Thur'hars was very new to the Jedi Order, having joined only a few weeks ago. For some reason that occasionally nagged at him, the Masters at Coruscant saw fit to send him here...to Empress Teta. He thought it was strange they would send an Initiate so far before he could even get a chance to understand anything about the Jedi other than that they were great wielders of the Force.
However, once he had arrived he was enlightened to the answer: The Jedi had seen in him what he hoped to strive for. Perhaps they had even seen what he hides, but it was inconsequential at this point because as he sat in the Archives at the temple, going through the history of Empress Teta and the Sages he knew they saw his inner fight and the drive to find peace, not only in himself, but in the galaxy at large.
He had already had the introduction, the walk around and fancy showing of the temple grounds and much of the surrounding area. He had been shown to his quarters, and had even stumbled his way into a class once or twice. The Jedi here were gracious in accepting his apologies and forgiving the intrusion. It was a little unlike him to be so disoriented and walk aimlessly, but something set his mind more at ease than he was used to...than he liked.
After the last time he stumbled into a Jedi Master, however, he straightened himself out and determined that he would keep his mind focused. Busy would usually mean out of trouble. So he went on with his usual manner of paying attention to his surroundings without absorbing them in a state of awe, keeping more to himself.
It was still the first day here and he had managed to find the archives without needing to be given a second courtesy tour. It was actually easy once he started listening in on subsonic noises that he thought would be typical of a computerized network that might make up the Archives. The only thing that surprised him by the time he'd arrived was that he hadn't gotten side-tracked with compassionate actions. The creatures here seemed more content, although some were in desperate need of discipline, to be fair.
He wasn't the least surprised when a Cathar tried to make racial remarks about the Codru-Ji. He even managed to set the tone by responding about how he "respected her thoughts on the matter, but should remember that they are both of a more beastial, near-human race and share many qualities that other races might not understand" - something he had learned on some far off space station between Munto Codru and Coruscant. He wasn't sure what surprised her more; his politeness about the situation, or the unusual display of patience in a Codru Initiate. Didn't matter, he got his chuckle when she stalked off in a manner that made him wonder if he should find a ball of string to toss past her.
He would still, however, reprimand himself for allowing such childish and undisciplined thoughts to be entertained. He was right, though. They were both of a more bestial species and should've been giving each other greater respect. Perhaps he would make up for it if he ran into her again, but first he had to go find out about the actual beliefs of the Jedi.
This had made up the first half of that day and the second was spent in the Archives. He would research a subject about Empress Teta, then find a Master or Knight somewhere in the Archives and ask for clarification. He wasn't slow, just unfamiliar. He actually learned rather quickly. One Knight had even congratulated him on something Thur'hars thought was a simple extrapolation but turned out to be a complex truth. This isn't to say he is a genius, however. He had been in the Archives for nearly three hours at that point.
Nightfall would eventually come and a call for Initiates and Padawans to take their places in their quarters before curfew was started. He, however, ended up awakened at least two times in the night, startling one Knight who thought he was simply staring into nothingness. Thur'hars had to explain how Codru-Ji slept standing upright and while he did not have his harness to keep this position properly, he was still able to sleep in a somewhat leaned position. This conversation would lead to him teaching the young Correllian Knight a few things about his people and then furthered by questions he remembered from what he had been reading when fallen asleep. Somehow it was enough of a distraction that both eventually forgot what the Knight was originally there for.
The Master wasn't distracted so easily, though. Or at least she didn't forget. She answered many questions for the Initiate and, before walking away, warned him to be in his quarters the next time she came by.
Morning would still come to see him seated at the kiosk. He had refused to sleep once his mind had drifted to the actual guidelines of the Jedi. While he felt a sort of fascination at the Jedi Precepts, he felt that they were simple and couldn't see why these things were not simple common practice that had no need to be placed in writing to be remembered. He went through them mentally, placing where he could the applications of such things.
A Jedi avoids taking life? Isn't this something we all strive for? Sure, many will become violent for their own purposes but taking life is almost never an issue. Then again...
At this his mind would wander to the mercenaries that took the lives of his family. He gritted his teeth in anger and pushed the thought past himself in order to continue.
