- Joined
- Jul 23, 2012
- Messages
- 957
- Reaction score
- 348
Hello!
Word of Warning before you continue: There's a lot of real-life issues bleeding into this post, and it isn't even the tip of the iceberg that's eventually going to kill me. I've left a lot out if only so people don't judge me too harshly, and I'm really just looking for advice on how to better deal with it.
Okay, so...
I know I've been sporadic in my attendance over the years here, with hardly a handful of actual RP posts to my name (except with my former Imperial Guard-turned Stormtrooper, she was fun!) but my life has been slowly spiraling down the drain. My father died, I've gotten sicker and sicker over the years, my mother is probably on the edge herself, my family broke up and no one talks to anyone else anymore. I can't land a job. I can't seem to grapple with the government even with a lawyer (in the US so that's probably not a surprise) and I'm slowly running out of options.
I've been seeing a wellness counselor for a little over a year, and I'm still in a queue to get an actual therapist (none of which have bothered to call me), but I'm starting to lose hope. Has anyone else been in this same place? What can I do besides distract myself? I've talked to counselors, I've got two wellness coaches, and I'm about to see a therapist but I've felt nothing but utter hopelessness lately. There's a voice, an actual voice (my own), that's begun popping up, telling me how worthless and pathetic I am. How I've made so many mistakes there's simply no way to turn back and asking me to kill myself to end it.
How do you deal with this?
Word of Warning before you continue: There's a lot of real-life issues bleeding into this post, and it isn't even the tip of the iceberg that's eventually going to kill me. I've left a lot out if only so people don't judge me too harshly, and I'm really just looking for advice on how to better deal with it.
Okay, so...
I know I've been sporadic in my attendance over the years here, with hardly a handful of actual RP posts to my name (except with my former Imperial Guard-turned Stormtrooper, she was fun!) but my life has been slowly spiraling down the drain. My father died, I've gotten sicker and sicker over the years, my mother is probably on the edge herself, my family broke up and no one talks to anyone else anymore. I can't land a job. I can't seem to grapple with the government even with a lawyer (in the US so that's probably not a surprise) and I'm slowly running out of options.
I've been seeing a wellness counselor for a little over a year, and I'm still in a queue to get an actual therapist (none of which have bothered to call me), but I'm starting to lose hope. Has anyone else been in this same place? What can I do besides distract myself? I've talked to counselors, I've got two wellness coaches, and I'm about to see a therapist but I've felt nothing but utter hopelessness lately. There's a voice, an actual voice (my own), that's begun popping up, telling me how worthless and pathetic I am. How I've made so many mistakes there's simply no way to turn back and asking me to kill myself to end it.
How do you deal with this?