"Reports that even the ISC President Emryc Thorne himself and MorataCorp. CEO Ilana Morata are in attendance have trickled in, but we have been unable to confirm these reports. But we wouldn't be surprised—it feels as if the whole galaxy has tuned in to watch this momentous event, and the galaxy's most influential are no exception.
"We have a full cast of players for this year's Hutt Ball Tournament. First—on Team Yellow—we have returning Hutt Ball Champion, Krazy Kel! Krazy Kel helped lead the Blue Team to victory last year, but you might remember him as the player that tripped and fell unconscious in the middle of the match. Krazy Kel continues to live up to his name, beginning this year's match with a strategy that left many fans confused—standing in the field, not moving a muscle. Hutt Commentator Dabba roused the player by throwing a sandwich at his face, but some onlookers are still puzzled by this odd behavior, while others claim it was a brilliant strategy—a claim possibly further substantiated by the fact that Krazy Kel later used this sandwich to trip the Raging Bull." Mercifully, Elora did not mention the fact that Krazy Kel had tripped again, over the sandwich that Dabba had thrown at him.
"Next up on Team Yellow, we have Ratchet—" A young woman passing behind Elora on her way to the concession stand wolf whistled and moved her hands into the shape of a heart. Elora continued. "Ratchet was able to knock out the Snark Shark early on in the game, with a well-aimed shot to the chest that's bound to leave a mark. Things were looking up for the dashing Ratchet, but not for long—his own grenade throwing him across the field in the beginning of the second round.
"Last but not least on the lineup of Yellow Players, there's Yojiri—who, between one explosion and a nasty head-first collision with the Hutt ball, wasn't able to keep those infamous shoes clean for long. Yojiri's poor luck would carry over into the second round, when his bowcaster recoiled, smacking him in the face and breaking his nose! Yojiri targeted the Raging Bull after that, grazing the Tiefling's right arm with a shot from the same bowcaster.
"On Team Red, Snark Shark started the match off with an unwelcome surprise when his weapon malfunctioned, sending the young contestant flying around the stadium like greased lightening. Unfortunately, this wasn't the end of Snark Shark's poor luck, as he was shortly KO'ed after that. But it appears that he and the medical droid that drug him off field have struck up a friendship, and isn't that what sports are all about? The connections you make along the way?" Elora hesitated as the cameraman shot her a baffled look. "In the second round, Snark Shark's prospects would look up, as he was able to strike a blow against Krazy Kel with a handful of grenades, but this wasn't to last. A second weapon would malfunction within his hands, this time a rocket launcher.
"Team Red's (W)heels was an instant favorite with the crowd, garnering both sympathy and support from the crowd when she rolled out onto the field in a wheelchair. Despite her confinement, (W)heels is not to be underestimated—rolling with unnatural speed and blowing away her competition. She handles the energy lance like an old pro, as Ratchet can well attest to after she KOed him in the first round! (W)heels was quite literally on a roll, and her momentum would carry over into the second round, KOing Krazy Kel with the underestimated syringe gun! Krazy Kel would not be the only victim of the syringe gun, its sharp needle claiming the use of Ratchet's right arm after he used a frag grenade to blow up one of (W)heel's... wheels. Is there anything that well-dressed lady can't do?
"The Raging Bull, much like Ratchet, has been a fan favorite with the ladies." Briefly, the camera cut to a teenage girl in the crowd, screaming and leaning over the railing, Raging Bull's face plastered across a handmade poster with the words, "LET ME BE THE SALT TO YOUR PEPA" scrawled across the top, apparently a reference to the song that had played during his entrance. "Despite Krazy Kel tripping him last minute at the goal, Raging Bull was still able to score the first goal of the game—by falling in face first. His second goal was a bit more glamorous, brushing off Yojiri's shot and sailing into the goal for the second score of the game!
"All of the players have poured their hearts out today, but the performances of (W)heels and The Raging Bull have stood out. Team Red is currently in the lead, but the match isn't over yet! Some fans are still hopeful that Team Yellow will pull off a comeback and make Hutt Ball history! And now a word from our sponsors, coming to you with a brand new, limited time Emryc Energy Drink!"
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