Ask Intro: The Chef

[Z'Kair]

Kai was in deep shit.

He had broken into the royal palace on Hynestia Prime just fine, but for some reason the exit was hampered. From the sounds of it, unexpected authorities arrived at the palace and the crook he hired for the gig panicked and bailed. This meant the Fiani was stuck inside the palace with a comically large sack of stolen goods hoisted over his shoulder.

A part of him almost considered ditching the goods and running, but he knew he wouldn’t get this shot again. Everything had been lined up perfectly - Princess Yvanna had left for a walk in the gardens, the King was away, the Queen was heavily pregnant and napping often. Kai learned what he needed about the grounds while working as a janitor and smooth talking one of the handmaidens. However, it was time to ditch this place and in that final moment, everything went to hell.

The palace was massive with lots of windy paths, and he just had to get to an exit without getting caught. Alarms went off because his worthless partner saw authorities arriving and tripped things up on his way out. The entire palace was on high alert with guards combing through the halls.

Kai was pressed against a wall hiding behind a fountain. He could see two guards milling about on the other side of the statue as they complained about the Queen always panicking over nothing. Eventually, the men dispersed, but Kai’s way out was still blocked. His hair stood on end from panic, and he had to formulate a plan quickly.

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

The metal doors slammed with a CLANG as HoloFlex, Chef to the Stars, was booted into the palace dungeon. The palace guards were far too weak to truly restrain Flex without his consent - he just hoped that by playing along with whatever charade they had planned, they would let him go. He turned back to the guards, staring through the impenetrable particle wall that kept him ensnared within the palace's basement.

It was cold, lacking any of the insulation and heating technologies that the royals above were afforded. Cold as Hynestia can get in the winter. And Flex wore only on a black crop-top tank top with the words "EAT PRAY LIFT" embossed in golden sequins and some tight shorts. He shivered as he spoke to the guards. "I'm telling you. I didn't steal the necklace! Just look at my holopad." He flipped around his screen to show the guards, who looked on incredulously. It slowly fizzled to life, revealing a video of him in the very same outfit but sporting a golden-and-jewel encrusted chain that draped from his massive shoulders down to his knees.

...

The video kicks to life with upbeat island rhythms.

He clears his throat before speaking to the camera, showing an elegant palatial kitchen that is currently haphazardly filled with a bench press, power rack, and various chains, sleds, and iron ball weights. He brandishes a massive cleaver, the glint of the chain reflecting back to the polished knife.

He gives a toothy grin. "Good afternoon Flexxers!" He flexes into the camera, before pointing to the screen. "This is episode three of the HoloFlex Experience: Getting NASTY in Hynestia. Like I told y'all, I was up to big things." He gestures to the chain. "And I never disappoint. Look at this chain - solid gold & Hynestian gemstones in the middle of the royal palace itself." It was true, securing a job as a royal caterer & trainer for the monarchy's security detail was a huge accomplishment. In true Flex fashion, though, it was about to all come crashing down.

As he goes to gesture to the chain again, gently stroking the golden links that bind it, a guard slowly comes into focus on screen. He directs a hand at the Orc. "That's property of the Hynestian crown! You're committing treason, ORC!"

The video abruptly stops as guards dive at his knees.

...

"That video proves nothing, Orc. We're sweeping the palace now - many of the crown's valuables have gone missing." The guard bangs his fist on the metal console of the door. "Once our backup arrives, we're going to find out exactly what you stole." He steps away, speaking quietly on his comms channel.

Back upstairs, from his vantage point, Z'Kair will see two of the guards milling about suddenly become alert. They listen intently and walk right past him to a console - quickly pressing the keys 3-5-F-3-1 - which opens one of the many passages in the corridor. The guards hustle through the passageway downstairs, towards the dungeon which Flex found himself in.

@Sreeya

 

[Z'Kair]

Kai overheard the guards, peering past a statue to see what they keyed into the console to open up a passage. Now, this palace had many corridors, but this one looked secret and unexplored. He could certainly take on two guards instead of an entire team of them and perhaps this corridor would allow him a way out. He quickly dug through his sack, which looked like a Life Day present toy sack than anything else. Kai was in a hurry and he only managed to draw out a very heavy golden, jewel encrusted soup ladle in his time of crisis.

