Ask Help I've Falleen And I Can't Get Up

[Caelian]

The Killik and their joiner brethren were a continual menace to the galaxy, not long after Ruusan did numerous clusters emerge across various worlds, some large invasions while others small incursions. From what Caelian had observed, a few joined would seed themselves onto a planet until they were in position to either call in or unleash some terrifying killik onslaught.

Therefore, it only made sense to investigate any possible leads or sightings of joined folk to ensure that nothing further could progress. It however was difficult to determine how much success one had in this endeavour, as how could one measure a negative, that being an invasion that never came? Still, Caelian would do his little part in the galactic effort against this horde.

Today he would be investigating a lead that he had picked up of some suspicious activity located on the neutral world of Falleen in the Mid-Rim. The local authorities wouldn't often chase after random theories, but occasionally you'd hear a weird story or two that would just sound out of place, and that would be enough to pique your interest.

In this case, a small-time police officer had been assigned the impossible task of tracking down a missing person's file that had since gone cold. The rookie had been given a task that nobody on the force had ever expected them to complete, and for months that was true. That was until one fateful day, that a young officer had a chance encounter in the street with the very same missing person they had been expecting to turn up dead. Mindful to not be seen, they crept along at a distance and followed the subject for some time before being led to a nearby warehouse.

Not content to just simply watch the door, or willing to knock and find themselves stuck in the middle of some fishy business by themselves, our ever industrious officer scaled a nearby building's fire escape to gain a look in through one of the windows.

Let's just say that stories get out once told in a pub, wild stories that nobody but a loon would believe. That's what the local authorities will tell you, but it was these very same words that drew Caelian's attention. After landing his shuttle at the local spaceport, he made his way to the nearest police station hoping to find out more about this crazy officer, preferably where one might be located first before it was too late.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

Hailee was keeping herself all busy with all kind of stuff...Or well, she wasn't actually keeping herself busy, but she was rather not catching any breaks. Funnily enough, she had gotten oddly used to it.

After Garos, there hadn't been a single day in which she had nothing to do, because she had repeatedly stumbled upon people or even complete planets that were in need of help and Hailee was obviously not ignoring any one of it.

She didn't even know how the hell she had gotten to Falleen, but it had something to do with a group of minor criminals she had tracked down and put a stop to their game, before she had somehow picked out even more rumors.

There was a weird story about a police officer that had turned crazy and Hailee had raised an eyebrow at the drunkard that told her that story, however as he started spitting out details, the story actually piqued her curiosity.

He slurred his language and the details sounded quite confused, however she had at least a trail and that obviously led her to the police station, however she never actually made it there, because a group of leather-jacket wearing jackasses were standing in her way...

"Hey Blondie! We don't actually like what you did to our friends!", the apparent 'leader' called out, a smug grin on his face while he confronted her on the open street, arms crossed in front of his chest. Fuck...So rumors definitely spread both ways. And that was also why you usually stayed away from back alleys...and why you usually avoid getting involved with criminals...

While anger was boiling up inside her, she still thought that swallowing it and simply trying to go her way was an option, but the four thugs made it quite obvious that they were not playing. "If I were you, I wouldn't mess with me" she warned them, in an attempt to intimidate them, a confident smile on her face, but her tactic was apparently not working well.

The leader let out a dirty laugh before he simply snapped, a gesture that was apparently used to order two of the men to step forward, vibroswords raised. Hailee knew using her concealed lightsaber was unwise and so simply she unsheated her dagger. She knew she could still use the Force without raising any suspicions in case they didn't already know she was a Jedi, but she was definitely trying to play it safe.

@Xorism

 

[Caelian]

As he entered the police station, he couldn't help but notice that the place seemed quite packed. There was a flurry of activity with officers moving all manner of individuals around, some cuffed while others not. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary on a surface level, nor would he sense anything astray.

Making his way to join the queue for the front desk, he spotted a slightly worse for wear Devaronian just slightly ahead of him trying to convince the falleen desk clerk that he had been assaulted. The clerk was meanwhile trying to assuage the possibility that the former was pulling some kind of scam, and also more importantly trying to run out the clock for his lunch break.

Frustration blew out of the Devaronian's mouth as the clerk perked up and closed his desk in order to leave, glad that it would now fall to someone else's responsibility to handle. With no one to hear his case, the former refused to leave the front of the queue and promptly slumped himself down onto the ground in front of the desk to wait for his justice.

Caelian meanwhile wasn't planning on waiting around, electing to gaze watchfully and notice through one of the side windows the very same clerk heading out one exit into the street below. Taking care to not walk into anyone or stir up any commotion, the Echani slipped through the crowded station and made his way outside to hunt down this fellow.

While it might have been difficult to track down a civilian falleen without any real information to go on, it was much simpler to find police staffers in their marked uniforms in the nearby eateries. One by one he scanned through the small crowds looking for his mark until he stumbled across the one in particular he sought. Making his way over to the clerk's table, he pulled up a chair and sat down across from him with a silent stare.

"Who the fuck are you?" came the terse reply, disgruntled that his short meal break was being disrupted. Caelian said nothing, instead pulling a small piece of paper from his pocket with a description of the man he was looking for. The clerk didn't budge, his facial expression continued to sour. "I ain't on duty, go bother someone else with your problem."

The Echani sighed, his own frustration beginning to build and show on his face while reaching into another pocket and pulling out another object, this time a small bag of what possibility could be credits (don't narc) before sliding them inconspicuously across the table. The clerk's attention was now with him, sneakily pocketing the small bag and looking casually over his shoulders.

"Yeah, I know about him, but there ain't much to the story. Guy was a rookie who watched too many holo's, got caught up in some drama and made up some stories to cover his screw-ups, didn't last long after that."

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

Unfortunately, Hailee had been in such situations way too often to know exactly how this shit would go down. She couldn't risk getting exposed as a Jedi, but she wouldn't fully win this fight without the help of the Force and so she took a deep breath. Their laughter would soon die down, she was confident about that, but she had to stay focused.

Aaand: She also had a different idea, which was even better. She started backing down - something quite unusual for her- but she was purposely stepping backwards in order to get closer to her actual destination: The police department. She was not here to fuck around with those criminals any longer as she had already blown their deal, so she was basically done with them.

