Hallda Acrux

CommisarJhon

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jedi_knight_ii_by_dywa.jpg
NAME: Hallda Acrux
AGE: 23
SPECIES: Human

FACTION: Jedi Knights
RANK: Jedi Knight

HEIGHT: 6’1’’or 185cm
WEIGHT: 187lbs or 85kg
HAIR COLOR: Dark Brown
EYE COLOR: Dull Brown
FORCE: Yes, Trained


STRENGTH:
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DEXTERITY:
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STAMINA:
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INTELLIGENCE:
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WISDOM:
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CHARISMA:
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  • Hallda was born to a family that lived in one of the Naboo villages. He lived with his father, who worked on damaged vehicles, while his mother was retired bounty hunter, who decided to settle with his father, working along side husband. While they certianly were not rich, moderate income along with his mothers savings from the bounty allowed them to have good life. At young age, his father would teach him the game of Draughts, as to sharpen his sons mind. As such, they would play Draughts every evening one he comes back from work. His mother often told her epic stories (with less "detail") when she worked as bounty hunter in her younger days. As such, young Hallda always dreamed of traveling the Naboon and possibly even galaxy, travel at speed of light far, far away.

    "Do you believe in destiny?" This was one of Hallda's mother questions to young boy and admittedly, he was rather confused by such simple question. Not that he cared too much about fate and destiny. It's not like that the wrold was after him, but then again, its not like the luck was on his side. At the age of eight, his family, along with the entire village, had been hit with nightmare scenario. Company sized raiders had decided to not only loot the village, but turn the entire village and its people into ash. But that was not the biigest issue for villages, the scary thing about raiders that they werent your usual incompetent piirates and criminals. They were well armed and battle-hardened warriors who have pillaged many villages and even towns before. The villagers, including is mother and father, fought brutual battle against the raiders. However, after bloody fight, they managed to breakthrough, killing most defenders, including Halldas parents, and this is where things got bad.

    The battle had turned into massacare, with raiders looting everything on sight and then burning the rest, while killing anyone on sight. Only few villagers have survived the initial massacare and raiders were closing in. However, as bad luck struck the entire village, the miracle had arrived aswell. Group of Jedi Knights, led by Jedi Master Etwin Konkruk, had arrived to the villages. After hard fought fight between Jedi Knights and Raiders, the raiders had been forced to retreat, to avoid destruction and potential capture. The Jedi offered to escort villagers to nearest town, which they accepted, due to village being basically erased and not wanting to take another risk.

    During the trip, Master Etwin sensed strong presents within the boy. After discovering that the young boy Hallda has lost both of his parents during the massacare, he decided that the boy should be submitted to the testing, suspecting that the Hallda is force sensitive, and quiet powerful at that. Upon arriving Tython and the Jedi Temple, his suspicions were confirmed. Halldas had a powerful connection to the force and he, along with his fellow companions, can sense it. Etwin knew that the boy has to be trained in the ways of the Jedi and the force. After careful consideration, as they were aware that boy had just suffered quiet a traumatic experience, permission to train Hallda as his Initiate.

    During his training as Initiate, he proved himself as capable swordsman and had natural affinity to the force, which unfortunatly fueled his confidence, as he seemingly outpeformed his fellow Initates who were in similar age group. His master taught him valuable lesson of constantly improving himself, to constantly push himself to the limit. While he was arrogant, he was not sloppy in his training, if he were told to give his best, then he gave his best and beyond. And he relentlessly worked on his flaws by either improving it or making up for it. However, when he was around 17 years old, his master asked spine chilling question.

    "Do you belive in destiny?" Halldas first toughts (as you could expect) was déjà vu, as he isnt person who simply belives in "coincidences" and he sensed possible danger of history repeating itself miles away. Still, he kept his cool and proceeded to respond to his masters question with slight nod. However, his suspicions and concern were confirmed, as Tython was obliterated by sith ritual. Unfortunately for him, he and his master were located in Alderaan, tasked to rescue Jedi Knight from group of bandits, who managed to capture jedi after ambushing wounded jedi.