The Fiani was completely silent as he padded over to the corridor, typing in the digits he caught the guards entering. The door closed behind him as he continued down the corridor. Up ahead, he heard the guards grumbling about someone named Holo or Flex or whatever. None of that mattered, Kai needed to take these fools out stat.

He drew closer from behind them and brandished his ladle of doom, slamming it down on the back of one of the guard’s heads. The other he just plain tripped down the stairs with his tail. The ladled guard was out cold and Kai sprang up and dropped the giant sack of goods on the other guard. As the man flailed under the weight of it, Kai retrieved his ladle of doom and struck him repeatedly over the head till he stopped moving.

The Fiani thought he was in the clear until he looked up. And saw the biggest mother fuckin’ Orcolan he had ever seen in his life. Kai stared vacantly, bloody ladle in hand, his tail drooping to the ground and ears flattening.

That was when his keen hearing picked up commotion upstairs. Kai grabbed his bag and thought of ways out, but he paused for a moment, looking back at the prisoner, “Do you know your way around this place?” He asked urgently. If the orcolan was behind bars, he was likely a crook and shared Kai’s dreams of getting the fuck out.

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

Just as Flex began to plead his case, his savior appeared from the shadows, in the form of a cat person with a jewel-encrusted ladle. Odd. What was stranger was how deftly the Fiani was able to use this ladle to inflict damage. The Orc sucked his tusks in a mix of wonder and disgust, until he was addressed directly.

Anyone who was against the guards was on his side, he supposed. Time to get the frack off this frozen rock. "Yeah." His voice was deep and melodic, like the booming of a drum. "More importantly, I know the way out. Unlock the door." There was a landing pad for civilian speeders: Deliveries and tourists of the palace used it mostly. It had a lighter security presence, but it was also on the outskirts of the grounds. Maybe from this basement dungeon, they could find the right tunnel there. Or, they could just walk through the halls and beat everyone to death. Either or.

Despite the obvious tension of the situation, Flex was rather nonchalant. His mind was half-here, half-worrying about his follower count if it gets out that he got arrested by the Hynestian throne. That would be the third one this year. His followers didn't deserve that kind of stress.

It was still very cold in his cell. He began stretching, skipping in place, lunging...all a delicate part of a very intentionally crafted warm up routine for a workout. He felt his joints come alive, as if some one had breathed fire into his blood. He realized they hadn't introduced themselves to one-another yet, but that almost felt a liability until they had both escaped. "Your wrist feeling alright? I know some great counter-stretches for your arm, after that ladle beating you gave to 'im." His gaze went down to the guard. Did he still have that chain? At least Flex could get something out of this job.

"You've got a solid arm though, bro. You follow the Emryc Thorne Lifting Routine too?"

@Sreeya

 

[Z'Kair]

Kai stared with a mixture of terror and wonder at the massive orcolan that started to do a workout routine right there. He almost considered just leaving right then - the guy was a lunatic. However, he could hear a lot of shuffling around upstairs. It was a 50/50 on whether the orcolan’s first move was to throttle Kai, but he reasoned it didn’t make much sense, “I have a getaway speeder outside,” He had a partner in crime, but he didn’t trust anyone that much. He had the keys to that speeder so his dipshit accomplice had to escape on foot.

He retrieved a keycard from one of the guards, walking towards the cell, “And no, I’m probably the size of one of Emryc Thorne’s thighs,” He said dryly. Kai definitely did not look like anyone that followed the Thorne routine. In fact, he had a suspicion that this Flexo or whatever dude could use Kai as a bat to beat his enemies. Kai audibly gulped at the image as he unlocked the cell door.

“All right, lead the way out because we can’t go up the way we came,” Right? That was Flexo’s plan, it had to be that. No way would he come up the same way and choose violence….right?

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

Yeah, the Fiani was a little small. "Nah, bro, you're just being humble. Get some more protein in your diet and you'll get huge." If they got out of this, he would even offer a free week's worth of meal prep.

