Brayden Kore

Brayden Kore

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[Shout out to Prudence for the incredible Character Sheet]

Brayden Kore
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"I'm the sword, so that they can keep believing they are the shield"
― Brayden "The Beast" Kore

BASIC INFORMATION

ALIAS

The Beast
AFFILIATION
The Jedi Order
RANK
Jedi Knight

AGE

32
SPECIES

Human
GENDER
Male
HEIGHT
6'1"
WEIGHT
185 lbs.
BUILD
Tall, Muscular, Lean

HAIR COLOR

Brown
EYE COLOR
Blue
FORCE SENSITIVE??
Y
FINANCES
Started:
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1,000

Closing:
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1,000
DROIDS:
None

ATTRIBUTES & ABILITIES

STRENGTH

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DEXTERITY
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STAMINA
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INTELLIGENCE
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WISDOM
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CHARISMA
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PILOTING
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WILLPOWER
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MEDICAL EXPERTISE
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SKILLS

LONG RANGE PROJECTILE
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MEDIUM RANGE PROJECTILE
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CLOSE RANGE PROJECTILE
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LONG RANGE BLASTER
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MEDIUM RANGE BLASTER
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CLOSE RANGE BLASTER
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BLADE COMBAT, LONG
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BLADE COMBAT SHORT
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BLADE COMBAT, PROJECTED
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SLICING
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LOCK PICKING
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FORCE COMBAT
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EQUIPMENT & INVENTORY


PRIMARY WEAPON(S)

Silver Lightsaber R. Hand | Blue Lightsaber L.Hand

SECONDARY WEAPON(S)
N/A| N/A

ARMOR(S)
Basic Jedi Knight Attire. Re-tailored to have a black coat, and a grey robe.

TRANSPORTATION
YT-1300 Light Freighter, The Odyssey

MISCELLANEOUS
Com-link, Damage-Resistant Datapad, Tracking Beacons(4), Tracking Remote(able to plug into datapad), Necklace of dreams.

BASE OF OPERATIONS / HOME / SAFEHOUSES:
Ship The Odyssey, Family Ranch on The Naboo

BIOGRAPHY

Early Life



Brayden Kore, to put it simply came from what could only be described as the perfectly family. His mother and father were simply folk on the planet of The Naboo. His father a farmer who never struggled with anything more than trying keep up with all the demand for his produce. His mother, was a kind woman who worked in the city at a bank as a simple teller/associate, who helped with clients. Brayden himself was the first born of three siblings, separated by two years and nine months from his twin sisters. As most would say, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful story where, Brayden would grow up to be a good looking popular boy in school, naturally intelligent. He’d go on to meet a beautiful noble girl whose father was in politics, whom he would woo with his Charisma again a natural trait. This Charisma along with other natural affinities would lead him to want to be a man of worthy of his beautiful home of Naboo. He’d join the armed forces, after marrying his school sweetheart of course, retire and go into politics where he’d make his Family and Home proud of him.



Unfortunately for both The Naboo, and Brayden his tale wouldn’t be quite as storybook as that. Sure, he’d have all the qualities and natural gifts still bequeathed to him, however, they wouldn’t be used in such a quiet life. Around the age of five, a couple of cloaked figures knocked on the door of family’s ranch, which was modest but large enough for the five family members. In Brayden’s young mind, the two looked mysterious but, friendly, in fact he had a perfectly good feeling about them, so despite his parents worried looks, the young boy would walk up to the door as well smiling with a hand extended to greet them. The two cloaked men were Jedi, who had been alerted to the presence of a very powerful force sensitive child, and it was quickly proven to be true, by the fact that the boy immediately recognized that they were to be trusted and knew they were there for him.



Brayden’s parents had tried to convince the two to not take their son away, citing that the Galaxy was at the most part in a time of peace thanks to their efforts in exterminating the Sith threat. The two Jedi, knowing that the Naboo being a near Outer Rim planet, and of no allegiance yet, despite talks of a possible Republic joining, decided to relent and told the truth. There were many signs that despite their recent victory the Sith seemed to be growing even more powerful and could attack at any time, when asked how they know, the two would only answer that they force was leading them towards that conclusion. The council which was seated happily in a peaceful part of the Galaxy while the Knights were sent on recruiting and reconnaissance, had been the ones to originally feel the disturbance and did not want to waste time on waiting, and immediately began sending more Knights to recruit and find Force Sensitives, which is what lead to Brayden being found.



