Ask Both is Good

[Talon Caillte]

Gingerly, Talon, greatest thief in the known galaxy, descended toward his mark from directly above. He was a spider and the glittering chalice below was his prey, or at least that’s what he told himself. It hadn’t been until he was perched in the ventilation shaft looking down that he’d learned he had a phobia of repelling. It'd taken him an embarrassing amount of time to gird his loins and get it done, but now that he was dangling fifteen feet off the floor… well, he was still fucking scared, for fuck sake he wasn’t even supposed to be upside down.

A line of sweat slithered down his face, gross, and beaded at the tip of his nose, still gross, as he closed in on the top of the chalice’s case. He knew the security measures in this place were out of control— Wait, had he made that up? No, that would be stupid. Why would he do that to himself? He chanced a wry chuckle, he was so silly sometimes.

His gloved fingers carefully traced the outline of the case’s lid. He felt for the nearly imperceivable— His ears twitched. His eyes shot to his left and he saw an Ugnaught security guard enter the room. Talon’s eyes were the size of blue light special plates as he froze dangling in mid air. The little guard never looked up. He just scuttled through waving his flashlight across the floor of the room as he progressed across it’s breadth.

Once the little guard that could was out of the room, Talon released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and returned to feeling for the nearly imperceivable— The wire sagged suddenly, and Talon dropped sucking in air through pursed lips in anticipation of pain. Then he realized he’d only dropped like two feet. Now however, he was holding himself up on his forearms caught in a fucked up handstand as he tried to push the rest of his body back up. At the same time his feet frantically hitched and kicked as if trying to reel himself up like a fish. It didn’t work.

There was a sharp SNAP and suddenly Talon’s body was falling, well, half of it was. He was stuck in an advanced yoga position and, buddy, he didn’t even stretch. His feet flopped over, heels kicking himself in the ass as he lost what little balance he’d had and toppled over. A strangled, “Wuehh!” came out as the entire exhibit fell with him.

An ear shattering crash broke the relative silence of the museum. Talon didn’t move. His eyes flicked up, which was actually behind him seeing as he was laying on his back now, at the nearly imperceivable locks of the transpairsteel case. As if queued by happenstance, the locks popped open and the lid fell open onto his face.

With a curse Talon jumped up from the ground clutching his face and fighting back tears. He was in the middle of a tirade, eyes shut tight, when the pure black void of his closed eyes brightened to red. He opened one eye. The Ugnaught stood there, slack jawed. Talon pursed his lips as if thinking of something to say, nothing came to him so he decided to point over the Ugnaughts shoulder and scream bloody murder.

The guard whipped around his beacon of light going with him, Talon stooped, snagged the cup, and bolted like a blaster bolt fired from an illegally modified DL-44. By the time the Ugnaught realized what was happening the only thing his flashlight could illuminate was the closing door Talon had already slipped through.

A few hours later…

Talon sat on the hood of his newest stolen ride. This one was a convertible, an M-68, if he wasn’t mistaken, but he probably was the only thing he knew about cars was how to make them go when he wasn’t supposed to. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants as he saw a vehicle approach. He kept his shitty blaster tucked into the back of his pants. He considered moving it to the front, recognized the possibility of shooting his dick off and thought better of adjusting the gun. Besides, what did he have to be on edge for? He’d actually accomplished the mission this time.

Now, all he had to do was pass the cup off, catch his credits, and get the hell out of here, before the local authorities caught up to him. Just another day’s work for the Galaxy’s most notorious thief.

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Vossari Khaldun]

Vossari had watched from the shadows at each stage of the thief's trial. He posed as a well-to-do art investor, hungry and corrupt enough to do anything for a chalice. Whatever doubts Talon might have had about Vossari, Vossari backed them up with credits. As he lurked through the museum, Vossari, cloaked in shadow, watched. As he set off the alarm, Vossari, incredulously, watched from the distance. As he ran his little feet as fast as he could to his stolen car, Vossari followed. Eventually, he pulled his own vehicle, a bright, yellow speeder bike, and descended from it. His Suit of Sorcery was fully equipped, Acridia sitting on his ear beneath while his lightsaber hung beneath his robe.