When the door swung open, Flex's blank expression slowly unfurled into a tusky grin. So they would make it out of here. The news of the speeder was even better. Flex would just have to make sure he didn't get left behind. He shot a puzzled look at Kai's last statement - why wouldn't they just go out the way they came? Because an entire contingent of guards may be headed down that very same staircase? Well, no one's ever made an omelette without cracking a few dozen eggs in an Orcish, barbaric rage, right?

"Yeah...uh..." He pointed at the staircase. "I think we have to go out this way. Let's just be extra quiet and sneaky about it." Good plan, Flex. No one will notice the the catguy with a giant sack of jewelry and the orc in a bedazzled tank top. The pair began to creep up the stairs, finally reaching the door which Z'Kair entered through without incident. They keypad awaited - "You know the password to the-"

Before he could ask, the door hissed open and the two stared face to face with another pair of royal patrolmen. Flex seized upon their momentary surprise - luckily he had just warmed up in his cell. He smothered the first guard he saw, wrapping his hands around the confused guard's waist and slamming him him into the ground, landing on top of the poor bastard in a pinning position. From here, he began to smash the guard's face into the marble flooring, blood and teeth sputtering down the steps.

Perhaps not the most subtle entrance. The trail of blood that they were creating was rather conspicuous. But the direct approach is often the effective one, in Flex's experience. They would just have to really leg it out of here. The two were back in the grand hallway. If Flex could just get to the kitchen and get his butcher's knife, they'd have a straight shot to the courtyard, and thus, to Z'Kair's speeder.

The other guard - stockier than her compatriot - responded almost immediately, raising a stun baton to swing on the hulking Orc. This left her back almost completely exposed to Z'Kair.

@Sreeya

 

[Z'Kair]

Quiet and sneaky? This guy was the size of a baby rancor. Kai’s hopes of getting out alive were leaking away faster than brain ooze from one of the dead guards. The Fiani was silently panicking and looking for other options when the brute started sneaking up the stairs. Kai observed for a few seconds before he rubbed his temples. His day couldn’t get any worse. He moodily followed him back up the stairs, preparing to get dragged right back into a damn cell. He made sure to grab a blaster off one of the dead guards.

The door swung open and Flexo got to work, Kai watching in stunned silence. The man was a monster, but a very effective one. The Fiani quickly sprang to action, bolting out behind his new partner in crime, still lugging the bag.

“Hey, hold this for me,” He said as he tossed the bag over to the orcolan who could carry it with far more ease. This freed Kai up to apply his own specialties which involved speed and agility. As the female guard came in with a stun button, Kai rolled around on the ground to come up behind her, leveling and shooting her in the back point blank range. It was only a stun blaster, but it dropped her nonetheless.

The two fought their way through the corridor towards the kitchen with Flexo barreling into them and Kai blasting them from a distance. The Fiani was a blur of motion, abruptly closing the distance to trip and drop guards on the floor only for Flexo to stomp over them on his way out. Other guards were pulled away from the breakout to usher the Queen back to her chambers. Since she was slow, this took up precious time.

Eventually they made it to the kitchen and Kai whirled around to look at Flexo, “WHY DID YOU BRING US HERE?” He screeched.

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

Word. They made it back to the kitchen. A quick search around the kitchen gave Flex exactly what he needed - his personal effects. An apron, a chef's hat, and a dangerously large kitchen knife. He sheathed the knife and threw the items into the huge, burlap sack he was now carrying. He heaved it with ease.

"Damn, bro. You've got some real fight in you." Anyone who survived one of Flex's poorly thought out ideas needed a strong will. He opened the Royal Fridge and got out an Imperade - the standard-issue Imperial sports drink. He slammed it back. "Well, for two reasons. I'm the chef - right? So it's so obvious I would come here to hide, they'd never think to check." Not quite certain they're on the logic, but all right. It seemed to have worked out for the pair: Flex froze from the shuffling of boots past the door of the kitchen towards the main exit, but they passed by without event. "Two, we can cut through the Royal Greenhouse from here. Just, uh...." True, the kitchen wasn't exactly where they needed to be. But it provided a shortcut through the Greenhouse, a collection of the Queen's most strange, bizarre, disturbing, and dangerous plants from around the galaxy. If they just exited through the greenhouse, they'd be able to make a swift escape from the palace proper.