This was just about damage control, so she didn't have to be careful. A slight smirk formed on her lips when she finally decided that it didn't even matter whether they knew she was Force sensitive...They wouldn't tell anyone anyway. "Come get me...".

With that, she started darting sideways while simultaneously sending a Force Push wave right into her attackers so that the startled men were hurled through the air. She used the moment of surprise to rush right through the men and into the next alley to dart right into the direction of the police department.

She heard a whole turmoil behind her, but didn't stop running. Instead, she fortified her movement with the Force and darted around the next corner, where she already bumped into a police officer. Perfect. She was doubting she had managed to lose them and so she could pursue a fully different approach. A good old performance.

"Officer...help! I need help! They are after me!" she desperately called out, her performance absolutely convinced as she also applied the slightest hint of the Force to ensure he'll have no chance but to believe her. "Miss...I- Of course", he seemed taken by surprise, but nonetheless fumbled for his com. "I've got a 32 here. Need reinforcements in sector KN-8 asap" he stated firmly, before he immediately turned towards her, his expressions softening.

"Miss, get inside the station, I'll-", but before the first blaster bolt already zoomed right past them. Kriff. "They're here!" she remarked in a panicking manner, while she was actually nothing but pissed. What now? The officer didn't seem like he was actually capable of handling the situation on his own and so she planned on helping...but how subtle did she have to be?!

The officer reached for his own blaster and started shooting while shoving her behind him, which only made her shake her head. Idiot. Well, admittedly she played her helpless role well, but considering her actual situation it was kinda funny. While being positioned behind him, she reached out with the Force and deflected some bolts mid-air without the officer noticing, but she soon figured out she had to do more.

Again, she reached out and simply yanked one attacker off his feet and on his knees, so that he dropped his own blaster, too, which was probably good for them. Still, there was a lot of shouting involved and slowly more officers came rushing in and Hailee felt immediately bad for having triggered such an event. All she could do now was protecting the policemen from behind while acting all innocent.

@Xorism

 

[Caelian]

Caelian's efforts paid off as the rookie cop spilled the beans and went on to give up more information on the target. A little force persuasion went a long way sometimes, alongside a menacing stare to show that he really did mean business. The Echani's hand held the table firmly as they continued their discussion in earnest, to ensure that any little bit of knowledge would be gleaned.

The Falleen wasn't looking for any trouble and continued to leak like a sieve. "Look, I didn't know Inst Ructor very well, like I said he wasn't working with us for very long, but I know he had other jobs too." The stern look on Caelian's face was clearly hinting for the man to continue.

"We overheard him on a call once talking about taking shifts as a security guard at some warehouse on the other side of town, uh Bronson Shipping or something, I'm not certain. It sounded more like he was just needing some extra money, you know? Till he started with the crazy talk. Next thing you know, he's talking about digging, and honestly we kinda stopped listening after that."

Caelian's face subtly tensed up as the man spoke while trying to avoid giving the impression that he was taking this extremely seriously, and if we're being honest, he was perhaps even nervous. Whatever the hell this guy was up to, it sounded both dangerous and risky to go after alone.

A feint commotion could be heard outside amongst the other loud noises, machinery and peoples, which would usually drown itself out. That was until the very distinct sound of blaster fire caught their attention, as Caelian looked directly at the rookie clerk, who in turn panicked and ran to hide. He himself had seen battle once or twice by now, and a sporadic shot or so wasn't enough to rattle him any more than to add to his curiosity.

Standing up slowly, he snuck the small bag of credits from the table into his pocket while the other wasn't paying attention while smirking to himself. The officer's lunch wouldn't go to waste either, as he picked up the small plate and turned to walk out of the small street restaurant, eagerly helping himself to the tasty morsels.

As expected, the police had responded with a number of officers drawing their firearms and racing around the corner into the alleyway to engage the assailants. Caelian for his part just wanted to enjoy the meal and watch from a distance, and that was exactly what he would do. It was at this point that he turned the corner and stopped dead in his tracks, mouth half full of food and mouth agape.

Of all the people in the galaxy to run into, of course it had to be her.

Things had been, how would you say, complicated since they had last been together that fateful day on Garos. Many things had changed, both physically scarred upon his body, mentally upon his mind and even spiritually. He caught himself wanting to immediately turn and leave, not wanting her to see him the way he was now. How would he even begin to help her understand that what had happened was because of his own weakness, and yet he had to stay.

Part of him worried about what Raze had said about her and what effect that might have lingering on him, spending time with her again would certainly raise eyebrows for some, while others might not care. Still, in light of the situation unfolding somewhere on the planet, it wouldn't hurt to have someone who he knew could fight along for the ride. They likely wouldn't see an eye on everything, the Killik situation would probably take priority over anything else should he be questioned.

Reluctantly, he waited at the end of the alley, plate in hand and now leaning against the wall eating. He would watch and wait and see how things developed before deciding his next move.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

Through slightly gritted teeth, a hiss escaped her as one blaster bolt only barely missed her after she had focused her concentration on the two thugs in the back. She was still behind the provisional cover of the police officer, however it was getting increasingly more difficult to micro-manage the battle of blasters without having them notice she was influencing the outcome with the Force.

But why did she even need to hide her force-sensitivity? She had picked up the rumors and wanted to investigate the case, so there was no actual need for her to hide it, right? The gang members were also well aware of the fact that she was far from innocent and so there was no need for continuing the charade.

Well, maybe she should have just dealt with them in the alley on her own, but then again asking for help had been a smart move, because she had already learnt that there were more and more criminals ending up in that alley. She had managed to prevent any losses on the side of the law until now, but that was exactly when the officer right in front of her was hit by a stray bullet.

He cried out in pain as the blaster bolt zoomed through his shoulder, immediately cauterizing the entry site, but destroying all the loins. Hailee immediately yanked him out of the way and behind a dumpster to their left before she grabbed her blasted and started shooting as well.

More and more time passed and blaster bolts came zooming from each direction, however there was suddenly a moment in which time seemingly stood still. Hailee froze up where she was, confusedly glancing around because she was suddenly feeling a very familiar presence within the Force. One, she hasn't felt in quite some time and one she was absolutely not expecting here, but it was as if fate had connected them once again.

