[Andara] Sanctuary of Hope

[Herrith Hendarsin]

The Sanctuary
1045 Hours, Galactic Standard
Herrith Hendarsin
THEME
@Raydo

Herrith approached the large, beautifully designed manor with a cautioned, yet eager pace. She had issues that needed solving, and they had been bothering her for quite some time. After a short while digging for places that could help her, namely within the Jedi control of things for the most part, she had found rumors of this place. The Sanctuary. The Zeltron wasn't one to visit the Core very often, but her particular situation had deemed it worthy.

Silas Rin was the owner of this establishment. An orphanage by looks, and by title, which in a sense was appropriate for her to be entering. Sort of humorous, but more depressing to be completely honest. Though, she had dug up some records of the use of the Force here. Herrith was hoping this man could help her, perhaps provide some kind of way to control what had plagued her since...well, since she had first learned of her 'sensitivity'.

The woman climbed the steps to the manor and reached out a hand to the door, knocking on it while hoping she could be loud enough for someone to hear such an impact from across a large house. Though that probably didn't matter, seeing as he likely had some kind of security measure in place.

Her hand tightened around her comlink as she stuck it into her jacket, readjusting the satchel over her shoulder while she waited for an answer.

 

[Silas Rin]

He wasn't used to seeing the kids around the new, bigger home or school they had built. For the first time in a while, Silas felt like he could breathe, like things were going in a good direction.

He had woken up earlier that morning to train and meditate. It had been a habit he had picked back up when he was training Loa but now she was away from Sanctuary more than she was around. It always hurt when kids left but it was apart of the life.

Silas walked up the path, having spent the morning teaching a gardening/agriculture class. His plain shirt and pants were dirty, sleeves rolled up casually. While the teaching staff had grown significantly over the last months, Silas enjoyed helping out here and there.

He spotted the Zeltron woman staring at the door, seemingly waiting for someone to answer it. He wiped the sweat from his forehead as he climbed the stairs behind her. "Hello there." he said warmly, giving the woman a smile as his staff clicked on the stone steps. "Can I help you with something?" he asked as he came to the top of the stairs.

 

[Herrith Hendarsin]

Well, this was off to a brilliant start already.

Herrith turned around and stepped to the side while a man with a staff climbed the stairs, greeting her and then asking if she needed anything. Oh. Oh-ho-ho, did she need something? No, of course not, why would she ever need help? It wasn't like her world was falling apart at the seams or anything, or that some Sith lot was trying to recruit her into their ranks, or...yeah, it was probably a good idea to leave that bit out. She blinked, extending a hand to shake with the man as she spoke.

"I..assume you're Silas Rin? I've come a long way to get here, uh..yes, actually, I do need help with something."

Eloquently said. Exactly the kind of talent a speechwriter is made of. Brilliant. Bloody hell, this day was off to a great start. Not like this was awkward or anything, or she was completely out of her league and environment here. The last thing you ever wanted was to knock on a door and nobody was actually there, so there was that.

Her eyes didn't betray her lack of confidence, nor did anything. No, that was saved for when she went completely insane.

 

[Silas Rin]

He took her hand and shook, continuing to smile. He listened to her as she spoke, searching for signs of what this may be about, but for now, the woman kept everything pretty bottled up. For now, he didn't pry further.

"I am and hopefully we can make a productive trip for you." he said opening the door and motioning inside. "Please, come inside." he said smiling. He would follow in behind her and close the door. He would lead them through the large sitting room at the front of the house and into a large kitchen. He turned on a sink and started to wash his hands and arms of the dirt from outside.

He dried his hands and arms with a towel before flinging it over his shoulder. "Can I get you anything, Miss...." he paused, noticing she hadn't given him a name yet.

If she asked for anything he would fetch it before sitting down at a small table in the kitchen. Soon the staff would be coming down to begin preparations for the night's meal. Feeding a hundred children every night was no small feat and look an army, but for now it was all quiet in the relatively empty house.

"Now....About that help?" he asked, prompting her to continue.