As he was known to do so much in those early years, Brayden didn’t seem to be phased by the change and simply smiled as his family, hugging his mother and father saying how he was going to help protect the Galaxy and be a Hero. The way he said it and how sure he was of his destiny helped his parents accept it more than the Jedi’s words. The most distraught however, were his twin sisters who had to be held by the parents before he could get out the door. With a final look back, the last thing his family saw of him was a brilliantly wide smile and a truly happy face.



Don’t be misled too much by yet another happy segment of this story, just because he believes everything will be fine and he will go on to be a Hero of the Jedi does not mean it will be easy. A facet he found to be true far earlier than most when brought to the training academy for younglings. His presence was one immediately felt by many, not just in the raw power many Masters could sense from him, but in his presence. The sun seemed brighter when he was around, his attitude even as a child seemed to bring the most out of everyone fellow students and masters alike. From the beginning of his training if there was something he didn’t understand he would ask questions until he had every piece down. If another student was struggling or was confused, instead of embarrassing them by offering to help or telling the teacher they needed help, he’d feign his own confusion and ask for help so that indirectly they’d be assisted.



This went on for a couple of years, before it was made obvious he was far too skilled to be kept a youngling, and was given a master around the age of ten, much earlier than most Padawan who were normally around thirteen. It was often joked that had the boy been discovered at birth, he likely would have already been a Padawan. As for Brayden himself, things were moving so fast, it was always a little difficult to keep up, even with his penchant for recognizing faces to names he reckoned he’d have a hard time remembering every single person who came up to him, asking him to keep them in mind when one day he become the Grand Master of the Jedi Order.



The man who would become Brayden’s master was a miraluken by the name of Jerack Mare, he was a slender man, who couldn’t have been taller than five foot ten. His voice though, reached a level of calming and soothingness(I know it’s not a word), Brayden couldn’t believe it. It was quite literally like the man’s tongue was made out of silk and everything he said was true, whether or not you knew for a fact it was not. Despite early remarks, about his vision, Mare proved that it was more of a strength then a weakness to him, that he was able to see that force instead of just with his eyes.



The idea intrigued Brayden but he’d always put a pin on that for later, especially with his developing hormones taking his mind to other places, sometimes no places at all, as he had begun to catch a disease called, teenageritist. The major symptoms being becoming aloof, over confident, moody, and loud, despite these occasional issues, the bond between them grew quickly and strongly. Having been taken at the age of Five instead of earlier, Brayden did still have some memories, or more likely muscle or reflexive memories of what a father was like. Jerack triggered this often, which if asked about it now, Brayden would say he loved him like one.



Around the time that Brayden had turned fifteen, the council had recognized this as their notoriety grew, and they decided the two needed to be separated despite both parties fighting, albeit politely, the new order. They were on their final mission together, a land dispute on Alderaan, when things were going to take a turn for both them, and the Galaxy itself. Over their time together, Brayden had grown both physically and mentally, he was nearly the same height as Jerack at this point standing at five foot seven inches himself, but still very lanky. Mentally he had a great understanding of the force now, and had started to become arrogant in his skills, but not in a taunting or compensating manner. He simply took it as known fact he was gifted very gifted, and had become aware of it, very aware of it, when he’d heard that many masters back home had started to quarrel amongst themselves for the honor of training him and becoming his new teacher.



Personally Brayden still hadn’t given up on the idea that he was going to keep Jerack as his teacher, but he had to admit being viewed as so desired by everyone made him feel special. It was during these thoughts he’d gotten a rude awakening by Jerack as they entered into the estate of the affronted House, with a slap up the backside of his head, swiftly dealt by Jerack that no one had seen. Giving him a quick side glare which he only remembered halfway into it Jerack couldn’t see quickly face-palmed, in front of the Hall where the House leader awaited them. A guard politely asked if anything was wrong with the boy whom only replied, “Oh I’m fine, I was just temporarily blinded by my own momentary stupidity.”

The Guard was bewildered by the comment but was reassured by a smiling Jerack who simply shook his head to ignore the comment.



