- Joined
- Nov 28, 2010
- Messages
- 8,299
- Reaction score
- 1,951
- Staff
- #1
Claire Delisle
AGE: 21
SPECIES: Human
GENDER: Female
FACTION: Jedi Army
RANK: Knight
ROLE: Temple Guardian
HEIGHT: 5'7
WEIGHT: 115 pounds
EYE COLOR: Light Blue
HAIR COLOR: Dirty Blonde
CHARACTER SUMMARY:
Smuggled out from under the nose of the Sith, Claire Delisle should of been something else entirely. Knowing this, she sympathizes with anyone who was not as fortunate. Sith, imperial soldiers, even criminals, she understands that they may have been set upon a path simply due to circumstance and does not hold any contempt for them. No matter how far they travel down that path, how evil, twisted or void of emotion they seem. However, she shows no mercy to them in combat; in fact she will always opt to kill if she is not ordered to stop.
In her eyes, redemption is too dangerous. They might change their ways for a time, but she believes they will ultimately succumb to temptation. This belief makes her exceptionally focused in combat as she's never worried about capture, only on eliminating her targets.
Though faithful, resilient and relatively laid back—while outside of combat—she still secretly struggles with the lingering feeling of displacement from not only her past, but the ongoing war. She clings to those with passion and determination—those who uplift her—to help with the inner turmoil.
Journal Entries
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I have told the story of my journey to myself so many times. That story is important to me for many reasons—not least of which is the fact that I was saved from a path of darkness. However, one of the most important elements of my story is the fact that the man who told it to me originally, well he may not have known the truth.
Who I am could be based off a story of fiction, yet I, deep down, believe it to be true. Something tells me it is.
I distinctly remember that on more than one occasion he had to admit that he didn't have an answer. But he didn't stop there. He always followed up with, "but one day you may find it on your own." This answer taught me two things that have greatly impacted my walk as a Jedi.
First, I learned that I didn't need all the answers right away.
Second, I learned that faith can withstand a great deal.
From what he told me, I was created from a relationship that could of been consensual. After all, the Sith hold a lot of power over those within their webs. Getting close to one might sound dangerous, but perhaps it was a way for my mother to further some unknown ambitions. But... that's something I tell myself because it's better than the other option.
Unfortunately, the other option makes more sense since it was her that had me smuggled out of Sith space. I suspect she suffered consequences for that choice; a part I cannot allow myself to linger on.
She sent me away with little more than the clothing on my back. The people who smuggled me knew that I was Force sensitive and spent a great many days finding a Jedi to hand me off to. They found my storyteller.
Too young at the time to understand what happened, I grew up most of my life fairly happy and oblivious. Dantooine is a place of beauty. A walk through the thickest brush near the old temple was marked by the roaring sound of falling water, the bubble of the small creeks, and the colorful bloom of wildflowers in the warm season. I found myself exploring nature more and more as I approached adulthood.
I had no trouble fitting in with the other students. Perhaps I was too laid back about most of my studies. Nothing really excited me except for training in various lightsaber forms. It's still strange to me that I've always favored the aggressive ones—Juyo and Djem So—which is in stark contrast to my personalty.
Days before the fall of Tython I learned my story. While I like to think my storyteller stopped at the temple to check up on me, chances are it was the will of the Force that brought us together again.
It was him that guided me through the chaos that ensued after the fall of Tython. That's another story entirely, and for now my mind is still reeling from how his story ended.
I should rest.
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I loved you.
You'd laugh at me if you opened up my journal and those were the first words you read, but I cannot fathom starting with anything else. This entry is an attempt to find peace; to finally begin the unthinkable process of healing and accepting that you're gone. I hope for strength to bear this ordeal through.
In reality we spent so little time together... yet when I close my eyes, I can almost feel the warmth of your body near mine. I can still hear the sound of your reassuring voice. You're almost here—but you cannot make yourself visible to me.
It hurts.
When I was a child, I laid on the ground and closed my eyes. Sunshine splashed over my face. Grass softened the ground beneath me, cradling me with it's scent. There was a bird that flew above, and in that moment it was like it's wings brushed across my face and carried my consciousness into the clouds with it. Everything was quiet, still in a way it had never been before. I could feel the poetry of the world and now that same verse has to surround you.
The thought of you must uplift me, bring me to a place of comfort. It has to, and if it doesn't...
If you were here you'd brush away the tears, settle your hand on my cheek and smile. I'd grab your hand. Tightly entwine fingers and pull you close. Sinful friction of cloth covering soft, delicate skin.
Tonight I drown in my thoughts of you. It must be the last. My life will be refocused, narrowed down to duties that navigate me through the waves. To land where I can breath for more than a few heartbeats. Land free from the shackles of the Empire.
This is my goodbye. I'll honor your memory.
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My transition into temple guardian-hood has been, to say the least, interesting. However that is not what this entry is about, even if that focus and relief is what allows me to write this. Today I finally tell part of a story that nearly broke me—a wisp of it. Writing this may bring my heart a hair's breadth away from falling back into that pain. Perhaps, through time, the memories I write will live only in this journal.
So many events lead up to this point. Starting this story at a dance might seem silly to anyone who reads this... it is certainly bizarre to think that it was the pivotal point where I realized that something was about to break.
They were ridiculous. Clothed in opulent dresses frilled from hem to three times the widths of their girth, dancing circles around each other for the entertainment of men. But the hairs on the back of my neck prickled at the sight of them. Some voice inside warned me... I didn't belong there.
Yet Jesse did not flinch even as my heart quickened and my emotions rapidly turned to uncertainty. Always so foolishly confident in his choices. Perhaps that's what charmed me most about him. Brash, confident... a failed leader.
I assume he wanted to expose me to a life he thought we could have together. A lackadaisical life of luxury, where a persons only fight was against boredom.
Three nights before he admitted that he was considering leaving the army and abandoning the name... doing nothing as the galaxy burned under the wrath of the Empire. Part of me couldn't hold the thoughts against him; I knew what haunted him every time he closed his eyes. And the responsibility he bared for it.
At one point he grabbed my hand and lead me up a tower, to a overhang. Up there in the wind and light I could see beyond the city—across flatland's that faded into the distance and slid over the round edge of the horizon.
That night we stood at the precipice, gazing off the edge together. He was so calm, but nothing could of prepared me for what would come next...
I cannot bring myself to put that part into words. Not yet, perhaps never, but will it free me?
Other Information
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ON BELT:
Phirk Single-bladed Lightsaber(s)x2, Blue
SA-21 "Sunspear" Heavy Blaster Pistol (1 extra clip)
MZ-99x2
EMPx2
ARMOUR:
Modified Guardian Armor similar to the Modular Jedi Armor, with Phirk Gauntlets.
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Searching For Clarity - Joining the Temple Guard on Onderon.
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