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"THIS TIME on....Blasterfire! A special segment with the Ragin' Nautolan, D'Fayne Orville!"
The camera pans to a well-dressed Nautolan, earnestly leaning forward in his seat on a set stage. Across from him is Dex, the long-time talking point prompter and part-time foil to the political personality and conspiracy theorist known as the Ragin' Nautolan. Orville begins speaking, set lights gleaming across his bare head.
"Um, hello! To those of you watching SenateSpan as we were, alarming revelations have come up in the proceedings. What began as a Junior Senator fumbling hard on the play quickly turned into a full-blown scandal and attempted coverup. The story is still developing and we fully expect the Senate to permanently expel the Jedi from their sessions, but we have concerns, don't we Dex?"
Dex, a human with salt and pepper hair and a slightly rugged, wrinkled face nodded in agreement. "That we absolutely do. Now, I have to admit I'm confused with all of this force power stuff, it's just fuckin' space magic or something, right? For those of us who aren't watching the Senate proceedings right now, do you want to fill them in?"
D'Fayne clapped his hands and rubbed them together briskly. "Of course!" he exclaimed, as if struck by the genius of the question. "Friends, citizens, to nobody's real surprise it appears that the Jedi have been using the Force, for spirits know what, on our own Supreme CHancellor in the middle of a session of the Senate!" he announced, wringing his hands excitedly. "Now there have been, as my dear friend and colleague Lîsabé Hanivel has mentioned, rampant speculation that Supreme Chancellor Ro and Grandmaster Voran are carrying on a secret and intimate affair. And I have to admit the tone of what has transpired, this weird, brief passive-aggressive exchange of words lends support to that. BUT that is not the point right now. It was reported by a member of the ISC, who is able to sense the force, that Voran used the force while directly looking at Ro!"
Dex shook his head in disbelief. "And is that even the worst of it?"
D'Fayne pounded a fist on the sidetable next to him, rattling a bottle of spring water. "No! It is not! When questioned byt he Speaker, Voran denied intruding on the Chancellor's brain. And, get this - seconds later Chancellor Ro said the opposite! My friends, Voran lied to everyone in the middle of the Senate proceedings about what she had done. This isn't getting caught with your hand in the taxpayer's money, this is using the Force, a power that let's those who can use it do basically anything they want to other people, on the head of our government! And she lied about it!"
"What does this mean for the Senate? Obvious the Jedi can't be trusted, but what does this influence cast a shadow on?"
At this question, D'Fayne steepled his fingers and furrowed his brow in concern. "That is an extremely good question. It puts every single Senate session into doubt. Who else has Voran been planting ideas in? What did she communicate to Ro - nobody knows! Has she been subversively guiding the Senate into adopting her own agenda? Look, Voran and Ro are obviously connected somehow, and this revelation is just the tip of the iceberg, I will bet everything I have on that. How much influence has been exerted over our Chancellor and government? Are we living under a puppet government again? I think so!" he shouted in wild anger, flecks of spittle flying from his mouth.
Dex looked taken aback, but not entirely suprised. He turned his head to stare into the camera, nodding solemnly. "Indeed, it is an extremely troubling turn of events. Now, folks, the Senate is still in session and events continue to develop. We will return in a bit to discuss them after more thought and consideration. Until then, as always, question everything. This has been an emergency broadcast of....Blasterfire!"
The camera cuts to black and advertisements for surplus military rations begin to play.
The camera pans to a well-dressed Nautolan, earnestly leaning forward in his seat on a set stage. Across from him is Dex, the long-time talking point prompter and part-time foil to the political personality and conspiracy theorist known as the Ragin' Nautolan. Orville begins speaking, set lights gleaming across his bare head.
"Um, hello! To those of you watching SenateSpan as we were, alarming revelations have come up in the proceedings. What began as a Junior Senator fumbling hard on the play quickly turned into a full-blown scandal and attempted coverup. The story is still developing and we fully expect the Senate to permanently expel the Jedi from their sessions, but we have concerns, don't we Dex?"
Dex, a human with salt and pepper hair and a slightly rugged, wrinkled face nodded in agreement. "That we absolutely do. Now, I have to admit I'm confused with all of this force power stuff, it's just fuckin' space magic or something, right? For those of us who aren't watching the Senate proceedings right now, do you want to fill them in?"
D'Fayne clapped his hands and rubbed them together briskly. "Of course!" he exclaimed, as if struck by the genius of the question. "Friends, citizens, to nobody's real surprise it appears that the Jedi have been using the Force, for spirits know what, on our own Supreme CHancellor in the middle of a session of the Senate!" he announced, wringing his hands excitedly. "Now there have been, as my dear friend and colleague Lîsabé Hanivel has mentioned, rampant speculation that Supreme Chancellor Ro and Grandmaster Voran are carrying on a secret and intimate affair. And I have to admit the tone of what has transpired, this weird, brief passive-aggressive exchange of words lends support to that. BUT that is not the point right now. It was reported by a member of the ISC, who is able to sense the force, that Voran used the force while directly looking at Ro!"
Dex shook his head in disbelief. "And is that even the worst of it?"
D'Fayne pounded a fist on the sidetable next to him, rattling a bottle of spring water. "No! It is not! When questioned byt he Speaker, Voran denied intruding on the Chancellor's brain. And, get this - seconds later Chancellor Ro said the opposite! My friends, Voran lied to everyone in the middle of the Senate proceedings about what she had done. This isn't getting caught with your hand in the taxpayer's money, this is using the Force, a power that let's those who can use it do basically anything they want to other people, on the head of our government! And she lied about it!"
"What does this mean for the Senate? Obvious the Jedi can't be trusted, but what does this influence cast a shadow on?"
At this question, D'Fayne steepled his fingers and furrowed his brow in concern. "That is an extremely good question. It puts every single Senate session into doubt. Who else has Voran been planting ideas in? What did she communicate to Ro - nobody knows! Has she been subversively guiding the Senate into adopting her own agenda? Look, Voran and Ro are obviously connected somehow, and this revelation is just the tip of the iceberg, I will bet everything I have on that. How much influence has been exerted over our Chancellor and government? Are we living under a puppet government again? I think so!" he shouted in wild anger, flecks of spittle flying from his mouth.
Dex looked taken aback, but not entirely suprised. He turned his head to stare into the camera, nodding solemnly. "Indeed, it is an extremely troubling turn of events. Now, folks, the Senate is still in session and events continue to develop. We will return in a bit to discuss them after more thought and consideration. Until then, as always, question everything. This has been an emergency broadcast of....Blasterfire!"
The camera cuts to black and advertisements for surplus military rations begin to play.