Tabloid Is President Thorne an asexual?

[Lîsabé Hanivel]

Is President Thorne an asexual?

It is known to virtually every sentient being that President Emryc Thorne is the most desired man of the entire Galaxy. He isn't only gourgeous, but also is the ruler of the Independent Systems Consortium, one of the most successful states of the Galaxy. Everyone wants this man, perhaps even Chancellor Emil Ro!

However, it seems that President Thorne wants no one. The half-Selphi was never seen with any company, male or female. We interviewed some people who consider the President to be asexual. They believe that Thorne is he is incapable of being sexually attracted to others. If it's really true, many sentient beings in the Galaxy are going to have their hearts crushed. All the members of the fan club We love Emryc Thorne are going to cry!

Isn't it interesting? While President Thorne is an asexual, Chancellor Ro seems to have an uncontrollable appetite for new lovers. There is already an ongoing survey in the Holonet asking the people to vote in who they think that will be the next addition to the Chancellor's harem. So far Governor Galek Ordalos is winning. It seems that the Governor gave the people ideas when he said that would like to "dominate" Ro!

 

[Darth Tiamat]

It was like she was suddenly infected with something that gave her the giggles and they wouldn't stop. Tiamat was hunched over desk, laughing, peaking occasionally down at her holopad to the source of her laughter. Her sides were hurting so bad from how hard she was laughing and her eyes begun to tear in response. When the giggles started to slow, she tried to continue through the article and they just would start again.

She was eventually able to get up from her desk to check on progress within the new lab, Asteria Industies, still giggle and wiped away the tears that seemed to escape her eyes. She checked her image before exiting her office, looking acceptable and stepped out into the hall. However, thinking about the article, she started to laugh again and turned back to go to her office and laughed and laughed, and laughed some more.

Perhaps sending the article to like Renfry or someone to take away some of the giggles, but it took her a while to even send it as she sat down and laughed...

and laughed...

and laughed...

and laughed....

Lisabe should start doing stand-up.

 

[Renfry]

Renfry's communicator buzzed with another article from Tiamat and she muttered a quiet oh boy. Scrolling down slightly, she took a look at the title and couldn't help but start laughing as well.

WHAT?! There's no way, she said, still laughing as she opened the article and quickly read it. Emryc is ASEXUAL!? she practically shouted to absolutely nobody that was around.

She quickly started typing back. First he's monogamous and now he's asexual. What's going to come out next? He's dating a Chevin? she sent back to Tia. No one seemed to know Emryc very well. And the real crux of the problem was that Emryc's real sexual orientation was "Sith" but that wasn't going to fly real well with the rest of the galaxy, was it?

I can always rely on you to keep me updated on the galaxy's most accurate news reports.

@GABA