At first, the Jedi's reasoning and wisdom didn't really challenge him. Laeonas could feel a slight tinge of annoyance as it seemed she simply repeated what the texts he'd read had said. Her acknowledgement that he did already know what she was talking about did do a bit to calm him, but the desire for the Jedi's expanded understanding of the force was far to tempting for a boy who lacked in patience to a massive extent.
He had to pause when she made the analogy about swimming in rivers, and the boy's brow furrowed slightly as he listened to her analogy about swimming in a river. Being that Laeonas had never swam in his entire life, and that he had further never seen a river, it was hard to make out what the Jedi was actually trying to prove. He knew water flowed in one direction though, after years of seeing faucets run-- down. If one tried to move upwards through water it would be a fruitless task, but if one used the water to move downwards, they'd move quicker.
The most challenging part of understanding what the Jedi meant was the actual river itself; what was being represented in this analogy? Was it emotion, was it his focus? Was it the force itself? Containing his emotions tended to fail more often than not, and he'd never really considered actively rejecting his focus or his connection to the force.
Laeonas had been about to speak up, but the Jedi had answered. "...oh." Was all he could think in the moment, and he'd simply nod.
Following along, the boy listened to the Jedi's directions and followed them. Meditation was nothing new to the boy, but as the Jedi instructed him, she was describing something different from what he had done. Laeonas' meditations were simple-- he would close his eyes and try to focus on one thing, that being the force around him. Everything else would be cast aside, and he'd experience the force as pure as it could possibly be.
But he'd always found ways to distract himself. Be it the beating of his heart, or his breathing, or the background sounds or the feeling of the air against his skin or the smells that entered his nostrils, something broke his focus. This time, however, his subject wasn't to be the raw power of the force-- it was that material world that he'd tried to look past. His focus wasn't to be on attempting to access the force either, but instead, on one of the very physical aspects that had a tendency to distract him-- his breathing.
He was... reluctant, at first. He'd talked about the relationship between the physical world and the force before with a Jedi, and he'd learned how intertwined the two truly were-- but that hadn't been the idea he'd drilled into his head following years of meditation. For him, the material world and the force were two distinct entities, and focusing on one meant you needed to ignore the other. But he had learned that the force and the material world were still inextricably linked-- which was wisdom that the Jedi was reiterating in her teachings right now.
Following along, Laeonas would do as she said, taking in deep breathes, embracing the calm that began to wash over him as his focus opened up to the force; extending his awareness out in all directions. He'd take in the world around him, sensing all the life in the warehouse, and all that wasn't alive as well. The hum of the ship's hyperdrive outside, and it's other systems, filled his senses as the seconds passed on. The rest of the crew had gone back inside, pacing. He could sense fear, anxiety-- all unsure of what to do, all waiting.
The artifact that the Jedi had found tingled with the powers of the force, ever so slightly pulsing. The many crates in the building were filled with items of all sorts; old weapons, random bits of cargo, and spice, though outdated and not at all fit for consumption. There was life to-- in the rafters, tiny flying creatures flapped around, while in the dark corners of the room, tiny, scurrying animals went about in search of food.
The level of awareness he experienced used to take almost an hour of meditation on his part, but now Laeonas had experienced it in minutes. His own body had felt like it had entered a trance, where he'd been able to maintain his consciousness without consuming nearly as much energy as he would moving around.
Opening his eyes once again, Laeonas would listen to the Jedi's final words. He'd taken in a deep breathe, contemplating everything the Jedi had explained. On some level, it was easy-- ground he'd already tread in many cases, yet in others he had genuinely been given the capacity to improve on his abilities. The last words she'd said-- that he had to truly understand himself-- were something that were up to him entirely though.
"...whaddya even mean by knowin' maeself?" He'd reply, grappling with the final words more than anything else she'd taught him. "Ai know who Ai am-- Ai'm Laeonas Tannaras, bastard of some lord on some coreword planet. What else is there ta know?" He'd ask, genuinely curious.
"Ai already know what Ai want-- Ai want enough credits that me and mae ma can live laike royalty fer our entire lives. That ain't just superficial: it's justice." He firmly explained, pursing his lips before continuing. "Livin' a laife of poverty and destitution after carryin' a babe and raisin' it as yer own warrants a reward, Ai'd say. What better reward is there than gettin' ta live 'ow ya thought ya would-- in a palace?" He suggested, shrugging his shoulders.
"Ai want mae ma to live well-- ta die old and happy, years from now. She deserves it after all she's gone through-- and Ai deserve it to." He'd state, firmer towards the end. "Ai want everyone who looked at me laike a pile of bantha shite ta know that their wants were nothin' ta me. Ai want 'em ta know that Laeonas didn't need em, that Ai only ever needed me ta get where Ai am." He explained, letting out a long, drawn sigh, before glancing at the Jedi with tired eyes. "...and a bit of help."