    They managed to find the wounded jedi, however bandits captain, who formerly served in republican military, had foresaw the rescue. As such, he and his men setup an ambush against them, in intend to either kill the jedi or better, capture them. During the skirmish, Hallda personally slayed many bandits along side his master. As most bandits routed, captain along side his battle-hardened grunts


    After long war of attrition, Hallda killed the captain, battered from tough fight. Once rescuing jedi knight (since most of the bandits fled with loot) and bringing his masters lifeless body to the ship, they returned to Jedi Temple. There was no question if hed become jedi knight anymore. He had constantly improved himself, he has constantly endure many events and tragedies, he has fought many tough opponents and jedi knight he had become.

    After becoming jedi knight, he had continued constant training with his lightsaber and force, constantly improving himself. He felt helpless, everytime the life seemed to take good turn, destiny deprived him from it everytime. Yet, this may also be because he did not train hard enough, he did not do enough, was not perfect enough. And, so has begun his journey of perfection. Hiding his pain with the mask, he had started to constantly improve himself. Challenging himself every single day, challenging many fellow jedi to sparrings, giving his all. If the destiny was steering the ones he cared about to danger, then he was going to be the one who prevented it by becoming stronger. He has to, he has to.

    Life is not fair, as life can at times be like game of dice, youre either lucky or unlucky. While he cannot prevent what happened to him in past, he will try to prevent other people suffering same, if not worse fate. As such, he will do his best to restore order and peace that the galaxy needs. But question becomes: How far is he willing to go to protect his friends and the republic? That remains to be seen
  • Hallda is rather tall person compared to most of his human peers, standing at 6’1’’ or 1.85 meters. His hair is dark brown, with dull brown eyes. His skin tone is tan from spending lot of time outside, mostly due to his missions being in desert enviroment. He also has lean build from constant training, as hes strict when it comes to training.
  • Hallda is rather tall person compared to most of his human peers, standing at 6’1’’ or 1.85 meters. His hair is dark brown, with dull brown eyes. His skin tone is tan from spending lot of time outside, mostly due to his missions being in desert enviroment. He also has lean build from constant training, as hes very strict when it comes to training.
  • First impressions of Hallda would be more than likely "Overly-Arrogant Jedi Knight" and they wouldn't be exactly wrong. Ever since being recruited into the order, he had excelled at swordsmanship and his affinity to the force only fueled his confidence. This usually results in him underestimating his opponents and considering himself superior to his peers. Of course he still sees any opponent as threat and he still holds great respect to Jedi Masters, as Hallda is still aware he has long way to go, he's still overly-confident in his abilities. It dosen't help that he's very competetive person and can be quiet sensitive to criticism, especially if the criticism is valid.

    However, this is the mask that Hallda forged, as he had convinced himself that he was THE jedi, because he felt that he had to be. He hated the idea of being useless with passion, he refuses the idea of being unable to protect others. He has to constantly challange himself, he has to become most powerful jedi, to prevent people suffering the same way he had to in past.

    He has to improve himself to drive the Sith Empire back and stop horrific acts. Because if he dosen't, he would have to see his citizens of republic, his companions and worse, people who he cares about to get injured or worse die, because he was unable to stop it. And worst part is, it would be his fault if he dosen't prevent this by constantly improving himself. As such, he has to be confident, he has to smile in darkest hour, he has to give everything he got, he has to be invincable.

    Hes not just competetive just so he could show his skills, but instead to further improve it, to make up for any flaws he mightve found. He isn't sensitive to criticism because it hits his pride, but because it only reminds him that hes not perfect enough. His arrogance is side effect of wearing the persona for so long in public, the mask hiding his fragile state and emotions. As such, while outside he seems emotionally stable, inside he has potential to snap, which may end very badly unless he finds a way to solve his insecurities soon.

    While Hallda has flaws, he also has his own positives. While he's usually uncomfortable in making connections with other people, he can be rather nice person once he warms up. He's very determined person with strong resolve, he will give his all to fight back his opponents and protect his comrades at all costs. As such, his willpower is sight to behold when pressured. Aslo while he isn't known for intelligence, he is suprisingly intelligent in certain topics, paticularly in martial arts and history. And he has a passion when it comes to board games, praticularly in Draughts. No... ESPECIALLY with Draughts (you have been warned.)
  • As Jedi Knight who values swordsmanship highly, Hallda is skilled with the blade. However, he does try to diversify when it comes to lightsaber forms, as he has seen failing of relying on one style. He mainly focuses on Form V, which is bolstered by Form III and Form IV. On battlefield, Hallda uses Shien to retaliate against blasters and for "crowd control" whenever necessary. Combined with his training in Soresu, Hallda's defendsive capacity against blasters and large groups is further increased. While he dosen't use Ataru on large scale battles, as its not suited for long periods of time, he does use acrobatics when needed.

