Growing Up

[Leandros Solus]

Theme​

”Don’t forget your bedroll!”

Leandros called out to Lily from within the cockpit, focusing on guiding the ship to the starting point of their journey. His mask sat on his own pack beside him, along with the rest of his gear. A hike like this would be perilous and take some time, and he knew that the two of them would need to be prepared. His hands gripped the controls of the ship, his body in tune with the ship; he had been flying it for so long that it became an extension of his physical being, nothing more than an extra appendage. It was ugly, but it got the job done, and that was enough for him. It also held plenty of room for passengers like Lily to do all manner of activities, though most of hers revolved around training with and fighting her dad while their albino badger watched.

”And plenty of food!” he added, smiling to himself. His parental instincts were in overdrive and he needed to make sure that she wasn’t going to become a liability over the next few days. Perhaps he was a bit too overprotective, perhaps not; other than Bubbles, she was the last living legacy Raz had in this world, and he’d be damned if he ever let something ill befall her. His eyes briefly panned to the photo on his center console of their family back before the glassing of Mandalore. He longed for those days, but this was their reality now.

Leandros punched in their landing site coordinates and stood up, letting his co-pilot droid take the ship the rest of the way. Below them the scorched plains of Mandalore passed by in a blur, a grim and barren reminder of what the Sith had done to them. The ship was headed to the clearing by their home, and that is where they would begin their journey to the top of the mountain. That is where their pilgrimage would begin.

His boots echoed with dull metal clangs as he left the cockpit and made his way over to where Lily would be found. The door slid open with a hiss and he stood there, hand resting on the top of the doorway, looking at her.

”We’re going to be gone a while, girl. Make sure you’re ready for the journey,” he said, his voice gruff but his tone coming across as concerned. ”And don’t forget that,” he pointed at her beskad before continuing, ”There’s no telling what’s settled here since… the attack. You can’t be unprepared for wild beasts.” He approached her and kneeled down to be able to look her in the eyes, his expression stern, fatherly.

”Do you know where we’re going?”

@Sreeya

 

[Lily Solus]

She largely ignored her father as he rattled off things to bring. Truth be told, other than the bedroll, she had remembered everything. She even remembered to pack extra change of clothes. Lily had her little pink datapad with stars on it as well, all stuffed in an oversized pack that looked bigger than she was. She huffed and walked back to pick up her bedroll, disappearing for a moment.

She returned after a moment, having latched the roll to the bottom of her pack. Lily was slightly hunched over from the pack, not having done the straps correctly to where it evenly distributed the weight, “Aren’t our people going to wonder where we went?” The question had been burning her mind since he had suggested leaving. He had just declared war on the Jedi and their people would want to move.

“And is there no food where we’re going?” She asked nervously, recalling his various reminders about packing food. When he asked where they were going, she walked towards the windows, seeing the charred grounds below.

“This….this isn’t Mandalore is it, father?” Her eyes widened, fingers curling against the glass. This was nothing like the pictures in her books. She had been very small when the glassing happened, and hadn’t returned since. The only clue that helped her guess was him mentioning an attack.

 

[Leandros Solus]

Leandros watched her huff and puff as she packed her bag, the thing turning out to be almost as big as she was. In time, she’d learn how to pack a ruck on her own, but for now he walked over and began tightening the straps for her in places and loosening them in others so that it wouldn’t be such a total pain to carry. He was willing to carry it for her, but she was getting to the age where she’d be expected to do things on her own, and his paternal instincts screamed against the notion of letting her go off alone. He didn’t think she was ready, and he hoped these next few days would get her to that point.

The sound of fabric sliding against fabric was drowned out by her curiosity, and as Leandros worked to fix her ruck, he answered her questions in order. ”They’ll manage without me,” he said in response to the first question, ”They have other things to worry about.” His curiosity got the better of him and he unbuckled some of the straps to look in her ruck and adjust some things to make it the weight more evenly distributed. While she looked out the window, he rifled through her belongings like the nosy parent he was. Water, extra clothes, hygiene stuff… all of it was pretty standard, if haphazardly sorted, and he got to work rearranging all of it.

