First Character, Any critisms or tips ?

Mitchos

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First Character let us know if he is too edgy or a common trope and I might change it a bit. Cheers
NAME: Calren Icangr

FACTION:

RANK:

SPECIES: Human

AGE: 24

GENDER: Male

FORCE SENSITIVE: Trained

Home World: Corusant

APPEARANCE:

Height: 176 cm

Build: Slim athletic build

Hair: Brown,

Eye colour: blue

Distinguishing features:






PERSONALITY:

To the everyday person Calren is best defined as a friendly if somewhat arrogant individual. To those that have gotten to know him personally will know that he loves of bad puns and perhaps the most reliable friend you could hope for as he will do his best to stay true to his word. To foes Calren is cold and lacking in mercy.

Calren is often at odds with the Jedi order has he believes that they do not do enough to protect the people of the galaxy. His inability to completely control his emotions also adds to the friction between him and the order with the Jedi masters believing that he is too impulsive and potentially too dangerous to be a Jedi Knight. In turn Calren has come to view his inability to separate himself from his emotions as gift strengthen his abilities with the force.

BIOGRAPHY:

Calrens early life in the Jedi Temple was uneventful. He was neither most attentive student nor the most skilled. Throughout his training Calren struggled in controlling his emotions much to the disappointment of his instructors. It was during his time as a Padawan that Calren’s views of Jedi order begun to change viewing the order’s restraint in some matters as a weakness. It was the discovery of a slave ring on Coruscant itself that was the final straw, shocked at the Orders inability to protect those even on the same planet as the Jedi Temple leading to Calren become disillusioned with the order.

Over the last five years Calren has distanced himself from the Jedi Order straying further way from their teachings. With his efforts focused on dismantling criminal organizations such slave rings and pirate’s gangs. Calren uses the money and equipment he takes from these groups to fund his campaign. Driven by his passions despite the instruction he received at the temple, Calren is becoming more reliant on using his emotions to strengthen his use of the force. Every life he had failed to save has only encouraged him to become stronger and his seen him use the powers that may be associated with the dark side.

SKILLS:

Describe the skills that your character possesses, such as marksmanship, swordsmanship, medical knowledge, multilingual, technological expertise, piloting, jazz hands, etc. If the character is Force sensitive, describe the specializations and/or techniques in the Force that the character has learned, detailing the level of mastery of those techniques, along with the level of proficiency in lightsaber combat.



GEAR:

2 Lightsabres: The hilts are simple and practical designed for dueling

Thermal Detonators:

ROLE-PLAYS:







RELATIONSHIPS:

List individuals the character is connected to and what sort of relationship they have, from romantic to familial to friendship to enemies, etc. Please put links to any PCs.





SHIP:

Oceanspray Freighter, modified for combat, Cargo space has also been sacrificed for the living quarters. The ship was a “gift” from a small-time slaver set up shop in the wrong place.

DROIDS:



PETS:

KILLS:



COMBAT:
 

Padmé

niminy-piminy
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A good start. One thing that I would recommend changing- Coruscant Temple and salve bit. Now I realize you're not in tune with our forum lore, thus naturally you'll miss it.

Coruscant temple was bombed. Now we don't deal chronological year approach in our timeline so no one that I can think of can tell you exactly what year them bombing occurred and how many years the temple took to get rebuilt. If they can, GREAT.

Arguably the slave thing occurred in the first place because the Jedi abandoned the temple after it was destroyed. Darn Sithies and their influence .

My suggestion would be to find a different Jedi temple and weave the same slave narrative around it. It'll make it more palpable and believable. IMO.

I can't wait to read how your Jedi hones in on his emotions and etcetera in the RP.

Cheers!
 

Mitchos

SWRP Writer
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Messages
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A good start. One thing that I would recommend changing- Coruscant Temple and salve bit. Now I realize you're not in tune with our forum lore, thus naturally you'll miss it.

Coruscant temple was bombed. Now we don't deal chronological year approach in our timeline so no one that I can think of can tell you exactly what year them bombing occurred and how many years the temple took to get rebuilt. If they can, GREAT.

Arguably the slave thing occurred in the first place because the Jedi abandoned the temple after it was destroyed. Darn Sithies and their influence .

My suggestion would be to find a different Jedi temple and weave the same slave narrative around it. It'll make it more palpable and believable. IMO.

I can't wait to read how your Jedi hones in on his emotions and etcetera in the RP.

Cheers!
Thanks for that, Ill change it up now
 
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