    In lightsaber duels, he would use Shien and/or Shii-Cho to asses his opponent, using his knowledge of all lightsaber forms and styles to exploit his opponents weakness and avoid his/her strenghts. Once he's satisfied with the assesment, he would switch to more powerbased Djem So strikes to dismantle his opponent, while using Form IV to flank his opponent and to make up for Form V lack of mobility. On defendse, he uses Soresu blocks and parries, while attemtping to counter-attack with Djem-So, to avoid being dismantled himself. His swordsmanship is further bolstered by the force, using telekenisis to unbalance his opponent and further boost his already excellent strenght and dexterity.

    Hallda connection with the force and practice, while not masterful, has powerful affinity to the force and has various abilities under his belt. However, his force powers is limited compared to his skill with the blade and has stretched thin with mastery due to large amounts of abilities. His most powerful force ability is also most defendsive, the Force Barrier, which he has practiced for years. Hes capable of defending against various of force, physical, energy attacks and even capable of blocking rocket-propelled explosive. However, constant pressure can either result in barrier defendses failing or his force reserves running low.

    Hes also very capable with Telekenisis, able to lift large debris that weight hundreds of tones with only slight difficulties. However, he prefers more subtle use of telekenisis, as he found overpowering with sheer telekenisis exhaustive, if not impossible and as such, use the power along side the blade. Hes also adept in Force Augmentation, able to further bolster his physical strenght and dexterity, along with acrobatics.

    His another more specialized ability is Force Stun, which could temporarily deaden the senses and perceptions of a targeted enemy, preventing most movements. He uses two variations of this ability: First one is area effect type, which he sends a wave of force towards the opponent and if he failed to defend against it, wave would course through his/her body, stunning muscles and mind. His second variant is more mental version, forcing his will upon the target, he attempts to penetrate opponents mind in attempt to stun him.

    While its difficult to defend against Force Stun, it is possible by either defending by using force or by interupting him. Also person with high willpower is able to resist the effects (assuming they can get past Hallda's own willpower and/or power with the force). As such, he uses power cautiously, as it requries focus and it could leave him open.

    His last two abilities is Force Sense and Mind Trick, which is his least developed skills. While he could mind trick weak willed individuals and sense another persons feelings and at times impending dangers, it's clear that hes rather weak with these abilities, mostly due to lack of practice. These are compensated by more combative abilities like Telekenisis and Force Stun, it is still noticable under developed.

    Hallda is proficent when it comes to acrobatics, able to pull of some impressive feats when put in pressure, altough he wouldn't use acrobatics long periods to avoid expending both stamina and force reserves too much. Also thanks to training in Ataru, he has become capable hand to hand combat, capable of petting up a fight without weapon, altough he prefers lightsaber over unarmed combat. In his earlier days, he used to train in flying the starfighter, but after crashing twice with the fighter in just two days, it was decided that it would be best to stop the training before accidents get lethal. Also while he has practiced shooting with the blaster, he has put most of his effort in swordsmanship and the force. As such, his aim with the blasters are bellow avarage at best and bad at worst.

    Novice ---> Intermidiate ---> Adept ---> Expert ---> Masterful

    Form I: Novice
    Form III: Adept
    Form IV: Adept
    Form V: Expert

    Force Barrier: Adept
    Telekenisis: Adept
    Force Augmentation: Adept
    Force Stun: Intermidiate
    Force Sense: Novice
    Mind Trick: Novice

    Acrobatics: Adept
    Unarmed Combat: Intermidiate
    Piloting: Novice
    Marksmanship: Novice

  • Armor
    Brown Jedi Cloak (Pictured Above), reinforced with dura-steel plates beneath the fabric. It's armor protection is equivalent to Jedi Modular Armor.

