Ask Bitter Coffee

[Crix Aran]

He messaged her but he wasn’t sure if she would actually decide to come.

It wasn’t some cryptic message sent via encrypted channels – it had been an invitation to coffee back outside the front of the University of Corellia. He knew exactly who she was now and it… it left too many questions. It left too much open and he needed to know what was inside before he came to a final decision.

Sitting with his back to the corner of the coffee shop, he had ordered a coffee and it was currently going cold in front of him as he waited to see if she would speak to him, if she would actually engage with him now that her secret was out. He needed to know just how far those same secrets went, if only for his own peace of mind.

It felt like she had driven a wedge into his mind.

He needed to get this out of the way, he needed to get an answer one way or the other before he could bring himself to continue. To grow he needed to be able to get past this and right now? Right now it was impossible for him to get past it. He needed to know it was possible for him to get past it all.

He sipped the coffee and immediately wanted to be sick – the taste of coffee didn’t agree with him anymore.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

She was stunned when she received the message, she didn't expect him to ever reach out to her now that the Grandmaster was sabotaging her name and work. She no doubt expected for him to have many questions, trying to find some closure to the betrayal he had felt. In some ways she always knew they would come to this point but she felt she would deal with it when it did happen, just she deep down never thought she would need to get to this point. Even if she did entertain and tell him her intentions, it didn't necessarily mean he would accept it.

There was something about that she found deeply satisfying in the shadows of her soul.

Tia saw him stiffly sitting at the coffee shop they frequent together on many occasions. She grasped her own cup of caf and waited to catch the eye of the Zabraki Jedi. When he would see her, the redhaired woman gave a gently tilt of her head, gesturing for him to follow her into the larger courtyard. If he wanted any sort of answer, he would chose to follow, if not, it would be his peril to decide what to do with what he had.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Ah.

Kark she was actually here.

Swallowing thickly, Crix nodded once to her directed head-tilt and left his cold coffee where he had set it down when he arrived. He didn't buy a new one on his way out either, he just got up and walked. Was it dumb to follow the directions of someone like her? Someone who had worn the literal mask of the enemy for however many years?

Yes but he wasn't going to get any answers playing it safe.

Letting out a slow breath in the form of a sigh, Crix threw on his old leather jacket and put his both his hands in his pockets - resting his left hand on the hilt of his shoto-saber stashed away within it. He didn't know if he was going to need it but he was ready to protect himself should this be a trap.

He... probably wasn't going to just start attacking her in public - she'd done a decent enough job of casting doubt on her literally being captured as The Eternal for half of the Galaxy's news outlets after all.

"So... what do I call you?" he asked her as he stepped outside, staring at her, "Or were you telling me the truth about that?"

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

He chose to follow, putting on his jacket, but leaving his caf behind. She kept her pace steady, letting him catch up as she took a sip from her cup. She could feel the uneasiness that bled through his questions as he had inquired her real name and what was fiction in her stories. Her blue gaze met his, the friendliness and excitement gone from his, there was an ambition, or determination to find an answer that would satisfy his own discomfort.

Tiamat shrugged, "What do you want to call me?" she asked, "I'm sure there are many names you want to call me." she explained, uncertain herself if it really mattered at this point. "The Jedi probably told you several others you should call me. But I will leave it as your choice, Crix." she took another sip of her caf, slowly walking along the edge of sidewalk toward the courtyard.

"I'm surprised you reached out. I knew one day we wouldn't be able to enjoy these coffee dates any longer."

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

What did he want to call her?

That was the question she voiced but it wasn't the question she was asking - not really. She was asking if he wanted to think of her one way or the other, if he had already made up his mind about her. Had he? It was a fair question but one that, frustratingly enough, he didn't have any real answer for. He sighed a little bit and resisted the urge to run a hand over his horns.

"Lyra. Anat Asteria." he listed before eyeing her with more weight behind his gaze, "Eternal."

He couldn't disguise it from her, not when he was being so truthful with himself and his feelings currently. There was hatred in his voice when he said the last name, the title that had come to define so many of his nightmares over the last several years. Still, he took another breath and reigned it in, brought it back under control even if that control was still shaken internally. Hells, at this point he'd welcome someone else trying to rattle him - it would give him something to rally against.

Instead of forcing himself to look inwards.

"I need to know something." he admitted quietly, "They said you might lie to me but... I don't think you'd be able to lie to me. Not about this."

He swallowed thickly.

"The Eternal tortured my mother."

It hung in the air as a statement of fact made heavy by the sheer weight of the implications that rode along with it. Crix remained silent for six beats of his own hearts before he could contain it no longer.

"Was it you?"

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

He spoke several names she was familiar with, the first of course, her birth name; one that she had forgone years earlier for her true name under the Sith. He knew her as Anat, her professional name, and then of course the Eternal, to which she had to hold back a smirk, thinking it sounded ridiculous to how he pronounced it. Like he was trying to exorcise it from her if he would say just right. She took a drink from her caf, seemingly unbothered to the Knight and his knowledge; the woman glanced at him before turning her attention back to the hurried students on campus.

He certainly didn’t sound like the guy she had been talking with all these years, even then when she knew he was Jedi, there was not a veil that separated him from herself. She could feel the distance he was trying to create; the end to a relationship regardless of where it had went, it would never be what either of them wanted.

