It Never Ends - the Learning

[Bruce Guleya]

Jedha Jedi Temple
20:00 Hours local time
​

It had been a long day for the Jedi Master known as Bruce Guleya. The sun had neared it's final resting place, painting the sky a brilliant pink, night was preferable to the Jedi, less heat. There was a soft breeze twisting around outside the temple, the occasional breeze entering the halls of the temple. Bruce had just stepped out of his temporary quarters, after reviewing some recent reports and going over ancient texts he had reviewed way too many times but it was still a good read.

He held his stance as the doors shut behind him, the door echoing in the near empty corridor. He wandered down the halls, dressed in the common Jedi attire, a simple long flowing brown robe with a white tunic and black boots. His lightsaber hilt hung on his waist, very rarely did he go anywhere without the lightsaber - this was one of the perks of being in a Jedi friendly and well respected halls where you could freely wear it. Out in the galaxy however, Bruce often had to stow his saber away inside his robes; he enjoyed the saber. He was proud of it, he was proud of being a Jedi despite the hostility and misconceptions the Order gained.

He wanted to take a moment to himself, but he also knew that his duties were never done; no matter how they developed; and before he could find himself in the halls of knowledge he needed to stop in at the halls of healing, simply to check in. This was his well known role as he'd taken upon himself since taking up the temporary residence on the planet. Although the tragedy that robbed the Order of their most respected member and rained ruin sections of their comfortable life styles - not to mention the countless injuries. Bruce was happy to help and happy to tend to those in need.

Bruce greeted a few of the members of the Order as they past him in the halls. This was such an unusual feeling for him, as a Knight he had always kind of shut himself away, loosing himself in the halls of knowledge and discoveries, digging up the past and all of that fun stuff as he called it. Since being a master he needed to be more involved and that was where he was at. Undergoing missions across the galaxy and starting to become more familiar to the Knights; that and he'd been unintentionally been a teacher for them.

Bruce stepped up to the large double doors leading into the healing wing. The bardottan pushed the doors open quietly and softly closed them behind him. They were busy, though there were not massive casualties like times of war, but what little patients they had certainly kept them attentive.

A Zabrak Jedi approached the Bardottan, bowing respectfully. "Master Guleya, have you come to help?" Bruce smiled and nodded, "Fortunately Master, we're not exhausted but we'll take whatever assistance to be offered."

@Esther Nyx

 

[Ti'Tani Fay]

Jedha was indeed an intrepid experience for Ti'Tani; its Jedi temple was unlike anything she had seen before. It certainly contrasted the icy structures of the Sisterhood; Lorrd was a far more unforgiving place. Jedha was more...open. And there was so much potential here. Pilgrims annually flocked to this ancestral sanctum from across the galaxy, seeking sustenance from its infinite bounty. Here, young Jedi could find mentors and teachers, scholar and historians granted access to limitless texts; truly this was the cradle of civilisation. And yet, the veiled Lorrdian had limited her exploration of its hallowed halls. And to such an extent that she was regarded as a bit of an enigma amongst her brethren. Though she had arrived at the temple months ago, some barely knew of her. Ti'Tani was pleasant enough, respectful to the masters whenever they passed by, but she was also distant. Calmly aloof. Instead of communing with her fellow Jedi, she sought isolation. Or rather, reflection. Truly, she was like a passing shadow, one which haunted the gardens and archives.

Yet now Ti'Tani found herself somewhere less than pleasing. The healing wing. Though she couldn't quite recall how she had arrived here. There were gaps in her memory, something which was becoming frighteningly frequent.

Despite this, when an olive skin Twi'Lek came to register her vitals, Ti'Tani gently tried to persuade her from doing so, "This really isn't necessary, I assure you." She then sat up from the recliner, ensuring her veil had not be displaced.

"This is the third time you have you been found unconscious, Lady Fay. It is most concerning. It could be something serious," The matron's concern was heartening, motherly even. Truly, she held the best intentions for her patient.