Without even needing to see him, she could simply...feel it. And she had no idea how to feel about it. It had been a while and they had went through a complete emotional rollercoaster, before she hadn't actually heard much from him. She had been overly busy with missions and there had probably been whole systems between them, so how the kriff had they ended up in the same spot again? Or was she hallucinating?! The uncertainty almost drove her crazy, but she couldn't afford losing too much focus right now.

A few moments later, the last of the thugs unconsciously fell to the ground and a brief silence followed, that was online broken by the Offcier who announced that this had been every last one of them. She let out a relieved breath, but immediately turned her attention towards the injured officer to her right. "Stay calm. I've got this" she softly said to him while her heart was still racing thought. He stared at her wide eyed, but Hailee wasted no time before she carefully pressed her palms onto the injury before she closed her eyes and concentrated.

The wound slowly closed itself and she finally stumbled back, obviously a bit drained. "There...thanks for the fire power though" she gave him a smile before turning around and looking exactly into the direction of an almost stupidly familiar Echani...How? Without waiting for a reply or dealing with the policemen (who were busy talking anyway) now, she started walking in his direction, a thousand feelings immediately stirred up.

So this wasn't a hallucination after all....but still, how the hell?! She frowned confusedly, even slightly shaking her head in disbelief before her lips turned into a smirk. However, the closer she got, the faster she suddenly realized that Caelian was...somehow changed. The first thing she noticed was that there was something in his gaze that was different...definitely not...right.

Next her gaze fell upon his...MISSING EAR?! Her mouth shot open and she stopped for few seconds, staring at him in shock before she managed to keep on walking. There were still a few meters between them, so that the various new scars became apparent too and the pit of her stomach immediately started churning. "I-...Caelian?!" She was actually speechless. Not that he was here, but apparently a lot had happened and she immediately assumed that she might have been the reason for that and that thought absolutely made her sick. She swallowed hard, her throat was completely dry and she stopped approximately 2 meters away from him.

@Xorism

 

[Caelian]

It didn't take very long for the criminals to discover that they possessed neither the fire-power nor the mettle to win the fight against the police, let alone with a Jedi present. From his safe vantage point, he witnessed the swift end to their little insurrection and again how quickly Hailee would transition from warrior to healer. At least this time she was looking after someone who hadn't tried to kill her some time before, he mused with a smile.

Internally, he reacted differently to how he stoically presented on the outside. He hadn't exactly made much of an effort to hide himself from her, and yet the simple realisation that they would soon reunite, after so much had occurred since Garos, was difficult. Part of him again wasn't quite ready to come face to face with her, a battered and bruised pride combined with the disfigurement left much to be desired he felt.

It felt like a stone whisked within his stomach as she approached and begun to recognise him. A blind man could see the subtle reaction she gave to his new-found appearance, which only made him step back and slightly turn his face away from her, disappointingly. All the missions and fights that he had undertaken since they last met failed to compare with how he felt now, his normally charming self replaced with a quiet, colder husk of a man.

After she spoke his name, he instinctively turned back to look her in the eye and speak hers, only for a muffled sound to replace those beautiful words. His mouth closed, deceptively hiding the uncovered, the main source of his pain and suffering. It's burnt and dismembered remains lingered as a constant reminder of the master's justice. His eyes briefly flushed as he gritted his teeth, frustratingly.

Without speaking another word, she would hear his voice again inside her mind. "Hailee." He was careful to compartmentalise her access to his mind, but in a way that they would be able to communicate with ease. A symphonic series of sensations rushed through his concious as their minds brushed against each other.

Try as he might, he wouldn't be able to hide all the pain and hurt that coursed through his heart, nor the anger that simmered below the surface. She would at least sense that none of this was aimed toward her, if anything it would be shame and disgust of himself.

While they stood there for what felt like an eternity, Caelian noticed the number of police continued to increase in their general direction. Breaking from the trance, the true purpose of his journey flashed in recollection as he gazed back out where he came from.

Calmly and with purpose, he simply said to her, "cover your head and follow me." Raising his own hood, he turned and slipped through the crowd to get away from the activity that she had generated. He was looking for some kind of warehouse somewhere in town, but all he had was a name. Speak with the wrong person, and he'd risk tipping them off, stand around looking at every sign and likewise.

He knew she'd have questions, and he knew she wouldn't like the answers. His heart palpitated, distraught, as he made his way into a quieter alleyway which might lead in the right direction, he couldn't tell.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

There was so much going on in her head...so many thoughts, so many memories and emotions that were immediately stirred back up and it was hard to stay focused at all. All that had happened in the last few minutes was forgotten and despite feeling a bit drained, it was as if someone was ripping out her stomach right now.

Her lips were half parted and her throat still absolutely dry while she stared at him. Her body was still moving until she had gotten close enough to see it all. He was...so changed, yet obviously those familiar features faintly brought up at least some good memories from their fun day and night back on Garos...

What the kriff had happened in the meantime though? It seemed like it was ages ago while the memory was absolutely vivid at the same time. She was worried, deeply worried even, because it seemed like while she had made herself useful, he had been...beaten up or something and that made her absolutely sick and furious at the same time...

But no...she couldn't feel that way. She had met a few Sith and she knew how twisted many were. She wasn't trying to be pretentious or prejudiced and as well as she knew Caelian, he wasn't one of that kind, however she knew how absolutely good they were when it came to getting under your skin...

She didn't want to be swallowed by those terrible feelings of guilt, but it only make sense: What if they had punished him, because they had had a good time? She was absolutely speechless and he was right about leaving that scene before starting a conversation, but she still wasn't fully sure whether she wasn't just caught in a dream or something.

Why was he here? And why did he choose telepathy as means of a conversation? Were they being watched? Spied on? Was someone listening? Were they in a damn holonet reality show and someone would soon tell her that she was being fooled right now?!

Without a word, she pulled up her hood and followed him though. She didn't even know why, because this might as well have been a trap too, but her body just started walking without any hesitation, her brain completely overstrained by everything that was going on inside.

She really had no clue about how to feel or what to say, but as soon as they reached the alley, she blurted out: "What are you doing here?! And what...the hell happened?!". Her voice was obviously lowered, but there were a thousand emotions behind it, like a thunderstorm that was just about to start

@Xorism

 

[Caelian]

The alley was wide and open, barely any people in sight, and yet Caelian felt the walls pull down and surround him. A blackened cataclysm collapsed upon his chest as he heard her voice raised, showered in a complex rain of emotion. He couldn't face her, his own thoughts racing in computation, and yet struggling still to learn how to answer her query. They had spoken so freely last time, shared opinions and warmth, and that felt like the last true time that he had been genuinely happy.