A small mound at the bottom of her ruck revealed the culprit for why her belongings were so randomly thrown in there. Reaching down and pulling up a bag of extra snack veggies, Leandros would turn his head to regard his daughter for a moment. Eventually, he smiled and shook his head, placing the bag back into the ruck. Raz used to pack him small snack baggies of vegetables, and sometimes he forgot just how much influence she had over his life now, even from beyond the grave. He slid a hand into a side pouch on his person and plucked a small candy bar, tossing it in the bag as a surprise, opting to not tell her about the addition. As he did so, he’d answer her second question with a patronizing, ”Don’t worry about whether or not there’ll be food where we’re going and worry instead about how you’ll carry all this weight. You’ve got half your weight in carrots in here.”

Leandros pushed against his knee as he stood up, satisfied with Lily’s ruck, and walked over to the window beside her. ”It is,” he said curtly in response to her final question. It was all that had to be said for the time being. After a while, the ship set down in the clearing where he held his rally. Dust and ash kicked up and coated the ship, obfuscating the outside in a great cloud. He strode out of the room without a word, heading for the cockpit to grab his own ruck.

He made his way to the exit ramp, all geared up and ready to go. He wore his mask now and steeled himself for another return to their home. ”Come on, girl,” he called out as the ramp extended, ”And bring your training helmet with your gear. It’s on the crate where you left it.” When she had joined him, he would walk out into the open, the dust and ash mostly settled by now. He took the lead and headed for their home, wanting this to be the first stop on their journey. Debris and ash crunched underfoot as he walked, and after a minute or so he halted in front of the ruins of their old home. He waited for Lily to catch up before he began to speak.

”Do you know why we’re here?” he asked at first, looking at the wreckage, ”On Mandalore and in front of this rubble? Why any of this is important?” He turned his masked face towards her and looked down for a moment before turning his gaze to the distant mountains.

@Sreeya

 

[Lily Solus]

She had her face pressed against the glass, oblivious to her father rummaging around through her pack. She couldn’t believe how desolate it looked, and how different it was from anything she learned about it. However, she did perk up at one of his comments, scowling, “What’s wrong with carrots? I love carrots. And mom liked them too,” She said defiantly, jutting her chin out and looking away. She could eat carrots all day, along with little broccolis and other veggies.

After the ship landed, Lily quickly ran over to get the training helmet, popping it atop her head. She followed him out of the exit ramp, grimacing at once at all the debris around them. Even the very air carried dust with it that made it difficult to see in the distance. She stayed close to her father, following his line of sight to the ruins of a house.

When they came to a pause, she took it all in, looking all around. She had very vague memories of this, but nothing beyond that. When he asked the question, she bit her lip nervously. She despised not being on top of things, and she was truly lost now.

“We are on Mandalore because it is- it was our home. And it was destroyed by the Sith. It’s where mother died,” She said quietly, “I...I don’t know why we are here,” She looked at the wreckage, “I don’t know that, father.”

Lily looked down at her feet, feeling as if she missed a test question she should have known the answer to.

 

[Leandros Solus]

Leandros panned his gaze across the destroyed landscape of Keldabe, his eyes tracing over the myriad ruined buildings and homes, undisturbed since the attack. Even looters knew not to violate the sanctity of this place, and for that, he felt a modicum of peace. All of Mandalore became a tomb for their people, but their culture lived on across the stars. He would ensure that the Mandalorian culture would never die out, and so long as a single one of his people lived, that dream would be a reality.