Indeed, this wasn't Ti'Tani first excursion to the temple's place of healing. On separate occasions now, the Lorrdian had been found prone on the ground, limp and unresponsive, eyes gazed over in an unconscious state. The first time, it was a temple sentry who had found her in the gardens; the human was so distressed, he carried her straight to the healers himself, fearing it was an attack of some sorts. Luckily, there was no evidence of such nature. Despite the concerns at the time, Ti'Tani had simply dismissed it as exhaustion from her travels. She did however apologise profusely to the sentry, ashamed to have caused him such trouble.

The second incident was in the temple's archives, though this time, a Rodian youngling had discovered her. The poor child was so troubled by the experience, she wouldn't like the veiled lady's side. The healers pleaded with Ti'Tani to accept their services, but the Lorrdian was strangely resistant, perhaps too modest or to humble to accept their aid. She simply requested they devote their time to other, more pressing, patients.

However, she would have a hard time dismissing them now. Though that didn't stop her from trying. "I'm merely tired. Jedha's climate is quite...taxing for me." It wasn't entirely deceitful; the heat could -at times- be rather unforgiving. Ti'Tani was accumulated to the harsh winters of her homeworld, Lorrd, not the severe humidity of Jedha.

The Twi'lek matron was not easily swayed however, "That may be, but for peace of mind, please relax. A healer will be with you shortly."

Ti'Tani no longer had the strength to argue. She knew if she protested much further she would garner the attention of the Master Healer lingering nearby and he would most definitely not let her leave without treatment. The Twi'lek, taking her patient silence for acceptance, smiled and moved on to another seeking her aid; a young knight who's sparring session had unfortunately gotten out of hand.

Deciding now was the best time to remove herself, Ti'Tani slipped away, calmly advancing towards the exiting double doors; yet she paused, a wave of vertigo yet again assailing her. She managed to keep herself standing this time, but still she swayed, her unsteady feet causing her stagger. Much to her embarrassment, she bumped into someone, a tall, sturdy figure, "Oh, my apologies," she bowed her head, hoping to atone for the offense, "I was just leaving."

​

@Zigara ​

 

[Bruce Guleya]

He had continued to speak with the young Knight who had greeted him, however he'd been listening closely. Bruce wasn't some time of authority around here or anything like that, no he was just a Master and while the title held a certain level of respect and sway within the Order he never once viewed himself as a figurehead, not like a Councillor; as such, he just let the conversation carry on and he had no need to intervene, not yet at least. Things seemed to be going well.

As he continued to speak, his conversation would be interrupted by a Knight succumbing to whatever illness plagued her. She collided with him as she attempted her escape, and soon she spoke an apology to the man - he suspected she wasn't entirely certain as to whom she had bumped into. "Yes young lady, I can see that." Bruce spoke directly, "After all, who needs to see a healer when they are ill?" the Bardottan smirked as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "You are not going anywhere."

The previous man he had spoken to quickly apologized yet again and made to take the veiled Jedi Knight into his custody and care but Bruce lifted a hand dismissing the Zabrak. "I believe this is going to be a case best suited for me, I mean no disrespect."

The Zabrak accepted the direction of the bardottan master and took his leave from the two.

"Come with me, I will not take any answer except for acceptance - this I can assure you. I think we need to have a bit of a discussion despite your own objections." He spoke with a stern tone, but he wasn't angry - just acting as a father might. Bruce was a man for caring and not a day went by that he would treat it any other way. He continued to maintain a confidence and a calming aura about him in his presence within the Force; courtesy of his light side connections.

The Jedi Master ushered the veiled knight further into the healing wing as he spotted a cot that was a little bit out of the way. He preferred his own form of isolation when he was trying to discover and treat things he viewed as complex; but they were not at all considered alone or hidden. As he ushered his new patient he tried to converse with her - trying to understand what had happened. As they arrived he gestured to the cot as he took up a seat beside the bed.

@Esther Nyx

 

[Ti'Tani Fay]

Ti'Tani did not immediately recognise the Bardottan, though his face and unique colourations seemed oddly familiar. She might have seen him fleetingly in the archives, during one of her numerous visits. She might have even greeted him one morning whilst she made her way to gardens. But other than that, she couldn't recall much else. Then again, she couldn't recall much of anything these days. Minutes bled into hours and hours fed into days; sometimes Ti'tani lost track of time itself, as if utterly unaware it even existed. And she knew exactly why: Withdraw. She was going into withdraw.