A couple of days later and negotiations had gone nowhere, it was as if House Thul, didn’t want the dispute settled diplomatically, it was strange. In fact their latest call for a meeting was strange as well, as it had been called in the middle of the night in a towered office in their Estate. Both Jerack, and Brayden had noticed that the Leader of House Thul seemed to be an incompetent man, who seemed angry for the way his House had been treated thousands of years ago, Khal, Brayden recalled his name being. As the pair arrived at the house, the Guards seemed to be gone, but they were soon greeted by a personal Envoy of Khal whom they met earlier in the week. He had lead them to the office, where he offered to get drinks for them before exiting the door when both occupants declined realizing they may have just walked into a trap.



“I guess this one’s your fault, what’s the talley now? You twenty, myself sitting at nineteen now?” The padawan seemed almost too relaxed, a thing his master noticed but found himself inclined to feed into it, “Well that depends are we counting that excursion on Hutta, or not?” The mention quickly brought a sickly pale face to Brayden as he shook his head, “Fine, fine eighteen to nineteen. Remember though we promised to never bring that up again.”


It was then that a voice out of a dark corner of the room spoke, “No, no please go on I’m intrigued now.” The voice was lacey and as beautiful as the woman who stepped out of the corner, her jet black locks pulled into a pony tail that was draped over her left shoulder and laying between her black robe covered breasts. The woman herself was strangely red, it had confused Brayden as he never recalled a race of people that were red, especially with what looked like bone arches protruding from her jawline that looked rough but soft. He had however heard shallowing of breath from his side where his master stood.


Brayden was even more confused, his Master had never shown any kind of deference to any opponent they faced before, sure she was sneaky, but they’ve had enemies get the drop on them before. The fact he had gone quiet for a moment made him worry, what exactly was the issue, the woman however seemed to be aware of it and of why, leaving Brayden even more in the dark. “So I see, I have a fan, I take it you know who and what I am?” Her voice purposely becoming more sultry as if she was excited by her own secret notoriety.



As she took a step forward making a slow obvious movement to her belt, Jerack quickly moved in front of Brayden and turned for what seemed like an instant, “You need to leave head to the ship alert the council, say they have revealed themselves!” Never one to ignore his master in situations like this one, Brayden turned to run towards the door when a streak of lightning was hurled towards him zapping the metal door making the entire mechanism lock up, activating the magnetic seals. “Oh I’m sorry were you going somewhere?”



“Oh don’t look so down handsome, you’re far too cute to kill now, after I take care of your Master I think I may just take you with me, I bet you’ll grow into a handsome one.” It was clear she’d used those misdirecting tactics before and on the hormonal mess that was Brayden, it succeeded in flustering him but only for a moment as her blade hadn’t connected with him thanks to his Master blocking it with her green one, ‘When had she even drew it?’ The thought had him sweating bullets as he began to realize exactly how outmatched he was right now, how did he even expect to help at all?



He was even froze in place, and could only sit and watch as his master was being toyed with, a man he respected for his knowledge and power. A man whom he considered one of the strongest Jedi he’d ever met, and he was being treated like a novice. “Awh, it seems I scared your little Padawan, dear Jerack maybe you should have left him home for his little date, hmm?” Not taking her up on her taunt, Jerack simply parried her once again and flourished breaking her Guard and sending her into the far wall, angrily.



“Oh? In the mood for it to be a little rough I see. Well two can play at that game.” No longer was the teasing smile on her face, it had been replaced by a dangerous grin as he placed her red saber back on her belt and began using both hands to fire bolts of lightning at him. Fortunately for Brayden who had been worried the moment she began to fire lightning again, Jerack had effortlessly deflected the bolts using his brilliant blue lightsaber and smiled while he did it, until he noticed exactly what just happened. “Gotcha.” Her voice was almost too beautiful for how cruel a woman she was, as she turned to look at Brayden whose eyes went wide with understanding as well.



As her hands went forward, he reached for his lightsaber, he was going to attempt the same thing his Master had, maybe he’d get lucky and learn something that undoubtedly took his master who knows how long to learn, in the next split second. As he pulled his hilt up, it was already too late, the lightning was headed his way and all he could see was the bright purple and blue lights of the energy heading towards him. He had accepted it and closed his eyes when he felt nothing a second later he opened his eyes to see his Master standing in front of him singed to the point of his clothes partially falling off of him in tatters, including his blindfold which revolved the condition his eyes had been in since birth.