Theft is simple enough. Ownership is a simple idea. I've never understood a thief, even those of the ritual abductors on Munto Codru. Misusing sexuality? Okay, perhaps that should be a written rule, but I still am not sure why people make it that way.
This went on for quite some time as he eventually broke down the Precepts as if he had missed some deep meaning. Inevitably he came to the conclusion he started with: that this was simply common logic in written form, more for those who failed to understand such precepts and lived as thieves, smugglers, or as the entertainers he'd seen at a space station cantina and less for those who already lived a simple moral lifestyle. However, he would still end up retracing his steps to how his people might benefit from such writings. This would also invariably lead to the loss of his family and moments of inward anger followed by the disciplined directness towards his future rather than his past.
He would eventually pass the Precepts and become entranced in the Eight Fold Path. Wisdom, he felt he accentuated in many aspects, though he wondered if this was simply from an arrogant idea stemming from the self-determination and discipline he himself and instilled as far his mental capacity could take him. Wisdom actually challenged him to go back to the Precepts and, rather than denying the necessity of seeing them written, evaluate his entire life and all events he could remember or knew of he had part in. He found little fault after he left Munto Codru, enough to make him wonder but not enough for a more thorough evaluation as of yet. However, he did find that his past before-hand was more an accentuation of how childish and immature he had been before the deaths of his family.
At this point he would take a break, downloading the Eight Fold Path and Precepts to his datapad so as to study from the point he was at later on. He simple had enough of hiding his anger behind his discipline and wished to go out and let his more primal instincts carry him into the hunt of some wild new animal he might find here.
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Again, nightfall would come on the second day. But this time he would not be found leaned against a kiosk in the Archive. As a matter of fact, he was found studying a strange avian creature he had yet to have seen. He watched intently, more to understand how to hunt and catch it than simply to enjoy it. Another Master had found him this time and "stumbled" (as he would recall it) into his hunting ground. Still allowing his primal senses to guide him, Thur'hars ended up lunging at the Master when her presence had scared away the avian creature, causing him to lose his hunt.
Midway through the lunge he snapped back out of the primal hunt instinct and ended up allowing himself to simply tumble past the Master and into some bushes behind her. He swore at himself, angry he let his instinct drive him to attack another being. It was certainly one thing to be caught off guard and react, but another to allow the...animal in him to attack. Thusly he stood apologizing up and down to her for his rude behavior. He would eventually explain himself and be sent away to his quarters by the scowling woman, and he obeyed with as much of a disciplined attitude as he could.
Before sleep on the third night he ended up going back into the Precepts and reviewing the Eight Fold Path section on "Wisdom", almost debasing himself for his behavior towards the Master. He knew that once his instincts took hold he would not be in full control. But he also felt responsible for not trying to snap out as soon as he knew the hunt had been disturbed. He felt guilty, plain and simple. But he would strive for better when the morning came.
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His third day was better for him. He stayed in his quarters to study, speak to himself quietly concerning the Eight Fold Path, and evaluate himself. He only left to get some food into his hungry stomach or to go download something else about the livelihood of the Jedi. Though he would eventually acquire a thesis on "empty self", he would find himself constantly drawn back to the Path. Sometimes more because he could not grasp at what "Empty Self" was supposed to be about, though usually because of his fascination for the Path. It kept him awestruck, occasionally dumb struck, but always enraptured and entertained. For some reason he didn't fully understand, the Eight Fold Path held him like a rancor might hold it's prey before devouring it.
However, nearing the middle of the fourth day a Master came to his door, his face sour with annoyance. It suddenly occurred to Thur'hars, in that moment, that he might actually need to attend a formal class or two and here was a Master who was rather displeased the Codru had missed his first one. Though things momentarily got worse for Thur'hars when the Master entered the room thanks to the clutter about, he found himself on the end of praise. Praise.
This confused the poor Codru-Ji dearly, and he began to wonder of the practices of Twi'lek peoples. This confusion was short lived as the Twi'lek began to read over the datapads that had been strewn about, however it would return when the Twi'lek made mention of how the room seemed to have been cluttered and messed more because the Initiate was "training himself in the Force" than simple slothfulness. Unable to take praise where he found no merit, Thur'hars was quick to inform him that he wasn't sure what the Master was talking about. It was certainly cluttered and a mess, and definitely some force had swept through to create the mess; but the Initiate had not done anything intentional that he knew of.