Shame filled her, ravaging her far worse than any affliction ever could; how unbecoming of a Jedi to resort to such depths, to use an illicit substance to medicate herself. It wasn't for recreational use, never anything of the sort, it just...it just dampened her sensitivity to the force, silencing it, albeit a brief reprieve. She doubt she could find a fellow Jedi who understood her; the force was meant to be an ally, a guiding presence. But for Ti'Tani, it sometimes felt more like a burden. Her control over the force was tentative at best, yet as she grew and matured, her ability to command the force waned. Certain traumatic experiences saw to that...painful memories, best leave them buried

If the force was meant to be her ally, then why did it torment her so? She had yet been able to garner an answer. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how deeply she meditated. The Force remained punitive.

Collecting herself, Ti'Tani -in apparent humility- lowered her viridescent green eyes, preferring to look at the floor than meet the gaze of the master who had halted her. It was a gesture of reluctant defeat; she knew better than to argue back, especially with a master. Besides, respect towards elders was a virtue of the Goddess, and Ti'Tani would honour that. Somewhat crestfallen, the veiled knight obediently followed Bruce without uttering a single word off protest.

She only hoped she could convince the Bardottan not to worry, whilst also silently praying he did not delve too deeply with his questioning. "Master, please do not concern yourself; this is simply fatigue, I assure you," With glassy eyes, she glanced at the cot he offered; after a moment of hesitation, she took it, "My meditation sessions have been rather extensive. Sometimes I forget to eat; foolish, I know. I promise I shall exercise more caution next time."

Except it was a lie. Whilst the Bardottan's aura was calming and stable, Ti'Tani's was irregular and wavering. The force was fighting to reconnect with her, to re-establish itself within; and whilst this transpired, her body was likewise battling to recover itself, fighting to evict the toxin she had knowingly invited. Perhaps that would begin to explain her glassy eyed gaze.

@Zigara ​

 

[Bruce Guleya]

Bruce had noted the defeat in the young Knight's voice and body language, Bruce thought it might be relevant in his interactions with the girl. Although the woman would insist on her being fine, the healer in Bruce refused to accept such excuses and such explanations. "My dear, we cannot simply ignore the incidents of the past and today. I have known exhaustion over the years, and I have also know the climate here on Jedha can be something of a shock to the system. I come from a very temperate climate, and my earlier duties kept taking me to desert after desert - quite the experience. I have been listening since I have entered, I heard a mention of multiple occurrences. This in itself warrants further investigation, especially because it was obvious you did not want to honor the nurse's request and strive to be taken out of sight.

"As I said before, this climate is taxing for those not accustomed to it. As such, more attention is needed and I insist on providing you that attention right now." Bruce was stern as he narrowed his gaze on the veiled Jedi. "I ask you to stay. Do not make me order it, Knight."

"Now, you say it is exhaustion but very few Jedi would allow this to be a reoccurring thing some close to each and every incident which leads me to believe there is more going on in that little head of yours. You wear a veil, a mask, and while I honour that tradition I do say you cannot mask yourself from me." Bruce had now reached out with the Force gently lapping the Knight's mind and her connections, while he could not sense the exact cause of the aliment he could acknowledge that something wasn't right. "I can sense that there is a bit of a turmoil within you, to what affect I am not certain - and quite honestly it in not my place to pry into one's personal struggles or lives, so I will not do so. But what IS my duty is correct the situations as they present themselves. You are fine physically I can see that - you're not suffering an illness at this time. Mentally I can feel that you're taxed, and spiritually everything is out of whack." He watched the Knight's reactions to what he was saying as he spoke, "It feels to me that you're struggling to maintain a steady control. I mean to say, the Force wishes to flow through you but you are denying it that privilege."

Bruce leaned back in his chair and tapped his chin, "My friend. What is the matter?"