When Lily began to answer his question, his stern gaze fell upon her once again, scrutinizing her words. ”It will always be our home,” he corrected, ”So long as one of us yet survives, all of Mandalore lives. Cities can be rebuilt, lives can be restored. This is where we were betrayed again by those who abused the Force. It is where we found new purpose in this life.” He knelt down to be even with her once again, placing a hand on her shoulder. ”Your mother fell here, in this city, defending you and our people, but she did not die.” He brought his hand inward and tapped his chest, then mirrored the same for her. ”She’s here, in the Manda, our souls, along with every other Mandalorian who has given their lives for our people. Never forget that you carry the strength of an entire culture within you, girl.”

He stood up and looked off to the distant mountains again, his chest heaving with a great sigh. ”We’re not just here to mourn,” he grumbled, turning his gaze back to his daughter once more as she looked at her feet, embarrassed, unsure. ”You’re here to learn about what it means to be Mandalorian, to learn about our people.” He pointed to the tallest peak on the horizon, watching as clouds drifted by its snowy cap. ”And up there is where you will earn your beskar’gam. Where you will find out what kind of warrior you will be.”

He pursed his lips and looked back down, ”The journey will not be easy,” he said, ”But you are ready. You must be ready.”

@Sreeya

 

[Lily Solus]

Lily said nothing as he corrected her on what she said about her mother. Under her helmet, she was actually smiling, gazing at the ruins, “Yes, she will always be with us, won’t she?” She looked up at him, “In me, in you, in our people,” It was a comforting thought. She couldn’t remember her mother, but the pictures and her letter were the most cherished possessions she had. Her father knew of the letter, and he had been good about not being nosy.

When he mentioned beskar’gam, she gasped and looked up, “My own beskar’gam?!” She said, the tone of excitement unmistakeable. She realized the severity of the situation and cleared her throat, looking down again, “Yes, father. I’m ready, of course I’m ready.”

She looked at the wreckage again, thinking about how all of this was meant to be their home. She couldn’t help but feel anger bubble up in her chest, and she scowled beneath the helmet, “I want to fight the Sith and make them pay,” Lily said after a moment, “I know mother is with Manda but...I can’t touch her, hug her or listen to her.”

She breathed in deeply, “I can’t do that because of the Sith. I can only look at pictures and listen to stories,” She didn’t meet his gaze, ashamed of the tears that threatened to come. Try as she might, she couldn’t hold them back, fingers curling into fists as warm tears filled her eyes, “I would have been able to talk to her and show her my beskar’gam if the Sith didn’t take her away.”

Lily paused for a moment and looked up again, "Let's go, father."

 

[Leandros Solus]

Leandros smiled warmly at her from beneath his mask, though she’d never know it. He needed to be stern, firm with her, in order for her to grow into a true Mandalorian. He wouldn’t allow her to grow complacent, though he knew the incredible pressure she probably felt with the legacy of her parents as a constant shadow. She needed more friends, he surmised, but that would come later. Her words warmed his heart, and he was glad she realized that Raz was with them always, because even he had trouble remembering that sometimes.

Her excitement was almost palpable once she learned she’d be earning her armor on this journey and it reminded him of his own youth, though he’d make sure she would never experience the hardships he had to. She was rearing for a fight, that stubborn tenacity and desire for action that her mother once had bubbling to the surface as she spoke of the Sith, and her words even began to stir that hate for Force users within him. Just as she’d never hug or listen to Raz, so too would he never get to feel the gentle touch of his wife, nor would he experience a “welcome home!” headbutt. He missed her immensely, but the girl right in front of him was all he needed now to remind him of what he once had, of how happy he used to be.

”Good, let’s go,” he said in response to everything she said, stepping off at once. The dirt crunched beneath his feet and he would set off down the streets of the ruined capital of his home, the eerie silence accompanying the two on their journey. Lily needed to see the extent of the damage caused by the Sith, by those who were consumed by the absolute power of the Force. He’d walk silently through the ruined avenues, vaguely remembering where certain buildings once were. A café here, a shop there, a forge on the corner of that street. Families, businesses, lives were destroyed in one fell swoop, and he needed his daughter to understand the animosity they felt towards their foes. He didn’t have much to say to her, preferring instead to let her ask questions or to simply take in their surroundings. This was her chance to learn and grow, and she needed to figure out who she was over the course of this journey.

