Ask Takodana It's Takodana Get Better

[Kane Seros]

"It's nothing, really," he said, shaking his head. "Certainly not the worst I've had." The worst had barely left his mouth before he was wincing at his own choice of words. He wasn't wrong, but that didn't make the sting of defeat any less. When his eyes opened again, her hands were hovering over his. Kane could feel the Force moving through her, sense the light that grew as they talked and dimmed when he pulled away. It was brightening, even now, and then he felt it in his hands. The rawness of his knuckles began to disappear, stinging and prickling as the skin healed over the worn digits. When her gaze met his again, he could feel the tax it had taken on her mind.

"You didn't have to do that," he said, even as she became excited again. If she wasn't practically completely open for him to sense and feel, Kane would have a hard time reading her. She was in her thoughts one moment, excited the next. And you're the one bringing her down. Kane pushed the voice back yet again. "Thank you." How many times had he had to thank her in this short time? Her persistence was annoyingly admirable.

He listened to her line of thinking about the recreation room, and could sense the frustration in others within her. For a moment he wanted to take the frustration away, to return some of what she'd been doing for him for her, but the idea was a fleeting one and was gone within seconds as Kane pulled his hands into his own lap. He'd seen it before on Nar Shaddaa, and he saw it again in the Jedi when his master was killed by abominations. Kane got close to people, and those people died.

"I wasn't a big fan of people before Genassa," he said, turning his gaze to the table. "Now they're insufferable." His dark eyes rose to hers when she asked if they could just use her quarters. He was dumbfounded, mouth hanging slightly open without words to fill the silence that came after the question. There was that light within her again, threatening to dim if he pulled away and said no. "Sure. We can do that."

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

Kane didn't seem ungrateful at all, but he surely seemed unsure of how to handle the situation and she blamed herself for making him slightly uncomfortable, if that was what it is. If he had grown up on Nar Shaddaa, she didn't doubt accepting help was incredibly difficult, but Lia was simply a compassionate, altruistic optimist for whom it had been a fully natural gesture.

She was about to mumble soft words of apology as he suddenly did thank her, and for a moment she was the one who struggled with words. She met his gaze and only nodded, before she softly managed to add, "you're welcome". She gave him a quick, however rather warm smile before she cleared her throat and scooted backwards with her chair.

He seemed unsure about her suggestion, yet shared a glimpse of what he thought people were like. She was truly sorry he felt that way, yet throughout the years she had learned that her padawan self had been nothing but foolishly naive. She understood what he meant, and while she didn't share the notion like that, she still found herself letting out an agreeing sigh.

Good...they were on one page though. She held his gaze for another moment before they got up and started moving, and once again she stayed close by his side in case he needed to stabilize himself. "What do you feel like watching?", she curiously asked as they started making their way over to her quarters, her gaze directed at the floor ahead.

@TheDudeMike

 

[Kane Seros]

Kane grabbed a hold of her as he stood up and let her lead their walk. He was slow still. Liana was able to heal his hands, but not even the Force to could help him get used to prosthetic legs. It was just going to take agonizing time and effort on his part. He had a feeling she wasn't going to let him do it on his own, either. Anyone willing to brave getting between someone's fists and a punching bag for a small dose of comfort probably wasn't afraid of much.

"I've never really watched much," Kane said. "I've always just trained as a Jedi. Before on Nar Shaddaa the only thing I'd get to watch anything is whatever sports were on the public holo-screens around food speeders." If he were being honest, watch was a strong word. If he was at a food speeder, it was because he was stealing from it, and that meant he wasn't sticking around long enough to really give a kriff about what was on the holo.

"What are your favorites? Let's watch one of those," he said, giving her a smirk that was trying to be a smile but wasn't quite there. It didn't matter if the holo was sappy or something he wouldn't be interested in. The main goal was to be distracted and not alone. Though Kane couldn't stop himself from thinking ahead. How was he going to get stronger? How was he going to improve both physically and in the Force? He turned his gaze to focus on the hall in front of them, carefully making sure he didn't roll an ankle or misstep.

"We should grab some data-crons from the library tomorrow."

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

Lia was quite in thoughts while she kept offering Kane the support he needed. Her thoughts circled back to Genassa before she quickly discarded the thoughts again. She was then occupied with picturing the next weeks, remembering how she had build her first lightsaber and the thoughts about helping him building a new one exciting her.