@Esther Nyx

 

[Ti'Tani Fay]

The Bardottan had impressive perception; Ti'tani could not help by admire his well rounded awareness. He had even overheard her hushed exchanged with the Twi'Lek. It seems there was no escaping his care, the determination in his gaze confirmed that much. The reptilian master was not one to be dissuaded, that much was clear, perhaps it was part of his species' character. Ti'Tani was far too passive to challenge such conviction

Initially, the Lorddian recoiled at the alien's delicate laps of the force, her mind tentative and unsettled. Though the force had always been a constant presence in her life, Ti'Tani did not respond to it as a Jedi Knight was expected. She seemed to only tolerate it rather as oppose to welcome it. When younglings came to temple, the very first lesson they would learn was how to open themselves up to the force, how to channel it and work in tandem with its will. It was a benevolent source of guidance, should one to be willing to listen. Yet the veiled lady wasn't very willing. Quite the opposite. Apparently, she wanted to shut the force out. But such a thing was impossible. And it seemed the harder Ti'Tani tried, the stronger the force ushered itself back to her.

For a long time, the Lorddian was merely silent, apparently unsure how to word her thoughts. The force and Jedi were simultaneously linked. How strange it would seem for a Jedi Knight to reject the gift of the force, especially when many others would crave such power.

"Master, have you ever been afraid of the force?" She looked at him, eyes earnest in their concerns. No doubt her question was out of context, so Ti'Tani provided some insight. "When the Argazdan overlords sent slavers the sanctuary, I was so frightened." Her thoughts briefly drifted back to that horror day, the terror that assailed her, the screams of the sisters still audible in her ears. It had been years since then but still she haunted by the memory. By the guilt. "With the force, I collapsed half the compound, burying my own sisters in the rubble whilst the slavers fled. They called me a monster...I didn't mean to- to..." Tears trickled from her eyes, the raw pain clearly evident. She looked away, unable to bear the Bardottan's stare. She just wanted to hide away from the world. Away from the pain and the memories, away from the force. Why? Why did it endeavour to torment her?

"The older I get, the strong I become." She lamented, almost mournfully, "I levelled a temple at the age of fourteen. Imagine what destruction I could unleash now..." Her head fell, resting in the palms of her hands. It was a gesture of defeat, a sign of hopelessness. "I'm afraid master. Afraid of the force... Afraid of myself."

Ti'tani looked up at him, glaucous eyes gazed over with sorrow, "What do I do?"

​

 

[Bruce Guleya]

Bruce was a little startled by the question being presented to him, soon followed by the girl’s confession. But it wasn't unsurprising at all, it was a tale he'd heard too often within the walls of the temples. Some people had a knack for it others had struggles, but to each their own because everyone was unique. Bruce smiled reassuringly to the younger woman as she seemed to struggle. “Young Knight, you've nothing to worry this we can assure you. Many of us have felt that fear in one form or another, we are not immune to such. We all have our days, and the earlier days of training have such a phase. But, you must be doing something right after all you do hold the rank of Knight in the order.” Bruce pointed to the side of her head, absent was the Padawan braid, clearly she had passed her trials and that was something to say.


“As a young lad, I to had my reservations. However, I wasn't always Jedi, no. I was a member of a Bardottan Order back on bardotta. Now, they had a much more different view of the Force than the Jedi, now we didn't exactly use the Force like the Jedi but we did have control of it. Now, I will say on my world it was a great honour to be selected, and I was rather excited I will admit but the thought of leaving home weighed heavily. I recall doing some unusual things are first, I also remember dreams - lots of dreams some frightful and others simple or delightful. Those days were scary.” A smile crossed his features again, but of some joy. “I learned healing long ago. When I presented myself to the Order - despite the protest I got - I started a whole new chapter. Those early days, learning to enhance and manipulate the energies were quite the feeling. Sometimes unintended results, but with guidance I could conquer that.”


The Master reached out and placed a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder now. “It's cases like you that we strive to help. As you have witnessed - the awesome energies you have at your fingertips can be devastating at first but you can curb it all. As you speak, it is why we must act at younger ages - someone who had experienced the phenomenon are at risk. Others who've not had the ability to experience such only when they get older are still important to us because an adult mind can truly appreciate the abilities, though chaotic.”


“You're not a monster. You're a living, breathing being. You've got feelings and emotions. You've got a mind and a will. Monsters are abominations, they are slaves to the will of things unseen. Though you might have lived a life a slave, you are still not an abomination as I have said; because you still had your own will and that will kept you strong. What you do is up to you, for you're not a slave to us. My advice is to find someone who can give you they guidance you need - but I still want to remind you, you've got the guidance, control, and disciple you need - you are a Knight. Do not forget that.