    Weapon
    1x Modified jedi Lightsaber, with hilt being reinforced with some cortosis to resist light hits from lightsaber. Lightsabers blade lenght varies between 0.5-1.5 meters, depending on settings and the blade color is orange.
    1x Jedi Master Etwins standard cyan jedi lightsaber (Hidden)
  • TITLE — Short description [LINK] ● (thread status)
    TITLE — Short description [LINK] ● (thread status)
    TITLE — Short description [LINK] ● (thread status)
  • .

Template by @ZayPat
 
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CommisarJhon

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Just to let know, im somewhat inexperienced when it comes to rp'ing character (most of my roleplay experience comes from rp'ing as a nation in other forum), so any criticism and/or advice would be appriciated.
 

Dark child

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There are quite a lot of missing words and easy to fix errors (especially in the Bio.). Again, I don't want to discourage you if your first language isn't English or you have dyslexia. If the latter is the case, you can always write in your preferred language and then use Google Translate.

In PvP I would advise against using Force Stun since it's an ability that is difficult to block. If you ever do use the ability, make sure your opponent has the ability to counter it as is the case with all PvP attacks.

I'm sure Valen will have a few comments but those are the things I wanted to mention.
 

CommisarJhon

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Yeah, English has never been my strong suit (dosen't help that im Estonian and have learned three other languanges. Jack of all trades, master at none i guess), so yeah i did expect it to happen. Ill start fixing right away.

Fair enough, altough from what ive read, person with high degree of willpower is capable of countering it. But yeah ill keep that in mind.
 

The Good Doctor

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Fair enough, altough from what ive read, person with high degree of willpower is capable of countering it. But yeah ill keep that in mind.

I think that's only if the person is another force user.

Although the Guide to Force Powers does mention that you can use telekinesis to hold someone in the air, but you have to concentrate, but you can't do anything else while holding it. That might fit for what you are looking for
 

CommisarJhon

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I think that's only if the person is another force user.

Although the Guide to Force Powers does mention that you can use telekinesis to hold someone in the air, but you have to concentrate, but you can't do anything else while holding it. That might fit for what you are looking for

I personaly asume that resisting stun with willpower applies to all, but i myself arent 100% sure.

As for telekenisis replacing Force Stun, problem is that 1) It can (and probably will) be exhaustive the longer he holds him in the air and 2) Person is pretty much guaranteed to retaliate, especially the force user. If my character would attempt this, opponent would probably just either force push my character, leaving him open or use lightsaber throw, forcing him to dodge, breaking concentration. And in both scenarios, id would be waste of stamina. I personally decided to take Force Stun because it at least has potential to end the conflict. Also catatonic state is more reliable that just floating in the air really. However, it still can be resisted either by high willpower or by being interuptted.

Edit/Addition: Yes, i could hold enemy in the air and throw the lightsaber at him or impale him with lightsaber. But theres still near guarantee of being retaliated. Also i forgot to mention that he could simply interupt by using Force Barrier. I just find Force Stun more practical in disabling enemy. Even so, two force abilities is better than one (of course).
 
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Dark child

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I'm not as concerned about which powers can be used. You don't have to remove Force Stun at all. I just want it to be known that you can't use it directly on another PC unless they have the ability to counter it.

The effects of Force Stun from what I understand would be similar to slamming your cupped hands into an opponent's ears during a fight, causing them to ring and disorienting the opponent.

The problem is, during a fight, fists can be blocked. If you were to use the power it could be in the form of an area effect damage ability such as:

"The Jedi cast out his hand, sending a wave of the force towards the Sith. A crack rang out as the pulse wave accelerated towards it's target. The Sith would have to act quickly, for if he did not, the incoming wave would course through his body, stunning both muscles and mind."

I was wrong to think that you couldn't use a mental version, once I started writing I realized that it is definitely possible. Something like this seems to be alright as well since it gives the opponent the ability to resist:

"The Jedi cast out his right hand towards his mortal enemy, a snarling zabrak Sith known as Daj' Opress. Forcing his will upon the zabrak, the Jedi attempted to penetrate the darksider's mind in an attempt to stun the hulking beast of a Sith from within."
 