He kept his hands on his pack straps, humping down the road like it was no big deal. He knew the real test would come once they got closer towards the mountains, but for now he kept a wary eye out for looters, scavengers, or wild creatures moving in. Already, vegetation started to invade some of the buildings; thick vines creeped up the sides of destroyed storefronts or apartments, and he could’ve sworn he heard the faint howl of beasts in the distance being carried on the wind. Every now and then he’d look down at Lily to ensure she was keeping up, then back ahead. The goal was to reach beyond the edge of the city today, farther if they could keep up this quick pace. If all went well, the trip to the mountain wouldn’t take more than another day’s hike.

 

[Lily Solus]

Lily was slightly crestfallen when he had no response to everything she said. However, it wasn’t entirely surprising for him, and she simply tightened the straps of her pack and began to walk alongside him. She had been born here, but she had no real memories of this planet. Lily tried to imagine everything vibrant and alive, with residents walking around and chatting about.

They passed remnants of shops here and there, most of them with shattered glass or entire chunks missing. Lily couldn’t help but imagine coming by to go into some of the shops or knowing the owners. Were they all dead now? Did they have time to evacuate? It broke her heart to see everything so desolate, and debris filled everywhere. The air carried dust, and distant sands kicked up as they passed through the empty streets.

“Father, were you born here?” She asked after a while, running to keep up with him after she had fallen behind. Lily had been especially shaken after seeing what looked like a little girl’s toy speederbike. She had to wonder what happened to the child. Lily glanced up at Leandros, “What was it like living here?”

She had a million other questions, pointing at random shops and asking who owned it or about the history of landmarks they passed, “Did you have friends that lived on this street? Where are they?” The more they passed, the more of her childish side shone through as curiosity got the better of her.

 

[Leandros Solus]

Leandros marched along the desolate streets of his home, observing a solemn silence as they passed by the burned-out husks of homes and shops. This was once a lively and bustling city, and now the only disturbance for miles was father and daughter walking side-by-side through its empty streets. He hadn’t seen half of the people to whom these shops belonged, and it pained him to think about their fates. He knew they didn’t save everyone, even though they tried, and for many, this became their grave. Walking through a ghost town like this was eerie, but he was glad he had Lily with him, even if he wouldn’t outright say it.

Her questions began a while after they stepped off, and he was surprised it took her this long to start. ”I was born here, but not in the city,” he began as he addressed her first question, ”I was born in a little village far from here, closer to the mountains.” As he spoke, he began to wonder what the fate of his home villagers was and whether they managed to escape the wrath of the Empire. He hadn’t thought of that place as home in a long, long time, but they were still Mandalorian, even after the attack that drove him into the wilderness as a kid.

”Living here…” he trailed off as they walked, remembering how busy it used to be. ”This place was beautiful, once. Blue skies, city streets full of life. Everyone was part of the same, big family, even if we were of different clans. Mandalorians of every species lived and interacted here. Big or small, human or alien, old…” he reached out and rested a hand on her helmet, shaking it a bit playfully, ”…and young. Kids like you ran around and played or fought, always competing, always wanting to be the best. This place was a paradise and the birthplace of our people.” Reminiscing of his home brought back good memories. He thought about the first time he visited Raz, and the basilisk race that followed. He thought about the thrill of diving off the cliff’s edge and being pulled into the lake by her, of sitting by the shore and watching nature for hours. Losing his wife hurt, but the memories he had of her reminded him of how much she meant and how much she expected of him.

After Lily’s third question, he paused for a moment, putting a hand out to stop her as well. He had plenty of friends on these streets, but he didn’t want to talk about them, not yet. They had time to spare, and a little detour wouldn’t kill them. ”Come, let’s go see something,” he said, taking a side street and moving off from the main avenue. The walk wouldn’t be very far, and it would take them past numerous parks and clearings – places Mandalorians would gather and hang out. He’d entertain her questions as they walked, but there was one particular place he wanted to visit and see if it still stood.