Completely toasted both inside and out, Jerack knew he was gone, but he still had to find a way to help his Padawan survive, so he did the only thing he could do. He smiled at him the same way that he had smiled at him when he first met him, as wide as he could to the point that his eyes squinted. “Brayden, I believe in you more than anything else in my life.” After those last words, he turned back around to face the yellow eyed, red skinned opponent and took one step forward before falling forward his lightsaber following suit landing across the room next to the assassin.



“How unbelievably lame, that was your Master? Hah, pathetic, well not so much him, he was pretty skilled, but more so, how your powerful skilled master had to waste his life protecting a weakling like you.” Bending over to pick up the loose blade, she grimaced at Brayden, “So unfortunately I’m going to have rescind that offer I made you earlier, we don’t take losers, haha, or crybabies.” The last word was added when she noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks. She was about to pocket the souvenir lightsaber when it suddenly jerked away from her and landed into the hands, of the “crybaby”.



However, as the Assassin noticed, he didn’t look anything like he had a second ago, in fact the sheer serious look he exuded actually gave her a shiver, even with the tears still marked against his face. To regain control of the moment she grabbed her own lightsaber and was about to make a clever remark, when the room had begun to quake, and then she felt it.



Rage.



Rage unlike anything she’d ever felt before. Pieces of the room began to crumble and pinch inward as if the room was trying to collapse in on itself, like an implosion. Brayden look down at his hand, which held his Master’s lightsaber, with a push he ignited the blade before calmly looking at the assassin, but it wasn’t a normal calm. It was a blinding calm caused by the rage inside him, giving him tunnel vision on one goal, “To kill this woman.”



As she began to look around the room at the imploding pinches of metal, Brayden saw his chance and shot forward at full speed. Both hands were gripping his Master’s blade as he swung at her, each swing faster and more precise then the previous one, feeding off of his own emotions giving him more and more power and precision in each swing. Despite the increased strength however, he was still just a Jedi in Training, so the Assassin was able to escape that onslaught, but was surprised to see that his following strike cleaved the wall she was standing in front of down the middle.



She decided to try and use his own anger against him, to cause him to make a mistake so her job would become easier, “If you’re mad now, wait until you hear this. He wasn’t even the target of this whole plan. I just needed to take you out, he was just in the way.” The realization was starting to break through but he was fighting to ignore it, but she continued. “That’s right, I killed him, just because he was associated to you. In fact we’ve learned quite a lot about you, which is why my original intent was to bring you back with me, you’d make an excellent Sith.” She smiled to herself at the thought of her following words, “Given the right Master, a competent one like myself.”



His anger still prevalent he was trying to talk himself out of it by allowing his Master’s influence to take over for the time being, “Grrr. Quit trying to break my resolve and fight me!” Her first attempt was a failure she thought blocking his strikes, each one becoming more and more difficult as he gained focus back from her failed attempts at anger. She really was supposed to bring him back, if only he was as weak as his fami….right.



“Well you’ve definitely got more fight in you then your family did that’s for sure.” She added almost too happily as she deflected the next strike away from her with enough force to send Brayden off balance and to the side.



“You’re lying!” The immediate denial phrase was the first thing to enter Brayden’s mind and the first to exit his mouth.



“Awh, the twins would be devastated to hear that you didn’t care about them. Not that they can hear anything these days without their heads.” Her smirked had spread across her face, which had been pinched into an elated emotion reveling at the memories.



Brayden’s face had gone blank, he hadn’t sensed her lying, and now felt an emptiness within the pit of his stomach followed by an odd feeling where he imagined his soul was. It was a shattering feeling, as if everything that was right to him, had just decided to leave. He hadn’t even remembered when he hit her, he just remembered when he heard her cries for him to stop. Fueled not broken by the loss of not just his Master but also his family, he was on her immediately using his lightsaber combat mixed in with his hand to hand training to use his saber hand to force her to block high and use his free hand to palm thrust her chin, dislocating her jaw.



The immediate pain had caused her to drop her light saber and she stumbled backwards where she was caught in a kick to the abdomen immediately after by Brayden sending her into the wall painfully coughing blood. It’s here where it gets a little muddled by both memory and blood….



A polite cough was heard as the man reading the report was stopped, “There’s more here.” He laid the data-pad back down on the table and looked side to side at his other colleagues as he finally returned his vision to the man in front of them.