She was then however cautioning herself to stay in the presence for now and so she considered a few holos they could watch, before Kane explained he wasn't a huge holo guy. "Ohh...right...I'm sorry", she muttered quietly, blaming herself for her insensitivity before the regrets set in again.

She didn't want to stir up his past...she just wanted to take her kind off the past for a bit. "Well...I like quite a lot, but I'm thinking a comedy..or at least something light would be our best bet", she softly explained after she had cleared her throat. "We can check out some recommendations", usually, the algorithm never disappointed.

They were almost at her quarters when he mentioned the library, and the sudden change in topic made her raise a brow for a moment. "Sure! Studying might also help us process", she replied as they finally entered her assigned unit. "Here we are...", this place surely didn't feel like home, not just because it was just a temporary unit, but even more so because it lakced most personal touches. "I might have some popcorn...do you want to get comfortable on the couch and I prepare us some snacks and drinks?".

@TheDudeMike

 

[Kane Seros]

Kane sensed her self-reproach, and could even see it in her face when he stole a glance. She had nothing to be sorry about. Hell, he didn't even like the idea of sharing the blame for Genassa with her, let alone letting her feel regret over something she has no control over. He gave her arm a gentle squeeze. "There's no reason for you to be sorry, Liana. Even if I don't know much about holos, I wouldn't have agreed to watch some with you if I didn't want to." She went on to describe what she normally liked. A comedy seemed like a good choice, but something with a bit of story might be good too; immerse them into a different universe where Jedi and Sith don't exist.

"Do they have any action-comedy? Something that's funny with a bit of plot?" Kane asked, right before they made it to her quarters. It was cozy for a temporary unit. Kane's rooms had never felt quite the same, being bare of everything personalized outside of what was in his closet. She had a holo-screen, a couch, and just enough to make the temporary unit feel like a studio apartment.

Kane nodded at her question about snacks and drinks, and when she went to go start making them, he followed her instead of going to the couch. When she pulled the popcorn out, Kane gently took it from her and got to work preparing it. He was having trouble walking, but he could manage just fine helping with preparing snacks and drinks. WIth him on popcorn duty, that left Liana with the drinks. Part of him wished she would spike it with something. Sometimes a stiff drink was exactly what the doctor ordered.

"Thanks," he said without taking his eyes off the prepping popcorn. "For helping me get around today."

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

His soft words of reassurance drew a brief smile from her before directed her gaze ahead again. There were still mixed emotions inside her, but she was trying not to drown in more guilt while they passed on.

She liked his suggestion and thus added, "Sure! That sounds perfect actually...we can browse for something new and recommended right away". Thanks to streaming services, they were free to watch whatever, and while she was also preferring a new holo, their options were still endless anyway.

She opened her mouth to object as he went for the popcorn, but decided to let it slide right after. He didn't need her to belittle him and he probably wanted to help after he had struggled with accepting her help earlier. While she was quite well equipped with drinks, she had difficulties deciding whether going for something strong and straight was their best bet or something light and sweet.

Not managing to settle on an option, she went for both and thus mixed together two different glass carafes - leaving the booze out for now but carrying it over to the living room together with enough glasses just in case. "You're very welcome", she gently answered as she was back in the kitchen as he finished off the popcorn.

"I've always loved helping people...in a way that's my coping mechanism, too. But it's not just that...I didn't just help you because it helps me...I hope you know that. Today was perhaps the best day ok Takodana so far...it's...simply different to be around someone who understands the pain". She wasn't trying to weight the mood down again, so she was quickly discarding the thoughts of pain.

She prepared some water as well before she waited for him to finish up before they'd move back in front of the holo screen. "Okay, give me a topic I can search for", she urged him with a soft smile after she had turned on the holo screen, waiting for his input on the movie. "Or should I just go for something on today's top 10?".

@TheDudeMike

 

[Kane Seros]

Finishing the popcorn, Kane brought the bowl slowly and carefully over to the couch, breathing a sigh of relief when he was able to plop down. He didn’t wait when Liana put the drinks down, taking some of the straight and strong alcohol and downing a shot’s worth. The heat on the way down lingered in his chest, and he closed his eyes, relaxing back into the couch as if it were stealing his soul. It had been a long time since he had something stiff to drink, and it was a wonderful removal of the edge that lingered on his shoulders.