Beneath his helm, a smile flickered as he gestured towards the 'galaxy's greatest thief.' "Good shit, man. Outrunning that Ugnaught? I thought for sure he would ice you." Vossari held a briefcase in his hand, ostensibly full of the credits promised for this mission.

"You're perfect. But, I want you for something a little bigger than this chalice." Vossari withdrew a datapad to illustrate what he meant. "The Trident of Wrea. A symbol of authority for the Wrean people. It has long since been looted by pirates, kept in the personal museum of a Faleen drug lord." The implication was obvious - Vossari wanted to pinch it.

"Whaddaya say, buddy? Up for another run?"

@Zay

 

[Talon Caillte]

Talon watched as the cutest little speeder bike dropped from the sky, it reminded him of a bumble bee as the bright yellow of the bike mixed with the rider’s dark outfit. As they landed, he slid off the hood of his speeder. A self satisfied little smirk tugged at his lip as his eyes spotted the briefcase. Sure he could have gone the secure route, by setting up a dummy account to receive his payments, but what could he say… he was just old fashioned that way. Talon took the case as the contact mentioned the Ugnaught.

“Heh, nah, must be at least this tall–” Talon placed his hand at knee height, “To Ice me.” By the gods he was smooth. Velvet might as well be sandpaper when I’m around, he thought.

The Sephi’s eyebrows knit together as the helmeted figure spoke, they kept putting weird inflections on certain words like they weren’t really saying what they meant, which left Talon confused. They barely knew each other. Why was this connection speaking in code, had he missed something, were they being watched, had the Ugnaught come back for it’s revenge?He couldn't help it, Talon made a quick look over his shoulder, little bastards could be anywhere and he’d be damned if he was gonna get jumped by another gang of Ugnaughts.

Not again. Not ever.

Then the contact offered him another job and he wished he’d been paying attention rather than worrying about tiny pig-nosed assassins.

“Huh? Oh, another gig, yeah sure–” he pulled out his phone, “Uh, totally unrelated, but how do you spell rayens?” Then as if remembering he should ask more questions he said, “Same style as this one? You gonna hit me with the coordinates and set up drop off? Oh, and Faleen tend to have guards, rates gonna go up if I’m facing gards big enough to ice me, rate goes up again if said Faleen is a member of Black Sun, vengeful creepers them.”

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Vossari Khaldun]

"WREANS. W-R-E-A-N-S." Vossari harrumphed. They weren't that obscure, were they? "Yeah, uh, payment. Sure. You can have more. Whatever." They were obviously both bullshitting about this job, but it seemed simple enough. Vossari loved a man that didn't ask too many questions and just kinda went along with whatever schemes he had.

"Transport, though, is gonna be the difficult one. I feel like this is an infiltration job, ya know?" Falleen tended to be severe, serious, analytical, types right? Having a whole Black Suns cadre poised against them sounded seriously unfunny, so Voss hoped they could avoid that. "Which means, we gotta get a crew together." Voss knew just where to go.

Hours later and they'd be on a shuttle bound towards a space station on the outer rim, one of the many hubs of gangsters, pirates, and bandits that roamed across the asteroids. Vossari cracked his neck into place as they stepped off into the dusty saloon of a faraway world. Inside, a smattering of burly nikto, dextrous rodians, and a variety of other near-humans and aliens drank their sorrows away as holo-vid girls danced on projectors in front of them.

A perfect hive of scum and villainy to help them with their quest. "Alright, bud. We're building the crew. Meeting here with two pirates. Well, they don't know we're meeting, yet." He didn't directly point at them, but craned his helmet towards his left, where two green-scaled Barabel sat, arguing. "Think of it like a sales pitch!"

They didn't seem like the chatting type, and it wasn't clear if their four armed bodyguards would let anyone within speaking distance.

@Zay

 

[Talon Caillte]

As his contact spelled the word, Talon scoffed, “Whoa, I was way off!”

