who either wanted him dead for safety of others or wanted for to turn him light. Alex has seen pros and cons of both sides that's why he tries to stay out of the darks and lights quarrel with each other.

SKILLS: knows many different luanguges having to travil a lot so it came in handy and has engendering experience. force push, grip, repulse and lightning.

GEAR:wears a black coat with a small computer on his arm to hack and control his droid when needed and black pants has a blaster in his back pocket and dicided to Carry his light saber on his right sides for another hidden in his jacket as a back up. And has a set of kagebó tucke in his boots

Droids: has a MK3 razor light drone he calls flicker
 
Last edited:

Vronsky

SWRP Writer
Joined
Apr 8, 2016
Messages
41
Reaction score
21
So a few things!
First, I don't think it's very realistic that he knows 5 saber forms and force powers (especially force lightning) without ever having been trained by a Master. If you're set on him knowing all these powers, you could write something in to justify it. I'm just snowballing here, but, something like an exiled Jedi/Sith who taught Alex for a few years. Even so, keep in mind that' he's only 17. I've never heard of a 17 year old Force sensitive in the Legends, Canon, or the Expanded Universe that could use Force Lightning... And certainly not without being Dark Side either. So I think you ought to pull back your powers a tad and also explain how he actually learned them.

Second, there are also some holes in your bio and skills. How does he know "many different languages" when he grew up on a backwater planet as an orphan with little resources? How did he even get a lightsaber? Again, justify these things in the bio.

Third, I think you could really benefit by an overhaul of your personality and bio. You have the groundwork laid but now you have to build the detail. I can't really tell anything from the Personality section, for example. I'm not sure what "serious and mysterious" actually means. You could really flesh his personality out through a comprehensive biography. Also, your biography is one very large run-on sentence that could use some punctuation! ;) Just give a shout if you have questions or need some help!
 

Richie B.

#JaleerShutUp
SWRP Writer
Joined
Apr 19, 2015
Messages
5,208
Reaction score
1,222
@Reven Vargas hey mate might want to expand the personality and bio for your character it's really short and doesn't meet the requirements. Also being self taught means your character really doesn't know much if anything of the force maybe a bit of Telekinesis and augmentation but that's the most I would say is possible.

Also want to raise the age also just a suggestion
 

Reven Vargas

Man or Beast?
SWRP Writer
Joined
Apr 10, 2016
Messages
240
Reaction score
25
So a few things!
First, I don't think it's very realistic that he knows 5 saber forms and force powers (especially force lightning) without ever having been trained by a Master. If you're set on him knowing all these powers, you could write something in to justify it. I'm just snowballing here, but, something like an exiled Jedi/Sith who taught Alex for a few years. Even so, keep in mind that' he's only 17. I've never heard of a 17 year old Force sensitive in the Legends, Canon, or the Expanded Universe that could use Force Lightning... And certainly not without being Dark Side either. So I think you ought to pull back your powers a tad and also explain how he actually learned them.

Second, there are also some holes in your bio and skills. How does he know "many different languages" when he grew up on a backwater planet as an orphan with little resources? How did he even get a lightsaber? Again, justify these things in the bio.

Third, I think you could really benefit by an overhaul of your personality and bio. You have the groundwork laid but now you have to build the detail. I can't really tell anything from the Personality section, for example. I'm not sure what "serious and mysterious" actually means. You could really flesh his personality out through a comprehensive biography. Also, your biography is one very large run-on sentence that could use some punctuation! ;) Just give a shout if you have questions or need some help!
Yea I see your point it was just for now will make tweeks to help its a work in progress and just to justify he doesn't know 5 combats that was its called form 5 lol
 

Reven Vargas

Man or Beast?
SWRP Writer
Joined
Apr 10, 2016
Messages
240
Reaction score
25
Yea your kinda right this character needs some work tho so I'll look it over and fix what I can as soon as possible
 

Commissar Brett

Emo Stoner Piece Of Shit
SWRP Writer
Joined
Dec 28, 2013
Messages
2,415
Reaction score
212
This character looks better than before. Are you interested in an RP?
 

Commissar Brett

Emo Stoner Piece Of Shit
SWRP Writer
Joined
Dec 28, 2013
Messages
2,415
Reaction score
212
Looking to possible be part of an independent faction?
 

Commissar Brett

Emo Stoner Piece Of Shit
SWRP Writer
Joined
Dec 28, 2013
Messages
2,415
Reaction score
212
PMC that operates mostly in disaster relief and stuff. ADI is the one I'm referring too.
 

Reven Vargas

Man or Beast?
SWRP Writer
Joined
Apr 10, 2016
Messages
240
Reaction score
25
PMC that operates mostly in disaster relief and stuff. ADI is the one I'm referring too.[/QUOTE now that I think about it this could help my character a lot haven't heared of them I'll have to find them but as far as I know I'm in
 

Commissar Brett

Emo Stoner Piece Of Shit
SWRP Writer
Joined
Dec 28, 2013
Messages
2,415
Reaction score
212
Okay. The link to their write-up is in my sig, and I look forward to writing an introduction with you.
 
Top