It was silent for a moment. Much longer than Thur'hars liked. The Twi'lek Master studied him for several long minutes that felt like hours - a somewhat ironic twist considering the previous few days feeling like nothing to him. Then he realized something he had forgotten all about: the lightsaber he had taken from the dead mercenary was still connected to his belt. It suddenly made sense why this man was studying him for so long. He opened his mouth to speak but was stopped short.
"You claim you have no control over the Force, and yet here you stand with a fully made, customized even, lightsaber instead of a training saber. Have you received any training on anything from a single person in the Order?" the Twi'lek asked curiously. It hadn't occurred to Thur'hars how odd it might be that he would have a real lightsaber and no training in how to use it - or the Force for that matter.
"No, Master. I have not. I was sent here the same day I was initiated into the Order on Coruscant. The only things I know about the Jedi come from the Archives. I have yet to have been to a single formal class."
"And so you have spent your time in the Archives learning everything you could about the Jedi in the past...what? Days? on your own, yes? I suppose you have done little else beyond this. It would explain your absence from my class today. The Twi'lek sounded irritated, though far-less seemed to be directed at Thur'hars this time. It seemed more frustration to the lack of guidance.
"Initiate, I have another class that I will be holding this evening on Jedi fundamentals. You will receive a training saber at that class and you are expected to leave the one currently on your belt in this room. Do not let it leave, understood? Clean up your quarters and do not be late."
And so the end of the fourth day, in a class about Jedi fundamentals held by this Twi'lek master, was when Thur'hars began to take heart the meaning of the phrase, "The first steps might seem small, but you will eventually see that you are walking a path that requires larger leaps than you know." It was easy, at first, having the knowledge of the Precepts and Eight Fold Path down pat. But knowledge, as he also learned, is not quite the same as understanding. It taxed his mind greatly. Thur'hars left the class confused in a number of ways, but there was also a small part of him that said he had finally began the journey to the peace he searched for.
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Thread ended from here.
However, once he had arrived he was enlightened to the answer: The Jedi had seen in him what he hoped to strive for. Perhaps they had even seen what he hides, but it was inconsequential at this point because as he sat in the Archives at the temple, going through the history of Empress Teta and the Sages he knew they saw his inner fight and the drive to find peace, not only in himself, but in the galaxy at large.
He had already had the introduction, the walk around and fancy showing of the temple grounds and much of the surrounding area. He had been shown to his quarters, and had even stumbled his way into a class once or twice. The Jedi here were gracious in accepting his apologies and forgiving the intrusion. It was a little unlike him to be so disoriented and walk aimlessly, but something set his mind more at ease than he was used to...than he liked.
After the last time he stumbled into a Jedi Master, however, he straightened himself out and determined that he would keep his mind focused. Busy would usually mean out of trouble. So he went on with his usual manner of paying attention to his surroundings without absorbing them in a state of awe, keeping more to himself.
It was still the first day here and he had managed to find the archives without needing to be given a second courtesy tour. It was actually easy once he started listening in on subsonic noises that he thought would be typical of a computerized network that might make up the Archives. The only thing that surprised him by the time he'd arrived was that he hadn't gotten side-tracked with compassionate actions. The creatures here seemed more content, although some were in desperate need of discipline, to be fair.
He wasn't the least surprised when a Cathar tried to make racial remarks about the Codru-Ji. He even managed to set the tone by responding about how he "respected her thoughts on the matter, but should remember that they are both of a more beastial, near-human race and share many qualities that other races might not understand" - something he had learned on some far off space station between Munto Codru and Coruscant. He wasn't sure what surprised her more; his politeness about the situation, or the unusual display of patience in a Codru Initiate. Didn't matter, he got his chuckle when she stalked off in a manner that made him wonder if he should find a ball of string to toss past her.