“I know, but I do not need to hear any more of his tragic experience.” He sighed deeply, “To lose so much all at once, is a hard thing even for a Jedi, especially for one in training.” He had been looking down while saying those thoughts out loud, but rose his head back up to address the group looking at him from their seats.


“So, what do you plan on doing with him now, surely this has destroyed nearly all the immense progress he has made. I mean who would even want something so broken. Even if he is….was special. He may have been special, but broken is broken. He was to be a great Jedi Knight.” The voice which came from the end of the table sounded disappointed like someone who made lost big on a good investment that went sour.



The man who had listened to the report simply looked left to right, his face stoic, “I’ll just have to remake him then.” Despite the way it sounded, they knew that was what he planned on doing exactly, but what he was going to be rebuilt into was what worried them. He had tasted the poisoned waters, a hard thing to go without ever doing again after the first time.



A few hours later, the same man was at the Jedi Holding cells when he came across what he was looking for and for the second time that day, sighed deeply and sadly, “Come on Brayden, you don’t get to just live the easy life like so many others did, you have a more important destiny than that.” He hit a few buttons on the key pad opening the Ray Shields, and offering a hand to the teen, who simply appeared to be shattered. His face lifeless of emotion just nodded and grabbed the hand, causing the one offering it to just shake his head, “Guess I do have my work cut out for me.”



“Tell me son, have you ever heard of the story of Revan The Master of Light and Dark?” Curious but confused, Brayden shook his head side to side indicating he had not, “Well we’ve got a long trip, so I guess I can fill you in on the way.”


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PERSONALITY

Brayden is a man, who has seen the many faces of the Galaxy, both good and bad, some too early in life, some too late in life. Many of those events made him the man he is today, and others he wishes he could erase from his mind so that he might sleep in a way that he wants to look forward to waking up, not wanting to stay in his dreams. That being said, he isn’t a man who lives in the past, or regrets a lot of things from his past, he is just a man who is haunted by his past in that he wasn’t as powerful as he is now. To take that point further, he used to often chastising himself for not being as powerful now, as he could have been, had he not been forced to lose so much. No, he doesn’t live in the past at all, anymore that is. At least that’s what he had been telling himself.



To be fair to him, however, he doesn’t let his past failures both him too much when he is doing things other than lying in bed late at night. Normally he tries to keep himself in better spirits, doing as the Jedi Council tried to instill in his mind back when he was still a Youngling and Padawan, that allowing emotions to rule you is opening the door to suffering, and all the precedes it. In his case, that would be reliving the suffering, so he’s been trying to get better at daily meditation to combat this, which has had mixed results to this point.



There is more to Brayden then past suffering however, he is a not so young man anymore, who has been a Jedi for over twenty-five years, which alone shows his determination, as well as tenacity. He is also fiercely loyal, probably too loyal as the council puts it, but it’s not like they’ve ever had any complaints about it, they just try to teach him, that attachment is not the Jedi way. Brayden is also very good at somehow managing to be successful despite being horrible at following the Jedi Code, a factor that has many wishing he would formally leave the order, and save himself the embarrassment of disgracing his legacy even more.


Those are just the people who Brayden hasn’t associated with though, those who have, have been given more insight on the man himself, who is intelligent, good with machines, a hell of a pilot, and a person who would never betray the order. Despite those good traits however, he can be combative, arrogant, and can become too emotionally involved. He certainly doesn’t lack for impatience either which may be another reason why even those who don’t mind him, are not a fan of working with him.


Given his unusual combination of amazing Charisma, incredible Jedi skills, and the horrible start upon entering the world of Jedi when he was a Padawan, he is surprisingly stable. After some recent developments between the Order and some potential Mercenary and Para military operations however, it’s very possible that the order may go a very long time without having to deal with him their selves anymore, and he may be instead moved to be an agent of the Order’s interests.




Skills and Abilities

Lightsaber Techniques:

Form I:Shii-Cho [Master Level] [Defensive capabilities compromised]
Form II: Makashi [Adept Level]
Form III: Soresu [Advanced Level] [Adept when overconfident]
Form IV: Ataru [Master Level]
Form V: Shien [Advanced] Djem so [Advanced]
Form VI: Niman [Adept] (Currently training in)


Force Powers:
Brayden has always been a very combat oriented Jedi, reveling in the challenge as much as the thrill of battle. Reflecting this he often uses Force abilities in his fights, shown by his usage of the Ataru style of fighting, which requires a great deal of Force energy. Though he has been known to slip in the past, Brayden focuses mainly on the Light Side of the Force when he needs to calm himself or even to focus amidst battle. Though he concentrates mainly on Telekinetic and Acrobatic skills, he is a natural at Sensing, and he is always trying to improve when it comes to Light Side Force manipulation.