It had a lovely rose garden, as well. "Just grab some meats from the fridge. The creepervines are really nice if you feed them." And incredibly unfriendly if you don't.

Flex took this moment of respite to stock up on sausage links, which he stuffed into the sack, covering the precious jewels Kai had collected with disgusting meat grease. He gestured towards the door - through the stainless windows, Kai would be able to see a lovely, rosy path that led towards an ornate, glass structure. The greenhouse. "We cut a straight shot through the greenhouse, sneak out the back, and then we're off world. Since the building's in lockdown, the door's probably locked. But we cut through that and I know security will be light." Hw wasn't the expert on the building's layout, but he had worked here enough days to know the basic layout.

"I'm all ears if you have other ideas, chief. Not sure how you got in here in the first place." It was less a question that demanded an answer than an open curiosity. Security was supposed to be really tight here - that's how Flex had gotten nabbed in the first place. The Fiani must have been pretty tricky to sneak his way in. And maybe that trickiness would help them both escape alive.

@Sreeya

 

[Z'Kair]

“A creep-what?” He blurted out without even wanting to know the answer. The guy was kooky, but he was very efficient at clobbering fools. Kai looked over and hissed when he saw the orcolan stashing greasy food into the bag, “DUDE!” He yelped in exasperation, but there was no time to melt down over his precious jewels. He followed suit as he grabbed things from the fridge, actually pausing to munch on a few snacks himself. Escaping and panicking worked up an appetite and Flexo had the right idea.

With that, he followed his large new friend to the greenhouse. Those creepvines were no joke, one almost snapping his tail off. Kai haphazardly threw pieces of bacon at the unnatural things, gingerly stepping past thorny vines and snapping plants. He had to leap over one that started to snake around his ankle.

As the guards began to give chase, Kai realized they hadn’t prepared for the greenhouse. Flexo’s knowledge proved critical as he heard screams of men getting chomped and bitten by the creepvines. Kai pressed on nonetheless, bodily pushing against Flexo’s back as if he could make the orcolan budge, “Go go go!”

After they were out of the greenhouse, Kai realized they were actually standing outside. He looked around himself, his eye widening, “HELL YEAH!” He whooped as he sprang up with his tail happily wagging, “Come on,” He said with a grin, running over to the speeder.

Now this speeder was meant for two smaller figures and Flexo was huge. Kai hopped into the driver's seat and left the orcolan to figure out how he was going to cram himself into the speeder along with the sack.

“You got a place to be?” He called out as he revved up the engines for a quick getaway.
@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

They had done it - survived! Made it to the outdoors. Flex let out a guttural yell - "LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" - before he considered the request. A place to be? This was his only place. It was back to wandering the dusty, galactic trails after this. Banned from another world. It is what it is - at least, without the Free Worlds Alliance and the New Republic, there was no centralized database of galactic criminals that the galaxy was operating from.

His stomach rumbled. The adventure had been just a bit too much cardio, maybe. He'd have to sneak in another meal to meet his macros for the day. "I rent space at this ghost kitchen that these bookies own in the slums." A hectic, small little counter - but a place with a kitchen and food and not associated to his name, where they could lay low for a little while and plot safe passage and transfer of goods.

"I owe you big time. Let me make you a meal, at least." He extended a massive fist for a bump. "My name's Hans. Most call me Flex, though, because..." The muscles really spoke for themselves. "You got anything you like to eat? People usually like the noodle dishes." He sagged into the second seat of the speeder, his weight compared to Kai's lop siding the speeder before the onboard computer calculated for the vastly different masses of the two passengers.

"What's your name, man?"

@Sreeya

 

[Z'Kair]

“Flexo, got it,” Kai said nonchalantly, “I’m Kodi,” He said. It was a name he always went by, choosing not to reveal his real name. Why did the orcolan’s name sound familiar? Was he some sort of celebrity chef? The Fiani was about to decline the food offer, but his stomach growled in protest. He scoffed, “We have all the ingredients you stuffed into my bag,” He said dryly as he started to head back towards his ship. Normally he didn’t trust others, and he still didn’t trust Flexo, but the man had been true to his word with their escape.