The information that spilled across his screen was delightfully vague… he could work with that. It was only when his client mentioned needing a crew, Talon got nervous. If they needed a crew but were trying to sneak in… well, more wasn’t always merrier. He was about to remind the masked individual that they were, in fact, in the presence of the greatest thief to ever live, but they were already walking away and chasing after them while making said proclamation wasn’t the vibe he was trying to give off.

Talon didn’t miss the blasé response to his compensation for this Infiltration. He filed that reaction away in the back of his mind. He played the fool, but that didn’t make him one. So, he decided to keep a mental tab on each upcharge he could find along the way. Now, if he could just justify a “Crew” surcharge that wouldn’t get him killed he’d be in business…

All and all the information, or lack thereof, was starting to add up in a way that raised more than a few red flags. So, as they bobbed along though space on the only transport that would make the run to the outer rim, Talon continued doing the research he needed to be ready at a moment’s notice and honestly, it was going terribly. He was able to find the usual crap on the Wrean’s, societal norms, yada yada, but nothing about the main cities, exports, current leader, nothing. It was super weird. The only thing he could confirm, without a doubt, was that the planet was covered by water… and that complicated a LOT.

Talon added his amphibian upcharge to his client’s running tab as they approached the saloon. His client popped his neck and it made the sephi wince, “Gross,” he muttered as the other being gave him the rundown. Talon nodded, then his eyes slipped to the pirates in question and he nearly shit himself.

Barabel? The knock off Trandoshan? What the fuck?

Talon added a Barabel upcharge, but decided to call it miscellaneous. Just by the looks of them, he could tell they were as apt to bite their heads off as they were to join their cause. Oh well, if he were going to be the best, he’d need to look death right in it’s hideous face and laugh, so with the steel back in his bones Talon stepped toward the pirates and was met by the bulging muscled chest of a four armed alien who’s expression was hard as durasteel.

“Where you think, you’re going?” asked the bodyguard, over his massive shoulder Talon could see the beady eyes of the Barabel tighten.

“I was thinking of going over there,” Talon said, pointing. The guards attention would be on Talon, if his client had been paying attention, now would be their opportunity to—

The guard’s attention snapped up tracking something behind Talon, so, the sephi aired out his corellian con-man and went to work. Suddenly, he lurched forward, his lanky arms wrapping up the guard as if for support, while he wailed, “My Balls… Oh God, my balls!”

That’d buy his contact the time they needed, he was sure of it. That or it would fuck everything up, he gave it a solid 50/50.

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Vossari Khaldun]

Emboldened by Talon's distraction, Vossari slipped forward towards the Barabel brothers. Vossari wrapped his hands around the barabel and whispered. He promised untold riches, fame, spice, strippers - all the things an up-and-coming pirate would want in the galaxy. All he asked was help in this one heist. And, he had enough peggats to make a down payment.

In a matter of minutes this new gang was off - Vossari bought them all tickets on the space bus to ride towards the planet of Falleen. Vossari put on an audiobook and fell asleep, only waking up when they were on the surface of the massive planet. They were, notably, one of the few non-Falleen on the planet. Vossari looked like an untrustworthy POS, and the rest of the crew looked slimy in their own ways. Infiltration would be difficult, but possible.

Vossari picked a seedy bar in the metropolis to strategize at, grabbing a corner booth with nuts as he smoked a cigarra. "Alright, boys, what's the move?" The barabel brothers hissed as one spoke over the other.

"Smash and grab. SMASH AND GRAB!" A simple enough plan for a barabel hopped up on spice, but would it really be effective enough to do?

"Honestly, I want to know what our master burglar thinks about the escapade." All eyes turned to Talon.

@Zay

 

[Talon Caillte]

Talon’s eyes were the size of saucers as he stared out the window of the space bus. Over his shoulder the wildest party he’d ever been a part of was happening. Sexy twi’lek strippers, literal mounds of spice, and enough alcohol to sedate a rancor, it was like a scene ripped right out of a Taren Tino film. He was ignored the entire time, which wasn’t surprising. If anything he would have been very concerned had any attention floated his way given the revelry that abounded. So he watched the mottled blues of hyperspace roll by.