Strength and Weakness Clarification:
Strengths:
Brayden is quite simply an extremely skilled individual, he has all the Charm needed to get any woman, make any friends, and even convince some that he is right or telling the truth even when is his not. A fantastic duelist, there are few save for Masters who can match his skill with a Lightsaber, what makes him even more impressive is his need to continually improve. Despite the fact he does not use the Force often he is not without skill in it, and can access Telekinetic and Acrobatic abilities with ease. His skills do reach outside of the realm of being a Jedi as well, as he's known to be an amazing Pilot, especially in Light Freighters or Fighters where he has maximum maneuverability. With the intelligence he was both born with and earned through years of study he has used this to become an excellent tool man, as he can repair, modify, and build just about anything he sets his mind to, as long as he has the right tools and time to do it in. Without his weapon, the Lightsaber he is an excellent hand to hand combatant, having trained with many specialists of the art, this being because he does not use any other weapons besides his Lightsaber and the Force.

Weaknesses:
All his strength, skills, and smooth talking only shows that no matter how skilled an individual is, no one is perfect. Brayden is arrogant more so then most Jedi, even in his time where Jedi were not known for resting on the laurels, but out creating balance and justice. His arrogance will lead to him overestimating his skills over an opponent, but he will not underestimate an opponent, which can be just as bad as doing such, because he realizes how strong his opponent is and still overestimates himself. This will lead to and has before, Brayden allowing himself to be backed into a corner or getting tunnel vision during a battle which has unforeseen but terrible consequences. As shown during his training as a Padawan as well as his standing with the Jedi Order, he has a terrible temper. The temper that Brayden has shown in the past, has nearly lead him stray more then once when it comes to keeping his Path in the light. This leaves him open to corruption to some extent, though it may not be simple or easy it is possible, very much so. When he has these bouts of giving into his anger, his ability to channel the Light Side of the force becomes clouded, and he has to choose whether to step back and try to calm himself down until he is ability to more proficiently use it again. Or, he can give in to the anger, and channel a darker power without having to endanger himself in combat and immediately be effective again.


Outside of his personal weaknesses, because of his confidence in his ability with a Lightsaber and hand to hand combat, he does not carry any other weapons, which can cause him trouble in certain situations, making him nearly useless. His focus on Combat, as a Jedi has caused him to let other things deteriorate or stagnate to the point that his skills are very remedial in them. This keeps him limited in his Battle Strength, as he cannot engage in long distance combat very effectively. True he has good control of Telekinetic Force powers, but that's all he has, and because his opponent would be far away, they would have a lot of reactionary time. His ability to heal with the force doesn't go beyond pain management or healing small injuries on himself, as for healing others, aside from basic surface wounds, they would be better off going to a healer or doctor. Wisdom is always a difficult thing to gauge, for instance, he is well read in combat situations and can develop a strategy for battle with relative ease, but diplomacy is lost on him in certain ways. He is a good speaker, and can befriend nearly anyone, but he is not effective at ending disputes between people, as he lets himself get annoyed at fools. The term, "I do not suffer fools" definitely applies to him more than most.

Important Notes: Brayden's personality tangibly affects his fighting ability. This is being noted as dual protection, of both me as the writer and others who find themselves in situations against Brayden. Due to his brash, arrogant behavior in fights, where he is over confident his ability to properly perform his defensive forms is deteriorated by a single skill level to be tangible. For example Form III Soresu would not be as effective when used to defend himself and he would be harder pressed to counter using it. Form I Shii-Cho would only be affected on it's defensive use. Also when angered, it's noted he has a harder time using the Light Side of the force, also to make tangible, when he does use it, it will actually be weaker and may not even work all together. I.E. using any kind of healing abilities would not work, attempting to calm himself on the fly would not work without meditation (This may not seem like a big deal, but if you can't calm yourself down without mediation and you're in a fight to survive and can only focus on anger that's not a good thing for a Jedi especially mentally). Is legitimately susceptible to the dark side.