After a while they pulled up at a janky ship he stole off Nar Kaaga. It wasn’t much, but it was his home for now. Kai led the way to the disappointing kitchen, “Let’s see what you can do, man,” He said as he started unloading the sack. He stacked all the ingredients on the counter, practically shrieking when some of the grease got on his fur. The Fiani looked on in horror as the gems and other stolen goods including the ladle of doom were all covered in grease. However, he was out and could still sell all this, so that’s what mattered. He didn't take any of those items out for now - he was certain Flexo still didn't fully know what was in the bag and he'd keep it like that until he could vet him.

“How did you end up in that cell” He asked. Now that he had a ship, he could think about upgrading to the next tier of crime. Bigger jobs meant he couldn't act alone. However, he needed to see if Flexo was a crook or he just got caught in the crosshairs.

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

The kitchen and the gym were Flex's homes-away-from-home. The moment he smelled this cramped, "Alright, Kodi. Let's get to work." Before he could cook he needed a clean environment. "You can sit back for now while I check out the kitchen here and clean up. You're gonna have to help me make the noodles, though. You know how to make 'em from scratch? It can be a fun little trick for your next date night." He found industrial strength cleaning agent, and began to clean all the surfaces of dust and grime.

"Honestly, man," he said in between scrubs, "Long con gone wrong. I played it like a fracking idiot." All the work he had gone through to falsify his background checks, hide his past convictions, and separate his debt to a different legal entity had been wasted in one moment when he took the jewel-encrusted chain. "Those royals. You always think that they're so rich, they won't care about a little bit of skimming off the top. It was working for months - I worked in the palace, snuck out a few extra credits each night." A tidy sum to contribute to his massive, overwhelming debt burden. "But, I lost my focus, bro. Flew too close to the sun." That is, he recorded himself stealing a chain from the royal family, and tried to play it off unsuccessfully.

"But, when the Galaxy takes away one opportunity, it adds another. You showed up at the perfect time. How'd you wind up at the Hynestian Palace?" He asked the question rather nonchalantly, not expecting nor caring for the truth. He was making conversation, and now that they were on a ship together, he wanted to suss out the Fiani's vibe. They were all-business in the palace, for obvious reasons.

In a few minutes, the kitchen surfaces were spotless. Without another word, Flex began assembling the various materials for a delicious dish - flours, eggs, sausages, vegetables, fruits... "You don't have any Corellian Coconut milk here, do you? It blends really well."

"Noodles are really simple. Just make a volcano of flour and put an egg or two in the middle. Start to mix them together." He gestured with his massive knife towards an empty, stainless steel countertop. "I'm gonna start prepping the sauce."

Chopping began instantly. And while the Orc may be a hulking behemoth with the subtlety of a nest of Krykna, he was almost an artist in the kitchen. His cuts were quick and precise - not rushed, almost delicate. Onions, tomatoes, celery, ginger, and garlic were cut into fine pieces. He occasionally glanced towards Kodi to make sure he could handle the important task of making the noodles.

His stomach rumbled. This meal couldn't come soon enough.

@Sreeya

 

[Z'Kair]

He couldn’t remember the last time he sat back while someone cooked. The day took all sorts of weird turns, and now a fellow crook was chopping up veggies and making him dinner. Kai was seated on the edge of a counter, vacantly watching the orcolan work. He was thrilled to hear that the chef was equally crooked, and it meant he could be a potential business partner.

“Always gotta have someone on the inside,” He said with a grin, “I got a job as a janitor, but I was also working one of the handmaidens. Nice girl, dumb as a rock, perfect combo,” Kai said, “I got stuck getting out because we had the heat show up,” He tilted his head, eye narrowing slightly, “Come to think of it, they might’ve shown up ‘cause of you.”