After a few minutes, they arrived at a flat clearing, once verdant and filled with flowers, now reduced to withered grass and choking ash. It would be entirely empty, save for a dust-covered statue in the center of it. Leandros smiled beneath his helmet, and it almost began to choke him up again seeing it survive the destruction of their home.

In the clearing was a statue of a woman valiantly raising two beskads in the air, helmet pointed to the sky. Though pieces of the statue might have been chipped or blown away, it was mostly intact. Beskar was a hell of a metal, and even the wrath of the Empire couldn’t destroy this monument to Mandalorian ferocity. At the base of the statue, written in Mando’a, read “Mand’alor the Chosen.” Leandros recognized both Wyatt’s and Raz’s beskads, and seeing the monument briefly returned him to that rainswept day where Raz fought and killed one of their own to prove her worth. Even now, he could hear her guttural scream over the thunder and cheering of their people.

Leandros stood there and took it in for a moment before looking down at Lily. ”This was your mother,” he said, ”The day she became our Mand’alor. The first one in over five centuries, and she was chosen by the gods to lead us. To unite us against the Sith.” He’d give her a bit to take it in before finishing up with, ”I had many friends who lived here, but she was the best among them. Among us all. I’m not sure where the rest all are, but I know where she is.” She wanted to know more about their people and her mother, and he’d happily oblige. This was her journey.

 

[Lily Solus]

She was actually surprised that he entertained all her questions. Lily kept rattling off more, though she kept getting distracted halfway. She stopped to investigate everything on the way, crouching down and moving things out of the way. She picked up something shiny and inspected it from all angles.

“Father, what’s this?” He would recognize it as the remnant of a lightsaber, but she couldn’t tell. It was a broken chunk of the hilt with a fragment of the crystal left. After he explained, she would reflect back on how he described the streets and all the people. She couldn’t imagine anything like that. Even now on Concord Dawn, no one seemed happy or lively. Everyone only focused on the war or fighting the Jedi or Sith.

When he suggested to go see something, she perked up and picked up the pace. Lily had to run to keep up with his tall strides, and she could see a statue up ahead. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but she followed him regardless, waiting for him to explain.

Lily gasped when he did, looking up at the great statue. She stared with her mouth hanging open beneath the helmet, “That’s...mother?” She said with a tone of surprise, still in awe of the statue. It stood proudly despite all the wreckage around it, and she knew it would stand for many years to come.

She felt a sense of pride as he described her. Lily blinked up at the statue, quiet for a long moment, “How can I ever be like her?” She asked, slightly dismayed, “Everyone loved her so much. They followed her. She knew what to do and you know what to do now. How did she make that happen?” She looked at her father, “Why was she Chosen and how did you know she was the best?” Lily looked down at her feet, “Do you think I could ever be like her....or you??”

@Painus

 

[Leandros Solus]

Leandros let the girl explore and rattle off questions to her heart’s content, proud that she had such an interest in the fate and history of their people, even amidst such destruction. The overwhelming sense of dread Leandros felt here was nonexistent in Lily, and her youthful energy was refreshing. It reminded him of what kind of hope could exist in the galaxy, even after atrocities like this, and he hoped she would never lose that feeling. She seemed particularly interested in the broken hilt of a lightsaber, its red crystal still partially intact. Seeing it made his face run hot, but the satisfaction of its wielder likely being buried alongside it was enough to calm him down and explain its significance to her.

”You’re already so much like her,” he replied calmly in response to her surprise, a gentle smile forming on his face as she began to connect with her memory. ”Brave, strong, kind… everyone loved her because she showed us what we needed to be to be free.” He looked down at Lily and put a hand on her shoulder as she spoke about the fact that the two of them knew what they were doing. Truthfully, neither one was prepared to be the leader of their people – it just happened to them, and the mantle of responsibility weighed just as heavily on Leandros as it did Raz. She was right, all those years ago, when she said that there was no how-to guide on being the Mand’alor, that they just needed to do what they thought was right for their people.