Crix continued, speaking how the Eternal tortured his Mom, Duh…, did he not know she was in the Sith. If she wanted to get technical, she could have corrected him, given they were not the real Eternal, and by all the Corellian gods, did the old spirits rant on about that. Then on top of it, the holonet made sure everyone knew his sob story. Her thoughts drifted back to present when he then asked the next question: if she did it.

Did it matter anymore?

The woman drained the last of her caf and stood up, walking the couple steps to dispose of the cup. “Does it matter if it were me or not?” She asked him sternly, turning to face him, “You know your answer, I don’t need to justify who I am because of your doubts.”

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Did it matter?

In the grand scheme of things? Absolutely not. In the large scale picture that both of their Orders liked to think in, it didn't matter a single bit. It wouldn't matter if she was the one who had tortured his mother or not even on a smaller scale because he was a Jedi and she was a Sith - they were going to be drawn into conflict with each other because of what they were, who they were.

So did it matter?

Part of him wanted to scream and rave that of course it mattered because of what it meant to him. The difference that it would have made was to him and, potentially, him alone though so he could see why it wouldn't make a difference to her. Letting out a slow breath, he shook his head.

"Maybe not." he admitted, "But it means something to me. You know me well enough, Anat. Jedi aren't saints and I'm far from the ideal."

She knew him and he didn't really know her it seemed but he pushed that aside for now - he likely had seen more of her true self even in her disguise.

"If it doesn't matter to you, just tell me. Is the person who tortured my mother dead... or do I need to do that myself?"

A firmer line of questioning, a harder set to his expression and a tensing of his muscles. The hate that he felt towards that person burned inside his hearts and he left it there, contained, as he waited to see if she would answer... or if he was going to need to find out for himself another way.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

It didn't matter, it did matter, it didn't...

If Tiamat was honest with herself, a younger self would have thrown a punch for irritating her with his indecisiveness. She was silent for a moment, taking in his firm questioning and maybe a tad more curious as to his intentions.

"Its not my place to give you that answer." she told him, knowing that could irate the Jedi given his fixation on an answer. What was he expecting from her? She could care very little about his mother and why was he so obsessed this? How long ago was that? His mother was alive after all? "Are you...looking for revenge, Jedi Crix?" she questioned, a smirk appearing as she thought this was fairly humorous, "That is certainly not a tenet of your Order." Tiamat shrugged, "The Eternal seems to still have their hold on you, and your mother, a piece that will never die no matter who you decide to murder for your vengeance."

Her brow narrowed, "And when you realize that, will you drive your saber into your own heart?" she asked, watching him carefully to see what he said or did next.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Revenge was not a tenet of his Order indeed.

No word of a lie there and a sentence that he had worked through himself time and time again. He had tried to remind himself of it over and over but the words had seemed to ring hollow at the time. Hearing them from someone who had worn That Mask should have felt like a slap to the face or something rotten.

Instead it made him pause, like a sudden stop that rocked him on his heels.

"I think that maybe I am." he admitted after a moment, shoulders sagging slightly, "What kind of a Galaxy is it when it takes a Sith to tell a Jedi the path they're on has no happy ending?"

He snorted bitterly.

"No reason to deprive someone else of the pleasure." he joked back darkly at the last comment before shaking his head, "I don't know what I expected asking you these questions. Meeting you again after Yavin. But not... this. You see me standing here on a precipice and you warn me - Why?"

A ghost of a smirk and a raised eyebrow, a glimmer of his usual self, shone through.

"Think you can answer me that question straight at least, yeah?"

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

Curiously, he seemed to be taking it well, perhaps his jedi training was more effective than he believed it to be. His questioning though was annoying, he asked many things he already knew the answer, only to reveal his insecurities to the sith woman. Allowing himself to be vulnerable, for what? His Jedi ideals probably told him he could change her, so her it is okay to be like this, and lead her to a path away from the Sith; an ideal that Tiamat never understood the effort or belief. The jedi being preachers of peace, albeit their hypocrisy, and narrow understanding of the greater galaxy.

So was it a warning? He still wanted an answer.

The silence fell between them, able to hear the conversation of passing students as she grinned, speaking when they were alone once more, "Well, honestly Crix, I'm not done with you." she stated softly, "So take a step back, maybe a few more because the finality has not yet come." the dark side hummed on the horizon, and Tiamat gave a coy smile.

"Take care of yourself Crix, I'm sure we'll cross paths soon." she said taking a step back with a small wave before heading back into the city.

@Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

The shudder that ran up his spine was... odd.

There was a sense of anticipation that ran through his whole body as he listened to her. As he absorbed what was both a threat and not a threat at the same time. Was it encouragement? It might have been actually and it was strange that he didn't particularly mind that it had come from such a strange place.

Still.

"I hope that you've turned a corner by the time we meet again, Anat." he called out to her as she stepped toward the city, "And... thanks. I needed this."

He needed the answers and the non-answers to confirm, once again, what mattered and what didn't. What this whole thing meant to him and, ultimately, how he needed to grow from it. Probably sounded corny but he was a corny kinda guy when it came to things some Jedi Masters would say with a straight face.

"Be seeing you, Red."

Crix let go of the lightsaber in his pocket and walked away - he had a journey to keep making.

/Exit Thread

@GABA