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Dark child

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So this would not change his appearance but I forgot to mention that his armor needs a reference.

I would suggest saying something along the lines of "Hallda wears his brown Jedi cloak ~pictured above~, reinforced with dura-steel plates beneath the fabric. It's armor protection is equivalent to Jedi Modular Armor."
 

CommisarJhon

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Fixed missing words problem, aswell fixing some spelling and grammar problems (altough im 101% sure that i probably missed some, as im avarage when it comes to english). I also improved the description and added about the usage of Force Stun ability. And i added more detailed description for Cloak and Dura-steel armor plates.
 

Valen Pelora

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Hey there @CommisarJhon! I have a few comments on some things that need to be changed.
  • Proof Reading: I understand that English is not your first language. However, the profile is very difficult to smoothly read. Google translator or any type of proof reading would certainly help .
  • Biography: A couple of things need to be addressed here. First, there is no Jedi Temple on Coruscant and never has been. The more likely location he would have been taken is the Jedi Temple on Tython. It looks like he joined the Jedi Order and stayed a member of the Jedi Order. The information I am looking for is how he survived the destruction of Tython (approximately 6 IC years ago) and how he found the Jedi Army (the remaining Jedi at the time who have now become the reborn Jedi Order).
  • Personality: There are some very concerning aspects here. Mainly the desire to become perfect and the most powerful Jedi. Those are pretty concerning for a Jedi. Couple that with the mention that he might "snap" and it raises some red flag. He has been with the Jedi since he was 8, so 15 years. It's unlikely these personality traits would have gone unnoticed by his fellow Jedi and addressed in some way.
  • Force Powers: These will have to be toned down as a whole. The powers are over the top. The specific examples are defending rocket propelled explosives with a Force shield and lifting hundreds of tons easily with telekinesis.
  • Final Thoughts: As a whole, the profile reads like he is very very good at everything with very few weaknesses. We encourage members to have nuance and dimensions. A character should have real strengths and weaknesses.
 

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Once changes are made, I'll volunteer to proof read. Google translate isn't even good and probably won't fix much
 

CommisarJhon

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Hey there @CommisarJhon! I have a few comments on some things that need to be changed.
  • Proof Reading: I understand that English is not your first language. However, the profile is very difficult to smoothly read. Google translator or any type of proof reading would certainly help .
  • Biography: A couple of things need to be addressed here. First, there is no Jedi Temple on Coruscant and never has been. The more likely location he would have been taken is the Jedi Temple on Tython. It looks like he joined the Jedi Order and stayed a member of the Jedi Order. The information I am looking for is how he survived the destruction of Tython (approximately 6 IC years ago) and how he found the Jedi Army (the remaining Jedi at the time who have now become the reborn Jedi Order).
  • Personality: There are some very concerning aspects here. Mainly the desire to become perfect and the most powerful Jedi. Those are pretty concerning for a Jedi. Couple that with the mention that he might "snap" and it raises some red flag. He has been with the Jedi since he was 8, so 15 years. It's unlikely these personality traits would have gone unnoticed by his fellow Jedi and addressed in some way.
  • Force Powers: These will have to be toned down as a whole. The powers are over the top. The specific examples are defending rocket propelled explosives with a Force shield and lifting hundreds of tons easily with telekinesis.
  • Final Thoughts: As a whole, the profile reads like he is very very good at everything with very few weaknesses. We encourage members to have nuance and dimensions. A character should have real strengths and weaknesses.

Well then, i may have to do overhaul on profile. Not sure how long it'll take, but im working on it. As for my awful proof reading skills... Im gotta use Grammarly or other proof reading website since i clearly haven't fixed it enough.

Once changes are made, I'll volunteer to proof read. Google translate isn't even good and probably won't fix much

Appriciate it. That would be big help.
 

The Good Doctor

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Well then, i may have to do overhaul on profile. Not sure how long it'll take, but im working on it. As for my awful proof reading skills... Im gotta use Grammarly or other proof reading website since i clearly haven't fixed it enough.

Appriciate it. That would be big help.


If you want to, you can skip the overhaul (assuming it's for the 'flow"), make the other changes, and I can proof rood. That might save you some work
 
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