Character Project Orion, seeking outside help and advice

[ShadowWalker]

Okay, as a lot of members probably already know, I recently launched a "Character Project" which I labelled Orion. Now what this character project entails was that I had to build not only this character from a character RP point of view, but also, build several key items for him, armor, weapons, things like that. Now it has apparently come to my attention that a majority of RPers who have reviewed said tech that I have put forth, not only have many questions, but also criticisms, and so I am respectfully asking either for a little help to make this character work, or their opinion on whether I should just trash a whole week's worth of writing and calculating for the character's tech, and other story boarding for the character itself. So. Here's what I have to work with right now from the character sheet. The armor is being redone, and several key points that have been brought about it (which I foresaw but didn't have the time to get the proper tech pages up) are also here. For those reading over the character portion, you can ignore the points of where he is raised and kidnapped by the Sith, as even that loyalty is under the scalpel right now.

Character portion:

COMPOSITION AND APPEARANCE:
6'4" cyborg body, silver eyes. His new body is in the perfect example of what a human should be at the age of 26, with plenty of muscle mass. His skin is very human like, made of a synthesized compound that mimics the elasticity, and color of skin, while also being just as durable, if not more so. His hair has a sickly look to it, being synthetic and white. When his skin covering is off and his armor plates are on, his body is matte black, his arms having synthetic bundles of muscle tissue to replace the actual muscle tissue, and with completely artificial joints, digits, and everything else. What dominates his appearance outside of his artificial skin, is the long and menacing modified Vibro Sword (also under contruction if any). He carries blaster rifle over his back as well, right underneath the sheath for his vibro sword.

Inside, his internals are modeled after a human's even with a circulatory system inside of his arms that directs the materials from the harvesters in his forearms back to the fuel cells for them to process the harvested materials into an extremely weak version of fuel to assist the recharging of his power cells. In order to keep the appearance of being human, they made the lubricant that keeps his artificial muscle from catching and rubbing against each other to the point of damaging it, the same coloration and viscosity of blood. However, if a limb becomes severed, it will become quite clear that it is synthetic with robotics.

PERSONALITY:
James is a character that is full of hate. He hates Jedi, the Alliance, and due to the Virtual Reality life that he lived for the last four years, he fervently believes that he is human. He is arrogant, but also quite intelligent. His intelligence stems from all of the "schooling" he received while in his Virtual Reality life, but his cunning is quite natural. He is one that loves the chase, of hunting down his prey, and getting them to fear him. He also takes much joy in taunting them, preferring to drive them into a angry haze which blinds them, rather than his which he believes enhances his senses, gives him strength. His pride is massive, and stems from what he believes is his natural abilities and strength. He also is a bit of a historian, and something of an art connoisseur, being able to admire good works of art, both paintings, murals, and books, though his views on which ones he likes, is quite narrow, only going after the kinds that agree with his line of thinking. However, their is one thing that is quite defining of his personality, even more so than his rage. It is his fear. He has a fear of failure, a fear of ridicule, and a fear of finding a problem that he can't fix. He fears that even with his strength and raw power he possesses, that he still will be not strong enough, not smart enough, not fast enough. But his greatest fear, is getting close to someone, only to see them die. This is why he goes to great lengths to distance himself to others, and if his "world" as in, all that he thinks he knows is true, was shattered and the truth revealed, he will not be the same.

LIKES AND DISLIKES:
James loves hunting whatever his superiors puts in front of him as prey. But his favorite kind of prey is Alliance troops, or what he hopes to go after soon is Jedi. He also likes the Sith as he thinks they stand for order and strength. He has a bit of curiosity about art, and history, especially military history. He looks at history with the sense of someone who is looking for answers to the future. He thinks that by studying the past, he can find all the answers for the future. As for something he prefers, he doesn't like having to lie, about anything. At all. He will hide from plain sight, and avoid something or tell a half truth, but he will never lie.

What he hates though, is the Alliance, the Jedi, for what they did to him in his "life" in the Virtual Reality. He also hates most other people, as he has preconceptions that they all hate him, and say things about him behind his back. But most of all, he hates losing. He absolutely hates losing to anyone. He also doesn't like others for racial reasons, seeing humans as genetically superior. He has a distaste for robots as well, and is very egocentric. As for another extreme dislike, is that for people who lie, more to him, than anything.

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:
James strengths are naturally his strength with his body, and ability to fight with his sword and blasters. Another strength that he has is his rage, as it grants him the ability to fight with much more strength, and with much greater ferocity than most warriors on the battlefield. He also has a natural cunning and intelligence that is enhanced by his cybernetic augmentation that he doesn't realize is true about him.

His weaknesses is also, his rage. It comes up quickly, and he can hardly control it. He also is extremely hard on himself for every loss, and every failure that he has experienced. But his major weakness, is what he believes is true. He absolutely believes that he is completely human, and to convince him of other wise would be difficult, but once he realizes something like that, his psyche, everything about him will fall apart. He won't know how to handle it, and will completely fall apart. Another, quite obvious weakness is that his cybernetic body is not completely hardened against EMP strikes, only vital systems that are keeping him alive. Everything else is vulnerable. A powerful enough blast from an EMP type weapon would leave him disabled and unable to move for an extended period of time, permanently if he isn't repaired. Also Ion weaponry is very effective against him, being able to temporarily disable body parts, and under concentrated fire, having the same effect as an EMP weaponry, or blast. He is also head strong, and always underestimates his opponents. His rage will also tire him out if he fights for too long. One last weakness that he has, is that he has an extreme distaste for lying, and, is very easy to read.