 

[Herrith Hendarsin]

Herrith stepped in slowly while Silas guided them through the massive building, finding a kitchen within the maze and washing his hands while asking for her name. She eyed the architecture, the place reminding her of her own old home back on Zeltros, before blinking and responding with a shake of her head. Ah, right. Best introduce herself so that she didn't seem weird, or at least weirder than she already was.

"Herrith. Just Herrith."

Soon enough, they were seated at a table, and she set down the satchel slowly, trying not to make too much noise. It was natural to avoid being loud when any background noise was gone, though it seemed people would begin stirring sooner or later. Rin wished to know exactly what she needed, and she took in a breath. Right...now there was where the story started and her chances of getting denied exponentially increased. She had failed to practice this bit in a mirror.

"I, uh..well, I'm Force-sensitive. I found out a few months ago...and I've got no idea how to keep myself under control. I was hoping you could provide some assistance with that...maybe."

She purposefully retained her dealings with Sith, though to be honest there was probably a particular glow about her which gave away that whatever dark forces that existed had plagued her. Oh yeah, not to mention mental instability. That was a big factor, too.

 

[Silas Rin]

Silas didn't need the Force to know she was holding something back. It would not be difficult for him to use the Force to touch her mind ad gleam more information, but he didn't believe in such intrusive tactics. She had come to him for help, and he would help her the best he could.

"Well." he said pausing a second while he gave the question some thought. "How did you keep yourself under control before you found out?" he asked as he sat back in his chair somewhat.

"You have been Sensitive to the Force from birth, discovering that doesn't change who you are as a person." he said. It was obviously more complicated than that, Silas knew but it was a decent enough place to start until he learned more.

"Why do you think you losing control now?' he finally asked before giving her a chance to respond.

 

[Herrith Hendarsin]

Heh. Keeping herself under control before this? She had no idea. Maybe she just got lucky, and managed to avoid using telekinesis for no reason, or reading someone's mind all of a sudden. That was unlikely, to little surprise. Something in her clicked once she had dealt with that Sith...something that felt different. Unlike what she was, yet so similar for some reason. It was a disturbing feeling, and as she had said many times before, the Zeltron hated being in the dark on anything. The lack of knowing what the hell was wrong with her bothered her deeply. She knew about her mental disabilities, and how crazy she was, but this was like having your eyes open for the first time. It bugged her to no end.

"I couldn't tell you. To be honest, I'm not exactly the most..stable person. Maybe something got worse in my head, and then it clicked to what I am now. It's...hard to describe."

Rin continued, explaining much of what she had heard plenty in the past once more. Don't worry, this won't change you a bit. Don't fear this newfound part of you, just embrace it. Nothing bad could ever happen from just letting go and opening yourself up to this new you. She couldn't answer why she found out only now, and how, at least not completely. Hopefully he could search her mind or something weird like that. Though Herrith didn't challenge his comments, she moved on to the second part. This is where it got interesting.

"I..uh..strangled someone trying to murder me to death without my hands, then I passed out. Does that count as losing control? I think it does, because it just..happened."

 

[Silas Rin]

He listened as she cotninued to speak, explaining to him an example of what she had experienced. He understood the feeling of losing control, it was one they had felt at times, even now.

Silas knew what it was like to have no one to turn to. After he had been exiled from the Jedi, he had been set adrift. It was nothing short of a miracle he had not fallen to the darkside, but he had pulled through.

"It is natural for the mind and body to defend one's self in times of danger." he said sighing before continuing. "Not too long ago, we were attacked by a bounty hunter and after she killed one of the staff here, I lashed out and killed her." he admitted, hoping she would take some comfort in knowing she wasn't the only one struggling with such thoughts.

He leaned forward. "You will never be perfect, but the light is always there to redeem you. It takes work and constant dedication, but the path is there for the taking." he said.

"I can help show you to calm your mind through meditation so that you can better hear the Force. It will lead you if you allow it." he said. "Would you like me to show you?" he finally asked. He didn't judge her nor would he make demands of her, telling her the right way. He would offer to show her a way if she wanted.