“You worry too much,” Kane said, opening his dark eyes to meet hers. He couldn’t help the upward curl at the corner of his lips. “I never thought you were helping me to help yourself, not that there’s anything wrong with helping yourself once in a while.” He paused, turning back to the holo-screen.

“I don’t really like people because none of them know what it was like growing up on Nar Shaddaa without a home,” he explained, the smirk staying on his lips as if he looked back on the hardships with a fondness. Part of him did- how many times would he be dead without the things he learned as a kid. “Then they didn't know what it was like to fight an infiltrator abomination on Coruscant, and now they don’t know what it was like on Genassa. I've never had anyone to share that with, so your presence is... different, but soothing.” He met her gaze again. "We'll just take it one good day at a time."

Turning back to holo-screen as she turned it on, he looked over the options that displayed on the screen. They all looked… interesting. Yeah, that was a good word for it. They were mostly Life Day specials, from the looks of it. There was one that stood out, however. “What about that one?” Kane asked, pointing to the third option in the top ten line-up. It was a movie called Live Easy with what Kane at least recognized as a galactic treasure among actors. Looked like it had a lot of blasters and a villain from Arkania. He had no idea why it was in the Life Day specials though; it certainly didn't look like a Life Day movie.

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

Lia surely didn't miss how Kane immediately reached for the bottle and downed a good gulp. While she almost froze up for a moment, it soon dawned her that he was literally up to something right there, so instead of just focusing on the spaceflix selection, she reached for the bottle and downed a shot portion herself.

While Lia wasn't a stranger to alcohol, the one he had chosen was strong, and so when she sat down the bottle, she turned her head the other way and grimaced severely at the burning sensation that ran down her throat. To overplay her reaction, she force pulled a blanket over from the direction she was briefly facing before she set it down between them in case he got cold.

"You worry too much". It wasn't a sentence she hadn't heard before, but it hit her different to hear it from him after they had only spent such a limited amount of time together so far. She swallowed hard before he changed the topic by sharing some more insights on his problems with people, and while she was grateful for not needing to comment on his prior statement, his story just saddened her again.

"I...understand", she quietly answered in regards to what he shared, before he commented on how this all was feeling for him. As he called it soothing, she was finally flooded with a hint of warmth again as she literally appreciated having this effect on people, but this was still an extreme situation and she wished she could have done more for him.

"One day at a time...yes". The mood was lightened as they browsed suggestions and while Live Easy looked like everything but a Life Day holo, she was happy with whatever. "Sure". This Will Brucis was a famous actor after all and the holo recommended, so she selected it and leaned back after.

Levitating the popcorn bowl over, she offered it to him before a slight smirk tugged at her lips. "Just know that if that holo sucks, I'll blame you forever".

@TheDudeMike

 

[Kane Seros]

Kane watched Liana take a shot of the hard stuff. She seemed to take it well, until she looked away. Kane couldn't help the little chuckle that bubbled out of him. He was surprised she even had any thing like it, to be honest. Cover the burn with enough sweetness and he supposed it would go down pretty smooth. "Here," he said, pouring them a tiny amount of the same drink. He picked his glass up. "When you take your first sip, swish it around a little gently, then blow out for a couple of seconds before swallowing. It goes down easier." Yet another thing Kane had learned early on Nar Shaddaa; drinking.

Kicking his shot back, he put the glass back down and eased back into the couch. Kane tucked the blanket a little further between them. He wasn't planning on needing it- he usually ran pretty hot naturally. Most of the time a top-sheet was too much for him. Sharing a blanket on the couch would be like stepping into an oven after ten minutes. Maybe she was one of those it's-ninety-degrees-but-it's-still-cold types?

"Oh no, whatever will I do," Kane quipped with a smirk, turning to the holo screen. He took a small handful of popcorn and held it in his lap, picking from it periodically. "Will Brucis is supposed to be one of the all time greats for acting. I doubt he'd star in a bad holo." It was suddenly apparent on the first scene why it was listed as a Life Day holo; the movie took place during Life Day. Good enough for Kane.

Though his eyes were on the holo, his guarded mind was on Liana and the rollercoaster of emotions he sensed from her. He hadn't known her before Genassa; couldn't tell if all the ups and downs were just extremes of trauma or if she'd always been like that. Kane had always been reserved around others. He let his guard down once around his former Master and said Master proceeded to use it against him in a spar, picking apart his defenses as soon as he thought of them. Just imagine what she could do, knowing how much of a failure you are. Kriffing voice. Kane shoved it back down into the pit it came from.