BIOGRAPHY:
James was a little street rat that lived on the streets of Nar Shadaa. He had a knack of surviving by stealing food from local vendors. He lived like this for eight years, when by simple luck of the draw (for various reasons, genetics, appearance beforehand, and lack of any notable parenting figures plus, dumb luck), he was kidnapped at the age of 12, and sent to a Sith facility. After a few months of living there as the Sith "rehabilitated" him. What was actually going on was that he was being prepped for the surgery and mental brainwashing. His brain and spinal cord was then surgically removed, and he was placed into a Virtual Reality for four years, but to him, it had seemed like it was thirteen.

It was there that he began a strict regime of good supportive parents with obvious loyalty to the Sith, school yard bullying for the way he looked and acted, and several incidents where the Alliance slaughtered all the “friends” that the system generated for him. This would continue as the system moved him from “family” to “family” until finally, he was virtually old enough to join the military. It was then he signed up voluntarily, and then when it was suggested that he volunteer for a new experimental program, to become an assassin of great strength and power, so that he could wreak destruction and havoc. The others he saw that were joining the Alliance, even his system generated “friends” hated him for joining the Sith. So he learned to hate them back. His “instructors” informed him to be ready to use his hatred to become stronger.

So James learned to hate them with everything he had. To get revenge, he subjected himself to the training to become an assassin. He learned how to kill, how to fight, how to shoot. Whenever he was put into a combat simulation, the doctors would put him to sleep, saying they had to put on his advanced armor which was extremely hard to begin with, and would be nigh impossible with him awake. What they really did was change the simulation to simulate his actual body without the skin covering and the added plates for his armor. For what seemed to be thirteen years to the boy, really took four. He learned to master the blade so he could fight Jedi, and blasters so he could fight regular troops. Whenever the training simulation was over, he get to the end where the doctors would tell him that he'd have to go back to sleep in order to get the armor off, which would really, be them putting the skin covering back on.

When he finally awoke from the VR room, and the brain was put into his cybernetic body, he didn't suspect anything. Now, all James is waiting for, is for his master to send him after his first target. He practices with his blade, and blasters, and the doctors have seen that the Virtual Reality training has done wonders for James, him continuing to have such ability with his weapons even in real life. His abilities mirror that of someone who was trained for ten years under the most skilled and harsh of trainers, which to this day have scientists wondering if such a project was just a fluke, or if there is actually a way to repeat such a project to get similar if not better results.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tech portion:


Orion Class Combat Armor

Class - Armor/Light

Appearance - See picture above

Function - Combat covering that comes in two layers. The "skin" which is polyfibe with durasteel woven into to help with strength, and to protect against smaller caliber blaster pistols. Against medium type blasters, rifles and sniper rifles, the armor is paltry, hardly helping at close range, and being moderately effective at mid to long ranges. For heavy type blasters, it is minimally effective at range, and non-existent at close range. To provide added protection to major components, several plates of a phrik/durasteel alloy have been placed at key points, on upper torso, forearms, calves/shins, and shoulders. The alloy is 30% phrik, and 70% durasteel, to help make it lighter and more durable, but also, more cost efficient.

Then there are the "fins" that are located at key points along the shoulders, along the fore arm, and upper arm. These fins are two centimeters in width, and vary in length to try to offer the most protection to the operator from melee weapons, and more specifically, light sabers. To make it easily replaceable without compromising the integrity of the armor too much, the "fins" are detachable, allowing new ones to be installed to replace the damaged or destroyed ones. This is difficult though without the aid of other personnel that are trained to handle the fins and install the new ones. The alloy that these are formed of is a solution (50/50) of Phrik/Durasteel with a Cortosis coating on the end to try and have an added protection. Tests have shown that the fins are moderately effective, and fit their design specifications perfectly. The ones at the shoulder, and upper arms are not designed to deflect repeated hammer blows from a lightsaber, and have shown that after one or two strikes, these plates fail catastrophically. The ones at the fore arm are considerably thicker, at 2 cm at the base, and with two of them in the same location allowing the fins have more durability, and tests have shown that should the operator become disarmed, these make excellent last resort defense options. However, with repeated hammer blows, they will only last twice as long as the shoulder and upper arm fins do, so about after the fourth strike, the fins usually fail. These fins are also highly effective at deflecting and blocking blows from standard melee weapons such as vibroblades and axes.

Another added utility on the armor, is the grappling claws located on the hands. To insure maximum durability and life span, plus strength, these are pure phrik. Combined with the strength of the artificial muscle aspect of the forearms, and calves, and these grappling claws can be used to cut and latch onto durasteel walls, giving the operator the ability to climb on just about any surface. It also makes these claws potent weapons, being able to cut through most tissues with ease, and allowing them to be used as infiltrators tools for other applications.