 

[Herrith Hendarsin]

The problem with Rin's theory on her merely defending herself was that she...wasn't. Herrith could have just pulled her blaster, or stabbed the woman, or a number of other things besides that, but she didn't. Was it because of what had been said? That, as the woman she had choked had said, 'You still think like one of them.' It had brought something out of her...hate, but worse than just a feeling. For hate was something she had experienced many times before, yet nothing like this had happened. Ever.

The thought of her feelings having a say in her actions was unsettling.
"She said something, it wasn't really out of self defense. Well, it was indirectly, because she threatened to kill me, but...I hadn't used that before in any sense."

Herrith didn't want to calm herself, though it was probably a good idea. She wasn't here to listen to the Force, or let it lead her in any sense. That went awfully well the last time she had tried it. She just wanted to make sure that it didn't burst out..and end up killing someone the same way she had done so earlier. But maybe this would help..somehow?

"Sure. Why not. Just..we'll see how this goes, I guess."

 

[Silas Rin]

He eyed her as she further explained that wasn’t out of defense but at the mere threat of harm. She then provided a rather unenthused answer to his offer. He wasn't exactly sure how she had come to find him. He was certainly more obscure than the Jedi, but perhaps that is exactly what had driven her here.

He didn't expect her to be enthusiastic but she had come to him for help. “You don't seem convinced.” He said as he leaned back in his chair. “What kind of help do you think you need them?” He asked further. He believed he could possibly help this woman but she would need to be willing to accept his help.

He didn't speak in judgment. He had used the Force to kill someone, many times, and one recently. Where there times when he could have resolved a situation differently? Almost certainly. “There is no magic pill or switch to flip that will give you the control over yourself that you desire. It is hard and will require you to recommit yourself to the task daily. That is a choice only you can make.” He said pausing to give her a chance to speak. He consciously kept himself from falling into a lecture like he might with Loa.

 

[Herrith Hendarsin]

She sighed, leaning back slightly in the chair as Silas questioned why exactly she had held apprehension. It wasn't how convinced she was...it was just the fact that she didn't know what she was going to do. The fact that this hadn't been going so well lately had probably been bad luck. The series of events with her abilities had scared her, and she hadn't been very eager to try stuff again. Though because Silas was trained and understood how to control his abilities (more or less), maybe this could work out well.

"I...I just need to know how to keep this from coming out when I don't need it to. If this helps, then I'm all ears."

He further explained that the opposite of what she assumed about the Force was true, and she sighed in frustration. She'd completely misjudged how this whole thing worked. To hell with it, if she could make sure she didn't cause something bad to happen due to what she did, then she'd do just about anything.

"Fine. Show me."

 

[Silas Rin]

He smiled, though he was still unsure what the woman expected, there was nothing to do but begin and see where it went. He glanced at the chrono on the wall. "Well." he said standing up. "In about 15 minutes this place is going to be too loud to hear yourself even think." he finished motioning for the door.

He led the woman outside and down a path towards the forest. He then cut off the path and made his way up a hill an into the treeline. "The Force has two parts. A light and a Dark. Now, I'll spare you further from a religious sounding lecture, but its a point we have to acknowledge before moving forward." he continued as they made their way further into the forest before coming to a small stream.

"You access those sides differently, and they carry with them different goals. This.." he said point to the stream "This the Light Side of the Force...or least is for this analogy," he continued before point to a small offshoot of the stream where water was running rapidly through it as it was channeled. "and this is the Dark Side." he said

"The Dark Side is the chaos in all things. It can't be controlled, but that is the only way to harness its power. So you." he said waving a hand as dirt shifted and damned up the small stream. "We trap it, seeking to control it and wrestle to our own will." he watched as it appeared contained for a moment, but eventually the water began to eat at the dirt wall, poking holes through before breaking through and washing the dirt away. "and It may work for a time, but in the end, it will consume you."