”She was a born leader,” he continued, lifting his head to look at the statue again, ”We followed her because we believed in her and her ideals. She brought our people from nothing into what we are today. Even with our home destroyed, we’ll never forget where she brought us. She was Chosen because even the gods themselves believed in her.”

He kneeled down to be even with Lily and looked into her helmet, smiling beneath his mask. ”You know that feeling you get when you’re happy, or hungry, or sleepy?” he asked, ”There’s no way to tell, except you just know, right? That’s how we knew she was the best. We just knew. Even now, we remember her as the best.” He turned his head to the side to look at the statue, then returned his gaze to Lily. ”I just know you’ll be like us one day,” he affirmed to her, ”Keep eating your veggies and training and you’ll grow up big and strong like dad and brave and inspiring like mom.”

Leandros pushed against his knee and rose to his full height, looking back at he statue. He took a few steps towards it, noting the impressive level of detail in it, even despite the settled dust and ash. Their people truly loved her, and it was reflected in the masterwork craftsmanship of her monument.

”I know she loved you more than anything in this galaxy. She’d be so proud of who you’re becoming.” he said aloud, though not specifically to Lily. His eyes began to water slightly as he looked at the statue, his mind rolling through all the memories they had together.

@Sreeya

 

[Lily Solus]

Lily smiled as he spoke, puffing out her chest with pride as he said she was brave and strong. What kind of person did you have to be for the Gods themselves to believe in you? She saw so many people mourn her, and even non Mandalorians reported their sadness over her passing. Lily felt guilty for not even remembering her voice or anything about her.

She stood in silence for a moment, staring up at the statue. Who did she want to be when she grew up? She thought about her father and the wars and the crusades. She thought about her mother and the fight for peace and unification. Both of them were completely different paths, and both driven by entirely different things.

The weight of the galaxy felt as if it were on her, and she was expected to do great things. She felt so tiny then, a miniscule dot standing beneath the giant statue of her mother that eclipsed everything. Lily turned to look at her father and paused.

“Mother gave me a job, you know,” She said quietly. She set her backpack down, fishing through it for a moment. After a while, she took out a handwritten letter, which were a rarity nowadays, “It’s my favorite thing that she has given me and I read it when things are difficult,” Lily smiled as she looked at it. He had never asked her about it, and she had never bothered telling him.

After a moment, she finally extended it to him. When he finally opened it, he would recognize his wife’s writing at once.

“My dearest daughter. If you are reading this, then I’ve done something extraordinarily stupid to get myself killed. By now, I have no doubt that you are a beautiful, smart, and wonderful girl. And I have no doubt that with the parents you have, there’s also quite a bit of stubbornness. You must be driving your father absolutely crazy. How many people can say they have two Mand’alors as parents?

I am sorry I couldn’t be there for your happy days and your sad days. I am sorry I will not be there for your milestones. I am sorry I will not be there to see you love me, hate me, then love me again. I am sorry I have let you start life as so many of us do - with one or both parents having fallen. I am sorry for all the tears you’ve had to shed. I am so, so very sorry.

If I know your father, I know that he has been alone. He is too stubborn to live any other way. If I know your father, I know that the smile never reaches his eyes. If I know your father, I know he has closed himself off. If I know your father, I know he doesn’t let anyone in. If I know your father, he has probably been hard on you. I want you to know that for all the things he has done, he loves you more than Kad Harangir himself. He loves you more than his own life. You came from the love we shared - the love we had as comrades that fought together to build a clan up from scratch, the love we had as friends, and the love we had when we became so much more till we became parents.

Welcoming you into our world was the happiest and scariest day of our lives. I saw in your father’s eyes love I could never describe, and I knew at that moment he would go to the ends of the galaxy for you. And I knew I’d do the same. No matter where your life takes you, no matter how many hardships you come across, know that you are so very much loved, my daughter.