Artificial Skin covering

Class - Armor/Ultra light

Appearance - pale white

Function - The skin is a covering that is made for when James is outside of combat. The covering is made of a synthetic polyfibe that is made to mimic all the properties of skin, and is even a bit stronger than natural skin. It is more scratch resistant, able to withstand just a little more outside stress and trauma than normal skin. However it is not able to be able to repair itself, or stop any blaster fire of any kind. And the skin is not able to protect against other serious trauma like blades, however it is able to take punches from an average sized human with decent durability. It is not able to take hits from another synthetic very well at all.


Biological fuel (which for simplicity's sake, I referred to as a serum, being it is liquid mixture of many complex compounds) - Highly Pressurized and concentrated solution mix between Deuterium (the stabilizer and added fuel), Na3, Cl2, and massive amounts of condensed proteins all inside in the mix making it an extremely powerful, and potent energy solution for the fuel cells located next to his spine. This is synthesized synthetically onboard a ship's medical wing from chemicals, though a not very efficient replacement can be harvested from biological blood.



What you see above is what I have left for now. And I'm getting ready to completely scrap this project as it would seem that many a member has been infuriated with the small misunderstandings that this project seems to have been generated.

 

[Lycanthorph]

While this kind of a sophisticated cyborg character is interesting and not really common, it`s not easy to pull it off because with all the advantages the character has or might have, he needs to have some drawbacks or disadvantages to even the odds. Balance is the key. I am not here to criticise your character, I am simply trying to help you build the character and adress certain points concerning the character.

1) Artificial muscle tissue. I am not sure about this, but I think that kind of technology does not exist in the Star Wars universe.

2) Virtual Reality. Again, I am not 100 percent sure about it, but I also think that it is another technology that does not exist in the Star Wars universe. Still, I see what you are going for here ( the whole re-education thing ) and I can tell you that something complex as Virtual Reality is unnecessary. There are Force Powers in existence which can alter the mind and memories of a biological sentient being, mostly practiced by the Sith. It can range from influencing a person that a friend is a foe and vice versa to extensive memory alteration. Of course, the more complex alteration one wants, the more training in that power is required. ( My Jedi character was captured by a Sith Crusader quite skilled in the said power and was able to turn him into a Jedi-hating Sith in a relatively short timespan ).

3) Since your character heavily relies on cybernetics to survive, wouldn`t that make him significantly vulnerable to EMP ? I mean, a few powerful shots just might disable the whole body and/or life-sustaining organs/components.

4) Power source. Again, since the character uses a great number of cybernetics, he requires a power source of significant output to power the said cybernetics. Also, since the cybernetics require a lot of energy to function, I don`t think all of them could function at the same time ( with the exception of vital systems [ think FTL if you might have played it. You can`t have all systems running at the same time. If you want all 4 weapon modules to work at the same time, you might have to decrease power to transporter or medical bay :P ] )

5) On-Board Repair System. You have to understand that while nanotechnology and nanites with the purpose of repairing ... stuff exist, it is still considered a new technology and thus is somewhat primitive. Plus, that might be one hell of a power drain.

6) At first glance, one might think that this character is a bit OP ( OverPowered ) . If that`s what you are going for, I just wish to tell you that you should try to avoid it. While OP characters might seem bad-ass ( like Raiden, the cyborg ninja ), they can get really boring very fast.

 

[ShadowWalker]

I shall answer the parts in order.

Number one. Artificial muscle tissue is actually it is one of the more lucrative options for prosthetic limbs, and is considered a subcutaneous (under the skin) enhancement. It looks nicer than just a robotic limb, and has the upside to being stronger than natural muscle tissue.

Number Two. In order to make such a project repeatable (ie I am handing over the permissions to create more Sith based characters like this, or even to allow the higher ups to create more generic versions that would be more stable in their loyalty, but weaker) a virtual reality system would be much easier than having a Sith go through and rewrite multiple people's memories to have the same effect (as with as far as I know, such an effort is quite taxing, but I could be wrong on that). Also look up the Clone Wars with clone soldiers grown by the Kaminoans.

Number Three. Only vital systems have been hardened against EMP. So, basically an EMP will disable him and knock him unconscious while damaging a lot of his major systems, and making it nigh impossible to do much without his pain receptors going off the walls if they weren't damaged as well. Basically, an EMP would kick his ass, but not completely kill him.

Number Four. Which is why the power cells are being constantly charged by the fuel cells, and not all of his components are running except when he's been given a fresh dose of his synthesized serum which intentionally over drives his fuel cell system. That is why the repair systems, and other major components are one off or burst systems. For example, the force multipliers are only activated when consciously accessed, and the self repair functions are only allowed on when a fresh dosage of the "serum" is applied to his fuel cell system.

Number Five. MARE, My point exactly. The machines cannot make complex repairs, nor can they repair major systems. What they do is small maintenance on things designed to assist the operator to help the operator survive for the next short bit, not completely heal him. It's a robotic version of triage.

And finally Number Six. If I wanted OP, I wouldn't be posting this thread. I'd make it so he had systems in place to nullify force users' abilities, he'd have armor tough enough to take the blast from a turbolaser, and he'd be insanely fast. The reason this thread is being posted, is because I wanted the community's opinion on how to help make this character work, or if it could work.