Her words vehemently pierced the armour of his heart, held so hidden and clouded away. He stood still, motionless, as he thought back to their last day together. She would be able to feel his emotional state change as they spoke telepathically, as the peace and joy drained from his face as one might upon their last breath.

"It's.....complicated." It was all he could muster at first. The first part of her question was much easier to answer, he was after all on a bug hunt, but it quickly became overshadowed by the latter. He knew she was set against the empire, and revealing the truth was just going to make that chasm deeper.

Their time together had been brief but passionate, their budding situation could blossom beautifully or be snuffed out in a whimper, and he feared that she would never understand why he still couldn't leave after she would learn the truth. He silently hoped that she wouldn't force him to answer in depth in the middle of this alleyway, lest he completely break down in public. It was difficult enough to speak without a voice, but the force ensured that the full spectrum of emotion was conveyed.

Still, it would be impossible to hide that he could no longer speak. Try as he might wish to lie, he was too attuned to his emotional state and would see right through it. "I said something I shouldn't and the price was my tongue. That is why I cannot speak to you now."

Even back on Onderon she had questioned why he remained so committed to the empire. Back then, to him, it had been an amusing thought experiment they had shared. He had never wavered in his commitment and oath of allegiance to the empire and the Sith, and yet in spite of that here he stood falleen for a Jedi.

It hadn't made sense then, and it still didn't now, he'd simply wish to bury the problem and move on, but yet it seemed to follow him everywhere he went. Bedding anyone and everything that came his way hadn't changed the way he thought of her, if anything the shallowness had made him come to terms with the depth that she had shown him.

The simple truth was that he didn't want to choose between her and the empire, even if they couldn't co-exist, he wanted both. She wouldn't make him choose between them, he reasoned, she wanted this as much as he did. His ambition and power would grow, and she would remain by his side until no one would challenge his loyalty again. It would be perfect, he thought.

His mind twisted like a pretzel, logic unbound and flawed to suit his needs. The Caelian she remembered, held captive by his own survival instincts, revealing himself only briefly. In answer to her first question, he responded with a calmed alertness.

"I was investigating a suspicious rumour on this world, but have since under covered what I believe to be a joined plot of some kind. If I hurry, I might be able to stop it before it comes into fruition." After a brief few seconds of processing, he then quietly added. "I could use your help, if you're up for it. The joined are a threat to us all."

Somewhere over yonder, there was a warehouse they would have to stalk and locate without being discovered. It would be difficult to determine what they were doing without breaking in, but that was a problem for then Caelian, not now Caelian.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

Without any apparent reason her heart began speeding. There was absolutely no immediate threat in sight, neither was it the adrenaline from the previous shooting in the other alley. It was something completely different and something impossible to grasp. It was as if there was a dark, impenetrable shadow hovering over them, like a dark grey rain cloud that was announcing an unpredictable upcoming storm...

But why? Why was there a wild vortex of emotions inside her? Why was it as if an emotional battle had already erupted even though they had barely exchanged any words? Why were the circumstances of their meeting so...unspeakably weird right now? A thousand questions raced through her head while they walked and walked until they had reached that deserted alley. That was when, again, he used telepathy to communicate.

The first thing he said there left her just as unsatisfied as the beginning. It's complicated?! Everything between them was admittedly complicated and their situation would never not be complicated, but why did he keep his reply so unbelievably vague? "Complicated?" she thus blurted out, obviously irritated by his answer, arms now crossed in front of her chest. Was he starting to play a stupid game now? And why was he not opening his mouth?!

Searching for his eyes, it was as if nothing made sense right now. Starting at how the kriff they had managed to run into each other coincidentally here and what had happened in those weeks and even months that everything was so...different right now? She didn't really recognize him in those very moments and she was hoping he was planning on explaining what the hell had happened, but it felt as though her chest was being crushed right now and so was a part of her heart.

There was quite a silence that followed until he finally expressed words that completely made her speechless. A horrible shiver was sent down her spine as she slowly began to realize that he meant that quite literally as he had not tried to open his mouth once. In contrast to that, her own mouth immediately gaped open while she was staring at him with a blank expression of horror, the pitof her stomach churning and that compressed feeling around her chest intensifying. "You can't be serious", she whispered in terror, he eyes widened.

It was not just her chest, but her whole body was literally aching after that horrible revelation. Her throat was completely dry and it was as if the air had left her lungs. She was searching for words but couldn't find anything right to say and the atmosphere just got more and more oppress. "You're telling me they took your tongue and you...stayed?!" She asked bewilderedly, already knowing that it must have been a Sith who had done that after all...and that was when those feelings guilt immediately came back. "Was that...related to us?". Just speaking out those words tore her apart because the imagination was absolutely horrifying, but she wanted an answer now. What had he done? Or what had they done?

He was suddenly starting to talk about the mission but no, this absolutely had to wait. It sounded like the two of them had discovered the same trace, but there was no way she could discuss any details right now...

@Xorism

 

[Caelian]

Caelian's nostrils flared as he deeply inhaled, maybe it was asking too much of her to understand his reasoning. The dead serious expression he held clearly showed that he was, in fact, serious. It had been a struggle operating without his voice, yes there was telepathy, but that was only useful in certain situations. He had already found some difficulties acting out in missions where it was better to hide his affiliation with the force and well, that would be a dead give away.

He nodded to her question. Of course, he stayed even if he was distraught at what had occurred. The empire was his home and he had sworn allegiance all those years ago, to forgo that would be turning his back against the very people who took him in and gave him everything.

The tone of her question was hypocritical though, after all the Jedi weren't exactly merciful in their exacting standards either.

"What would you have me do, Hailee? Run away and live in hiding the rest of my life? The empire doesn't take kindly to traitors, I have heard what happens to those who try. No, I cannot give them the pleasure of failing now, for better or worse the empire is my home and I must live with the consequences of my actions."

His tone dipped low as his voice faded. He could sense the drip of guilt eating away at her concious, and he couldn't help but wonder how to continue without breaking her heart.