“Seek guidance and understanding. Do not seek to seal yourself away; the Force needs to flow or it can become worse because you will lack the control needed - it becomes wild. Or if you're truly frightened and feel like this isn't for you or that you cannot do this, speak with the council, they may be able to aid you or strip you of the will if you can explain it - or place restraints. Ultimately the choice is yours and lies within your heart.”


The Bardottan Master finished his lecture all the while watching and monitoring the young girl. He let his words linger in the air hoping she'd be able to pick up what he was putting down.

@Esther Nyx

 

[Ti'Tani Fay]

The Bardottan's words brought tears to the Lorrdian's eyes. It felt reassuring, just hearing someone's own perspective and opinion. It was like a wave of warmth was washing over her, easing the aches within her. Parts of her were still fractured, still broken, but the Bardottan had somehow empowered her. Ti'Tani had spent so long shutting herself away from others, keeping them at a distance. It grew to such an extent that the veiled lady would go days without speaking to another sentient being. She was just left to her own thoughts, left with nothing but her own demons, the shadows of the past. She thought the reclusive act was part of reflection. Now she could see it was merely stages of isolation. Alienation.

Honestly, it was quite...refreshing, just conversing with another person. Not even a Jedi, just another mindful individual.

Still, one thought stuck with Ti'Tani. Stripping herself of the force? She had never even conceived such a possibility. Such a strange notion, to completely rid herself of her connection to the force. At first, it sounded ideal. In theory, she could return to the Sisterhood, continue her worship undeterred. She'd no longer be a part of the sordid conflict ravaging the galaxy, no longer have to suffer the nightmares it conjured forth.

And yet...she hesitated. As tempting as the offer was, it just seemed like the wrong path.

"No..." She mumbled with the shake of her head, "The Goddess gifted me with the force. I am destined to serve the light with it; to subvert the will of Via...it's unthinkable."

Whilst faithful to the Jedi Order, Ti'Tani was still a steadfast worshipping of Via; a celestial Goddess. Her radiance was similar to the cosmic energy of the Force. Followers of Via dedicated themselves to service and sacrifice; passivism and peace were their mantra. Often two faiths worked hand and hand with one another, even if some couldn't make the immediate connections. In the end, Ti'Tani believed it was Via's will for the Jedi to guide her on the path of life. Perhaps the Bardottan was the one to offer that guidance.

Drying her eyes, Ti'Tani finally met the alien's gaze. The storm within was slowly beginning calm. "You mentioned dreams. I have them as well." They were numerous, often more frightful than delightful. She wondered how the older Jedi managed them, how he interpreted them. "I've searched the archives regarding visions and dreams. However, texts are scarce. Do you still have these dreams?"

​

 

[Bruce Guleya]

"The dreams and visions still exists, but they are not as bad. Overtime you learn to treat, separate, control and process them. The issue however is, well they're never definitive. Some are just experiences and others are what would be classified as visions of the future. But I do admit, my experience is minimal these days as I did not receive the gift that is Farsight. But even so, futures are never certain and it truly is a case of interpretation and acting as the smallest action could change everything. Should you run into these things, it is recommended you seek out a Master or a Council member to help process and interpret. It is also important to meditate on the more powerful of images and feelings should you experience such; what you should NEVER do is keep them secret for they could be misinterpreted and detrimental overall; they are not designed to be handled solo - not unless you are Seer, and even then it is up for debate." The Bardottan tried his best to give a confident smile.

When the girl informed him that she would not seek to be cut from the Force and her desire to fulfill what she viewed as her destiny as a welcoming breath for the Jedi Master. It was important that those who were blessed with such a control be willing to accept it and at least strive to better their control or understanding of the Force. "Accepting this is important, so I am happy to hear you say that. But the option is always available, there are other options to isolate certain aspects - but we'll look at that some other time perhaps?"

He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest, "Texts won't always answer you. Sometimes you need to do. As I said previously, talk about them perhaps request a joint meditation with someone to help understand them and share them. They are always very very vague and I do not suggest you place blind faith into what you've seen. Things change, shift, its hard to describe."