Thank you for actually bringing forward several vital statistics that need to be added.

 

[Nor'baal]

My character Amelleous, and even Muular could help with this, as one can make weapons and Nano-tech, and the other is a cyborg himself.

If you get this approved, I can help.

 

[Cassanova]

I think some folk you could talk to, in particular, would be Kylaen, as his Jedi Master was approved with several augmented implants upon the character's inception. I'm not sure if they're quite as extensive as this one.

Added to that; talk to Rom and Kiro (probably Kiro, since Rom is a bit busy lately) and discuss what kind of experiments and augments the Sith Imperium would host on a prisoner.

As far as the tech itself is concerned, when you're talking about the auto-repair functions thats one of the biggest problems with the concept. You need to be specific. Is this auto-repair function akin to "Wolverine-esque" healing prowess (I know you mentioned it wasn't the regrowth of limbs), the accelerated healing provided by Force Heal (eg. a broken arm takes 1 week instead of 6 weeks), or a standard healing process?

 

[Nor'baal]

It would make sense if it was some form of nano-gene tech, however, be aware this project would take ages to come to fruition, and things would go wrong throughout (making a nigh-unstoppable solider is hard!)

 

[ShadowWalker]

As far as the tech itself is concerned, when you're talking about the auto-repair functions thats one of the biggest problems with the concept. You need to be specific. Is this auto-repair function akin to "Wolverine-esque" healing prowess (I know you mentioned it wasn't the regrowth of limbs), the accelerated healing provided by Force Heal (eg. a broken arm takes 1 week instead of 6 weeks), or a standard healing process?

Uhmm... the answer to that is none of the above. Instead he would only be able to heal minor things (which will be put forth in new edit), and only when gets a fresh dosage or actually charged into his docket. And I do believe that the tone of Kiro's last post about this subject suggests that he was quite annoyed, if not thoroughly pissed about such an idea. I would ask him, but I feel like asking something like that of him wouldn't do anything but elicit an extremely pissed off response. But I shall take your advice Cass, you have more experience here than I.

 

[Cassanova]

Side note; Kiro's a she.

She was actually more pissed that you had taken the liberty to state what the Imperials had created, without (at minimum) asking the Faction Leadership what was going on with that - or to see if there were any existing programs happening that you could have your character slot into. As she said in the Armour thread, what you had done is just take a picture from a cool game and try to make it uber for use here.

And 'sides. If she gets grouchy and unnessecarily hostile, just report her to the admins. ;)

 

[ShadowWalker]

I used "he" as objective. And as for the leadership part I talked to Weiss about it, and he was saying that as long as it cleared with Vencu, he was fine with it.

 

[Wit]

Force Multiplier

Class - utility advancement/make shift weapon.

Appearance - smaller fins that have a triangular pyramid shape angled at a forty five degrees above parallel with his fore arm and the same on his calves of the armor. Small exits at the rear of these pyramids provide necessary conduits for energy.

Function: Utilized in conjunction with the muscle monomer system, when activated, sends an electrical charge through the specified appendage to increase the strength and speed of that body part for the duration of the expenditure, then, small jets take in surround air and force it through the system to generate added force to push the appendage with greater force. Utilizing the physical properties of Impulses ie (Power = Force x Time) the jets are made to utilize less force, and more time, activating in for half second intervals as the charge goes through the body part for whatever activity that is occurring (climbing, wall running, or aerial redirection). They also utilize their shape to generate much more air resistance in mid air, causing the amount of friction, and there fore, reaction force during redirection maneuvers to generate much more output than the standard jets alone. When added with the properties of fluid dynamics (of which air is a fluid), allows such a tool to become a weapon. By redirecting the small jets to face forward, and sending similar pulses through them as the appendage (usually an arm) allows for the user to through a punch through the air, generating minimal air resistance, but the force multipliers sending small but powerful jets of air through them making the amount of force through the air multiply ten fold. Then when the relatively small air generates a vacuum which would obviously be refilled by the surrounding air rather quickly, generating a wave of energy through the air that is comparable to a strong gust of wind.

It just seems to me that you're trying to force this through by using concepts you know very little about. Firstly, Power = Force*Velocity. Velocity, not time. That means if your force is less you will need more speed to get the same result, and how will you get that better speed come from? Some amount of initial force you applied, so once more you need more force. And on top of that you start off "Utilizing the physical properties of Impulses" and then put up a wrong formula for power and never really explain what properties of impulses you are using and how. Same with how you just say "properties of fluid dynamics" turn it into a weapon. What properties, and how do they turn it into a weapon? There are many properties of a fluid, which one and how are you using here? If you're going to throw in actual scientific terms to create something here then explain it properly. Oh and regarding this line "They also utilize their shape to generate much more air resistance in mid air, causing the amount of friction, and there fore, reaction force during redirection maneuvers to generate much more output than the standard jets alone." The friction would also slow down the arm, that's what friction dose, so you would then need more force to overcome the retarding effect of friction and maintain the same speed, thereby adding another drain on your suit, or you don't exert that extra force and see your arm get slowed down by the friction. There are more problems, but I'm lazy and I think you must be getting my point that this needs more work if you want it to be accepted.