He scoffed as Flexo asked if Kai had some fancy coconut milk, “What the hell is coconut milk?” He asked. Being on entirely industrial planets all his life, he wasn’t accustomed to a lot tropical foods. Kai walked over to work on the noodles. He certainly knew how to make noodles, as they were some of his favorite foods. The Fiani got to work, his tail swishing contently.

“No lemons or citrus,” Kai said after a moment. The Fiani had a strong aversion to citrus smells and flavors. He managed his part with the noodles well.

“I could use some muscles to work jobs with me,” He said after a moment of silence, surprising himself. He was accustomed to working alone at all times, but bigger payloads meant bigger risk and more hands, “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s running a con,” He flashed Flexor a grin. Muscles and a guy that could feed him? Kai saw no downsides, though he wasn't going to admit that bit out loud.

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

Flex-o offered little more than grunts and the occasional chuckle as he continued to cook. His focus was there - his ears perked up at the talk on a con though. Flex had always thought his problems were due to being a solo act. He never had anyone to fall back on - just bouncing from place-to-place and surviving. But a two-man operation? They could really start to move some weight.

"I'm listening." He turned on the stove, throwing a pan, some oil, and the diced veggies in to sauté. "It's funny. I could use a good conman with me." Being a living giant generally made it hard to move around inconspicuously. The Fiani cat-burglar would be a useful companion. Maybe he could help the little man bulk up a bit, too. "In fact, we've got all the tools we need right here for a simple two-man operation. Smash-and-grab. I smash, you grab." There were many unarmored vessels that the two could plunder right from this ship. The Fiani must have had a fence, too, to move so many stolen goods. It would be like printing credits. Flex could almost see it - a yacht on a beach in a distant part of the galaxy, surrounded by beautiful people all working out at his private gym-resort. It was a dream worth fighting for.

The scents of browning ginger and onion indicated it was time to throw the sausage and garlic in. It smelled. He glanced over at Kodi - who was handling the noodles with ease. He threw a splash of a soy sauce in the pan before stirring in the noodles, resulting in a delicious, golden brown, sausage stir fry. He made a bowl for Kodi and himself, offering chopsticks for each of them.

"There's this banking exec I ID'd while I was working at Hynestia. Likes to ingratiate himself with these C-tier royals, know what I mean? Type of guy that would buy a 20 credit title to pretend he's royalty." Flex also happened to owe a ridiculous amount of money to the executive's bank in personal loans, but that was neither here nor there. "Got a signal trace on his ship while I was working there. Should be easy enough." He slurped some noodles into his mouth.

"What do you think?" It was an open question - about the quality of the food and the idea. They had just survived one incident together, why not push their luck and go for another?

@Sreeya

 

[Z'Kair]

Kai took a few bites and was floored, “God damn this is good,” He blurted out loud, shamelessly slurping all the noodles. They were both crooks, he didn’t need to show manners. He all but stuck his face in the bowl, devouring it like a wild animal. He came up after a while, his face covered in sauce, which he promptly cleaned off. Kai gave a satisfied belch before deciding that Flexo earned a permanent position as ‘chef’ in this partnership in addition to their normal hijinks.

“Like.. a boarding job?” Kai asked, fascinated. He hadn’t considered doing a pirating run. Kai had always been a small time thief and broke into vaults and safes. However, pirating sounded like a huge upgrade. He wondered if he was ready for anything like that, but the prospects seemed entirely too delicious to ignore. Kai was silent for a moment, scratching his head.

“What kinda ship?” He asked, suddenly interested, “With just us, we can’t maneuver around shields. We’d have to stall out their engine. I hope it's a pleasure yacht,” Kai mused aloud, but he was getting more and more excited by the second.

“Let’s do this!” He cheered as he quickly started gathering the dishes. First stop was a fence to offload the royal goods. With that cash, Kai would buy some blasters and docking clamps, along with power harpoons to help them on their ridiculous endeavor.

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

While Z'Kair was outfitting them for the task ahead, Flex was, well, flexing. They split up. While Kai was arguing with the curmudgeonly fence, Flex began a light strength workout. When Kai went to the store, Flex added a more extensive leg routine to the day. And by the time Kai got back to the ship, Flex was finishing his workout with a core routine. Working out was his sacred time - he got to think through the plan.