He would still, however, reprimand himself for allowing such childish and undisciplined thoughts to be entertained. He was right, though. They were both of a more bestial species and should've been giving each other greater respect. Perhaps he would make up for it if he ran into her again, but first he had to go find out about the actual beliefs of the Jedi.
This had made up the first half of that day and the second was spent in the Archives. He would research a subject about Empress Teta, then find a Master or Knight somewhere in the Archives and ask for clarification. He wasn't slow, just unfamiliar. He actually learned rather quickly. One Knight had even congratulated him on something Thur'hars thought was a simple extrapolation but turned out to be a complex truth. This isn't to say he is a genius, however. He had been in the Archives for nearly three hours at that point.
Nightfall would eventually come and a call for Initiates and Padawans to take their places in their quarters before curfew was started. He, however, ended up awakened at least two times in the night, startling one Knight who thought he was simply staring into nothingness. Thur'hars had to explain how Codru-Ji slept standing upright and while he did not have his harness to keep this position properly, he was still able to sleep in a somewhat leaned position. This conversation would lead to him teaching the young Correllian Knight a few things about his people and then furthered by questions he remembered from what he had been reading when fallen asleep. Somehow it was enough of a distraction that both eventually forgot what the Knight was originally there for.
The Master wasn't distracted so easily, though. Or at least she didn't forget. She answered many questions for the Initiate and, before walking away, warned him to be in his quarters the next time she came by.
Morning would still come to see him seated at the kiosk. He had refused to sleep once his mind had drifted to the actual guidelines of the Jedi. While he felt a sort of fascination at the Jedi Precepts, he felt that they were simple and couldn't see why these things were not simple common practice that had no need to be placed in writing to be remembered. He went through them mentally, placing where he could the applications of such things.
A Jedi avoids taking life? Isn't this something we all strive for? Sure, many will become violent for their own purposes but taking life is almost never an issue. Then again...
At this his mind would wander to the mercenaries that took the lives of his family. He gritted his teeth in anger and pushed the thought past himself in order to continue.
Theft is simple enough. Ownership is a simple idea. I've never understood a thief, even those of the ritual abductors on Munto Codru. Misusing sexuality? Okay, perhaps that should be a written rule, but I still am not sure why people make it that way.
This went on for quite some time as he eventually broke down the Precepts as if he had missed some deep meaning. Inevitably he came to the conclusion he started with: that this was simply common logic in written form, more for those who failed to understand such precepts and lived as thieves, smugglers, or as the entertainers he'd seen at a space station cantina and less for those who already lived a simple moral lifestyle. However, he would still end up retracing his steps to how his people might benefit from such writings. This would also invariably lead to the loss of his family and moments of inward anger followed by the disciplined directness towards his future rather than his past.
He would eventually pass the Precepts and become entranced in the Eight Fold Path. Wisdom, he felt he accentuated in many aspects, though he wondered if this was simply from an arrogant idea stemming from the self-determination and discipline he himself and instilled as far his mental capacity could take him. Wisdom actually challenged him to go back to the Precepts and, rather than denying the necessity of seeing them written, evaluate his entire life and all events he could remember or knew of he had part in. He found little fault after he left Munto Codru, enough to make him wonder but not enough for a more thorough evaluation as of yet. However, he did find that his past before-hand was more an accentuation of how childish and immature he had been before the deaths of his family.
At this point he would take a break, downloading the Eight Fold Path and Precepts to his datapad so as to study from the point he was at later on. He simple had enough of hiding his anger behind his discipline and wished to go out and let his more primal instincts carry him into the hunt of some wild new animal he might find here.
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Again, nightfall would come on the second day. But this time he would not be found leaned against a kiosk in the Archive. As a matter of fact, he was found studying a strange avian creature he had yet to have seen. He watched intently, more to understand how to hunt and catch it than simply to enjoy it. Another Master had found him this time and "stumbled" (as he would recall it) into his hunting ground. Still allowing his primal senses to guide him, Thur'hars ended up lunging at the Master when her presence had scared away the avian creature, causing him to lose his hunt.