Finally, the ship dropped out of hyperspace and the planet of Falleen came into view. Talon’s smile soured like he’d just smelled a fart. He wasn’t really sure what he’d been expecting from a planet that was home to a bunch of creepy vibe pseudo lizard beings, but it wasn’t the drab scene before him. He sat back in his seat and sulked, he couldn’t be sure, but from the looks of the planet alone he knew it was going to stink.

The sour scowl on Talon’s face would be enough to know the planet did in fact stink, granted it probably wasn’t from the planet itself, bit cities just had a way of smelling like piss. Might have been something he could ignore had he not grown up in the sewers of Corellia. Thankfully they slipped into a seedy dive and the overt smell of piss was replaced by an amalgamation of stale alcohol, ciggara smoke, and if he wasn’t mistaken, a subtle hint of overwhelming depression.

Outside of their merry band, the other denizens of the bar looked like shit. It was clear the spot was garnered toward the working… uh, reptile? The Barbel bros were still in party mode. When their client asked about a plan they enthusiastically chanted their brilliant idea of, “SMASH and GRAB.”

Talon didn’t think he was making a face, but he was and it was a lot like the one he’d made when he’d seen this floating stink ball of a planet. So when the boss asked him what he thought he couldn’t stop his eyebrow from arching in surprise.

“Not what they said,” he blurted. The barbel nearest him let out a growl while the other looked like their mother had just been insulted. “Well, not all of us,” he said, doing his best to recover as a plan came to mind. “I think those suited for it, those groomed for it, those that excel at it,” Talon was up now, draping his arms over the knobby shoulders of the brothers like an old friend, “Deserve the honor of the frontal assault.”

There was a throaty chuckle from both Lizards, and Talon decided to take that as a good thing, “So, I propose we split into two parties, The Vanguard, which would rush the objective with furious courage and be comprised of the most fearsome pirates I’ve ever laid eyes on, and the rear guard, which would hide in the shadows and act as back up for the mighty vanguard.”

Talon stood from his conspiratory huddle and finished with, “But that’s just right off the top of my head, I’m sure something like—”

“[limegreen]VANGUARD–VANGUARD–VANGUARD![/color]” chanted the brothers.

Talon looked to the masked figure, “No time like the present, no?”

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Vossari Khaldun]

Vossari pulled off his helmet, letting his long braids tumble out as he banged on the table to the tune of the brothers' chanting. Talon was quick and perceptive enough to help secure these pirates in the first place - and now, he was perfectly manipulating them into place. It was a good move to hire him. Soon, the trident would be his. Talon had earned this bit of trust.

He smiled at Talon as his eyes went around the table. "We're a small group, but a mighty one. The Vanguard will take the bravest position, as outlined." He nodded deferentially to the twins. "The rear guard, however, will infiltrate and exfiltrate through the sewers - circumventing the security system entirely."

One of the brothers pushed the others, as he angrily snacked on some mouse-like fritters and guzzled beer. "Dirty poop sewer for you two - HAHAHAHA!" Vossari nodded dutifully as the lizard-men cackled.

"Dirty poop sewer indeed. You ready for it, master burglar?" Not waiting for an answer, Vossari re-equipped his helmet and settled up the tab. Time to move.

A speeder car took them across the town, towards the edge of the city, where a compound merged into the forest jutted at the edge of a waterfall. They were still several kilometers away, in speeder, as Vossari scouted the site with his built-in binoculars. "I count...six guards on duty now." He couldn't tell perfectly.

The brothers nodded eagerly as they suited up in heavy armor, fingering sabers and heavy blaster rifles while they smoked their spice. "We like those odds...." The bigger one hissed out. "They'll never see it coming."

Vossari looked towards a shallow grate, where dirty water overflowed into the river at the base of the waterfall. Vossari looked to Talon, and once more to the Barabel. "This is where we separate, boys. Stay strong. Give 'em hell."

Vossari plopped open the grate and, with a whisk of his fingers and the force, the poop water split - allowing him and Talon to pass through the sewer uninhibited. He began to trudge forward.

@Zay