There would be a meat-filled sandwich and a berry-filled smoothie waiting for Kai when he arrived back to the ship. "S'up, bro. Been thinking about the plan. I'm thinking - this is already your ship and the banker might recognize my face. You wanna...run this as the captain? You be the face, I mask up and just do the smash-and-grab?" Sure, there aren't many people with Flex's specific physique, but it could work.

"By the way, uh, should we just...shoot them? Steal their stuff?" He had never done proper pirating before. "Maybe slam into their ship and we board it?"

Flex wiped his brow. "Maybe we fake a medical emergency, and when they send a boarding craft to help us, we just knock them out and board back." He preferred the direct approach, of course, but it maybe crashing one ship into another wasn't the best idea he had.

"You got any more kitchen space in here? I'm trying to become the galaxy's number one distributor of Emryc Energy, so I would really appreciate some more pantry space." He wondered what the rent was like on a ship like this. Would this be his new hobo-home, until his bad ideas inevitably caught up with him?

@Sreeya

 

[Z'Kair]

Kai was in a bad mood by the time he returned. He knew he would have to get a new fencer because this one was taking too big of a margin. They would get whatever they needed for the next job so that was good to go. The Fiani marveled at the food already waiting for him, chowing down on the sandwich within seconds as Flexo laid out the plan. He considered it for a moment, “We need a gunner,” He sighed, “If we had one, they could take out their engine and we board with docking clamps. And let's try to avoid killing. I wanna keep it to stun and knockouts."

Their first job was going to have to be baiting the banker and hope they didn’t call for reinforcements. If they had slicer or techy person, they could disable comms, but neither Kai nor Flexo were skilled at that from what he could tell.

“Emryc Energy?” Kai asked in disbelief, “You know even Thorne himself probably doesn’t drink that shit, right?” He said as he shook his head.

It didn’t take them long to end up in the airspace where the signal trace indicated. Kai could see the yacht ahead of them, and he switched off the engines and stalled everything to give the appearance of their hyperdrive and engines breaking down. Kai cleared his throat and spoke into his comms, “Mayday! Mayday! Sending transponder codes. We’re stalled out here, can you assist?!”

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

“Received. We are just a pleasure yacht. We have notified the authorities on the surface. They should be out presently.”

Kai looked over at Flexo in a panic, “DUDE! They’re not buying it man!” He looked around frantically, “Quick, make some noises that sound like you just got stabbed.”

With Flexo doing his thing, Kai switched the comms on again, “Please! I must insist you assist us at once! We have an injury onboard and surely you have some medical equipment!”

Silence.

Kai’s ears were swiveling all over the place.

“Affirmative. Prepare for docking.”

The Fiane exhaled in relief, glancing over at Flexo. He walked over to grab his weapons.

“Let’s do this. We only have a small window before backup arrives.”

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

Flex really hammed it up - hacking, wheezing, wailing in pain, into the comms for Z'Kair's benefit. The plan apparently worked, as a small boarding vessel began docking procedures shortly after the comms line closed. Flex found a change of clothes, donning a long sleeve shirt, gloves, and some unassuming pants. Keeping their bounties low was crucial - they were both already wanted by Hynestia at this point, and going on a murder and robbery spree of the galactic's wealthiest would probably just end with the two of them in a shallow grave.

So, Flex took greater measure to hide his identity. The first disposable bag he could find, he covered his face in, only poking out eye holes and a mouth hole. He found some adhesive tape and some rope, too. He took a position by the boarding docks - crouching his massive form just barely enough to hide behind a stack of crates.

And then the boarding party arrived. Two middle aged humans, bordering on elderly, stepped onto the ship as the doors hissed open. A woman wearing exquisite pearls all over spoke first. "Good heavens, darling. The atmosphere aboard this craft is absolutely dreadful. And the smell." She dramatically withdrew a fan (also encrusted in pearls) to fan the awful scent of the poor away from her delicate nostrils.