Midway through the lunge he snapped back out of the primal hunt instinct and ended up allowing himself to simply tumble past the Master and into some bushes behind her. He swore at himself, angry he let his instinct drive him to attack another being. It was certainly one thing to be caught off guard and react, but another to allow the...animal in him to attack. Thusly he stood apologizing up and down to her for his rude behavior. He would eventually explain himself and be sent away to his quarters by the scowling woman, and he obeyed with as much of a disciplined attitude as he could.
Before sleep on the third night he ended up going back into the Precepts and reviewing the Eight Fold Path section on "Wisdom", almost debasing himself for his behavior towards the Master. He knew that once his instincts took hold he would not be in full control. But he also felt responsible for not trying to snap out as soon as he knew the hunt had been disturbed. He felt guilty, plain and simple. But he would strive for better when the morning came.
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His third day was better for him. He stayed in his quarters to study, speak to himself quietly concerning the Eight Fold Path, and evaluate himself. He only left to get some food into his hungry stomach or to go download something else about the livelihood of the Jedi. Though he would eventually acquire a thesis on "empty self", he would find himself constantly drawn back to the Path. Sometimes more because he could not grasp at what "Empty Self" was supposed to be about, though usually because of his fascination for the Path. It kept him awestruck, occasionally dumb struck, but always enraptured and entertained. For some reason he didn't fully understand, the Eight Fold Path held him like a rancor might hold it's prey before devouring it.
However, nearing the middle of the fourth day a Master came to his door, his face sour with annoyance. It suddenly occurred to Thur'hars, in that moment, that he might actually need to attend a formal class or two and here was a Master who was rather displeased the Codru had missed his first one. Though things momentarily got worse for Thur'hars when the Master entered the room thanks to the clutter about, he found himself on the end of praise. Praise.
This confused the poor Codru-Ji dearly, and he began to wonder of the practices of Twi'lek peoples. This confusion was short lived as the Twi'lek began to read over the datapads that had been strewn about, however it would return when the Twi'lek made mention of how the room seemed to have been cluttered and messed more because the Initiate was "training himself in the Force" than simple slothfulness. Unable to take praise where he found no merit, Thur'hars was quick to inform him that he wasn't sure what the Master was talking about. It was certainly cluttered and a mess, and definitely some force had swept through to create the mess; but the Initiate had not done anything intentional that he knew of.
It was silent for a moment. Much longer than Thur'hars liked. The Twi'lek Master studied him for several long minutes that felt like hours - a somewhat ironic twist considering the previous few days feeling like nothing to him. Then he realized something he had forgotten all about: the lightsaber he had taken from the dead mercenary was still connected to his belt. It suddenly made sense why this man was studying him for so long. He opened his mouth to speak but was stopped short.
"You claim you have no control over the Force, and yet here you stand with a fully made, customized even, lightsaber instead of a training saber. Have you received any training on anything from a single person in the Order?" the Twi'lek asked curiously. It hadn't occurred to Thur'hars how odd it might be that he would have a real lightsaber and no training in how to use it - or the Force for that matter.
"No, Master. I have not. I was sent here the same day I was initiated into the Order on Coruscant. The only things I know about the Jedi come from the Archives. I have yet to have been to a single formal class."
"And so you have spent your time in the Archives learning everything you could about the Jedi in the past...what? Days? on your own, yes? I suppose you have done little else beyond this. It would explain your absence from my class today. The Twi'lek sounded irritated, though far-less seemed to be directed at Thur'hars this time. It seemed more frustration to the lack of guidance.
"Initiate, I have another class that I will be holding this evening on Jedi fundamentals. You will receive a training saber at that class and you are expected to leave the one currently on your belt in this room. Do not let it leave, understood? Clean up your quarters and do not be late."
And so the end of the fourth day, in a class about Jedi fundamentals held by this Twi'lek master, was when Thur'hars began to take heart the meaning of the phrase, "The first steps might seem small, but you will eventually see that you are walking a path that requires larger leaps than you know." It was easy, at first, having the knowledge of the Precepts and Eight Fold Path down pat. But knowledge, as he also learned, is not quite the same as understanding. It taxed his mind greatly. Thur'hars left the class confused in a number of ways, but there was also a small part of him that said he had finally began the journey to the peace he searched for.
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Thread ended from here.