"No, I spoke out of line without thinking and incurred the wrath of the wrong person. I should have known better, it is my fault to bear, not yours." He technically spoke the truth, avoiding the reason that the discussion happened in the first place that led him there.

The burnt flesh sitting inside his mouth served as a reminder of that fateful day.

He sighed and inhaled deeply again. "I didn't want you to see me like this, but... if I keep my head down and don't make any noise, everything will be fine. Okay? You don't have to worry.."

Once he had earned the trust and loyalty back from his superiors, he hoped that they'd leave him alone to pursue his own interests once more. But whether Hailee was there when he was, if he was able to do it, was still up in the air.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

Obviously she was studying him closely and it somehow seemed like he was...disappointed or perhaps even a little annoyed by her lack of understanding. Her emotions started boiling up and her soft expressions soon turned into a dangerous glare. She didn't want this conversation to escalate, but it seemed like the emotions were about to run high.

As soon as his head started this slight nod, she was actually getting furious. She was staring at him in blank disbelief that soon turned into rage. "You...can't be serious" she breathlessly whispered again, still holding back even though she had literally shouted that right in his face.

Her breathing was growing faster and her heartbeat was accelerating, too. "So what the kriff are you saying?! So now that you've failed, you need to prove yourself?! Become an even better Sith?" There now was venom in her voice, "Do you want to be the one taking a tongue the next time?!". She knew she was bombarding him with a series of difficult, perhaps even mean questions and yet she really wanted answers.

It didn't feel good to confront him like that, but she had no idea what to say or what to believe anymore. While they had gotten along and had some actual fun, after having an extremely deep and meaningful conversation, she had really thought that they had reached some kind of an understanding, but this Caelian did indeed seem changed...

And she didn't like that...it was actually breaking her heart.

She was shaking her head by now, unable to believe how he so casually described that because he said the wrong things to the wrong person, he had lost his tongue. His attempt to appease her that followed even made it worse, and when he finally said that he would keep his head down and this way, everything would be fine, she literally exploded.


"Who are you?" she asked, but it was rather a hiss. "I don't recognize you...you sound like a mistreated charhound that comes crawling back to his master after he had repeatedly hit him. Have you no....self respect?! You call it loyalty or whatsoever, but is that truly what you want your life to be like?". Expressing those words truly hurt her too and she could even feel tears swelling in her eyes.

She knew she had attacked him more than she had planned to do. Her emotions got the best of her and she couldn't take those words back. She was shaking by now though, a shiver creeping down her spine while she had no idea what to think any more. "I'm...sorry", she breathed speechlessly, her body collapsing against the wall behind her before she sank to the ground, a thousand thoughts racing through her mind while she desperately tried to bring them into any kind of an order.

@Xorism

 

[Caelian]

It was fortunate indeed that there was nobody in the alleyway, else they would have heard only one side of the conversation and a mute man visibly and emotionally upset but otherwise quiet. There was a tense frustration that lingered in the air as she spoke.

He stood there in silence as she threw hurtful accusation after accusation his way, taken back by the venom laced diatribe. His mouth opened to speak yet nothing but dead air delivered. How could he even begin to answer that question if he didn't even know the answer himself? Was he angry that it happened? Yes. Did he know what would come next? No...

If that outburst from her surprised him, the eruption that came next was on an entirely different level.

His eyes caught the visage of the blonde Jedi he knew so well, but Caelian couldn't see her now. A stranger stood before him, lashing out emotionally, something he had yet to see her do. He'd watch and wait as her expression turned sorrowful, without comment, until she apologised and fell to the floor.

Had he really changed, though? Physically, sure, but he didn't really feel different. Perhaps his goals had changed, once he was a carefree champion who came and went as he pleased. These days, he yearned for the freedom he once enjoyed. Service had replaced leisure, punishment replaced pleasure.

Who am I indeed. Venom begot venom as he struck back. "Have you even stopped to consider the possibility that I'm trying to protect you from something worse? Fine, you want the truth so bad? There are some within the order that believe that our relationship is a liability, a weakness, that I would choose over the Sith. The part of me you like so much is why I am being punished so, for daring to hold onto it."

He stood there quietly in thought for a what seemed like forever, even if only a few moments passed.

"I once asked you if you thought I was a bad person. Do you remember what you told me?" He knew that she would, how could she not? The distant memory, "You're not a bad person. There are just a few people who are truly bad..." echoed in his memory.

His neutral tone compiled a complicated thought for her to ponder whilst criticising his actions. "Would you act any differently in my shoes, Hailee? What are you going to do if the Grand Master finds displeasure in something you do, would you run away? Or stay and try to make things right? And don't tell me it's different just because it's your family, not mine. "

She might sense that her words had stung, he didn't know yet how they would affect him. Attempting to hold himself together, he thought back to her incredulous question from earlier.

Caelian bent his knees and lowered himself to her level with a small smile plastered to his face. "Hailee..." his hands moved towards her face and slowly wiped the tears that had begun to dwell under her eyes. "Did you just call me a bitch?" His emotional state ran along a knifes edge, dutifully balanced between returning in kind or ignoring it. Some part of him just couldn't help but make light of the difficult situation, and unsure of how she would respond.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

With so many questions racing through her head it was hard to focus on either of them. Her own words kept echoing though her own mind as well and they sent a wave of agony across her heart. The pit of her stomach felt twisted, her throat still overly dry and the first hot tear came running down her cheek.

Where did this all come from? Why had she chosen such hurtful words? Was that this toxic tendency inside her, that was just trying to push him away as fast as possible, so that they could just leave this emotional mess behind and go fix themselves first? Was it this agonizing part within her, that simply couldn't believe that they had once shared such intimate moments? That she had allowed herself to be so vulnerable again?

She felt terrible for having uttered those accusations that were blinded but the hatred she felt against the Empire and yet she knew that hatred was wrong. Why had she chosen to help the enemy? Because she had seen the human behind the dark and crimson facade. She had refused to believe that the Sith was beyond saving and yet his blind loyalty was unbelievably frustrating for her.

His words shot back and cut her deeply while she just silently sat on the hard, concrete ground. Her emerald eyes were covered with a layer of tears while she desperately tried to calm herself down. It had been ages since she had lashed out like this and yet she couldn't even grasp how he could emotionally trigger her like this.