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

As Kane suddenly sdressed the alcohol again, Lia's pale cheeks turned bright red. So he had seen it...so she wasn't able to overplay it appropriately- fun. However, as he suggested showing her a trick that would teach her how actually drink that strong stuff.

She tried regaining composure quickly but the slightly sheepish grin on her lips didn't cease that quickly after either. She listened intently and let out a little chuckled as he effortlessly swallowed the bitter liquid. She was certain he had more experience than her, yet she immediately took the glass and did what he had done right before.

It was better, but she had to repress the grimace again and while it was somewhat easier, it still didn't come naturally. "That's...efficient. So thank you again...but I think I prefer the sweet stuff", she chuckled softly, reaching for the popcorn and throwing in a flake and crunching it.

As he quipped about the blame game, Lia's lips were once again crossed by a smirk before their conversation shifted onto the actor. "Oh yeah?", Lia had seen movies with him before, yet she pondered on his words for a moment before she nodded agreeingly. "True...but guess we'll see how pleasant our next adventures might get", she amusedly answered, before the holo began playing.

Lia soon learned that it was indeed mostly an actual action movie set around Life Day, yet she minded little that it wasn't as funny as a comedy - she wasn't even fully in the mood for laughing, so the suspenseful plot was fitting. The problem, however, was that Lia's exhaustion washed over her the moment she sat down and so while her eyelids grew heavy, she still tried to stay focused on the plot.

The blanket wasn't necessary, but the further the build up of the plot progressed, the harder it got to stay attentive. She closed her eyes for a few seconds every now and then while they were 20 minutes into the holo, before slowly but steadily, she fully drifted off. It was nothing but a nap at first, but while her body slacked to her left, Kane would soon see nothing but her back as deep sleep sat in.

For a while, she just soundly slept - a perfectly calm as she hadn't in days- but another 20 minutes later, it were the screams of the dying children that excruciatingly slowly succumbed to the poison the Sith had induced. Blood-shot eyes stared into her own while the massive wave of guilt washed over her. She was just staring. Watching. Not moving a single muscle while death and terror permeated the air.

A terror-stricken scream suddenly escaped, but it wasn't just in the dream - Lia rose at once, her eyes widened and tears-filled, her nails digging into her own palms and her whole body shaking. She was gasping for air, not even able to escape that nightmare just yet as the lines between reality and nightmare were fluid.

@TheDudeMike

 

[Kane Seros]

Kane watched her take a second sip of the hard stuff, and tried to hold his laugh as she grimaced. Hard liquor definitely wasn't for everyone. Meant more for Kane, he guessed, but he didn't much care to get drunk. He had tried coping with alcohol after fighting the infiltrator abomination on Coruscant, but all it did was amplify his fear and the nightmares. One or two shots to take the edge off was all he needed. His attention returned to the movie.

How pleasant their next adventures would be, huh? They were Jedi- were they even allowed to have pleasant adventures? Kane couldn't remember the last time he even had a good time outside of temple walls. There weren't very many of them, of course, but each one had given him an experience he would rather forget. He kept the thoughts to himself. No point in wallowing in self-pity. If they didn't want the life of a Jedi, the could have just walked away; not that many would even notice if they did walk away.

The movie was everything Kane thought it would be- just an action flick that took place during Life Day. He had to give the director their due though, it was a great flick. It was amusing just how many blaster bolts were fired without actually hitting any thing. At least the characters were compelling. Will Brucis did one hell of a job.

Kane saw Liana slaw over. She looked peaceful, her back rising and falling slowly. He smiled, pulling the blanket out from between them and covering her with it. Kane turned back to the movie but he wasn't really watching it anymore. Sleeping so peacefully after seeing the things Jedi had to so often wasn't easy, it was best if a movie didn't ruin it for her. He waved his hand, using the Force to turn the screen off.

Minutes later, Liana began to shake in her sleep. The hitched, staccato breaths, the shaking- the nightmares had found her any way. And look how useless you are to stop them from happening. Kane shook his head. There was nothing he could do. Nothing he knew of, anyway. She had kept her mind open, and while Kane could sense the turmoil and grief, he couldn't know what she was seeing. The only thing he could do was be there when she woke up.

When she shot upward with a scream, Kane recognized the face of terror. It was the same one he had seen in the mirror after Coruscant. The eyes were looking for any sign that this was reality and not still a nightmare. Kane didn't make her search for very long, wrapping his arms around her gently. "You're okay, Liana. You're awake. It was just a nightmare."