As for the power draw. It is considerable. Now let's say we have ten applicators per arm and leg. And that each applicator exerts enough energy with a half second burst to equal ohh I don't know, how about one Newton. That is ten more Newtons of force overall, but then put together what it would cost to have just one Newton of force put into that applicator. I'd give a power ratio for every Newton of force generated, it would cost the system, a relatively small amount of energy. But, ten newtons of force is nowhere near enough to allow for a clawed arm, or armored boot to breach or even dent about 3/4 inch Durasteel. So, we're looking about 30 Newtons of energy through each applicator, and if you do the math, that is thirty times as much energy needed to run it for just one applicator. And then you multiply that by ten, you get 300 Newtons of added force, and an already considerable power draw. Then you must add in the required energy to make the monomer muscle structure able to move much more quickly than it normally would, with considerably much more force, and the power draw becomes pretty damn significant. Now, that means that for something like this to not kill or shut down the cyborg's system, he'd have to use it in bursts to allow his power supply to recover correct? Moving on.

Why is this section even there, you're just using sloppy physics to try and prove what is already known, using everything at once will drain out his power supply in seconds. And just so you know, force alone means nothing when you're talking about cutting ability. 30 Newtons applied on a durasteel wall over an area like the palm of my hand might not cut it, but concentrate that force onto a microscopic point and it will shred the wall to smithereens. Pressure is where the party's at my friend, pressure, force per unit area. Oh and your total drain would be 1200 newtons, not 300, you starting assumption was 10 applicators per arm and leg, so that 40 applicators. 40*30=1200.

On Board auto Repair function

Class - light utility/survivalist function

Appearance - small green light on the back of the cyborg, approximately three to four inches away from the "spinal cord"

Function - While a little self explanatory, I do believe several members managed to blow this out of proportion. He will not regrow, or reattach limbs with a snap of his fingers. In fact, this won't really do much at all. Inside is a small set of two very small, and very agile nanomachines. Their abilities are extremely limited to spot welding stress fractures, repairing torn monomer, sealing a ruptured or damaged part (albeit haphazardly if it is one of the more sensitive parts), and repairing damaged electrical systems. He cannot reattach a severed limb with just this Auto Repair function, he cannot repair or replace an entire armor plate that has been either cut or blown off. He can't replace the side of his head with them. It is extremely limited to light, and less delicate repairs.

Sealing a damaged part in my opinion will not be possible, sealing will require some sort of sealant. That sealant can't be created out of thin air, your nanotech will be forced to use material from the surrounding regions to create the seal, not only performing an imperfect seal but also weakening the surrounding area.

 

[ShadowWalker]

It just seems to me that you're trying to force this through by using concepts you know very little about. Firstly, Power = Force*Velocity. Velocity, not time. That means if your force is less you will need more speed to get the same result, and how will you get that better speed come from? Some amount of initial force you applied, so once more you need more force. And on top of that you start off "Utilizing the physical properties of Impulses" and then put up a wrong formula for power and never really explain what properties of impulses you are using and how. Same with how you just say "properties of fluid dynamics" turn it into a weapon. What properties, and how do they turn it into a weapon? There are many properties of a fluid, which one and how are you using here? If you're going to throw in actual scientific terms to create something here then explain it properly. Oh and regarding this line "They also utilize their shape to generate much more air resistance in mid air, causing the amount of friction, and there fore, reaction force during redirection maneuvers to generate much more output than the standard jets alone." The friction would also slow down the arm, that's what friction dose, so you would then need more force to overcome the retarding effect of friction and maintain the same speed, thereby adding another drain on your suit, or you don't exert that extra force and see your arm get slowed down by the friction. There are more problems, but I'm lazy and I think you must be getting my point that this needs more work if you want it to be accepted.


Why is this section even there, you're just using sloppy physics to try and prove what is already known, using everything at once will drain out his power supply in seconds. And just so you know, force alone means nothing when you're talking about cutting ability. 30 Newtons applied on a durasteel wall over an area like the palm of my hand might not cut it, but concentrate that force onto a microscopic point and it will shred the wall to smithereens. Pressure is where the party's at my friend, pressure, force per unit area. Oh and your total drain would be 1200 newtons, not 300, you starting assumption was 10 applicators per arm and leg, so that 40 applicators. 40*30=1200.


Sealing a damaged part in my opinion will not be possible, sealing will require some sort of sealant. That sealant can't be created out of thin air, your nanotech will be forced to use material from the surrounding regions to create the seal, not only performing an imperfect seal but also weakening the surrounding area.

Okay on the first point, we are not talking the same concepts of physics. You are talking about power, and I am talking about impulses. An Impulse is the measured effect of a force on an object, over time. It is calculated by using force multiplied by time. That was the basis of my calculations for the force applications. As for power draw, I know that, and have addressed that concern above and will be editing the profile when I get the chance. And as for the last bit about the auto repair systems, it would only be able to seal something, by spot welding it together, which means if it's anything flamable (like the fuel in the fuel cells, or other key components) the bots will not touch that system, period.

Now you have presented several key criticisms and I understand those arguements, my only question is what is what is your suggestion to fix said problems?