It was very relaxing and refreshing to see that she was listening to him and that he had in some fashion managed to get through to the troubled Knight before him, he appreciated her questions and appreciated her attentive but he thought he would push just a little bit further into her situation, but he didn't want to push in regards to the Force, he wanted to push in terms of herself - personally. "So, you've been found a couple of times. I've my doubts of your claims, it's time to be real. Why have you been passing out, the truth please. Why so much concern about the Force and how it flows? I need to know to move forward."

 

[Ti'Tani Fay]

Ti'Tani listened intently to the Bardottan's words, finding them quite insightful and enlightening. Surprisingly enough, this was probably the longest conversation she had shared with someone for some time now. Despite her rather insular upbringing, the Lorrdian had some degree of knowledge regarding Bruce's species; there were a scholarly people, with an exceptional understanding of the force. Truthfully, the veiled lady was curious as the reptilian's philosophy regarding the cosmic energy; had she met him under different circumstances, perhaps they could have spent some time in open debate or discussion.

Yet when the alien master reverted attention back towards her, Ti'Tani grew shy once more, unsure whether or not to reveal more of troubles. This was still a relative stranger to her, one who might not wholly understand her actions, nor the motives that drove them. Still, the green eyed Jedi felt so broken, so fractured from her self imposed secrecy. Perhaps the stress from it all was the source of her reoccurring torments. The Sisterhood always petitioned truth as a divine virtue, a ultimate facet of life, something which should be respected and shared. Yet Ti'Tani had not shared anything with anyone for sometime now, not since him...

"May we go elsewhere to discuss this?" She warily glanced at the nearby attendants, still conscious of their semi public exposure. She felt vulnerable enough, contemplating revealing her shortcomings to this particular Jedi. She wasn't ready for others to be included in that personal experience just yet. So, Ti'Tani gestured to the adjacent gardens, hoping the healer would humour her request. She would stand, hoping the Bardottan would accompany her, thereby allowing the other Jedi to release them.

Only a short distance away, Ti'Tani settled herself in one of the temple's numerous gardens. She breathed in the air, savouring its richness. Yet, there was another purpose. She was readying herself, trying to build up the final nerve. Finally, with the master looking on in expectation, the Lorrdian began to reveal her burdens one by one. "I've made so many mistakes. Perhaps worst of all, I have tried to hide them, from the Jedi and from myself."

Closing her eyed, the Lorrdian cast her mind back, to the start of it all. "His name was Vex. And we...were lovers." She wasn't sure quite what to expect. She didn't know how the master would react to this, nor if he would sanction her for the admission. Still, she continued, feeling the floodgates were beginning to open. "We were very attached, I dare say I even loved him. But he fell, slain by one of the early exiles. I was there when it happened; he was cut down right there before my eyes. Since that day, I see these visions again and again. There is no rest, no reprieve. At first, I thought it was my punishment for loving Vex, for breaking the Order's laws. But the pain, it's too great" Her hand rose to her heart, her whole body tremoring, as if she had suffered the blow herself. It was a horrible ordeal to experience, even worse to witness it first hand. The battle had been long and arduous. So many perished that day. Still, Ti'Tani remembered Vex's stricken expression, the radiant light within him extinguishing in tandem with his saber. She held him in her arms, refusing to abandon him, all whilst the very exile who murdered him loomed nearby. It was a nightmare she relived constantly. It was that tragedy that drove her to her next transgression.

She was nearly shaking, unsure what the next words she uttered would bring.

Finally, her head hung in shame as she finally admitted, "In order to silence it all, the visions, the dreams, the force itself, I have been...self medicating. A small dosage, just to dampen the force." It was similar to a drug, its nature toxic and destructive. Whenever the visions became too great to tolerate, Ti'Tani would administer a small amount. Arguably, it was similar to those damned death stills in the core worlds; to a force user, the effects were varied. More often than not, one's connection to the force was hampered, stunted even, if only for a short time. But a drug was still a drug and there was not doubt this was the source of Ti'Tani's physical fragility. The dosing was infrequent and sporadic, really whenever the terrors and fears grew too much. How she had escape noticed for so long was beyond her. But now the veiled lady was simply tired of it. Tired of hiding her grief, tired of hiding her deceptions and sins. She just wanted to be made better, to move on from this endless circle.