Protect her? Well...he probably had a point with that. The Sith were not known for their merciful nature and yet he was one of them. Different, yet somehow the same as he stood behind them, his loyalty unbent despite his feelings for her. Perhaps that was a good thing, but at the same time it was the reason for this emotional catastrophe...

He mercilessly reminded her of the conversation they once had on Onderon and she vividly remembered the exact same scene. "You're still not a bad person...you're not even close to it. This loyalty however...I don't get it" she stated rather flatly, a cold undertone in her voice.

He then turned his questions around and appealed to her own morality, however while his words sank in, she left it unanswered for now. Of course she would stay. The Jedi were her family, her whole life. She wanted to help, she wanted to do good and she would never give up on that. They had taught her so much and she was eager to learn much more. It was her purpose, her calling and she was striving for that peace the light offered. "They...hurt you...mutilated you even". Could you easily turn this around, when all the Sith ever did was striving for chaos and destruction in their twisted ways to gain more power? How would his values change in the future, when he had already changed so much in a few weeks, so that the blonde Echani had almost been unrecognizable just a few moments ago?

And yet Caelian was back. Suddenly, the man she knew so well was crouching right in front of her, his words soft and carefully placed, yet unbelievably powerful, as those eight words smashed all the tension that had been in the atmosphere withing a few seconds. She glared at him as if motionlessly frozen for a few more seconds until his skin softly grazed her skin, carefully wiping away those tears.

Her body stopped shaking and the tears stopped. Her gaze softened, but when she opened her lips she couldn't find any words. Maybe the man she had once found was still inside there somewhere? Closing her mouth again, she simply reached out and pulled him closer, her arms wrapped around his neck as she just wanted to hold him close for a few seconds.

Her heart was still racing in her chest and even though a smile had already began to form on his lips, it took a few more sobs until her lips finally turned into a smirk as well. "No...I mean it wasn't my intention" she faintly clarified, muttering against the crook of his neck as her face was pressed right into it. She couldn't help but to chuckle slightly as she shook her head. Of course he had manged to lighten this extreme tense mood with one single question. She pulled back, searching his light blue eyes while she blinked away the rest of the tears, before she repeated:"I'm so sorry...". Again, her words carried so much pain, so much regret as she was not just sorry for all the terrible things that had happened to him, but for the words that had been just as painful.

@Xorism

 

[Caelian]

He held her tightly as they embraced once more, not entirely sure what to make of what had just happened. His face lay across the flat of her head, breathing slowly as she calmed down before pulling back to look each other directly in the eyes. There was genuine sorrow in those emeralds, and his grin quickly disappeared, not entirely sure how or what to say next.

"We're not too different, you know, we both want to help people. You have your fancy pants healing and I have my ways, but if we aren't there, then who will be?"

His feelings were confused, but genuine. The dark side was a powerful force to be reckoned with, but Caelian was cautiously optimistic that he would be strong enough to resist being dominated by it. Whether that was true or not, well, that remained to be seen.

His gaze drifted across from her face and down the alleyway, catching a glance of a passer-by slipping in and out of the nearby building without making contact. He wanted to offer some reassurance that it would never happen again, that he'd be safe, and she'd never have to worry about him being hurt. Deep down, he knew that he could never truly know that the promise could be kept. To embrace being Sith was a dangerous path, both against the Dark Side and the various machinations that were inhabited by it and did its bidding.

Truthfully, he didn't know how things would turn out, but at the same time, he tried not to dwell on that part too much. There were too many unknowns, and he was far too powerless to force his way around the place as he'd like to. As much as it would likely disappoint Hailee to hear, it was becoming all too clear to Caelian that there would be times when he'd have to do things that he personally disagreed with, or even hated doing. That thought was a hard pill to swallow, but it certainly was something that she would struggle to understand.

Maybe in time, she'd come to accept that she wouldn't always like everything about him or his affiliation with the Sith. Maybe she wouldn't. If they were to go forward, they would have to find some kind of compromise, or else nothing would work between them. Now there was an uncomfortable discussion.

His eyes were adrift in thought and a little bit lost as he wondered how to help her understand. "I want you in my life, Hailee, I really do. I can accept your flaws and strengths." He paused for a moment, holding his breath. Both of them were emotionally charged, and it was unclear where it was going to end up, but he felt ready for some cards to be laid out on the table. "But can you say the same about mine?"

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

She was immediately taken back to their first meeting on Onderon all this time ago. Even if it hadn't been more than a few weeks or perhaps a few months, it felt like an eternity ago since apparently so much had happened in the meantime. The two had once again changed ever so slightly, but the situation was somehow still the same.

His embrace somehow fixed parts she hadn't even known to be broken and a warmth immediately flooded her body. She felt terrible for the things she had thrown right in his face without any hesitation or reflection as her emotions had once again gotten the best of her and yet didn't even seem too angry.

He was understanding as always, a light joke on his lips and his embrace so warm and wholesome. She didn't want to let go and perhaps she didn't have to right now, as their conversation could easily continue like this, but they both chose to pull back after all and staring right in those beautiful blue eyes brought back other memories, too.

What he said was absolutely true, but she couldn't answer his deep, yet rather rhetorical question right away. Instead, there was silence that followed, gazes still met midair and even though the tension had faded, there were countless emotions in the atmosphere.

Her heartbeat slowed down and she sought peace and calmness within the Force, so that with every second that passed, she felt a bit better, but it still seemed like there were a thousand questions in the room that needed answering.["I'm so sorry for what I said" she repeated, her voice nothing more than a faint whisper, but she felt like this was the most important piece of information he needed right now.

Her right hand slowly wandered up to his cheek and she softly ran her thumb across his skin before she cupped his cheek. It was right then when he telepathically conveyed another powerful message, that left he'd speechless yet again, but the question he posed in the end was even more complicated.

Could she? Could she accept that he was constantly dedicating his life to the Empire and that he had commited himself to the dark side? What did the two of them even have? This was no casual enemies to lovers trope. ..it had started off with perhaps one of the deepest conversations she had ever had and time had proven that the two of them got along wonderfully...yet it had obviously caused him much pain and suffering and well...she had been the reason for that. She was also expecting that the Jedi Order would find out about that, too, and while loving someone wasn't necessarily forbidden, they wouldn't approve of that, would they?