 

[ShadowWalker]

Ah dammit, I used velocity when I should have said power, it's too late at night tonight.

 

[Wit]

Okay on the first point, we are not talking the same concepts of physics. You are talking about power, and I am talking about impulses. An Impulse is the measured effect of a force on an object, over time. It is calculated by using force multiplied by time. That was the basis of my calculations for the force applications. As for power draw, I know that, and have addressed that concern above and will be editing the profile when I get the chance. And as for the last bit about the auto repair systems, it would only be able to seal something, by spot welding it together, which means if it's anything flamable (like the fuel in the fuel cells, or other key components) the bots will not touch that system, period.

Now you have presented several key criticisms and I understand those arguements, my only question is what is what is your suggestion to fix said problems?

Dude, I know what impulse is, you wrote power in the formula so I explained on the basis of that. My suggestion, explain the whole jets thingy in more detail, its very confusing and not all that clear right now. And what about the friction aspect, that will not work as s force multiplier. And also ,the spot welding will need material, you don't just weld something together with a hot flame, you use some material that is melted by that heat and settles in to fill in the gap you want welded. They will need additional material to spotweld anything, and the only source I can think of is taking materials from his surrounding body parts. But if you use that then the heat to melt them for welding will also effect his other body parts, them being the same stuff, and ruin his entire internal constitution. Won't work.

I don't know what to suggest man, this seems like something that would fit more in an anime or a video game, self repair, creating sir pulses with punches, doesn't seem to fit in all that much in a star wars setting.

 

[Cassanova]

This seems like something that would fit more in an anime or a video game, self repair, creating sir pulses with punches, doesn't seem to fit in all that much in a star wars setting.

This ^

 

[ShadowWalker]

So self repair is out

 

[ShadowWalker]

Give me some time to amend the profile

 

[ShadowWalker]

Profile has been updated to reflex changes so far. Would appreciate further feed back.

 

[Cassanova]

Force multiplier?
You've got to be ****ing kidding me dude.

 

[Kiro]

ShadowWalker. What you have here is the exact same obscene four letter word that got so much flak in the Tech approval boards, from me included, that you decided to scrap it.

And you still want people's input on it all, and have gotten two full pages of: No. And reasonable explanations of why.

I can tell you the same thing as I told you in the tech boards: It will not be approved.

Not unless you do some exceptionally radical redesigning and rethinking of the entire concept behind it.

 

[Clayton]

Ok, you want an honest critique? *puts tech hat on*

COMPOSITION AND APPEARANCE:
6'4" cyborg body, silver eyes. His new body is in the perfect example of what a human should be at the age of 26, with plenty of muscle mass. His skin is very human like, made of a synthesized compound that mimics the elasticity, and color of skin, while also being just as durable, if not more so. His hair has a sickly look to it, being synthetic and white. When his skin covering is off and his armor plates are on, his body is matte black, his arms having synthetic bundles of muscle tissue to replace the actual muscle tissue, and with completely artificial joints, digits, and everything else. What dominates his appearance outside of his artificial skin, is the long and menacing modified Vibro Sword with a Cortosis alloy that makes it able to cut through most materials with its ultra high frequency vibrations plus its strength, not to mention able to duel with lightsabers. He carries blaster rifle over his back as well, right underneath the sheath for his vibro sword.

Ok, good descriptions, I like it; I can imagine how he looks pretty easily even without the photo. But I've noticed a couple things:

1) The skin. You want it possibly more durable than human skin? It either is or isn't. Ambiguity in tech is a really poor idea as it leads to somewhere down the road somebody taking advantage of that and saying "oh, well, it never said it wasn't like this." If you want it to have slightly better protection, then how? Is it less thermally conductive? Tougher to cut?

2) Cortosis does not work that way. Yes, it adds resistance to lightsabers but does not make it immune. The blade would likely fail in a prolonged fight. Cortosis is also brittle, so you're weakening the blade itself by making it a cortosis alloy. Not the best thing to be banging it around. Cortosis also doesn't make it sharper or easier to cut through stuff. The vibrosword part might, that's the basics of how vibroblades work, but Cortosis wouldn't increase that ability at all.

PERSONALITY:
James is a character that is full of hate. He hates Jedi, the Alliance, and due to the Virtual Reality life that he lived for the last four years, he fervently believes that he is human. He is arrogant, but also quite intelligent. His intelligence stems from all of the "schooling" he received while in his Virtual Reality life, but his cunning is quite natural. He is one that loves the chase, of hunting down his prey, and getting them to fear him. He also takes much joy in taunting them, preferring to drive them into a angry haze which blinds them, rather than his which he believes enhances his senses, gives him strength. His pride is massive, and stems from what he believes is his natural abilities and strength.

So he's like a replicant from Blade Runner? How does he deal with the fact that he doesn't bleed? Is he programmed to ignore that kind of stuff? Rather than his what? I'm assuming there was some sort of typing glitch there as something seems to have been left out.

