Ask I Should Go… Find Palpatine’s Pimp Stick

[Lorcan]

It had been a joke.

Lorcan had made a karking joke about looting whatever passed for Palpatine’s tomb/grave/ditch in an attempt to steal the cane he used to be seen with. Worse, he’d made the joke while shooting gooey Sith clones or whatever while raiding some weird pureblood tomb with Stolas, his sugar daddy.

Or boss, he supposed was the technical term.

Whatever, the point was that it had been a joke and he had tried to not pay it anymore attention but he had decided that he would do a little research while he was trying to sleep in hyperspace. That decision had been about as good as Lorcan’s own chances of starring in a holoporno – not good at all for the uninitiated.

So he’d done some research both into the legit records and into the conspiracy theories that the holonet provided. Until finally he knew two things; the Death Star’s destruction had been an inside job and he had a starting point on where to try and track down some of Palpy’s shiny goodies.

Apparently some former Imperials had spilled their guts in the past about how Palpatine and his secrets had been shared with one person; Mas Amedda. Now that lanky streak of blue piss was long since dead but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still good for them juicy secrets! Apparently old blue balls and head spikes had written a personal journal with all the secrets he’d learned from Palps, just in case he needed to try and backstab the old man.

And some rich arsehole had just bought it at auction.

“Boss!” Lorcan called out as he entered one of the many rooms on Stolas’ current ship, “How would you like to join me on a lil field trip? It’ll be a breeze boss! We bash in some entitled rich kid’s teeth, no offence boss, and steal Mas Amedda’s Big-Black-Book-Of-Bollocks-Palpy-Hid so we can go nab his shiny pimp stick!”

Oh was that his apprentice? Aadya? Adaya? Ayeayea? The sassy one. Names were not a strong suit of Lorcan’s so she was officially needing a new nickname.

“We can even bring Second Best Minion along for the ride too.” He joked, tossing her a smirk and a wink, “If you think she can keep up of course. Wouldn’t want her to be too tired from all her dancing and shrak.”

@Mr. Teatime @Logan

 

[Aadya Rasheer]

It seemed like whenever Aadya tried to find some quiet time amidst the incredibly numerous rooms of Stolas' ship, someone always happened to find her and interrupt. Normally it was someone she could shoo away without much of a second thought, but not this time. This time it was the boisterous Lorcan, who Aadya found somehow both super annoying and mildly amusing.

Pretty brave talk for someone closing in on thirty. I'm sure I'd have no trouble keeping up with a geriatric. Aadya said idly, not even bothering to look up from her holobook. Do you need the stick because walking from bathroom to kitchen is getting too difficult for you grandpa?

Putting her book down, Aadya shook her head, unable to keep the smallest of grins from creasing the corners of her mouth. It was nice being around people with wit. She never really got that with the Jedi. Most of them were as boring as watching paint dry with personalities as dry as a popcorn fart.

I'm always game for putting my boot down the throat of the galaxy's wealthy elite, Aadya said, pouring some liquor from a flask that sat on the table in front of her into a glass before offering it to Lorcan. You think your lead is legit?

@Nefieslab @Mr. Teatime

 

[Lorcan]

Minion Number Two wanted to spar did she? Well what did he have to lose, wasn't like there was anything better to do. Matching wits with a teenager would usually be beneath most people but, well, there weren't many things that were beneath Lorcan these days. More fun that way he'd found recently so he was rolling with it.

That she knew his age was kinda weird - he didn't exactly have a bloody tinder bio. Had Tiny Dancer gone and done some research into him? Kinda equal parts cute and karked up.

"Least I can buy alcohol without having to mind-rape the cashier. Come on kid, you're like, 12 don't you have some holonet dance you should be learning?" he dismissed her with a variation on the standard dismissal for anyone younger than him, a smirk slowly but surely developing, "It's so the Boss-man here can smack hoes about - so consider your arse on notice."

Oh ho ho!

The book was down? That was like an admission that the teenager was actually going to engage. If he could feel things in his shrivelled little heart he'd likely be touched. Amused was better than touched though - he had a very clear no touching rule after all. That they both seemed on-board with kicking some rich boys in the pursestrings just made her all the better.

"Time to eat the rich, witch." he agreed with a bark of a laugh before accepting the glass with a grin, tilting his head to the side slightly, "I don't trust anyone who makes more than me and this twat might as well be gold plated - got one of those richman-grudges against the guy who bought it though. Trust he hates that karker more than he hates me."

Near thing though considering Lorcan had punched him in the dick the last time they'd met in person, but still.

@Logan @Mr. Teatime