"The 15th day, 18:30, still in orbit"
Ceris set her pen down and leaned back in her chair. She stared at the journal, it was on it's last page. "Need to grab another.." she muttered before reaching into one of her drawers and grabbing a brand new leather journal identical to the one she was just writing in; it was still wrapped in a thin plastic film. Using her nails, the Admiral made a small incision towards the top, pulled the film away, and set the fresh journal down. Taking a hold of the old one, Ceris placed it in another drawer which were filled with others just like it.
"The 15th day, 18:35, still in orbit"
Ceris skipped onto the next line and wrote:
"At 0530 I woke up. It gives me the perfect amount of time to start my days. I quickly made my way to my personal washroom; morning showers energize me, and I enjoy starting my day feeling clean and refreshed. I started off with a Manak leave oil hydrating shampoo, washing my hair out thoroughly. Then I applied this new Uneti Blossom infused conditioner. I don't wash my hair out often as it can cause an imbalance to the natural oil production of your hair. I left the conditioner in while starting on the next part of my routine: A Kajaka root body scrub to strip away the dead skin, sweat, and unnecessary oils sitting on my body. After washing my body off, I then wash out the conditioner. I love to play with my hair for a few seconds just to feel how soft it becomes. Before I finish I gently cleanse my face before stepping out of the shower and drying myself off. My skincare routine is the same as follows, I start wi-"
knock, knock, knock
Ceris set her pen back down "Come in!" One of her junior Lieutenants stepped in with a data pad in hand "I came to make a report on the Killik Investigation Ma'am." Ceris stood up from her seat and reached her hand out, the Lieutenant scurried to hand it to her. "Anything else?" Ceris said after placing the data pad down to read later. "Yes," the Lieutenant responded "I just wanna say I've looked up to you ever since I've arrived here ma'am. I'm certain you'll be next in line for Grand Admiral, and I'll continue to serve you proudly when that time comes." Ceris looked into her junior's eyes and smiled "I appreciate that. You may go now." She held the smile up until the door closed behind the Lieutenant, before plopping back down in her seat. She took a look at her journal and began to reflect on herself. "Same thing everyday." She replayed the Lieutenant's words in her head before jolting herself up straight and grabbing her pen to continue writing. Instead of continuing where she left off, Ceris skipped a line:
"Where is Ceris? Who is the person with that name? These people shake my hand, see my face, communicate with me, experience reality with me, and maybe, just maybe, they believe their life is comparable to mine. Yet I am just the abstraction. The illusion of me. The projector slide that I crafted with the thin sheet of glass, the emulsion, and the protective layer to cover it all; I place this slide in the projector which is my artistic recreation of myself projected to those around me. I cry at nothing, yet cry most of the time. Nobody would believe what an effort it is to do what little I am able, - to dress and entertain, and order things. I do it for them all. I have these obsessive desires and thoughts of wanting to control, but what is it that I want to achieve."
The writing hand stopped moving on its own. Ceris eyes stayed glued onto the notebook, waiting for her conscious to continue it's stream. The room was so silent that one could have heard a microscopic bacteria perform binary fission, however the room was loud. Large ocean waves crashed in the inner ear washing out everything. The sand rustled with movement, like a crab crawling out of its den. It grew closer yet was never near. Ceris broke her focus and looked towards her door "Hello?" The loud silence was momentarily broken, but was soon followed by the soft echo of her words. Leaning back in her chair, Ceris rubbed both of her hands in her hair and let out an exhausting sigh. "I can't keep working this hard, I should get some sleep." She got up from her seat, taking the data pad with her, and made her way to her stateroom. Upon entering she couldn't help but stare at her bed, it appeared different than usual. She shook her head "Sleep? I can't sleep." She tossed the datapad on the bed, entered her washroom, and stood in front of the mirror hanged above the sink. "Did something spill on me?" Ceris leaned in to get a better look at her own face, a small black speck rested on her cheek.. She grabbed an exfoliating cloth and ran it under some warm water and proceeded to clean her face. However the speck remained. Irritated, Ceris continued to wash her face but to no avail. She grew quite furious, and continued to wash her face aggressively. The skin on her face became scratchy and red, and then it began to scrape. "FUCK!" The Admiral shouted before punching the mirror. Ceris stared at herself through the cracked mirror. She stared into her fire filled eyes on one half of the glass, while the other half her face began to express a wicked grin. "You think you're better than me? I'm fucking perfect you bitch! True power, the divine right to rule, it's all mine! They all think I'm Ceris; they fucking worship me! I'M their Goddess!" Ceris began to breathe heavily, but the reflection continued to smile. "Are you fucking mocking me? EAT SHIT" A heavy right hook would smash into the mirror, following by a multitude of punches. The mirror was completely shattered at this point; small shards embedded into the flesh of her knuckles. Ceris fell to her knees, and quickly transitioned and pushed herself towards a corner to sit. She tucked in her knees tight to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Her eyes began to water but were hesitant to roll down her cheek. "Papa.." she whimpered "am I still your princess?"
Some portions straight up taken or paraphrased from works such as "The Yellow Wallpaper", "American Psycho", "Moby Dick" and more.