LIKES AND DISLIKES:
James loves hunting whatever his superiors puts in front of him as prey. But his favorite kind of prey is Alliance troops, or what he hopes to go after soon is Jedi. He also likes the Sith as he thinks they stand for order and strength. What he hates though, is the Alliance, the Jedi, for what they did to him in his "life" in the Virtual Reality. He also hates most other people, as he has preconceptions that they all hate him, and say things about him behind his back. But most of all, he hates losing. He absolutely hates losing to anyone.

Super competitive, eh? Fair motivations. Is there anything else he likes or dislikes? Competition and paranoia make for an, unfortunately, flat character. Round him out with something. He's not human, but his programming is obviously quite advanced. He'd have the most boring life in the galaxy otherwise.

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:
James strengths are naturally his strength with his body, and ability to fight with his sword and blasters. Another strength that he has is his rage, as it grants him the ability to fight much longer, and with much greater ferocity than most warriors on the battlefield. He also has a natural cunning and intelligence that is enhanced by his cybernetic augmentation that he doesn't realize is true about him.


His weaknesses is also, his rage. It comes up quickly, and he can hardly control it. He also is extremely hard on himself for every loss, and every failure that he has experienced. But his major weakness, is what he believes is true. He absolutely believes that he is completely human, and to convince him of other wise would be difficult, but once he realizes something like that, his psyche, everything about him will fall apart. He won't know how to handle it, and will completely fall apart. Another, quite obvious weakness is that his cybernetic body is not completely hardened against EMP strikes, only vital systems that are keeping him alive. Everything else is vulnerable.

Rage seems to me like it would be a weakness as well, but not for the reason you made. I don't see how it would make him fight longer. If he's fighting with greater ferocity due to his rage, then he is fighting with more ferocity than he would when he is level-headed, which means he would tire out faster rather than last longer. Rage-fueled determination might be his "just one more step" kind of thing, but then he would be weakening as he's pushing himself to continue. He'd be basically spending a greater amount of energy in a shorter amount of time, and then a lesser amount as time increases. Plus it gives you something to think about and makes the PC seem more realistic than "rrraaaagh, he's fighting for longer and stronger than you because he's angry. Therefore he's going to win." I'm not saying you specifically would do that, but somebody would.

BIOGRAPHY:
James was a little street rat that lived on the streets of Nar Shadaa. He had a knack of surviving by stealing food from local vendors. He lived like this for eight years By simple luck of the draw, he was kidnapped at the age of 12, and sent to a Sith facility. His brain and spinal cord was surgically removed, and he was placed into a Virtual Reality for four years, but to him, it had seemed like it was thirteen.

It was there that he began a strict regime of good supportive parents with obvious loyalty to the Sith, school yard bullying for the way he looked and acted, and several incidents where the Alliance slaughtered all the “friends” that the system generated for him. This would continue as the system moved him from “family” to “family” until finally, he was virtually old enough to join the military. It was then he signed up voluntarily, and then when it was suggested that he volunteer for a new experimental program, to become an assassin of great strength and power, so that he could wreak destruction and havoc. The others he saw that were joining the Alliance, even his system generated “friends” hated him for joining the Sith. So he learned to hate them back. His “instructors” informed him to be ready to use his hatred to become stronger.

So James learned to hate them with everything he had. To get revenge, he subjected himself to the training to become an assassin. He learned how to kill, how to fight, how to shoot. Whenever he was put into a combat simulation, the doctors would put him to sleep, saying they had to put on his advanced armor which was extremely hard to begin with, and would be nigh impossible with him awake. What they really did was change the simulation to simulate his actual body without the skin covering and the added plates for his armor. For what seemed to be thirteen years to the boy, really took four. He learned to master the blade so he could fight Jedi, and blasters so he could fight regular troops. Whenever the training simulation was over, he get to the end where the doctors would tell him that he'd have to go back to sleep in order to get the armor off, which would really, be them putting the skin covering back on.

When he finally awoke from the VR room, and the brain was put into his cybernetic body, he didn't suspect anything. Now, all James is waiting for, is for his master to send him after his first target. He practices with his blade, and blasters, and the doctors have seen that the Virtual Reality training has done wonders for James, him continuing to have such ability with his weapons even in real life. His abilities mirror that of someone who was trained for ten years under the most skilled and harsh of trainers, which to this day have scientists wondering if such a project was just a fluke, or if there is actually a way to repeat such a project to get similar if not better results.

So why is he in the matrix as opposed to an actual training program? Why did the Sith choose him? It seems like a pretty complicated and expensive method of brainwashing when they could just insert some coding telling him the Sith are the right choice; that would do the same job.

Orion Class Combat Armor

Class - Armor/Light

Appearance - See picture above

Function - Combat covering that comes in two layers. The "skin" which is polyfibe with durasteel woven into to help with strength, and to protect against smaller caliber blaster pistols. Against medium type blasters, rifles and sniper rifles, the armor is paltry, hardly helping at close range, and being moderately effective at ranges. For heavy type blasters, it is minimally effective at range, and non-existent at close range. The skin has a neuranium coating to make it more stealthy, and make scanning underneath the armor nigh impossible. To provide added protection to major components, several plates of a phrik/durasteel alloy have been placed at key points, on upper torso, forearms, calves/shins, and shoulders. The alloy is 30% phrik, and 70% durasteel, to help make it lighter and more durable, but also, more cost efficient.