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

With Lia rising in sheer horror, it took her mind a few moments to process not only that what she had just seen was nothing but a dream, but Kane's soothing words as well, just like the warm, gentle embrace that slowly pulled her back into the reality.

Her heart was thundering in her chest and the dilated pupils only slowly began to appear less bewildered, but the physical contact was just the right thing that slowly grounded her. She forced herself to breathe and attempted to stop herself from trembling, but if it hadn't been for the arms around her, her breaths would have never steadied.

"I'm sorry", she shook her head as she rubbed her temples, her apology implying that she wasn't just sorry for having needed him so suddenly. How had she managed to fall asleep in the first place? And how long would those nightmares keep haunting her? Oh she still wished she could simply forget the terrible day on Genassa.

Only now did she realize that her nails were still digging into couch, so she forced her hands to open before she adjusted herself slightly to meet his gaze. "Thank you...". Words couldn't even express how grateful she was for not being all alone for once.

She wasn't even sure how late it had gotten, but she dreaded the night to come already. Shifting slightly, she exhaled deeply before an idea tugged at her mind. Before any doubts or overthinking could even set it, Lia decided that by channeling her emotional unrest to muster some courage to voice a question she was seriously embarrassed to ask:"This might sound stupid and childish...but could you please stay the night?"

@TheDudeMike

 

[Kane Seros]

Kane kept his arms wrapped around the heaving girl until her breath had calmed and her muscles relaxed. When did he become the rock of comfort for others? He was the gutter trash meant to throw his life away from them, not comfort them in their time of need. His future was a bleak cloud of pain and violence, yet here he was holding onto a warmth he'd never truly felt before for the sake of making it easier for her. Kane slowly pulled away once she had calmed down, piercing dark eyes fixed on her as she spoke.

"Yeah, I can do that," he said. He hadn't even thought about it before he answered. She had helped him through out the day, it was only fair that he help her through the night. Kane was used to nightmares; he lived with them daily even before Genassa. Everyone will wonder why you come and go from the same room. Kane shoved the voice back down. Everyone already thought they were failures, what they thought beyond that Kane didn't care.

"Eventually you get used to the nightmares," he said, not sure of what to say. "When we were called to action, I was sent to Coruscant with two other Knights. The plan was to get in the Grand Medical Facility, grab any records on the abominations, and get out. We ended up running into a rancor sized abomination, with all evidence pointing to it at one point being a person. Thing was throwing support beams at us like they were light weight javelins." Kane paused, leaning back on the opposite end of the couch.

"I had nightmares from that thing for weeks. Everyone told me to trust in the Light and the Force, and it will eventually pass. They were all wrong. Eventually I just learned they were dreams, and started fighting the creature all over again in my dreams. Just have to wait for that moment now with Genassa."

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

Lia dreaded the reply. It felt awkward even having to ask such a thing, yet she was so tired of being afraid of those nightmares each and every night, not having anyone to turn to, and now after she had learned that Kane and his gentle words could do so much more than just offering some comfort, she still had hope.

She didn't have to endure long lasting inconvenient silence as his reply came rather quickly. A wave of relief immediately washed over her while her muscles relaxed some more as she slowly sat up straight. "Thank you...", something she had repeatedly told him, but she meant it every single time.

A soft smile tugged at her lips that only slowly faded as he shared yet some more sad insights about his life before Genassa. It was interesting that their paths had not really crossed before, yet she felt like that even if many pieces of his past for missing, they had known each other much longer.

"I'm sorry, Kane...that sounds terrible. It sounds like your life has never been easy", not before he had joined the Jedi, and not after. It hunter her to hear all this and thanks to her past, she knew how this all left traces on your soul and mind. It was incredible how he still had all of this strength. She wanted to believe him, yet for now it was still rather hard. The nightmare of Syndicate space had never fully ceased for her.

@TheDudeMike

 

[Kane Seros]

"I'd like to think I'm stronger for it," Kane said, giving her a smile. It was a day of rarities for Kane it seemed, and smiling was one of them. "It doesn't matter now, though. Life is only going to get harder the more we let it, right?" He was reassuring himself as much as he was her. It was late, and Kane found himself getting comfortable leaning against the opposite end of the couch.

"Let's try sleep one more time and see if it sticks."

@LadyRen

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