Before her companion could respond, Flex was on them. He exploded out of the crates, a frenzied look under his eyes beneath the paper bag. These frail, weak, old humans were no match for an Orc of such well-built proportions. He handled them easily, sitting atop one while he hogtied the other.

Once the pairs' feet, hands, and mouths were all tied closed, he looked for his ally, Kodi. "Look! Unharmed. Let's go." He carried the pair back to the boarding craft, ignoring their muffled screams, as he tapped buttons absentmindedly. Eventually, he found the one he needed - an autopilot feature to return the craft back to the mothership.

The clock was ticking. Planetary Defense was on its way. But so far, they were making good time. When the boarding craft approaching the massive pleasure yacht, the comms line opened. Flex immediately hung up the call. The same trick wouldn't work twice.

Their craft docked the yacht without incident, to a row of other emergency boarding craft & shuttles that filled the long halls of the ship. They were in.

Beneath his paper thin mask, a tusky grin grew on the Orc's face. When was the last time a plan had worked out for him?

@Sreeya

 

[Z'Kair]

Kai was about to do some talking but Flexo beat him to the punch…literally. As the two aristocrats were hogtied, Kai made a point to rob them blind. That ridiculous fan alone could pay for a week’s worth of fuel! The Fiani was about to make fun of Flexo’s stupid disguise when he realized he didn’t have one himself. Normally he had a mercenary helmet lying around, but he had no time to look through his things. He excused himself briefly.

In the absence of anything that could supply a decent disguise, he looked through the kitchen for options. Flexo had left out some ingredients from cooking earlier and Kai found the perfect solution with lettuce and a rubber band. Kai emerged victorious from the kitchen, giving Flexo a thumbs up to indicate that he was ready to roll.

The two powered their way through the yacht, Flexo able to truck through the scared guests. Kai brandished a weapon and made them hand over their valuables to pour into a large sack. Several guests forgot to panic as they looked at Kai’s absurd disguise, but quickly remembered when he leveled a blaster.

“Go get the cargo,” He said to Flexo. The orcolan was massive and could move massive amounts of loot. He would be able to make it to the cargo hold without issue and find everything nicely stacked in boxes. He just had to pile them into a repulsorsled and quickly haul it back to their ship.

Meanwhile, Kai paced up and down the corridor where the passengers were tied and panicking against the wall. He already stunned one person to make a point and the pilot droid was taken out. Their biggest obstacle was the race against time.

@Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

The clock was counting down. As the 'Take-Out Bandits' traversed the halls of the mighty pleasure cruiser, Flex's grin only widened beneath his (literally) paper-thin disguise. This was the easiest money he had made in a long time - perks of having a partner. He hauled ass through that ship with Z'Kair, both aware of the winding timeline before the police showed up and ruined their day.

But unfortunately, that time would come closer than either of them would have hoped. Flex, naturally, got distracted when the pair arrived to the ship's kitchen, taking stock of their immaculate knife & food processor collection. "Look!" He tapped Kodi. "They have a donut droid here." He definitely wanted that for the ship. When the hulking Orc bruiser when to lift the droid, however, in his haste he committed a cardinal sin.

He used improper form. His body rejected it immediately, and he dropped all of the goods on the ground as he snarled out in pain. "MY BACK!" He howled, as the pain seared his back. He dropped the droid and sack straight on his feet. "MY LEGS!" FUCK that hurt.

He scrambled to recollect his goods, ditching the droids, but Flex was temporarily hobbled carting the goods across the ship. This would not be terribly problematic were it nor for the...

Oh no.

Out of the massive plexiglass viewports, a patrol boat came into sight. Over the ship's loudspeaker, a request came in. "This is the Planetary Defense Force, responding to a medical emergency call. Requesting access."

Fuck.

"Let's get the fuck outta here dude," paper bag whispered to lettuce, "I bet if we slink through boarding craft we can slip right past the PDF." He still hobbled, carrying the sack of goods over his back like a Father Spacemas hopped up on bad hooch.

"I repeat - this is the Planetary Defense Force, responding to a medical emergency call. By the Trigian Codex's Code of Arbitration 3.55.43, we have right to board craft within our gravity well. Beginning docking."

@Sreeya