If I know your father, I know that he is lonely. He is entirely too stubborn to do anything about it. Bring light back into his life, my daughter. Show him that he does not have to be unhappy forever. Show him that he can love and laugh again. Break down his walls and his barriers. He is so loved and cherished by our people, and he can find joy again. No one can help bring that but you, my daughter. Let him understand that Kad has pulled me close and he does not need to worry about me anymore. Let him understand that he needs to live again.

There was a time when your father laughed till he was weak. There was a time when he had his armor stolen and had to return in shame. There was a time when he belted out songs and smiled so much. There was a time when he was so alive and so full of life. There was a time when he had the most tight knit circle of friends.

If I know your father, I know he has forsaken all of that. If I know your father, you think he is out to stop you from doing anything you want to do. Know that you are all he has left, my daughter. Know that you are the last thread that’s keeping him together. Understand that sometimes you will have to be strong. So strong. So much stronger than you should need to be. Be strong for him, be strong for me.

Whatever you do, know that I am proud of you. I love you. I love your father. I love our people. Whenever you feel sad, close your eyes and put your hand over your heart. Your father once told me that our body, our physical bodies, are the factories of fear. It does not belong to us. It belongs to the gods and our children, our fathers and mothers and those of Mandalore a hundred, thousand years yet unborn. We live on eternally as I do through you, my daughter. And when you understand that, remind your father of the same because he may sometimes forget.

Set forth upon the galaxy and never forget where you came from and how loved you are and always will be. Set forth and learn to love, hate, be afraid, make mistakes, fall, pick yourself up again. Cry many tears, laugh till your stomach hurts. Love so much that it hurts and you feel like your heart is going to explode. Know that I will be with you every step of the way.

Until we meet again, I will happily wait an eternity to be reunited with you and your father in Manda. “

 

[Leandros Solus]

Leandros was fixated on the statue of his wife for a time, remembering old memories that they had together. From their first down times spent hanging out at her home, to the basilisk race, to sitting by the lake on their beautiful home world – the one now choked with ash around them. From the loss of Dan and standing on the brink, to drinking moonshine, to riding banthas, to surviving the wrath of Granny Fett and her army of buck-toothed hicks, to their first kiss. From assassinating an Emperor, to sharing a moment of passion in the aftermath. From their first true fight after her vengeance came to those who wronged him. From the unwelcome surprise of her pregnancy that brought him to tears of joy for the first time in his life. From the growing pains of pregnancy, to eating wings, to making love on the floor of their home covered in sauce. His mind raced through these thoughts, and, for a hair’s breadth of a moment, he was happy again.

His mind snapped from his thoughts when Lily spoke back up. Leandros turned towards her and watched her dig through her things, curiosity twinkling in his eyes. What job could Raz have given their daughter? She was a toddler at the time of her mother’s death, so this revelation surprised him. His girl handed him the letter than he had promised Raz to give to her when she was ten, and he cautiously took it. He swore to never read it, not unless Lily gave him permission, and now that he finally held it in his hands, a wave of apprehension swept over him. Was he prepared for what Raz had to say? He wasn’t sure, and that uncertainty scared him.

He opened the letter, smiling right away at her handwriting. It took him a few minutes to read all the way through, the pain of hearing her voice through her writing wounding him like no other weapon could. Her words dug deep, every single one of them true, every single one of them reflecting exactly how he was now. She had such great intuition, and her final legacy would be words of wisdom to their daughter about her own husband. He was thankful for the mask, for the tears now staining his visor and blurring his vision made it difficult to read it again. He took a moment, his chest shuddering with sadness and regret, his breathing turning ragged.

He desperately wanted Raz to tell him what to do, how to lead their people. He wanted to hold her, to tell her that their daughter was quickly growing into a beautiful, brave, worthy woman who would soon become a true Mandalorian. He wanted her to hold him, to tell him that he was making all the right decisions, or to punch him and tell him to do better.