1) neuranium is ridiculously dense. It's the densest material known. It noticeably bends spacetime around it. It's also stupid heavy because of it's density. I don't see how this would classify as light armor with all the neuranium (even if it is a coating) and the durasteel.

2) Phrik is very expensive, so it wouldn't be cost efficient.

Then there are the "fins" that are located at key points along the shoulders, along the fore arm, and upper arm. These fins are two centimeters in length, and vary in length to try off the most protection to the operator from melee weapons, or more specifically, light sabers. The alloy that these are formed of is a solution (50/50) of Phrik/Durasteel with a Cortosis coating on the end to try and have an added protection. Tests have shown that the fins are moderately effective, and fit their design specifications perfectly. The ones at the shoulder, and upper arms are not designed to deflect repeated hammer blows from a lightsaber, and have shown that after one or two strikes, these plates fail. The ones at the fore arm are considerably thicker, at 2 cm at the base, and with two of them in the same location allowing the fins have more durability, and tests have shown that should the operator become disarmed, these make excellent last resort defense options. However, with repeated hammer blows, they will only last twice as long as the shoulder and upper arm fins do, so about after the fourth strike, the fins usually fail.

This is a good idea, but at the same time they are going to need almost constant repair because they're going to be taking the brunt of a strike on a thin surface, so they will chip if hit hard enough. And with repeated repairs, their integrity will weaken unless your have an entirely new pauldron or something forged. Still, an interesting way to keep the main armor piece from being damaged at first. But in the long run, not highly practical.

Another added utility on the armor, is the grappling claws located on the hands. To insure maximum durability and life span, plus strength, these are pure phrik. Combined with the Force multiplier aspect of the forearms, and calves, and these grappling claws can be used to cut and latch onto durasteel walls, giving the operator the ability to climb on just about any surface. It also makes these claws potent weapons, being able to cut through most tissues with ease, and allowing them to be used as infiltrators tools for other applications.

What in the everloving FSM is a force multiplier?

Also, you're basically shooting a piton into a durasteel wall, right? That's not exactly the stealthiest way to infiltrate somewhere.

Force Multiplier

Class - utility for climbing

Appearance - smaller fins that have a triangular pyramid shape angled at a forty five degrees above parallel with his fore arm and the same on his calves of the armor. Small exits at the rear of these pyramids provide necessary conduits for energy.

Function: Utilized in conjunction with the muscle monomer system, when activated, sends an electrical charge through the specified appendage to increase the strength and speed of that body part for the duration of the expenditure, then, small jets take in surround air and force it through the system to generate added force to push the appendage with greater force. Utilizing the physical properties of Impulses ie (Power = Force x Time) the jets are made to utilize less force, and more time, activating in for half second intervals as the charge goes through the body part for whatever activity that is occurring (climbing or wall running).

As for the power draw. It is considerable. Now let's say we have ten applicators per arm and leg. And that each applicator exerts enough energy with a half second burst to equal ohh I don't know, how about one Newton. That is ten more Newtons of force overall, but then put together what it would cost to have just one Newton of force put into that applicator. I'd give a power ratio for every Newton of force generated, it would cost the system, a relatively small amount of energy. But, ten newtons of force is nowhere near enough to allow for a clawed arm, or armored boot to breach or even dent about 3/4 inch Durasteel. So, we're looking about 30 Newtons of energy through each applicator, and if you do the math, that is thirty times as much energy needed to run it for just one applicator. And then you multiply that by ten, you get 300 Newtons of added force, and an already considerable power draw. Then you must add in the required energy to make the monomer muscle structure able to move much more quickly than it normally would, with considerably much more force, and the power draw becomes pretty damn significant. Now, that means that for something like this to not kill or shut down the cyborg's system, he'd have to use it in bursts to allow his power supply to recover correct? Moving on.

These are tiny engines, very tiny if you expect to have 5 of them on an arm. And holy FSM they would be expensive as all hell if you want them to be so powerful AND so tiny. Powered armor would be more practical, IMHO. And I have a feeling that if they got fried by an ion weapon, they would be prohibitively expensive to replace. (tiny engines means tiny and fragile electronics and parts)

Biological fuel (which for simplicity's sake, I referred to as a serum, being it is liquid mixture of many complex compounds) - Highly Pressurized and concentrated solution mix between Deuterium (the stabilizer and added fuel), Na3, Cl2, and massive amounts of proteins all inside in the mix making it an extremely powerful, and potent energy solution for the fuel cells located next to his spine. This is synthesized synthetically onboard a ship's medical wing from chemicals, though a not very efficient replacement can be harvested from biological blood.

How do the proteins add anything to the fuel? I'm really wanting to know this because otherwise it's "because magic", which won't work here.


You want my honest opinion? This seems to me like a PC to powergame with even though anyone with a simple ion pistol should be able to one-shot your PC, or break your extremely expensive, complex armor. Ion weaknesses should be addressed. I don't mean address as in fix it, I mean it as show how weak he would be to it.

You have an extreme amount of complicated, expensive strengths, and TWO listed weakness. Those weaknesses are "he gets mad easily, but that rage makes him fight longer/stronger" and EMP, which is different from ion weaponry.