She had dedicated her life to the Order and the light and she wouldn't risk that. She wouldn't stop helping people and trying to preserve life while fighting back those Sith who would try to threaten it. That was an absolute fact. What if they'd end up on the battlefield again? She'd fight him...

'This question is difficult. As a person, I...I accept you for who you are. You've shown me the real you. The real Caelian who is kind, gentle, yet adventurous and fun. It was not the soldier who fought for the Empire on Onderon, because he received orders'. She let out a deep sigh, using telepathy to communicate as it was somewhat easier.

'I also know you're flaws and quirks and I absolutely adore the latter...as much as I'd love to say yes, I can't fully agree, because as a Jedi, I've swore to interfere whenever it is needed. What if you'd be asked to invade yet another planet? You're hot the kind of a Sith who'd go around slaughter civilians, yet you'd fight the Jedi in your way. You'd be forced to ask me because you're Empire would try expanding yet again. This is still something I can't grasp...and I would be the one facing you and trying to stop you, too...'. He might have known all of that already, but it still hurt to speak the hard truth.

@Xorism

 

[Caelian]

Caelian smiled meekly as she apologized, accepting it without hesitation. It wouldn't save them from the difficult conversation to follow but she would see it calmed him.

He could only stand there quietly as she started to answer his difficult question. It could have been simple like it was for him but she qualified her answer. It was clear as day that she liked him too and her words confirmed as much but yet the fact that he was still loyal to the empire appeared to be an obstacle she struggled to overcome.

Caelian took a deep breath as his mind raced with how to respond to her comment. "That cuts both ways, Hailee." Just because he could accept that she was a Jedi, didn't mean he liked it. "What if you were faced with an impossible decision, where you had to choose between sacrificing yourself and the ones you were trying to save? Could you make that choice knowing the hurt that those you left behind would suffer? that I would suffer?"

The Jedi were famous for throwing themselves into danger to protect others and Hailee seemed to be just the type to volunteer for such things. Putting herself first was the sensible option but she was more likely to dive headfirst into danger when the situation called for it. It didn't matter who it was for or the reasons behind it, she would be gone and that would be the end of it.

She wasn't wrong though about their responsibilities, if fate ever saw that they would oppose each other on the battlefield there would be added pressure to the fight. Not only because of what she had said but the likely many eyes that would be watching, spying to see any hints of deceit or betrayal. It would be difficult if not impossible to keep both loves in his life happy, the balance inequitable and prone to disappointment.

He didn't want to give up either, she knew that. The torture in his facial expressions elicited these feelings without it needing to be said. The whistling sounds of the bustling city were a calming sense of ambiance drowning out anything they said in the alley. The pair hadn't really been there that long but if you had told him that they'd been there an eternity, Caelian might have believed them.

Hailee wouldn't leave the Jedi willingly, even if they mistreated her and Caelian wasn't about to leave the Sith either. Though she hadn't asked him to consider it, the possibility that they would both end up staring each other down with sabers drawn was an added complication.

A somber tone shifted in his telepathic thoughts as they cradled together and he reflected on the earlier part of her statement about accepting him personally. "Is that not enough? just the two of us. The Sith, the Jedi, they're a part of us but does that have to come between what we could be?"

Maybe she'd come around and see things his way, perhaps she would end things there. He'd laid out what he wanted, but that didn't matter if she didn't also. It was painful to ask but it had to be said and if she wanted to continue this discussion she would have to avoid avoiding it.

"Hailee, just tell me what you want. I can take it." he lied through his gritted teeth, hoping to keep his composure. Her emerald gaze ever holding him transfixed, enamored by her words and body language.

The wounds and torture he had suffered in recent months had been grave and gruesome, but despite everything he had retained his gregarious nature and remained hopeful. But as Hailee held the strings to his heart between her fingers, was the worst yet to come?

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

Again, it felt like an eternity passed, even if it were just a few seconds. He surely took some time to ponder on what had been said by her for a few moments, but it clearly wasn't as long as it felt like. Was there even a way to respond to that at all? It almost felt an impossible conversation as there was no real solution in sight.

Her eyes rested on his, genuine sadness mixed with a hint of quiet resignation. Had it been fate that their paths had been destined to cross again right here here now? Was this some kind of cruel joke of the Force? It had let her here and him as well, so it was as if they had to indulge in such a conflicted conversation yet again.

As he finally answered, she could see it in his eyes that this wrecked him just like it wrecked her. How much more pain would this cause both of them? It wasn't actually helpful and the questions he soon posed were of a rhetorical nature once again. He knew the answers to them. She was certain of it. Yet he used them to empathize one particular thing again.

She lowered her gaze and focused on thr ground for a few moments, letting out a quiet sigh. The air that left her lungs somehow seemed as if on fire while her burning chest felt compressed all over again. Wasn't there a simple answer to that next question? He had already gotten hurt and she also knew that if she would stay, she'd play with fire as well.

She didn't want to get any closer to the dark abyss and she knew he had it deep inside him. There was nothing she could do about that and while she might have been able to accept that, she couldn't possibly accept that he'd step on a battlefield of an invaded planet once again, taking the territory over by force because he had received orders or anything.

Also, she had dedicated her life to the Jedi Order and the light and he was a constant threat to that, so how could she possibly accept that? When she had first met him, she had seen that there was goodness inside him. He was just Caelian, she had enjoyed the time spent with him so much, but was that really the real him?

Even those doubts flared up again. This would never work, even if it was real and nothing else, would it? She couldn't bear looking at him and so she averted her gaze again, this time focusing on a man that was just walking by at the end of the alley. "This is not about what I want..." she quietly replied. This was about so much more. She couldn't hold on to something that destructive, especially because it was making her sway.

"You've came here with a reason and so did I. We both wanted to help someone, and what have we achieved? We got distracted once again. There are lives at stake and we got lost in a hopeless discussion. I can't give you answer now" she looked back up to him, deep sadness in her eyes, "But we have to go. I know this here is important, too, but we're letting so many down. Let us save those people first. They need us". Would this prove anything? Would this prove that he, too, was capable of doing something good? Of doing what was right? It was selfish to even put this conversation in front of the actual mission and she was a bit angry at herself from not having been able to stay focused. Would this change anything for them though? Maybe. Maybe she'd gain some clarity.