"That is the power you harnessed, the feeling of losing control is only a taste of what lies down that path." he said scratching at his beard. "I can't teach you how to harness that power becuase its impossible, though many try."

"Does that make any sense?"

Spoiler: OOC Note

Sorry this took so long. I was a little unsure of what direction you wanted for this thread. If this is what you had in mind, let me know and we can pivot somehow

 

[Herrith Hendarsin]

Herrith found this new path of showing rather than telling rather inspiring.

She hardly thought as she stood up, following Rin through the very beautiful estate that this place was, before stopping at a stream that he continued his speech at. Somehow, with the ability to see what was going on rather than just hear words, it made this easier to process. The surrounding environment allowed her to focus, separate herself from the chaos of modern living and other distractions with her thoughts. Seeing the dirt stop the stream as it rerouted and then spilled over caused a connection to be made to her own mind. It was a lot like how she was. Blocking off certain channels for a while, till the dams burst and she turned into an insane emotional wreck. More and more each time.

One part of the Force was impossible to keep control of. That was something that she was scared to approach. She already couldn't control her impulses. What about a month, or year down the road if she kept tapping into that part of her? How easy would it become to slip and end up hurting someone that she didn't need to? Killing a friend, perhaps? The Zeltron looked up, nodding as Silas asked her how well she understood this.

"I..it makes much more sense now. As much as I've been told to use that part..I won't be able to control myself down the road. It'll...bad things will happen."

That was about as much as she could say for herself and for the Force user.

"So where do I start?"

 

[Silas Rin]

She seemed to understand, but also seemed to grasp with the daunting task that lay before her. It was not an easy life to have the power to destroy at your fingertips and deny that urge. Silas deeply understood this and sympathized with the woman.

“Now.” He said. “We start with your boots.” He said chuckling as he leaned over and pulled his own boots off and began to roll his pant legs up this his knees. He had spent the better part of the last decade teaching young children, and he had always found the more hands on it was, the better. Maybe that didn't work with adults, but Silas figured it better than some lecture.

He waded out into the creek until he was about knee deep in water. He motioned for her to follow. The creek moved quickly, but not quick enough to make it difficult to stand. “This is like the Light Side of the Force. It is always there, flowing through all things. It's balance and through it we can find balance in ourselves.”

“That is where meditation comes in. It's clearing out all of the things that drag us down until we are left with nothing but this.” He said moving his hands around.

“So. Lets try. It might be hard at first, but it's worth it.” He said sitting down directly in the water to continue with his analogy. She could chose to follow suit, or there where rocks she could sit on.

“It's more subtle than this.” He said gesturing to flowing water around him “but this is essentially what Meditating is, submerging yourself in the Force.”

Once she had settled he spoke again, voice quiet just over the water. “Close your eyes and slowly empty your mind. Try and feel the energy flowing through. It will be quiet but its there.”

 

[Herrith Hendarsin]

Herrith scoffed in slight disbelief as Silas proceeded to remove his boots and enter the stream, intending for her to do the same. She unlaced the strings and slipped out of the knee high boots, taking off the rest of the garments on her feet and ankles as she hesitated for a second. She contemplated taking off her jacket or not, and then decided to just pull it off and set it down next to her boots as she entered the stream. The jumpsuit she wore wasn't really something she worried about getting wet; it was breathable and dried quickly, plus it was either wearing that or taking off the clothes that kept her decency, which wasn't something she wanted to do in front of a stranger. The Zeltron followed into the water, which was cold but not uncomfortably so, then listened as he explained his next piece. By now, her brands were very clearly visible, which was only an afterthought at this point.

Rin submerged himself even more in the stream, and she followed suit, resisting the chills that came with the movement as she sat down. He explained that meditating would be difficult. She'd heard it before from her other acquaintaince, and only done this once. Her breathing slowed as she shut her eyes, letting the sound of the stream fill her mind. The feeling came back again, the one she had experienced in her apartment only a few months ago.

She could see again. Her tone was flatter and more gentle than it was before.
"I'm there. What now?"