His mind wrestled itself, turning end over end as he fought against his own thoughts. Was he the man that Raz wanted him to be? Was he the leader that their people wanted him to be? Was he the father that Lily needed him to be? Was he the man he wanted to be?

This letter well and truly exposed him, and, even with the anonymity of his armor, he felt completely naked. He was silent for a while, the only sound of his being the occasional sniffle. After a moment, he remembered where he was, and his gaze focused on Lily. He knelt down, reaching up to pull off his mask and show her his tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. He said nothing, and simply reached out to pull her in and scoop her up.

”I’m sorry,” he muttered, bringing her in close for a hug, ”For not protecting her.” He kept her close to him, tears falling silently from his eyes and onto the ashen surface of Mandalore. ”I should have been there by her side until the end, but I wasn’t, and now I’m all you have.” He was both apologizing to her and blaming himself, knowing that the letter in his hands wanted him to do the exact opposite. Reconciliation would come later when he finally found his peace.

Eventually he pulled back and placed his forehead against her helmet for a moment before lifting it to look at where her eyes would be. ”I love you, Lily,” he said, ”Your mother loved you. We want the best for you, I hope you understand that. You’re the greatest legacy either of us could have left, and no matter what you do, we will always stand with you. You’re the only thing in this galaxy that I care about, and nothing, not even the gods, could come between that.”

He looked at her and tried to smile through the pain he was feeling, and he managed it with some effort. ”I just hope you love me back.”

 

[Lily Solus]

Lily gasped in surprise as her father took off the mask to reveal his tear stained face. She had never seen him openly display emotions like this, and she was frozen in place. It was sobering to see such a powerful man as her father be driven to tears.

He apologized for not being there for her mother, and she felt a pang in her chest. The letter was one of her most cherished possessions, and now her father shared in it as well. She reached over and wiped away his tears, smiling at his words beneath the helmet. He was all she had, but she didn’t think it was anything to be sorry for.

Lily had read the letter a million times, and they had said so many times that her mother lived on in them. Why was that any less true now? He pulled her into a hug, and she happily returned it. Her arms wrapped around his neck, holding on tightly. When he pulled back and spoke, there was a small moment of silence from her.

“Of course I love you,” She said before leaning in to hug him again, “You’ll always be my daddy and you're all I need,” Lily said quietly. She hadn’t called him that since she had been little, and she always had been taught the proper way to address him formally around others. However, none of that mattered now, and she wanted him to know just who he was to her at the bottom of it all.

@Painus

 

[Leandros Solus]

Leandros smiled at her gestures. Visiting the statue and reading the letter was sobering for the both of them, and he knew it was a beneficial detour. He’d never have known about that letter if they had continued on, and having shared in its message, the two were now even closer than before. Lily’s little arms wrapped around his neck tight, bringing him comfort and relief, before her words warmed his heart. He might not have known how to do any of this, but at least what little bit he was doing was being done right. Hearing her call him ‘daddy’ and not something more formal made him smile warmly as they hugged once more.

The tears in his eyes died down and began to dry up, though the streaks on his cheeks – what few remained after Lily wiped them off – were the only signs of his breakdown. ”I love you, Lilypad,” he whispered before turning his head in the hug and kissing Lily on the side of her helmet. He held the hug for a little bit longer before pulling away and pushing against his knee, rising to his feet. This was cathartic for him, and he felt better about who he needed to become.

Still, they were here for Lily’s beskar’gam, and they had quite a way to go. He looked down at his daughter, smiling at her one last time before donning his mask again. ”Now come, we’re losing daylight, and your mother would kill me if we didn’t get you your armor.” He turned his gaze towards the distant mountain and picked up his pack, tossing it on his back. Unless she had something further to say or do, he’d set off to leave the city and head towards the woods at the base of the mountain, giving Raz’s statue one last look.

”I love you too, Razberry,” he mouthed to himself, smiling briefly before focusing his mind fully to the journey at hand.