@Xorism

 

[Caelian]

Every living being that has ever existed, experienced pain at some point in their lives. Some enjoy a luxurious lifestyle and their pain may seem trivial to others, but it still etches and carves its way through their being in a way only they understand. Others live a wretched lifestyle and dwell in misery on a daily basis, their lot in life is to suffer and they exist solely to survive to the end of the day.

There are those whose pain comes in a physical form, a serrated blade plies flesh from bone, muscle, and blood torn asunder in a vicious, violent endeavor. Caelian bore the marks of such cruelty, the tongue stripped out and burnt with malice and hate. An ear carved with wicked scars to show. These things cause immediate and immense pain, doused with time and pain, but heal and mark.

Then there is emotional damage, this is by far the worst of the lot. Its causes are as varied as there are thoughts or feelings, none are the same and yet all can cripple in an instant. An emotional bond can be formed by any means, often by shared times, attachments, or trauma and they can be built over a lifetime or in seconds.

The knife that buries itself in the heart of those inflicted seldom see it coming, although when they do it often increases the pain indescribably. Its edge carries the weight of words, actions, or lack thereof. Emotional pain can often be worse than physical pain as it can be carried for life, or burnt as fuel to push an individual in another direction. It can be caused even when the origin meant no harm, or even if the victim did not see it as such themselves. Buried within, deep down and festering like an open wound even if they themselves hoped to close that chapter of their life in peace.

Was it a curse? The ill of fate had struck a chord between the pair that day. An eventful bond formed by violence and peace, together borne and revealing. The inner demons are released and the mind wanders, hoping and thinking of what may exist but yet be impossible to reach. Hailee yearned for the man she could see deep down beneath the veneer of Sith, a man that struggled for his own existence amongst the rest of him. Her emerald gaze stripped away the hate and fear, the terrible deeds of what may come, and saw who he really was, someone she could love. And yet she refused to be fooled by what her soul could pierce, and see through. The etchings of a future faded away as she closed the door to what may be and pulled herself into the present.

A painful emotional wound formed at that moment, hidden beneath a mask of calm and silence.

He could see it in her eyes, her answer, and her tone. His own azure eyes stared blankly momentarily, before shifting away to avert his gaze as she did. Listening intently as she spoke and reminded him of the mission he had originally embarked upon before stumbling into each other. Looking back and catching her eyes once more he nodded quietly as his mind drifted back toward the mission.

"Come, this way. The warehouse is a few more blocks away but it should be easy to spot with some heavy machinery around."

Though perhaps she didn't want to speak about it now, he would continue to be distracted by it whilst they walked side by side. Theirs was a complex situation and yes he had paid a price for it but that had not discouraged him from pursuing her. He could sense something there between them, although not entirely sure what it was. Her answer gave him hope that she herself still saw something worthy within him, a light beneath the waves that crashed all around his life and had ripped them apart.

She was light, he was dark, but, how could there be a night without a morning?

If it were outside their control then there was nothing he could do to change that, leaving matters up to fate and the force. He wanted to be able to be the man she wanted, the one she would choose. Perhaps in time, he could earn her trust and deserve her. Perhaps he would push her away even further. In the end, whether they liked it or not their lives had connected in ways only a few in the galaxy could understand.

"There, that one looks right," he said as they spied upon the suspicious warehouse. The outside was old and battered to draw no attention. The old ratchet machinery sat dormant outside but gave away the game as it clearly had been in recent use.

"There are guards around the ground floor, but doesn't look like any up above. You up for some acrobatics?" He pushed himself to smile, hoping to focus on the mission at hand. They'd have to sneak but perhaps they could get in undetected and determine what the heck these joiners were up to with all these machines. If they were building something underground, or worse, digging somewhere, that would turn this mission into a nightmare to quickly retreat from if things went south.

To get through alive, they would have to rely on each other and the force to overcome whatever was thrown at them. Hopefully, it wasn't one of them damn bugs, he thought to himself.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

There was a seemingly impenetrable silence that followed and with both, his beautifully azure, light eyes and her own vivid, emerald eyes, locked, it was like another eternity was passing by. Both were obviously busy brooding and reflecting, weighting their seemingly countless options eve though the overall situation was still rather hopeless and no solution would be perfect.

But what even was perfection? None of this mess was, but Hailee felt guilty about unraveling this discussion while lives were in danger and thus she had decided to pose a diffefent question, urging both of them to pause and get going even though the truth was that Hailee's thoughts didn't stop here. They kept racing and turning over and over again, even once they started walking.

She knee this was wrong and would never work the way she would want it to work, but was drawing a line and simply closing the chapter? Wasn't Caelian's immediate willingness to get going just another fragment of prove that despite him considering the Empire his home, he wasn't a bad person at all?

But then again, what was it? Where did his true loyalty come from? For his doings, he got punished, heavily even and yet he didn't sway at all. What was that proving? That for him, it woukd always be the Empire above all else? And then again, how could he justify everything the Empire and the Sith were doing?

How could he justify the invasions, the genocide, the ruthless murders, the violent annexations and the general belief that the dark side was any got? He was blind to his own corruption and he'd never overcome and wasn't it obvious that his feelings for her were blinding him, too?

From the inside, she could scream. From the outside, she tried not to show anything. She let out a quiet sigh but started walking into the indicated direction without saying a word and rather dwelled on her thoughts. What would have happened if she had just left him behind on the battlefield on Onderon?

She would have saved both of them plenty of trouble...but why had she decided against that? Actually, because the Force had somehow pointed her in that direction...She hadn't been able to fully tell why, but it felt right and now the Force had brought them back together again and she had no idea why. That was no coincidence and it confused her all over again..

Still, she couldn't keep drifting off like that and so she forced herself to focus on the read and the task ahead to empty her mind, but she was still only mildly successful for now. "Hmm?" she glanced up, needing some time to process his words, "Oh yes...absolutely. That makes sense. Let's find them and get them into safety" she nodded, her voice growing less absent before she forced herself to smile.

She quickly glanced back to him, but as the glance was too painful to bear, she looked back up and started coiling the Force around her before she started her first jump, targeting a ledge up above. It seemed like he was right about the absence of guards up there, but they wouldn't be able to tell for sure unless they were inside and so she didn't want to waste any time. After jumping, she pulled herself up and glanced down afterwards, sending him a quick, 'you coming?' before she started trying to open the window.

@Xorism