ROLEPLAYS


 
Last edited:

Asinine Soup

Jesus' Advocate
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In my honest opinion - he's just too perfect. A lot of skills, forms, and a clear placeholder for a Dark Side switch. The latter isn't bad, per say, but I can't say others will be too approving of the following:
Form I:Shii-Cho [Master Level] [Defensive capabilities compromised]
Form II: Makashi [Adept Level]
Form III: Soresu [Advanced Level] [Adept when overconfident]
Form IV: Ataru [Master Level]
Form V: Shien [Advanced] Djem so [Advanced]
Form VI: Niman [Adept] (Currently training in)

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ATTRIBUTES & ABILITIES
Too mary-sue; the fact that he's a jedi and is also above-average in rifle and blaster combat also indicates he's over-all unbalanced. He doesn't have any evident weaknesses, in my book, and that's something I feel is wise to stray away from. Embrace shortcomings in your characters! It gives them room to develop. :)

I wish you the best and I hope you have fun, all the same!

PS: Wonderful writing, great story, great profile.
 

Marcus

Cranky Jedi
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Thanks for the feedback. I was working with Brayden in PMs to get things trimmed quite a bit. I'll let him respond, but he has been very open to making this character work, so your feedback is very welcome from what I can tell.
 

Brayden Kore

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First of all, sorry for writing so much, I am a wordy individual, and i find it very difficult to concise my thoughts, especially when I have so many of them to start with. So if you need to just ask specific questions and I can answer them one by one. However this should pretty much catch all the ones you have now. If you get more let me know whenever you want to :)

I thought i lowered his blaster skills to be sub-par if not straight out novice level. The reason i intended to do that, is he is basically so overconfident in his hand to hand and lightsaber abilities that using any other weapon would be a waste of his time. I'll fix that, in just a moment. As far as embracing his weaknesses, I had meant for his personality to be his major defect, how many times in media have we seen what would be called a potential hero brought down by his attitude or personality that just doesn't keep up with that. Or using a better example, someone who was going to be "the best ever" brought down to just being great because something happened to them. Honestly I think the effect of 'knowing' you had the potential to be one of the best ever and to only ever be able to reach a level of 'great' is a horrid aspect. To put that in perspective, Mickey Mantle, was one of the best baseball players of all time in fact he very likely would have been the best ever, but he hurt his knee when he was young and early in his career. He was still amazing and great, but because of that loss of potential to be the best ever, he drank, slept around, basically succumbed to the easy pleasures in life to fill that void of losing who he could have been. Now I don't want to go too far into detail on what I have planned for brayden, because being the forward looking person I have, may have written a cheat sheet of his schedule. By this I mean I wrote a couple pages of an outline for his story, which goes into some pitfalls and heroic moments etc. It's pretty vague but I centered it around the site's plot.

Now to explain the one obvious flaw that I do actually agree with, are his lightsaber style mastery levels. The centerpiece for him as a character was to be this Jedi Monster who was so skilled that he was terrifying in prospect, now I had considered making him a force monster but my writing style leans more towards him being a physical monster, but I kept that avenue open just in case. Back to my point however, making him this way, gives him the atmosphere of being a truly dangerous individual especially given the large hints I made towards his potential fall, so this creates an opening for both sides to make cases for him to choose that side. Again without spoiling my current version of his outline, it's pretty detailed. To defend the use of having so many lightsaber styles and his skill level at them I used our timeline as an example, this is roughly the 5th strongest era of Jedi, making it not uncommon for battlemasters, masters, or even skilled knights to be good at all styles. In my opinion all jedi should know the styles, their skill level can be remedial, but they should know them. Brayden just takes that up a notch and decides he wants to be as good as possible so that he can regain the potential he had before he became so broken. (now spoilers for him, that's impossible he'll never be what he could have been barring a very unlikely outcome, but he thinks he can by simply becoming the best at everything)
 

Marcus

Cranky Jedi
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So what if you lower his skills in the bars, and note verbally that he once was uber-skilled but now suffers from his high-stress past? His bars could even have a faded red for what he "used" to be. That way, you explain that he once was a bada$$, but is now not quite as much because of how that sort of tore him up in a way. His overconfidence and maybe over-doing it has knocked his power down a couple notches. He appears less-skilled, but perhaps over time he could build back to that level again. Even gives you, the writer, a goal!

Would that work, and does that capture what you're after?
 
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