She then looked at Bruce, tears once more in her eyes. She couldn't help but wonder if he was the one who would break the harmful circle. "I don't know what to do anymore..."

 

[Bruce Guleya]

Bruce nodded in acceptance of the request to find a more secluded, more private setting to discuss the details. The fact that she had requested it, indicated to the saurian like Master that the girl was willing to discuss things a little more in detail. He rose to his feet and offered the veiled woman his hand, an escort if you will.

When they arrived outside, it didn't take long for the gates to open and the young girl to speak freely, or at least a little more openly and as such Bruce gave her the attention she desired and required for him to better understand what was going on. The girl had become a victim of a romantic relationship it seemed, and yet she blames herself for much of her issues. The guilt of being responsible of making mistakes was always a burden that could overwhelm the most undisciplined mind. In truth her story was a story so familiar to him, she was never alone in this as many have fallen down the same path as she. Bruce was not surprised or put off by this revelation.

This thought process, this logic of being punished for being a sentient, a living, breathing individual was becoming all to common among the Order. Sure, Bruce could not argue for or against it, he was not one who had been in such a position - but he did love practically everyone, until they did him wrong; sure it might not have been a romantic kind of love, but it was still a form. Bruce continued to listen to her, weighing in her words and formulating a response. But what struck a chord with the Jedi Master was her decisions to cut herself off with a poison.

When she finished he sat back against the wall, arms crossed before him. "A story I have heard quite often actually. A tale of tragedy and of star-crossed lovers within the Jedi Order. My dear, you are not alone in those failings. The Jedi Order is made up of people of all walks a life; from dedicated children to blood thirsty..." He chuckled at the comment "... I know that isn't typical of the Jedi, but there are some who lack the training and control that the live for the combat. Ah, sorry, I got off track. While it is frowned upon, the Order doesn't completely forbid relationships - it's just it is a difficult thing to control and it is much more favorable in order to avoid the romantic attachments altogether. Focus and duty are what drives a Jedi most. Memories are a thing we must keep close and to guard implicitly. For memories and experiences are what makes us who we are - it is what makes everyone. You are shaped by these memories, you learn from these memories. Sure, some are not the most fond of memories but they do make us stronger, believe it or not.

I understand the hardships, I do. But your choice is turning to illicit substances is not an appropriate coping mechanism. Though it is hard, you must fight through them and understand them, meditate on them, free yourself of the poisons. When you open yourself to the Force and allow it to flow, it can indeed help you solve what plagues you. Though it is a tough road to walk and is in no means considered the easy way out. You can become better if you turn yourself over to those memories."

Bruce had to think a moment, even turning over to the memories wasn't ideal as it could very well result in a darker path, especially if one embraces the hurt and the pain, that was no the thing Bruce was suggesting. The Bardottan wasn't suggesting to embrace it, he was suggesting to accept it and work through it. "I'm afarid you're going down a treacherous path, and it is a difficult one. Had I met you shortly after the incident and the earlier stages of your self-medication, I could have helped you more so. But now your body as a reliance on your chosen substance, while I can purge you of the toxins, I cannot say it will be pleasant and you will be faced with many hard and painstaking nights due to withdraw. It would be ill-advised to cut cold, you will need to reduce consumption." Bruce tapped his chin in thought, "Perhaps you should allow yourself to become a target of the memories for a little longer? What I mean is do not simply turn to the substance at the first signs, instead let it play a bit before hand - and never increase the dose."

He knew he must have sounded like a bore, a true master and he knew he was about to sound even worse. "What you must do is face many guided meditations - I would not suggest you undertake these situations alone. Find a friend, another Knight or a Master to help be with you during these times. Someone who is more versed in meditations? Bit by bit you'll tear the walls down. It will not be easy, but it is doable I assure you. But of course, the other option if you wish to be rid of the Force all together, it is an options we can explore, but I have my doubts that is the best course of action."

Bruce wasn't sure if he was making any sense or if she was even listening to him, but it was the advice he could come up with at this time. He wasn't ready to give up though, he would be available should she ask questions or seek guidance.

@Esther Nyx